Stand By

    Even through the darkness, Harry could see where Sirius waited. His large form stood out against the rolling grass. He hadn’t spotted Harry yet, and Harry thought for a moment of turning and running. In that second of indecision, Sirius turned towards him, barking happily.

    “Harry!” Suddenly, the dog that had been bounding towards him was a man. Sirius reached forward, wrapping Harry in a quick, tight embrace.

    “Hello Sirius, Happy Christmas!” Harry smiled brightly at his godfather.

    “Happy Christmas to you too. How are you? What have yo…” Sirius suddenly trailed off, looking curiously at Harry.

    “What is it?” Harry asked as Sirius’s look became more intense.

    “You smell of…blood. What happened?” All cheeriness was gone from his voice as he gently grasped Harry’s arms.

    Damn, Harry cursed inwardly. He had forgotten his godfathers keen sense of smell. Malfoy may have cleaned the blood stains from his clothes, but he hadn’t removed the scent. Outwardly, he forced a smile. “Blood, Sirius?”

    “Don’t play dumb. Are you hurt?” Sirius’s grip tightened.

    “Do I look hurt?” Harry challenged, his mind racing for an explanation.

    “Harry…” There was a quiet warning in his tone.

    “Cor, Sirius, you’re going to make me tell you, aren’t you?” Harry sighed. “The whole, embarrassing story.” Sirius nodded. “Fine. I have the tower all to myself and I was…playing with…“ His mind raced. What the hell was I playing with? “Well, I was playing, and I happen to cut my arm. Rather nasty. Got blood all over me. But I didn’t feel like explaining myself to dear Pomfrey, so I healed it myself. I’m fine though. Promise!”

    Sirius’s gaze seemed to penetrate right through Harry. After a few agonizing seconds, Sirius smiled. “What were you playing with?” he asked, his tone teasing.

    “No way I’m telling you!” Harry cried, relieved he had bought it.

    “Come on Harry. It can’t be that bad.” Sirius was rewarded with a glare. “Please!”

    “Not ever,” Harry said firmly. “So, what are you doing here?”

    Smiling, Sirius flopped down into the grass. “Well, I was at Lupin’s, but I wanted to make sure you were doing fine. I heard Ron and Hermione went home for the break. You miss them?”

    “Course I do. But it’s nice to have some time to myself,” Harry said as he sat beside him.

    “Yeah.” Sirius nodded thoughtfully. A sudden, loud beep caused them both to start. Reaching into his robes, Sirius pulled out a small, plastic square. “Sorry. It’s a beeper. A muggle thing that…”

    “Sirius, I know what a beeper is,” Harry cut him off, smiling.

    “That’s right. You’re muggle raised.” Sirius smiled sadly. “You shouldn’t have been, but you were.” Sirius pushed himself to his feet with a sigh. Harry quickly followed.

    “No guilt tonight, Sirius!” Harry cried, anticipating the guilt trip his godfather was preparing for. “It’s Christmas for Merlin’s sake. Let’s leave the past behind and enjoy it.”

    “You’re right.” Sirius smiled again, a full smile. “Happy Christmas, Harry.” He pulled his godson into another tight hug.

    “You too, Si.” Harry had to fight back the tears which suddenly sprung into his eyes.

    “I’m afraid I must run. It’s Moony. Something must be up.” Sirius frowned down at the beeper.

    “I understand.” Harry smiled good-naturedly. “And Si?”

    “Hmm?” Sirius glanced up, surprised by the sudden seriousness in his godsons tone.

    “Thank you for being here for me and loving me. Thank you.” Harry’s voice was bittersweet. “I love you, you know that, right? You’re like a father to me. You ARE my family.”

    For a moment, Sirius was completely silent. Suddenly, he roughly yanked Harry forward into a bone crushing hug. Harry felt dampness where Sirius’s tears dripped onto his shirt. Though his voice was muffled, Sirius managed to say, “I love you too. Never could ask for more. Like a son to me. Love you.”

    “Si! You’re crushing me!” Harry cried after Sirius didn’t release him.

    “Sorry.” Instantly, Sirius stepped back, roughly wiping away any remaining tears. “I gotta go. I’ll owl you soon.”

    “Wish Moony a happy Christmas for me.” Harry smiled as Sirius reverted to dog form and bound off past Hagrid’s hut, into the night. Turning back towards the castle, the smile quickly faded.

    Sighing heavily, Harry wrapped his arms around himself, an echo of the tight embrace he had just been in. Thoughts pounded in his head, trying desperately it seemed, to drive him mad. He couldn’t decide if he preferred the silence of being alone or the distraction of being around others. Minutes passed as he contemplated.

    “Can I ask you a question, Potter?” a soft, drawling voice asked.

    “Go right ahead.” Harry waved a hand in Malfoy’s general direction before sitting on the grass.

    A moment later, the blond appeared from behind a row of trees. “How is it you are in such a rush to off yourself when you just had…that?” Malfoy gestured towards the area where Sirius had ran off.

    His heart thumping wildly, Harry stood once more. “How much did you hear?” He asked roughly.

    “Hmm,” Malfoy ran his tongue across his upper lip, as if savoring the taste of the words he was about to say. “You mean in regards to a certain Azkaban escapee who just happens to be your godfather? Everything.”

    “Shit,” Harry growled under his breath. “Malfoy, you can’t say a word about this.”

    A dangerous smile spread lazily across Malfoy’s face. “And why not Potter? Afraid someone will have a little kiss for your dear godfather?” The smile widened as obvious horror marred Harry’s face. “And I imagine they’d fire Dumbledore. Harboring a criminal is pretty serious. And dear Professor Lupin. The Ministry is so terribly eager to destroy any werewolves. It won‘t be too hard to get him arrested.”

    “You are such a bastard!” Harry cried. “Have to ruin everyone else’s life so yours doesn’t seem so shitty!” Enraged, Harry was unable to stop himself from continuing, “What, does Daddy Malfoy beat you? That what the numbing potion is for? Or maybe Voldemort? Gang rapes by Death Eaters? Do let me know if I‘m getting warm!”

    White hot anger leapt into Malfoy’s silver eyes, “Shut up, Potter!”

    “Fuck you, Malfoy,” Harry spat, “For once in your pathetic life, do something good for someone else. If it’s even possible.”

    “I’m sure my father would be most surprised to find Sirius Black alive and well. As would Voldemort.” There was a heavy threat in Malfoy’s tone.

    “God damn you, Malfoy! Are you hell bent on ruining the last good things in my life? Do you hate me so bloody much?” Harry stumbled, the world swimming before his eyes. Blackness began to cloud his sight. Breathlessly, he continued, “What the FUCK did I ever do to you? Can’t you all just let me die in peace? Can’t…you…leave…me…alone? I hate…you! I just…HATE YOU!” Malfoy deftly caught Harry as he collapsed, scooping him up as if he weighed no more then a child.

    “Potter,” Malfoy sighed heavily.

    “Numbing potion wore off,” Harry mumbled, his eyes closed.

    “Thank you for that astute observation, Potter,” Malfoy rolled his eyes as he took a careful step towards the castle, “Must have been the excitement.”

    “Bloody threatening my godfather. What was I suppose to do?” Harry’s words were muffled, his face buried against Malfoy’s chest. After a moment, he added, “And getting stupid…rat…with…a sword.”

    Malfoy cast an odd glance at the mumbling boy. “Potter, what the hell are you talking about?”

    “Wormtail…and the bloody dagger. Hurt like hell, it did. But you…had to. Damn nasty…potion…too…it smelled.”

    “Right then,” Carefully readjusting his burden, Malfoy looked down into Harry’s face, “What in bloody hell are you talking about?”

    Unfocused eyes met his from behind the glasses. “Should have guessed…didn’t occur to me…might have. But Sirius…I can‘t…ever…oh gods, no…damn him. You.”

    “Shh,” Malfoy shushed him as Harry’s tone began to turn desperate.

    A sudden tremor racked Harry’s thin frame. He took a shuddering breath, pressing closer to Malfoy, “Don’t let him…p-p-please. No.”

    “What are you on about, Potter?” Malfoy asked, a bit softer then he would have liked. He found it hard to retain any respectful amount of disdain in his voice as he looked down into Harry’s wide emerald eyes.

    “It hurts. Don’t let him…hit me…touch me again. Don’t…touch…please…no more. Can’t…take it.”

    A sick sensation began to rise in Malfoy’s chest. “Who, Potter? Who are you talking about?”

    “Uncle…Vernon. Please keep him…away.”

    “Damn,” Malfoy sighed softly, “I’ve got some more numbing potion Potter.” Malfoy tried to judge if Harry was still listening let alone understanding, “But I can’t risk taking you back into the castle like this. I need to leave you out here, alright? Just…stay.”

    Weakly, Harry nodded, seemingly drawn out of his rambling state. “Put me over there.” He gestured towards a small grove of trees. “Better…stupefy me. Might…move. Can‘t really…think right.” A twisted smile lit up Malfoy’s face. “What?” Harry asked, noticing.

    “Just glad you‘ve finally admitted to not being able to think,” Malfoy answered, softly lowering him to the grass.

    “Oh stuff it you…” Harry’s insult was cut off by a bright flash from Malfoy’s wand.

    “Ahh. I much prefer you silent, Potter,” Malfoy smirked at the now frozen boy sitting at his feet. “I’ll be back as soon as I can. Just stay here and…well, I guess staying here won’t be a problem. But, I’ll try to hurry.” Malfoy’s silver eyes hardened as he went on, “And Potter, think about what we were talking about earlier. I’d have NO problem exposing your dear godfather.”

    Winking spitefully at the frozen boy, Malfoy hurried towards the castle. Only minutes later, he reappeared, red faced and panting. Harry wondered if he had ran the entire way. With a wave of his wand, Malfoy removed the stupefying spell.

    “Thanks,” Harry said softly, taking the small vial from Malfoy’s hands and downing in it a quick gulp. Malfoy simply shrugged, gracefully seating himself beside Harry. The potion began to take effect immediately, and Harry let out a relieved breath.

    “Better?” Malfoy questioned, tilting his head to glance at Harry.

    “Much,” Harry nodded.

    “Then I have something to propose,” Malfoy leaned casually forward, his face inches from Harry’s.

    “About Sirius,” Harry sighed softly, his warm breath brushing Malfoy’s cheeks.

    “Indeed.”

    “Very well then, on with it,” Harry prompted.

    “I shall keep your secret if…” Malfoy paused, knowing Harry was on the verge of screaming in frustration. “If you agree to admit publicly at the Valentine’s feast I am the better Seeker and god of the Quidditch pitch…” Another pause as Malfoy watched color bloom in Harry’s deathly pale cheeks. “And Tutor me in DADA. I need a passing grade.”

    “Is that it?” Harry asked hesitantly.

    “No.” A malicious smile lit up Malfoy’s face. “Let me train you in the dark arts.”

    “What?”

    “You heard me, Potter. So what’s your answer?”

    “If I say yes, you’ll leave Sirius alone? You won’t tell ANYONE, including those lumps you call friends?” Malfoy smirked but nodded. “You won’t tell ever?” Another nod. “Fine, I agree.”

    “Excellent. I’d say we should shake on it, but, I am a Slytherin.” Harry rolled his eyes. “We shall begin once you are fully recovered from your incident. Shall we say, Monday, before term begins?”

    “Fine,” Harry agreed. Silence fell between them. A sudden yawn ripped it’s way from Harry. Malfoy cast a glance at him.

    “Head up to bed. I’ll tell Dumbledore you’re sleeping.”

    “I’m fine.”

    Malfoy smirked, “You’re exhausted. Get some sleep.”

    “Fine,” Harry spat, shoving himself to his feet. “Now you get to order me around too?” As he took his first step, Harry stumbled. He nearly fell, but managed to right himself in time. Malfoy’s smirk widened. “Oh, bloody hilarious. Bastard.”

    “Need help?”    

    “I’m fine,” Harry took another shaky step before Malfoy moved to help him, sliding one thin arm around Harry’s waist.

     “I would have made it, you know,” Harry growled minutes later as Malfoy gently lowered him onto the couch inside the Gryffindor common room.

    “I don’t doubt it.” Malfoy shrugged, a smirk dancing at the corner of his lips.

    Harry started to reply, but a sudden wave of sleepiness swept over him. His eyes fluttered closed on their own accord. Moments later, he was drifting to sleep.