Broken

Lucius sat on the end of his four poster bed in the sixth year boys' dormitories. He waited impatiently for Severus to arrive. His platinum blonde hair was tied in a ponytail with a black ribbon , and he was fully aware of how the moon reflected off it so beautifully. His pale features, which looked like Michelangelo had carved them himself, were also greatly accented in the moonlight. His eyes on this particular night were such a light silver that they were almost white , giving him an altogether otherworldly appearence.

A tall thin boy entered the room. He wasn´t as classically beautiful as the boy in the moonlight , but he was still undeniably striking. He had hazel eyes and long raven hair. His features weren´t as finely sculpted as Lucius' ; he had a long pointed nose that was almost hooked. He was even more pale than the blonde boy whom he now approached in a long stalking stride.

"Lucius," said the raven-haired boy "You wanted to see me?" He stood in front of him now looking down at his face.

"Yes, Severus," replied Lucius. Severus´ heart raced. It always did when he was near Lucius. He could almost sense the raw passion between them and he always wanted to taste it. Tonight seemed quite different, however.

It was one crisp autumn evening at Hogwarts. Lucius and Severus were paired up to work together on their Defense Against the Dark Arts essays. They sat across from each other in the Library talking in low whispers about Sirius, James, Remus and Peter as they took turns writing a debate paper about Illegal curses. They had put their quills down to look through their books , searching for the pros and cons of water torture curses , when all of the sudden Lucius and Severus grabbed the same quill at the same time.

Severus looked up at Lucius. His delicate, slender hand was placed on top of Lucius´ long fragile fingers. They looked at each other and smiled awkwardly for a moment. Severus then looked down and grabbed for the quill next to the one Lucius was holding. However, he found himself looking up at the other boy one more time and smiling again. He knew deep down that he felt something for Lucius, but couldn´t admit it to himself. Did Lucius feel the same way?***

For a few days the silent longing went on until Severus finally gathered up the courage to tell Lucius that he had feelings for him. Utterly terrified of the blonde boy's reaction, he waited for Lucius to coldly reject him. Instead, Lucius took Severus´ hands in his own and kissed him lightly on the cheek. Lucius always had a silent, subtle way of doing things

Now, Severus took Lucius´ hands into his. Lucius drew him near for a kiss and pulled him down onto the bed. Severus kissed Lucius deeply and passionately. Lucius moaned loudly, then realizing what he was doing, pushed Severus off of him.

Severus was stunned for a moment , like he was everytime they kissed ,ever since their first kiss. Six months ago . . .

Lucius and Severus ran down the dark empty corridor chasing each other playfully , their long hair and robes flowing behind them. Lucius skidded into an empty classroom, slipped and fell to the floor, almost colliding with a stack of empty chairs Severus gracefully slid to a halt and winked at Lucius. Before Lucius could get up, Severus pushed his shoulders back down and straddled him. They stared into each other's eyes , prolonging the anticipation of what was to come next. Severus stared down at him and smiled. Lucius looked up at him pleading with his eyes to be kissed, and Severus slowly leaned down to oblige. He had never kissed another boy before, and he found that he liked it. Severus didn´t recall either of them exchanging words that night. They just let their eyes hands and hearts do all of the talking.

"What´s wrong , Lucius?" Severus asked in a very concerned tone.

"Everything, " said Lucius. "I can´t do this anymore. I´m sorry. " Severus couldn´t believe this. He had suspected something might be wrong for a week now. Little things had given him clues, like how Lucius would no longer touch him in public and how pre-occupied he seemed when they made love. Still, Lucius couldn´t be doing what Severus thought he was going to do. Not now, at least, not while he looked so good in the moonlight. "We can´t be together anymore."

"Why not?" Severus.

Exactly why not?

Lucius asked himself. He knew he loved Severus. He loved him with an undying passion. But he couldn´t love two at once. Even to him it didn´t feel right to do that. "Narcissa," He finally replied.

"What?" exclaimed Severus, large tears welling up in his eyes.

"I´m in love with Narcissa." The tears now began to trickle down Severus´ cheek bones. He couldn´t do anything at this moment. It was as if his vocal chords stopped working and his heart was being wrenched right out of his chest.

Finally, Severus managed to pass a few words though his lips. "Why did you choose her over me?"

Lucius was taken aback by this question. Why had he chosen Narcissa over him? Lucius quickly came up with a lie. "Severus, when I started dating you, I was confused. I didn´t know what I wanted. Then I fell in love with Narcissa and it just felt more right."

Of course this just wasn´t true. His parents had gotten word that he was dating Severus and forced him to break it off or they would disown him. Telling Severus the lie felt so much better than telling him he did it for the inheritance. Lucius tried to hold back the tears but a few managed to slide down his face. "I´m so sorry, Severus, I really am." He stood up and tried to return the kiss the other boy had started earlier.

As he wiped the tears from his face, Severus pulled away. "Don´t, just don´t. Please. There was so much beauty, so much , in what we had. You want to throw it away for some girl." Lucius began to cry himself, making Severus cry even more. They looked away from each other. They looked away from the beauty they were losing: they were not only great lovers , but best friends.

Severus wiped his eyes once more and headed downstairs towards the common room to finish his Arithmancy homework. Lucius watched the tall dark figure walk slowly out of the room with a lot less confidence in his stride. Lucius curled up in bed wondering if he had done the right thing, knowing the answer