Harry's Potion

Chapter 2: Snogging with the enemy (NO THIS IS NOT A SLASH FIC!)

Malfoy? Harry wondered. "What the hell is he doing here?"

"There you are Hermione! Where have you been? I didn't see you at lunch," Draco said, looking quite relieved, placing a hand on Harry's shoulder.

Hermione? Harry thought. He grinned sheepishly, in lack of an expression. Inside his head, his brain was working furiously. Since when did Malfoy call her...Then his eyes widened in horror and his jaw was about to dislocate as he hit the comprehension. He remembered what Hermione told him the other day and since he was with Ron that time, and it wasn't a pretty sight. One side of his brain was swearing so badly and the other side was trying extremely hard not to show his true feelings as the message was processed over and over and over again.

Hermione's boyfriend is...Malfoy! Oh shit...

Even though Malfoy is his best friend's boyfriend, that still didn't change his feelings towards Malfoy. He was still the same old bloody git that he used to be. The only difference was that he stopped calling Hermione a 'mudblood' and he slightly lessened the insults now that he was ‘in love’.

Malfoy tilted his head. "Hermione, baby, what's wrong? And why is your forehead red?" He brushed his thumb gently on Harry's forehead. Harry resisted the urge to punch him in the guts. He twitched nervously. His muscles worked overtime to try and match the reply he was going to say, and it did seemed quite difficult, considering what situation he was in. Finally he pulled in a smile, well, a rather pained one at that.

"N-nothing... s-sugar muffin." Harry struggled, using those cutesy words girls use on their boyfriends, though quite lamely with his teeth shut together while he tucked a strand of hair behind his ear, something he wasn't used to doing. He felt that he would've rather died by watching Voldemort put on an extremely skimpy red bikini singing ‘Toxic’ while seducing Snape before using ‘sugar muffin’ on Malfoy. If the real Hermione were here, she would have rolled her eyes to the heavens. Malfoy seemed suspicious but decided not to press on.

"So...what are you doing here?" he asked, propping his arm on the door, his eyes travelling inside the room, scanning the cauldron on the table and the potion on the floor. "Uh, what happened in here?" he asked. Harry looked behind him. Sure enough, the potion was all over the room and the cauldron emitted wispy strands of smoke.

"Um, a l-little accident happened when I-I helped...Harry with his potion," he said nervously. It felt odd to say his own name like that; much less being called Hermione. Why can't that git leave? he said mentally, feeling quite exasperated. "So...um...if you don't mind, I-I'll--," he said but Malfoy stopped Harry from closing the door with his arm.

"Say, where is Potter?" he asked. "Where is the-boy-who-lived-to-be-a-git?" Harry's cheeks flushed. But he was Hermione's best friend and in her body. He can't ruin her life, which includes her [bleep!] boyfriend. That is punching the organs out of Malfoy would be worth it...he resisted.

"Oh...um...he went to the b-bathroom," he stuttered, pleading that Malfoy would leave.

Unfortunately, Fate decided to play a little trick. Malfoy smirked and a malicious look flashed in his eyes. Harry gulped as he took a step backward in fear of the look in his eyes, causing Malfoy to follow him. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. I'll kill Malfoy when I get back to my body! I swear I'm going to hex him so bad he'll have to eat his food through a straw! he thought, panicking, as he walked backwards. Malfoy pinned his arms on the wall, trapping Hermione or who he thought was Hermione, who was pleading on his life for what he thought would happen would not.

"So, Potter's not here, eh?" Malfoy drawled with a hint of suggestiveness in his tone.

He is here, dingbat! Harry thought with his teeth gritted.

"How about we…"

WE?

"do a little something…"

No way! Nuh - uh! Not on your life!

"while he's not here?"

If I'm thinking what I think your thinking, then FORGET IT!

Harry, seeing no other way out, tried. "Um... Mal--Draco, we sh-shouldn't be doing this, you know..." he said weakly. However, he didn't give in. Malfoy smirked again.

"Hermione, we've been doing this in the library ever since," he said. Harry mentally shuddered. He braced himself as Malfoy drew nearer and . . . . he did it.

It started slow and gentle then rough as he got into the mood. Harry sucked in his breath as he pleaded to the Gods to kill Malfoy on the spot. How can the boy who thwarted Voldemort countless times be so vulnerable and stupid in this situation? "Gods, please get me the hell out of here! I'm feeling homosexual right now, AND I DON'T LIKE IT ONE BIT!" Finally, after a few minutes of...well you know...Malfoy stopped and placed on his trademark smirk.

"I hope that was a preview of tonight's activities," he drawled in the tone that scared Harry. With one swift of his robes he was gone, leaving a VERY [I can't think of a word enough to describe what Harry would be feeling right now] Harry.

A very sheepish Hermione came back, only to find a ceaselessly gagging Harry on his knees, clutching his throat, spitting now and then.

"Um...Harry?"

"BLECK!"

"What happened?"

Harry settled down, which seemed rather endless. Though still on both knees, he can speak.

"Your--BLECK--boyfriend--spit--just--BLEAUGH--made out--spit--with--gasp--me!" he spluttered. Hermione didn't know whether to laugh or not. She decided: starting with a chuckle, which quickly turned into boisterous laughter that was so hard it, was almost silent. She collapsed and rolled around the floor, clutching her stomach. Harry stood up, wiping his mouth, and glaring at Hermione.

"IT'S NOT FUNNY, HERMIONE! HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF MALFOY STUCK HIS TONGUE DOWN YOUR THROAT? AND YOU KNOW WHAT? HE DID!" Harry bellowed then shivered violently at the mere thought of it.

"THAT WAS THE WORST THING I EVER EXPERIENCED! A-AND HAVE YOU BEEN SNOGGING MALFOY IN THE LIBRARY? BLIMEY, NO WONDER YOU FAILED THE LAST CHARMS TEST AND STILL DIDN'T CARE! I NEED BREATH MINTS!" He yelled all of this in one breath. All Hermione can do is giggle incoherently.

"Oh...my...God..." she gasped in between giggles. Harry breathed heavily, turning ten different shades of red. Taking sympathy on Harry, she conjured a small tin box of Altoids. Harry grabbed the box and dumped every piece of mint in his mouth. Sinking to the floor next to Hermione, he sighed deeply, though his eyes are still twitching. It had been an hour before Hermione stopped giggling.

"What did Malfoy mean by 'I hope that was a preview of tonight's activities?" Harry suddenly asked. Hermione snapped out of her reverie and the worried panicked look replaced her face.

"Oh no, I just remembered."

"What?"

"I have a date with...D-Draco," Hermione said faintly. Harry's twitching eyes widened to the size of saucers in horror.

"Uh-uh! NO! No way! I am not going out with Malfoy if that's what you're thinking!" he snapped. And you thought being in another person's body was already enough... Hermione took off her--err, Harry's glasses and rubbed her eyes. Then she thought of an idea that actually helped.

"Let's go see Dumbledore!" she exclaimed. Both stood up so fast and ran to Dumbledore's office, breaking the speed barrier before Hermione stopped Harry first.

"What now?" Harry asked impatiently. Hermione smiled slyly. "Cute boxers, by the way," she said, grinning, then running off; followed by a crimson faced Harry.

Harry you idiot! Why didn't you think of that earlier? Dumbledore! You would've saved yourself from snogging Malfoy! My boxers are cute?