A Likely Story

Chapter 11 of A Likely Story

Nervous didn't begin to describe it. Hermione didn't bother trying to sleep on Christmas Eve, and to her surprise, neither did Remus or Charlie Weasley. Charlie had been one of the unfortunates in this war. He and a few other dragon handlers had come back to London to participate, among them his girlfriend of over a year. She'd been killed almost immediately, caught by a spell that wasn't even meant for her.

Hermione found the two men sitting in the kitchen, sipping tea in silence. She poured herself a cup and joined them. "Welcome to the first annual meeting of the Order support group," Remus quipped quietly. Charlie snorted forcefully, but Hermione smiled a little.

"So what if it is?" she asked. "I could use some support now and then."

Remus smiled at her and nodded, letting the silence close around them again. It was almost as comforting as the darkness and the tea. "I heard about today's little tussle," he began finally. "Sounds like you won."

"I don't think anybody won. Harry's got a chip on his shoulder the size of Australia, and Severus is desperately searching for someone to vent his frustration on now that Sirius is gone. He latched onto Tonks because they're related, I suppose," she finished quietly, aware that the loss of Sirius was Remus' reason for sitting awake tonight. But to her surprise, Remus only nodded again, looking neither perturbed, nor confused.

"I honestly expected him to use me for that, or maybe Harry. I was ready for it, and Harry was used to it, but Nymphadora...."

"She handled it well," Charlie rasped, his voice sounding oddly disused.

Hermione smiled at him. "I thought so, but Harry wasn't impressed."

They talked of many things. It wasn't until the clock's hand pointed to: 'You'll pass out with your nose in your tea if you don't get to sleep now,' that they trooped upstairs to bed, not necessarily feeling any better about the war, or the loss of their friends and family, but at least not feeling quite so alone in the world.

In the morning, Hermione found several presents at the foot of her bed, but didn't open them right away. Ginny was already digging through hers, looking for something specific. Hermione didn't ask. Ginny had been acting oddly lately - not interested in talking much about anything, which suited Hermione fine. She grinned to herself as she pulled the book she'd gotten for Severus out of her shopping bag and flipped through it.

When she arrived in the potions classroom, she entered without knocking. It was empty, so she walked through to his office, which was also empty. She drew the line, however, at simply walking into his personal space, so she knocked on the sitting room door, practically holding her breath.

The door opened almost immediately, as if he'd been waiting for her, which, indeed, he had been. He'd been pacing the sitting room almost since dawn, having not gotten much sleep himself. He'd thought literally all morning about what he would have to say to her today. When she'd entered and pulled off her cloak, he summoned a house elf. Dobby appeared promptly. "Lunch?" Severus inquired, his voice tense.

"Right away, Professor," Dobby squeaked, disappearing again. Severus took her cloak, inadvertently revealing the wrapped book she'd been hiding beneath it. When he'd set her cloak aside, she offered it to him.

"Happy Christmas, Severus," she said quietly, trying to smile. He took the gift, looking hard into her eyes as he thanked her.

"I sent yours ahead to Headquarters. I hope you don't mind. It would have been too large to carry." He was pleased that she looked flustered as she stuttered out a thank you. Maybe she'd thought he wouldn't get her anything. Truthfully, though (not that he'd ever tell her), he had ordered her gift the day he heard that she was spending the holiday at Grimmauld Place.

He desperately needed to know why she was here. But he knew he wasn't going to get that information by remaining silent. He was going to have to say his piece. Then, if he was luckier than usual, perhaps she would give him something to go on. It was a gamble, and he might very well come out of this conversation with no dignity left at all. Dobby brought lunch and set it out on the table, and Severus watched Hermione thank the elf and sit down. Then he turned and faced the bookcase, his hands clasped tightly behind his back. As if he could eat anything just now anyway!

Hermione watched him, even more nervous now than before he'd opened the door. He had gotten her a gift? That was unexpected. Maybe he'd been thinking of her after all. 'Or maybe,' she told herself sternly, 'he ordered it as soon as he got back to Hogwarts last night because he knew you'd bought something for him.' She'd learned from experience that she couldn't assume that she knew what was going on in his head. She was just about to invite him to sit down at his own table when he spoke, his voice unnecessarily harsh.

"If you are seeing someone, kindly tell me now before I make an even bigger fool of myself than I already have," he demanded, not bothering to turn towards her. He focused his eyes on the spine of a potions text that looked like its only purpose in life was to collect dust, and waited. She didn't say anything, but he heard the soft sound of fabric moving and guessed that she'd stood. Foreknowledge was the only reason he didn't jump when she took his hand and pulled to turn him around. She was smirking at him. He narrowed his eyes.

"You know perfectly well that I'm not seeing anyone. You've been getting information from Minerva all this time," she said, her eyes daring him to contradict her. From years of being a spy, he knew that when one thought he'd been found out the best thing he can do is hold his tongue. "She's the only one who was in the room when Ron and I decided to go shopping yesterday," Hermione explained. When he still said nothing, she added. "I'm not angry."

Severus released a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. That was the first good news he'd had in months. "I apologize for listening to your conversation with Minerva," he said quickly, still studying her expression. To his chagrin, she looked vaguely amused.

"Have you thought all this time that that's why I was upset?" she asked, frowning suddenly. There was a hint of sadness in her voice, as if this was not at all what she'd been hoping for.

Severus took a moment to decide that there was no appropriate answer to that question. Instead he raised an eyebrow in inquiry.

"You never even gave me a chance to explain. You heard something that upset you and just decided - I don't know - that it wasn't worth it? If you'd only told me what you heard from the beginning, I could have explained. We could have discussed it. Instead you just gave up." He listened to all this with a growing sense of worry. This was evidently an important issue to her. "I'm not even sure how to maintain a friendship under those conditions, much less -" she paused, "whatever it was we had," she whispered quickly, looking away.

Severus resisted the urge to swear in frustration. So did that mean she wanted to try and maintain whatever they had or not? He'd never been pushed quite this far out on the proverbial limb of emotion. Silence reigned for a moment before he decided to take just one more step. The virtual sound of protesting wood filled his ears, but he put a finger under her chin and forced her eyes back to his. "What we had was worth it. I should have spoken with you."

If the growing smile on her face was any indication, he'd finally said the right thing. Somehow this irked him a bit. "But that doesn't mean I want a long discussion about my 'hurt feelings,' he added harshly. He expected that to wipe the smile from her face, but instead she laughed aloud.

"Of course not!" she exclaimed. Then, when her mirth had run its course, "I don't want to change who you are. I just want you to open up a little bit, so I can get to know you better." Any anger that he'd felt over being laughed at seemed to evaporate with this soft-spoken plea. She smiled at him again, adding, "But if I can get more kindness out of you with kisses, that's what I'm going to do," her tone playful again.

He was surprised to find that the scowl that comment brought to his face was a mockery of the one he usually wore. He was almost amused by her reference to the lab rat comment. It was unheard of. He had to shut her up.

"I suppose I can live with that," he whispered, stepping closer and leaning down quickly to capture her lips before they had a chance to respond. When he finally pulled away, his heart beating faster than it had in months, it seemed that the topic of conversation had been long forgotten.

Hermione rested her head on his chest, still holding him tightly. His kisses were as sweet as she remembered. How odd that the same mouth that spent all day yesterday tormenting Tonks could do to her what it did at times like these. She stifled a sigh, but he felt the hitch in her breathing.

"What is it?" he asked, craning his neck to look down at her without breaking their embrace.

"Tonks." Severus winced and lowered his head into her hair as she continued. "I don't imagine that she's ever been anything short of pleasant to you, has she?"

"Actually - " there were several instances of the Auror's less than polite dealings with him, but as he thought about it, all of them had been brought on by his own nasty comments. "- no."

"I thought not. She's not like Sirius, who said cruel things just for the sake of saying them." If the irony of that statement registered with her, she gave no sign, but it hit Severus like a blow to the gut. That's exactly what he'd been doing to Tonks: calling her Nympho all day just because she'd blushed when Harry told her he liked her hair. That's what he'd done to most of his students in the last few months as well. The fact of the matter was: if anyone still living was like Sirius Black, it was Severus himself. He groaned audibly at this realization and burrowed his face still further into her hair.

Hermione, unsure of exactly what had happened, simply held him. It wasn't as if she expected him to apologize, but she hoped he'd ease up on Tonks a bit, at least. After all, she'd only recently lost her last remaining relative. She didn't need to be taunted continually in her grief. They passed several moments in silent comfort before Hermione pulled away.

"Molly's expecting me to help with Christmas dinner, so I should get back," she said apologetically. "We're eating around 7 if you'd like to join us," she added, her tone hopeful. She knew - well, everyone knew - that Severus didn't eat at Headquarters. But she couldn't help but hope.

"I don't think I'd better. I'm sure it would be just as awkward as Order meetings, with everyone hoping I'll leave soon so they can enjoy themselves." There was more bitterness in his voice than he would have liked. He wasn't looking for pity, after all.

Hermione looked at him strangely for a moment. "Do you know that Molly holds dinner until after you've left every meeting, no matter how late you stay? She knows you won't stay to eat, and doesn't want to make you feel like you have to leave before you're ready to."

This was a revelation, indeed, and Severus felt his eyes widen in spite of himself. He'd never been particularly friendly to Molly Weasley, so he was surprised to find that sort of consideration from her. In fact, he'd thought perhaps they'd stopped asking him to stay because they feared he'd eventually agree, and then they'd be stuck with him. He still thought his explanation more likely. Nevertheless, with only a little more cajoling, he agreed to attend, kissing her again soundly before she stepped through the green flames of his hearth and back to Grimmauld Place.

"Hermione!" A very excited Ginny Weasley met her on the stairs as she returned to her room, a little off balance after her time with Severus. "Come ON! You've just got to see what arrived for you after you left!" She pulled her into their room by her wrist.

A huge collection of plants with deep purple flowers shimmered in a large, heavy looking brass pot at the foot of her bed. They shimmered because each of them was disappearing for a moment or two. For each one that disappeared, one reappeared at almost exactly the same time, so that there were always enough visible ones to make a full bouquet. Ron and Harry were already staring at the plants.

"I don't believe it," Hermione said. When she dropped to her knees for a closer look the plants were taller than she was. "Vanishing Verintigi!" She grinned at the confused expressions on her friends' faces. "We used them about halfway through term in Potions this year, trying to develop a workable base for an invisibility poton."

"There's no such thing," Ron commented.

"Oh, that's the difference with Masters level classes, Ron, the point isn't to make what someone else already developed, it's to learn how to develop new potions on your own." Everyone looked suitably impressed, but Hermione didn't notice, as her attention was already back on the beautiful, delicate petals that seemed to wink in and out of existence in a complicated pattern. "Professor Warrington must have told him how much I liked them," she whispered.

At this, Harry rolled his eyes and left the room. Ginny waited until he was gone. "They're from Professor Snape, then?" Hermione shot Ron a look of accusation before answering. He'd obviously told Ginny all about it.

"Yes, he said he'd sent my present here because it was too big for me to carry back."

"I'll say!" Ginny exclaimed, looking at the monstrous pot. "It must weigh at least 35 kilos!"

The flowers were all the talk in the kitchen as Hermione, Ginny, Luna, and Molly (watched by Tonks, who was safely seated at the table) set about preparing dinner. Hermione knew how to cook with muggle equipment, but she'd never prepared a meal as a witch, so she watched carefully. It kept her mind successfully off of dinner itself, which might very well be an impending disaster. As the others filtered out of the kitchen, she mentioned to Molly that Severus was planning to attend, then retired back to her room to read for her Arithmancy classes next term.

Smiling grimly, Molly set out to make sure that Christmas dinner was not ruined. Quickly, with a curious gleam in her eye, she began making place cards to separate anyone who might cause trouble. It bothered her that her first thought was to place Harry as far from the Potions master as possible. But that was certainly the first order of business.