Harry's Insanity

Harry's Insanity

The bread was hard.

This was the only thing Harry could think as he sat in the great hall one morning. The cheese tasted funny as well.

These thoughts consumed him until he felt the terrible need to do something about it. He suddenly stood up and raised himself onto the Gryffindor table, jumping up and down to make sure he had everyone's attention. Then he screamed.

It was a piercing scream. Loud. High pitched. Girly.

Everyone in the hall was shocked to move. His two best friends were frozen beside him, but Harry didn't care. He was in a bad mood.

"THE BREAD IS HARD!" he screamed. "HOW CAN THIS BE? NOOOOOOOOOO..."

He stopped screaming and sat on the tabletop with his arms wrapped around his legs, sobbing his heart out. How could they give him hard bread? His life was over.

Hermione stroked his back in a soothing manner, and Ron wrapped him in a hug. Harry only cried harder. He wanted some cheese!

Suddenly a blonde head made its way into his line of sight, which was currently in a direct path to his ankles. Draco Malfoy had crossed the hall and was now lying on his back on the Gryffindor table with his head between Harry's ankles looking up at his face.

"Are you alright Harry? What did the nasty house-elves do to your bread?"

Harry sniffled.

"It's HARD, Dwaco! Oh, what did I do to deserve this?"

"It's not your fault Harry. It's the breads fault. Silly bread. Will I tell it off for you?"

Harry nodded. "Yes please, Dwaco."

"Ok."

Draco lifted himself from his previous position, and giving everyone a warning look, turned to the bread basket.

"Bad bread! How dare you be hard! Go to your room! You're grounded!"

Magically, the bread disappeared.

Draco turned to Harry, and smiled at him. Harry grinned, and jumped up off of the table and into Draco's arms. Draco picked him up and put him over his shoulder. Harry giggled and kicked his legs in the air.

Draco carried him up to the staff table, and stood in front of the potions professor. He put Harry down, and gave him his soft blanket, which he suddenly realised he had in his hand. Snape smiled, and patted his knee. Harry jumped over the table and landed in the black haired mans knee with a happy shout.

"Sevie!"

"Hello Harry. Are you ready for your bottle?"

Harry grinned again and a little dribble dripped down his chin. Severus gave him a dummy, and Harry sucked away happily.

Suddenly the doors to the hall crashed open, and a terrible site was forced upon everyone present. Three people entered, and a horrible tune started playing from invisible speakers. The three people were wearing stupid looking clothes, but seemed to think they looked good.

They started singing, and all the windows in the place smashed on the first note.

Busted really were that bad.

Honestly.

Suddenly, the one with the humongous eyebrows marched right up to professor McGonagall and sat in her lap. He took up the chorus. Looking straight into the ugly ass teachers eyes he sang to her.

Your voice is echoed in my mind
I count the days till you are mine
I can't tell my friends cause they will laugh
I love a member of the staff
And I fight my way to front of class
To get the best view of your ass
I drop my wand on the floor
You bend down and shows me more,

You're what I go to school for
Even though it is a real bore
You can call me crazy
But I know that you crave me
You're what I go to school for
Even though it is a real bore
Girlfriends I've had plenty
None like Professor McGonagall
You're what I go to school for
You're what I go to school for

So you may be seventy-three
But that doesn't bother me
You're boyfriend's working out of town
I find a reason to go round
I climb a tree outside you're home
To make sure that you're alone
I've see you in you're granny wear
I can't help but stop and stare

You're what I go to school for
Even though it is a real bore
You can call me crazy
But I know that you crave me

You're what I go to school for
Even though it is a real bore

Girlfriends I've had plenty
None like Professor McGonagall
You're what I go to school for
You're what I go to school for

Everyone that you teach all day
Knows you're looking at me in a different way
I guess, that's why
My marks are getting so high
I could see those tell-tale signs
Telling me that I was on your mind
I could see that you wanted more
When you told me that I'm what you go to school for
I'm what you go to school for

You've packed you're bag it's in the trunk
Looks like you picked herself a hunk
We fly by school to say goodbye
My friends they can't believe their eyes

You're what I go to school for
Even though it is a real bore
You can call me crazy
But I know that you crave me
You're what I go to school for
Even though it is a real bore
Girlfriends I've had plenty
None like Professor McGonagall
You're what I go to school for
You're what I go to school for."

Suddenly the young whippersnapper captured the Transfiguration teacher in a kiss. They snogged for ages before the sound of someone being sick made them break apart.

McGonagall screamed.

Harry lay dead on the floor in a puddle of his own vomit.

The evil eyebrows had done it.