Soul to Save

SPLASH!

Drowning in a ten foot pool, oh, how I wished for death to come. How far will I go before someone notices I'm gone; a day, a week, or a month? How long will it take for anyone to care if I'm dead? Would they mourn me, or shrug their shoulders and laugh 'good riddance'?

Please God save my soul.

Although... I know my soul will be damned to Hell for this. I'll be burning in the fires for all eternity; screaming, aching, hoping for some type of salvation that I will never receive.

I love you, my Lord, but I don't want to live. I have shamed you and my soul can't be cleansed.

I can feel my life slipping. Death is knocking down my door. Good-bye Mummy... Good-bye Daddy... I think my heart beat is slowing down. Oh yes... It's coming... Good-bye world... Oh, yes, the water is entering my lungs... I'm so close...

Closing my eyes, I can still imagine that I could see that dim light flashing before me. I can almost say I could almost taste it. Feeling my body weightless was the most brilliant experience that my sixteen year old self could have felt.

But reality kicked in and I felt arms around my waist and pull me to the surface, away from my sweet death. I had seconds to live and leave this cruel world that robbed me my innocence, and all I could do was just open my eyes and let my blurry vision settle on the face of the person who saved me. "How could you?" I managed to whisper, though I wanted to scream at him. My throat felt tight and I threw up the infested chlorine pool water.

You ruined my soul, how could you?

I felt him sit me up and I looked around the backyard, how I wanted to cry. I was still alive and the reason I was trying to have peace with the world saved me. I didn't realize I was cold until I heard him say that I'm freezing like Hell. Ha! If Hell was so cold that I'm the Mona Lisa.

"This isn't the time to be a comedian," he replied.

"When is the perfect time?" I retorted. I pushed him away and stood up. I fell back on my ass and scrapped the skin off my elbows. "Why didn't you let me die?"

I swear I could still hear the birds flying above us and the crows cry. I know I looked like a fright, but he stared me down and softly replied, "Because even if we aren't together and in love, I'm not worth dying for, Pans."

At that moment all my anger, sadness, and happiness came together and I cried in his arms, not because I wasn't dead, but because he saved me. Neville proved to me that he doesn't love me the way I had wanted, but he loves me the way a friend should love another friend.

END