Breathe

He couldn't breathe.

His eyes could not process the sight before him.

He could not hear a sound.

All he could see was his life in ruins, laid before him on the ground.

Wizards rushed around him, tending to the fallen. He was vaguely aware of someone touching him, trying to guide him to the medical tents. But he could not turn away.

A mass of brown curls and red hair, tangled together. Limbs crumpled on the ground.

Remus's face appeared before him, mouthing his name. He could not focus on what Lupin might be saying, looking at him blankly.

Finally, a stretcher was conjured and he was gently, but firmly, made to lie upon it.

As the stretcher began to move away, he turned his head to glimpse Madam Pomfrey kneeling down to tend to Ron and Hermione.

~~~~~~~~~~~

How long had he been there, he wondered.

Activity swirled around him. Healers checked him for wounds. Remus held his hand and absently stroked his hair.

Across the room, he spied Snape bent over, his hand on Draco's shoulder.

But he still couldn't hear anything, his breath was still bottled up inside him and his eyes could not forget the sight of their lifeless forms.

And slowly, it all just faded away...

~~~~~~~~~~~

"First time at Hogwarts? Ron's new too." He looked at the tall gangly boy with the ginger hair. "Anyone sitting there? Everywhere else is full." He was dumbfounded by the wonder in Ron's face when he saw the scar on Harry's head.

Hermione's face swam before him. She was eleven years old. "Oh, are you doing magic? Let's see it, then." He remembered the excitement in her eyes and voice as she anxiously awaited her first bit of magic.

First year was so long ago. It was all so new and shiny then. His first Quidditch match, the look on Ron's face when he caught the Snitch, the earnestness in Hermione's voice when she told him about Snape. And then suddenly, he saw Ron's pale face and the terror in Hermione's eyes as she shrank away from the troll. The resignation in Ron's face when Harry realized he planned to sacrifice himself on the chessboard. Hermione's lip trembling as she sent him through the black flames to face Voldemort alone.

They were his first true friends, his family, and they had stood by him through everything. How could he continue without them?

~~~~~~~~~~~

"Is he alright, Madam Pomfrey?"

"There's nothing wrong with him, physically or magically, Remus. He may just be in a state of emotional shock."

"Well, he's not responding to anything or anyone."

"Give him some time, Remus, it's been a very difficult day."

"What about Ron and Hermione? Are they okay?"

"Well, they.... well, I just don't know right now, I'm afraid. Things are still touch and go. I'd better get back to them."

"Harry, can you hear me? Please wake up."

~~~~~~~~~~~

Ron's eyes gleamed. "The car! We can fly the car to Hogwarts!" Harry remembered the laughter they shared on the journey. And the awful feeling in the pit of his stomach as they waited to find out if they'd been expelled. When Ron received his mother's howler, Harry was sure she'd never forgive him. But she had and she had loved him as one of her own children.

They had not doubted him when he started hearing voices. And they staunchly defended him after he'd been revealed as a Parselmouth and rumours began to fly that he was the Heir of Slytherin. Hermione had even broken the rules by brewing an illegal potion to prove his innocence.

Nothing could prepare him for the despair he'd felt when McGonagall had shown them Hermione's petrified body. The helplessness he felt. He was supposed to be a powerful wizard, wasn't he?

It was only to help Hermione that he persuaded Ron to enter the Forbidden Forest, to take Hagrid's advice and follow the spiders. And in the end, Heone had held the answer all along, in her very hands.

So, he'd entered the Chamber. To save Ginny, because she was Ron's sister and he'd seen the look on Ron's face when she was taken. To save Hermione, because he preferred her bossy voice to that empty stare. He had done it for them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Severus, how's Draco?"

"As well as can be expected. He was hit by a few stray curses. But I think watching his father die did more damage."

"I suppose he was holding onto that last bit of hope. He's lucky he was able to see the truth last year. He's lucky he had you to turn to."

"Lupin."

"Hmm?"

"Potter will be lucky, too."

"I hope you're right, Severus. I hope you're right."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

They were always the first to send birthday greetings. And he treasured every scrap of paper filled with news from them. After the incident with Aunt Marge, he feared he'd never see them again. But there they were, outside of Fortescue's, looking happy and sun-kissed and every bit like home to him.

Which is why he was so relieved to see their faces after the terror of the Dementor. They were pale and shaken but they reassured him. And he didn't feel quite so alone. He secretly revelled in their mutual horror and concern over Black's escape.

When he woke in the hospital wing after falling from his broom, he was disappointed about the Quidditch match. But Ron's anxious looks and Hermione's bloodshot eyes distracted him. They didn't leave his bedside all weekend, except to sleep.

He remembered feeling comforted by their presence, while at the same time hesitating to share what he thought he saw before he fell. He knew now that it had not been the Grim, but he remembered how hesitant he was to share anything that would upset them more.

His first thought after hearing the "official" version of Sirius's story in the Three Broomsticks was that his parents' best friend had betrayed them. He could not forgive himself for his second thought. Could Ron and Hermione ever do that to him? He knew the answer now but, initially, it had been so unsettling to him.

When Hermione went to McGonagall over the Firebolt, his sense of betrayal was only lessened by Ron's outrage on his behalf. When Ron was convinced that Crookshanks had killed Scabbers, Harry was so torn. How could he choose between them? That is, until Ron thought Sirius was attacking him and his screams woke Harry and he realized that he couldn't lose either of them.

His stomach still roiled at the sickening crack of Ron's leg as he disappeared down the roots of the Whomping Willow. It was the resulting scene in the Shrieking Shack that truly solidified the rest of his life. He learned the truth about Sirius, about his parents' death, about Ron and Hermione. The had been no betrayal, nor would there ever be one.

~~~~~~~~~~~

"Molly, Arthur."

"Remus, how are they? Have you seen them? No one will tell us anything."

"Madam Pomfrey is still with them."

"But how badly are they injured?"

"Well, it's hard to tell. It looks like they were hit with several slashing curses. There's...a lot of blood."

"Oh, Arthur!"

"Now, Molly. Ron is strong. He's been through this before. We just have to let the healers do what they can. I..."

"Why don't you two sit down? I'll go back and check on them."

"Wait, Remus, what about Harry? Is he okay?"

"He's...Poppy tells me he's fine. But he's not talking or responding to anything."

"Oh, oh dear."

"Molly, what if we lose him? What if we lose all of them? I lost James and Lily and Sirius and even Peter. I can't, I can't do this again."

"Why don't you sit down with us, Remus? It's going to be a long night."

~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry had such high hopes for his fourth year. But they were quickly dispelled after the events surrounding the Quidditch World Cup. Still, he knew that he could face whatever was coming with Ron and Hermione at his side.

He was truly stunned when his name came spewing forth from the Goblet of Fire. Could someone be trying to kill him? Would anyone other than Ron and Hermione believe that he had not placed his name in the Goblet? But Ron didn't believe him. He accused Harry of lying. And didn't speak to him for three weeks. In many ways, it was worse then the Firebolt incident with Hermione. The relief he felt after the First Task was for more than having successfully escaped the Hungarian Horntail.

When Hermione appeared on Viktor's arm at the Yule Ball, Harry realized there were lots of things he'd not noticed about his friends. After the Second Task, when Ron was revealed as the thing Harry would miss the most, he thought for sure his secret was out.

What unnerved him the most about watching Barty Crouch Jr.'s trial in the Pensieve was that Crouch Sr. was able to disown and punish his son so easily. He'd always imagined that family, parents especially, loved you unconditionally. Would his family still love him if they knew the truth?

All of his questions went unanswered as he prepared for the Third Task. He had spent the better part of the school year as the object of taunts and speculation. He just wanted it to be over. When Bill and Mrs. Weasley showed up to cheer him on in the final task, he thought perhaps he really had nothing to be worried about after all.

The maze was not as hard as he'd expected it to be. Harry was surprised when Cedric wanted him to take the Cup, but more importantly he was impressed by what it said about Cedric as a person. And even though a solitary victory would have been great, he saw the opportunity to do what was right. He offered Cedric a chance to share the fortune. He accepted and paid dearly for it.

The guilt and exhaustion made it difficult for him to look at Ron and Hermione that night. t they stayed and offered nothing more than their silent comfort. The remainder of the school year was a blur and all too soon he was on the train again. The long summer loomed before him but, as he headed out of King's Cross, he looked forward to his next visit to the Burrow as the feel of Hermione's farewell kiss lingered on his cheek.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Headmistress?"

"Ah, Severus, I was just heading up to the hospital wing. How is Draco?"

"He's doing much better actually. I think that final spell left us all a bit dazed. The Healers have been able to mend his injuries. They haven't been able to do much for his mental state, however."

"How is he taking his father's death?"

"I was wondering the same thing. But apparently that's not the foremost concern for him right now."

"What is?"

"Minerva, we were wondering where you were."

"Molly! Arthur! I came as soon as I could get away from the Aurors. Have you been able to see them?"

"Not yet. Remus has though."

"Well, Remus?"

"Minerva, it's difficult to say right now. The Healers are still working on them. I was going back in to check on them but I didn't want to leave Molly and Arthur."

"Well, why don't you get back in there. Severus and I will wait here."

"Right. Okay."

"Remus, can you check on Draco, too? He should be able to leave soon."

"Sure thing, Severus."

~~~~~~~~~~~

Fifth year was such a jumble of memories and emotions for him.

After a lonely summer, devoid of magical news or contact, he was suddenly thrust back into that world. First the ominous encounter with the Dementors and then the bewildering trip to Twelve Grimmauld Place. When Hermione swept him into that hug he wanted to stay there for a long time. He thought he wouldn't be able to catch his breath when he saw how much Ron had grown. But he was hurt by their enforced secrecy and their time together and lashed out.

He did a lot of lashing out that year. He was angry and confused. He felt constantly on edge, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Voldemort was so close. He didn't have time for all the other things in his mind.

The experience with the Ministry hearing made Harry face several things. Firstly, he could not trust the Ministry - ever. Secondly, as hurt as he was by everyone else's secrecy, he could and would have to trust them. And besides, he had a few secrets of his own.

The year was punctuated with some of the worst things Harry had encountered since he entered the magical world. Umbridge and the Quidditch ban were so grossly unfair and wrong. The attack on Mr. Weasley left him feeling vulnerable and exposed. Would Ron and the rest of the Weasleys blame him? Would they trust him? Could he trust himself?

And if the thought of Voldemort prowling through his mind wasn't bad enough, he was forced to endure occlumency lessons with Snape. If Snape could see the memories of his failed romance with Cho, could he see his fantasies, too?

After the disaster at the Department of Mysteries, Harry's guilt consumed him. He had led his friends into a trap and they had been injured. He could not forgive himself nor could he stop thinking about what might have happened if the Order had not appeared in time.

However, of all of the indignities he suffered that year, nothing compared to the loss of Sirius. What else would Voldemort take away from him?

~~~~~~~~~~~

"Remus, wake up."

"Tonks, you're okay! I was so worried about you. Did you just come from the Ministry?"

"Yes, I had some things to finish. Any word on them, love?"

"Well, Ron and Hermione have several injuries. The Healers are starting to make progress but it's very slow. Draco seems to be fine but he won't leave the hospital wing."

"And Harry?"

"He's still unresponsive. Tonks, have you ever talked with Harry about his friendship with Draco?"

"Uh, yes, I have. Why do you ask?"

"Well, I know they've been close ever since Draco renounced his father this past summer. But I get the feeling there's something else I don't know."

"Remus, I think you should ask Harry about it when he wakes up."

"IF he does, you mean."

~~~~~~~~~~~

The summer after fifth year was the most painful time in Harry's life. He was forced to come to terms with the loss of Sirius, his surrogate parent. He no longer trusted Dumbledore implicitly. And his sense of guilt had not been assuaged when Ron and Hermione had assured them that they did not hold him responsible for the incident at the Ministry. Oh and they'd informed him that they were now dating. He'd never felt so alone.

More than anything, this news forced Harry to confront what he'd been denying for so long. He was in love with his best friend. Both of them if he really thought about it, but Ron more so than Hermione. He feared that this would be the ultimate betrayal if he ever told them. And they had no idea. So he spent the summer confronting his demons.

Returning to school was more difficult than Harry had ever imagined. He was afraid to face his friends and teachers. Would they accept this fundamental part of Harry?

It had been hard for Harry to tell them. He had spent months avoiding them, preferring the quiet solitude of the library or hiding away in the Room of Requirement. Finally, Ron and Hermione cornered him one night, having nicked the invisibility cloak and followed him. He had hemmed and hawed and nearly vomited before he admitted his secret to them.

And he should have known. After all they had been through together, he should have known what their response would be. Ron had reacted first. He stood with tears in his eyes and walked over to stand in front of him. Afraid to look up, Harry stared at his feet. Suddenly, Hermione's feet came into view also. Lifting his chin, he met their gaze and was enveloped in their arms. And he finally understood unconditional love.

~~~~~~~~~~~

"Poppy!"

"Molly, calm down. Give me a chance to tell everyone."

She looked around the small waiting room. Molly and Arthur clung to each other. Remus and Tonks stood by the small window. Severus and Minerva looked up from their intense conversation. Kingsley Shacklebolt had just arrived.

"We've done all we can. It's up to them now. Their innate magical strength will be what pulls them through this."

"What about Harry?"

"There's still no change, Remus. But Draco is sitting with him now. If anyone can get an intense reaction from Harry, he can."

"I thought they were friends now. What kind of reaction is he trying to get?"

"Oh, they're much more than friends, Remus."

"What do you mean by that, Severus?"

"You'll see."

~~~~~~~~~~~

Towards the end of sixth year, buoyed by Ron's and Hermione's acceptance, Harry had carefully ventured into his first real romantic relationship. The initial encounters had been tentative and cautious. Steadily, a friendship formed. They spent hours in the Room of Requirement, talking, studying, hesitant to explore a physical relationship.

After term ended, they exchanged owls daily, sharing bits of news and confidences. They formed a strong bond that summer. One that led to several serious, intense discussions about just what the future held for them. And Harry learned the difference between familial love and romantic love.

When they returned to school, the relationship was stronger than ever. But they both agreed, for safety's sake, to keep it a secret. They told only their closest confidants.

Finally, it was time for Harry to confront his destiny. Harry trained intensively with Tonks and Kingsley. Perfected his occlumency with Snape. And with Dumbledore and McGonagall's help, he finally learned how to destroy Voldemort. The pressure strained all of his relationships and he spent a lot of time thinking about why he was doing this.

The night before the final battle, he spent time with each of those who were closest to him. He told them how much he loved them, how important they were to him, how much he appreciated all that they had sacrificed for him, and how he considered them to be his true family.

All that remained now was to implement what he had learned. And hope that those he loved would not be harmed.

When the smoke initially cleared, he glanced around himself, taking note of several Aurors who'd been injured. He knew that Dumbledore was gone, having sacrificed himself to ensure Voldemort's destruction. He thought that was the worst of it. And he felt immense relief.

And then he caught a glimpse of red hair, tangled with brown curls. And his world fell apart.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Slowly, the room swam back into focus.

Harry blinked and looked to his left. Remus sat at his bedside, peering down at him anxiously. Behind him Snape, McGonagall, Tonks and Kingsley stood solemnly watching.

He became aware of someone sitting to his right. As he turned, he could hear a murmur. "Harry."

Draco held his hand, a gentle smile on his face. The noises gradually increased around him.

And there they were. Ron and Hermione. Each lay on a bed.

Actually, each of them was sitting up, smiling back at him.

And suddenly he could breathe again.

FIN