Rating:
PG-13
House:
Riddikulus
Genres:
Humor Humor
Era:
Multiple Eras
Stats:
Published: 09/12/2004
Updated: 11/14/2004
Words: 7,717
Chapters: 4
Hits: 2,063

Harry's Potion

Dementress

Story Summary:
Thanks to a malfunctioned potion, Harry and Hermione are forced to view life in a different perspective. Not your ordinary Freaky Friday plot! Warning: may bust lungs and cause sore butts.

Chapter 04

Posted:
11/14/2004
Hits:
389
Author's Note:
21 reviews in 2 days....I feel so loved! *hugs self* And wow thanks! Kepp 'em comin'!

Chapter 4: The Human Sacrifice! [or the date with Malfoy] Everyone gasp with me! *gasp*

Hermione dragged Harry to the common room with Ron trailing along their wake, attracting a lot of attention from their fellow Gryffindors. She pushed Harry inside the dorm, which was mercifully empty, with such force that he landed on the bed.

"Ok, first we need you to..." Hermione frantically began as she pulled Harry to on his feet and forced him to sit down in front of a vanity mirror. "...fix your hair. Now what do we do with it?" she said vaguely.

"What’s wrong with your hair?" Harry complained.

"Washing it would be a good start," Ron suggested, watching Harry's pained expression.

Hermione threw a glare at his direction then realized something. She scratched the back of her neck meekly. "Um, Harry? I think you need to take a shower," she said sheepishly.

Harry jumped up in a mixture of panic and fright. "No! Hermione please! I thought I had enough!" he whined.

"But you stink!"

"How do I take a bath?"

"I don't care! I just want you to smell good!"

Ron was watching amusedly on Hermione's bed. Seeing Harry, bickering with Hermione like that, instead of him, was quite refreshing.

"Hermione, how about lending Harry your swimsuit?" he suddenly piped up, causing the two to goggle at him.

Hermione smirked somewhat like her boyfriend and faced Harry who seemed stunned.

"Yes, good idea Ron. I do happen to have a swimsuit inside my trunk," she said slyly.

Harry glared at his red headed, so-called best friend, suddenly having this inability to speak. Hermione stalked to her trunk and pulled out a *ahem* pink swimsuit. She handed it to Harry who just stared at it as though it had Snape's face printed on it.

"I'm not wearing it." he firmly stated. His face met Hermione's stone Azkaban Dementor ice cold glare that could've made anyone run for their lives and decided that on second thought, the idea sounded better than showering in Hermione's naked body. He took the suit and backed slowly to the bathroom. As soon he slammed the door shut, Hermione's thin McGonagall like lips twitched and turned into a smile. She burst out giggling and later on Ron joined in.

"Hey Harry, how does it look?" Ron shouted. Hermione grabbed and stuffed a pillow from her bed on Ron's face. After the long minutes of silence, they finally heard the drops of water on floor, which told them that he got the suit on.

When Harry emerged from the bathroom, he was extremely flushed and his hair was dripping wet all over the place. Ron stuffed his mouth with his fist to stifle his sniggers with little success. Hermione smiled amusedly and forced down Harry on the stool. Harry sat down with his arms crossed and glared at the mirror.

"Ok then, next we'll have to dry you," Hermione stated as though she was some beautician doing a stubborn customer's hair.

She did a complicated little flick with her wand and dried Harry and her tresses in an instant. Now it was bushy and all over Harry's scowling face. Hermione did another flick and her hair became wavy. She snapped a fancy gold plated clip with her initials "HG" encrusted out of diamonds at the topside of her head. Then, for every guy’s nightmare, she picked up a compact of powder and held it up. Harry stared at it in revulsion.

"What are you going to do?" his dreaded whisper was echoed throughout the room.

Hermione rolled her eyes and started to apply forcibly the *shudder* makeup! Lastly, she slid some lipstick on and sprayed perfume on his neck. Ron couldn't contain himself any longer. His lungs went off as he rolled on the floor, clutching his stomach cackling.

"Hey Hermione, did you know the way you're putting makeup on Harry makes him look gay?"

Harry glowered at Ron through the mirror, resisting the urge to hex him as Hermione applied the finishing touches on her face, ignoring Ron's side comments. She stood back to admire her handiwork and left Harry in front of the mirror and to Ron's endless ridicules. Ron walked over to the table with his hands behind his back, grinning like an idiot.

"So Harry, enjoying the makeover?" he asked mischievously, uttermost irking Harry who totally regretted telling him about the switch.

"Another word from you and you'll find yourself in black and blue at the hospital wing tomorrow morning," threatened Harry.

Hermione came back with a dress that she dished out from her closet and tossed it to Harry. One look at it made Harry's face scrunch up.

"I'm not wearing that," he said mulishly.

Hermione glared but that didn't work. Harry pouted like a three-year-old and crossed his arms while Hermione placed her hands on her hips.

"You will. It's too late to turn back now," she snapped.

"I am not wearing that!" Harry repeated. "It's too...revealing! I can't believe you wear that!"

Hermione slapped her (or Harry's) forehead down to her face. "What's so revealing about an off shoulder dress?" she barked, waving the dress in front of Harry.

"Don't you have anything else?" he said desperately.

"No. Wear that dress!" Hermione demanded.

"I'd rather not go on the date," Harry retorted stubbornly.

Hermione leaned forward menacingly and snarled, "if you don't wear that dress RIGHT NOW, I'll give you six words. Boxers...Great Hall...people...tomorrow morning. You do the math."

Harry's pouting face paled slightly as he spluttered undefined words in dispute. Hermione smirked triumphantly as he snatched the dress and stomped to the bathroom. But before he reached the door, Hermione grabbed some 'underwear’ and gave it to Harry who seemed greenish in the face. He took it without a word with Ron laughing in the background.

Finally, he emerged from the bathroom looking a bit awkward. Hermione smiled "You look great!" she encouraged.

Harry didn't know whether to be pleased or embarrassed. She took him by the arm and fastened a pair of earrings and a necklace with difficulty. She slipped a matching ring and took a few steps backwards and stared at her own body with delight. Ron even took a moment from exploring the girl's dorm just for curiosity's sake to take a gander at Harry.

He grinned lopsidedly, "Nice Harry! You know, if I didn't know that you guys switched bodies, I would've snogged mione then," he remarked, causing Harry, and Hermione, to blush.

Hermione tapped her chin with her finger.

"Something’s missing,” she said, circling Harry. "Aha! Shoes!" she said, snapping her fingers.

She dug under her bed then pulled out a pair of stilettos and handed it to Harry. Ron snickered, wondering how Harry could walk on them. Hermione pointed a finger at them, commanding Harry to wear them. Harry hesitantly put them on, but wobbled at every step he took, resulting in him on falling on the floor and landing on his butt. Ron roared with laughter and banged his fist on the bed with tears streaming out of his eyes. Hermione rolled her eyes and helped Harry up.

"Honestly Harry," she chuckled lightly. "You can balance on a broom but you can't even stand straight on these shoes."

Harry steadied himself, "These--you call these shoes--are damn high!" he complained.

Hermione caught him before he fell again.

"Yeah, so is fifty feet in the air," she retorted. "Come on Harry, just try to balance. Just like when you're flying."

She added one last thing to go with the outfit, a purse to go with the dress.

"There! Perfect! You look beautiful, Harry," she said laughing lightly, compared to a certain red head who had been laughing for five minutes already.

Harry walked gingerly in front of a full-length mirror and stared at it in disbelief.

What he saw--or stared at, was an elegant Hermione (the original body, of course) in a beautiful white dress. It was off-shoulder and at least one inch above the knee, showing off her slender legs and arms. The top was slightly ruffled and the lower part was willowy. The white buckled stilettos were three inches in height and so was the purse she held. The hair that was once bushy was now exquisitely wavy and was held by a clip. Her fair face glowed like a goddess as silver rose earrings lighted her features. A matching necklace with the same silver rose for a pendant caressed her graceful neck, following the tender curve of her shapely breast. (A/N: Sorry! I'd go ballistic if I didn't type that!)

Hermione beamed at her body. She checked the watch she was wearing and it read 6:30. Her plan was to go to the Room of Requirement around 7:00. She only had thirty minutes to spare and she used up those extra minutes by teaching Harry the basics. You know, manners, how to act, complement, and kiss, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

"Let's go," Hermione muttered, throwing a cloak over Harry to cover the dress.

Silently, the trio made their way down the stairs, Harry being extremely careful with the killer shoes and trying not to trip. They settled themselves at a corner of the common room as to not attract attention. Hermione only then realized that missed the most important item, Harry's invisibility cloak.

"Ron, could you get Harry's invisibility cloak?" she asked.

Ron nodded and went up to the dorms leaving Harry and Hermione alone. Hermione used this silence between them to remind Harry of what to say and how to act: much to Harry's reluctance.

"And if he calls you 'baby cakes’, what do you say?" she tested him.

Harry rolled his eyes and replied, "Pucker up, loser!"

Hermione punched him at the arm. "I'm serious, Harry." she snapped.

Harry sighed and shuddered, "I call him 'honey bear’," he said dully with a hint of sarcasm, rubbing the place where Hermione hit him.

She continued testing him and giving tips until Ron returned. They exited quickly before they met anyone else.

The trio ran down hall and once the coast was clear, Hermione and Ron covered themselves under the cloak. They walked to the Room of Requirement and walked past it to open up the entrance. They entered and Harry and Ron gawked at the sight. Hermione sure had a clear imagination. If the room wasn’t called fancy dining, it would've been called 'Malfoy-worthy’. The room had a cozy atmosphere that I felt lazy in describing. I'll leave it to your imaginations thanks, besides many fics have done a good job on that. Anyway, Hermione checked if everything were in proper order while Harry and Ron just sat on one of the couches admiring the room. When she was satisfied, she went over to Harry and pulled his arm to stand up.

"Now listen, Draco will be here any minute and I want you to remember what I taught you and be good for heaven sakes!" she said feverishly.

Harry nodded, hardly listening.

"Oh and by the way, Draco's gift is inside your purse so I want you to give it to him during dinner," Hermione babbled on.

Harry came back to earth and decided to shut her up.

"Mione, ok I got it," he said.

Hermione stopped and took a deep breath.

"One more thing Harry, this is important!" she snapped at Harry who rolled his eyes. "I'll be right behind you under the invisibility cloak in case you need help," she said.

Harry nodded mutely.

"What do I do?" Ron piped up.

Hermione turned her head in Ron's direction.

"You'll be right next to me. If this date ends late, you can back us up since you’re head boy," she said simply.

"Harry, one last reminder..." Hermione was interrupted by a knock on the door. The trio looked at each other in horror but Harry's face went from paper white to sickly green.

He's here! dum dee dum dum...*Jaws music plays*

Hermione quickly covered herself with the cloak while hissing, "If he kisses you, just do it!" to Harry.

Ron joined her under the cloak and disappeared from Harry's view; Harry was starting to panic slightly.

"Open it!" she hissed. "And Ron, be quiet for a change!"

Harry shakily walked to the door, almost tripping on the shoes, and he pulled open the door, sweating. It's deja vu all over again. He faced Malfoy with the same courage when he faced Bald-demort (A/N: Well he is bald isn't he?) and the death eaters and pulled in hard for a smile.

"Hello Draco. Happy birthday," he said, trying not to grit his teeth together again.

Draco replied with a quick kiss that caught Harry off guard. If the slow gentle jazz music wasn't playing in the background, you would've heard a snigger and a light slap. Draco smirked and walked into the room, admiring the atmosphere, being completely unaware that Harry, who was closing the door, was gagging silently right behind him. He was wearing a button up shirt made out some black greenish material and black pants. His hair was 'ungelled’, down and spiky. Now don't get me started on how his built arms stood out *sigh* because...it's not important (A/N:* wipes drool*).

"You look beautiful, Hermione," Draco commented.

Harry took a deep breath before answering. "Thank you...uh, h-honey bear," he struggled.

Under the cloak, Ron covered his mouth to prevent from bursting again. Harry suddenly remembered what the real Hermione told him and he led Draco to the table that was set in the middle of the room. They both sat down and stared at each other, Harry is sweating again nervously. It was Draco who spoke up first. "So...Mya. Baby cakes. Thanks for the dinner. That's really nice of you."

"Mya?"

Harry tried to calm himself before answering since his brain was working overtime, "Yeah, y-you're welcome, h-honey bear."

At that moment, their food appeared, just like it would in the great hall. They proceeded to eat and Draco began to play footsie under the table, which made Harry twitch violently. Ron and Hermione peeked carefully under the table to see what made him jerk. Ron stuffed his fist again in his mouth and Hermione had a slightly envious look. She came closer to Harry who was eating his food with great difficulty.

"Play along!" she hissed.

Harry chewed his food and skittishly played footsie with HIS WORST ENEMY (though second to the Dork lord)!

"Say something nice about him. Start a conversation," Hermione whispered.

Harry picked up a goblet of pumpkin juice and pretended to take a sip.

"Like what? Why me?" he muttered.

"You're too quiet! He'll think you have some sort of problem," She hissed back.

"Yeah I do have a problem! He is a ferret and his name is Malfoy!"

"Just say something!"

"Like what?"

"Like...how sexy he looks tonight."

"WHAT?"

Draco looked up from his cordon bleu.

"Did you say something Mya?" asked Draco.

Harry, and Hermione, faced Draco.

"Um...nothing D-Draco," Harry stuttered.

Hermione hissed at Harry before backing away, "Boxers."

Harry paled slightly under the make up and gathered all the strength to what he was going to say. "I-It's just that...you l-look *shudder* rather...sexy tonight." he strained, blushing.

It took Ron four hands, his and Hermione's, to keep him from howling with glee.

"Thank you. So do you," Draco said with the smirk that made Hermione sigh dreamily and Ron look at her oddly.

Harry suddenly remembered about giving the gift during dinner, thanks to the voice in his head. Oh wait, that was Hermione whispering to him. Forget the conscience. Harry opened the purse he had and pulled out a small shiny green box with a silver ribbon sealing it. Wonder what 'mione got him? He thought. He handed the gift over, with a really good acting voice of "Happy birthday, Draco!" Draco untied the ribbon in one pull and grinned at the content of the box. He withdrew a thin gold chain and on its end was a majestic finely polished silver dragons head-piece with the word "Draco" embossed on it at the back.

"Thanks Mya. It's beautiful...just like you," he breathed charmingly, entranced by the pendant.

Hermione blushed bright red, blew a kiss, sighed dreamily again, smiled goofily, and leaned her head on an extremely perplexed Ron. Draco leaned forward and kissed Harry squarely on the lips and I definitely don't need to explain what Ron is doing just now. When sat back down, Harry just smiled and returned to his food, realizing that he just lost his appetite. He could not totally believe that his rival could actually be a sincere gentleman for once.

The rest of the dinner went without a flaw, unless of course you counted when Ron snickered a little too loudly or when Harry was about to reveal his switch since he couldn't take it anymore, but Hermione hissed "boxers" just in time. When their plates were dessert free, they disappeared and the room began playing to slow ballroom music. Draco smiled and stood up and held out his hand to Harry. Hermione rushed to Harry's side and again hissed "Take it." Not really knowing what he was doing, Harry placed his hands--or 'Mione's--on Draco's and was led to an open part of the room and here he placed his hands on Harry's waist. Harry twitched edgily. Harry shakily settled his hands on HIS ENEMY'S (second to Tommy-boy) shoulders. Draco stared *in a singsong mushy tone* lovingly at Hermione's eyes, or who he thought was his widdle Mya. They started slow dancing, it stretched on for minutes, the longer it lasted the more Harry got spooked. The music faded and Draco dropped his arms, so did Harry.

"Mya..." he muttered. Harry panicked, mentally, and readied himself for what was coming next. Memories flashed before his eyes of the experience he had earlier and it was purely agonizing that he had to repeat the show. Draco leaned closer and caught Harry's lips with his and started kissing. Harry tried hard to make it convincing that he was kissing back with the same feelings as Draco. Let's see what's going on under the cloak shall we? It took every ounce of strength for Ron not to make even a single peep. Hermione crossed her arms and watched them make out, wishing that she was back at her body that very moment. Sometime after what ten minutes of snogging, Draco parted, leaving Harry feeling extremely sick. He grinned and Harry weakly smiled back, having this desire to hex him till next year. Somewhere, a clock chimed to them that it was already midnight. Draco locked his hands with Harry's and said, "It's late. We need to go back." Harry nodded, thanking the Gods that this date is officially over. Draco led him to the door and pulled it open for him. Harry took his time in leaving, hoping that the guys would get the hint and exit before him. As Draco left the Room of Requirement, the door disappeared behind him as they settled off to the Gryffindor common room, holding hands while walking. They arrived eventually in front of the Fat lady portrait; she was sleeping. They faced each other in the dark as they attempted to say good night and good bye.

"Thanks again Mya. I had a wonderful night," Draco murmured, careful not to wake the Fat lady.

Harry nodded and his eyes widened as he stared at an area behind Draco. Hermione was a foot away from her boyfriend and she was half-covered by the cloak. She looked at Harry straightly and made gestures with her hand, telling him to say something back then her half vanished from sight. Harry did what he was told and his eyes flew back to the platinum blonde on front of him.

"You're welcome, Draco. Enjoy the gift," he replied.

Then he thought that it was time to get back at Hermione. He purposely dropped his purse, sensing that she was kneeling next to him.

"Eat your heart out, 'Mione’, " he muttered, pretty sure that she heard him.

He got up, and then he bravely snogged Draco in front of her, making it convincing.

He soon stopped and said, "Good night Draco," with the best seductive voice he could use.

He woke up the fat lady and entered slowly, letting his best friends in first. He heard Draco walk off and breathed a sigh of relief that the day had ended. "Just a minute guys,” Hermione quickly whispered to them. "I'll be back." As she hurried off in the direction Draco went.

Harry and Ron watched where she went. With great shock, they saw Hermione cover Draco's eyes, spin him around and kiss him till he turned a nice blueberry shade. She sprinted back, leaving a VERY, VERY confused Draco Malfoy.
"What just happened?"

Author notes: *peeks around* Clear? Ok then! Still in one piece? A-ok? Good! Hope you enjoyed that! More to come!!!

Next chapter: Hermione's Turn!