Better Than This

Better Than This

By Cutting Edge

***

"Mione, you look great!" Lavender gasped.

"You really think so?" Hermione glanced at herself in the mirror. The red dress robes that she had bought last weekend in Hogsmeade did look great on her. It hugged all the right places and wasn't too low cut. With her hair up and the earrings that Victor had given her for her birthday on, one almost wouldn't recognize her.

"Of course I do! Why would I say so if I didn't?" She grinned. "Harry is going to die when he sees you in that dress."

Hermione smiled. 'Sure he will. And then Ginny will show up and he'll forget all about it.' Sighing she turned from the mirror.

"Come on Lavender. Let's go meet everyone down in the common room."

As she shut the door behind her she could hear laughter and shouting coming up the staircase from down below. Following the stairs down they entered into the common room just in time to see Neville turn back from being a large, overgrown partridge into himself.

"Looks like Fred and George's Partridge Gum is making its rounds already," Lavender laughed. Hermione nodded mutely not looking at Neville. Across the room something caught her eye.

Harry. He was wearing the same type of dress robes as the ones he had worn to the Yule Ball, though they looked a bit darker. His hair was, of course, as messy as ever. She watched him laugh at something Colin and her breathe caught as he looked over at her.

His eyes. God, she loved his eyes. He had gotten rid of his glasses the summer before their sixth year in favor of contacts. Of course that just made them even more amazing then before seeing as now; there was nothing to block ones view of them.

She smiled at him as he grinned and waved her and Lavender over. She gripped Lavender's hand as they weaved their way through the crowd.

"God Lavender, what should I say?"

"How about Hi Harry. You look good, for starters," she teased. Hermione glared at her quickly as they reached Harry and Seamus.

"Hi guys," exclaimed Lavender. "You two look great!"

Seamus grinned at them. "Thanks. You look quiet smashing as well. Might have to dump my date for one of you."

"Ha ha," Parvati said dryly as she came up behind them. "Watch what you say or else someone won't be getting married next August."

Seamus smiled sheepishly as he kissed her cheek. "Sorry dear. I was only joking."

"Sure you were. Come on. We have to meet Padma down stairs." They said a quick goodbye. Lavender turned to Harry and Hermione.

"I have to go too. I want to find Ron before the dance starts." Giving Hermione a look she turned and left.

Harry looked at Hermione. "He was right. You look great tonight." She blushed and glanced away for a second. She cleared her throat.

"Thanks. You look great too. I love your robes. Where did you get them?"

He smiled sheepishly. "Mrs. Weasley picked them out for me. I have no sense when it comes to buying dress robes." Hermione laughed and started to reply, but before she could an arm snaked its way around Harry's waist. Ginny's arm to be more exact.

"Hey Harry. You look good." She smiled at him sweetly. Harry looked down at her and his jaw dropped.

"Wow. Gin, you look amazing!" Ginny's robes were a deep forest green to match Harry's.

Ginny smiled and turned to Hermione. Her smile quickly turned to a glare.

"Hermione. Well, don't you look...nice."

"Same to you Ginny. Your robes are rather interesting." She gave Ginny a false smile. Ginny's robes were extremely tight and low cut in the front. It looked as if her breasts were about to rip the fabric at any moment.

Harry, oblivious to the tension between the two girls, turned back to Hermione.

"Why don't you come down with us Mione. We can share a table."

"Thanks Harry, but I'll have to pass. Roger and I already agreed to sit with some of his friends. I'll see you later though."

"Alright, but you owe me a dance!" he called as she went out through the portrait.

She sighed as she began her way to the Great Hall. This was going to be a long night.

Three hours later

Hermione sat a table with her chin in her hand. So far, the night had been horrible. She had arrived at the Great Hall only to find her date making out with a fourth year Hufflepuff. After a small fight she had stalked off to find Lavender and Ron, hoping that she would be able to sit with them, but their table had already been filled so she had been forced to accept Harry's earlier invitation. Of course the only seat left was one by Ginny, so dinner was an uncomfortable meal. As soon as the music had begun the others left to dance and she had been left to sit by herself.

She stared at Harry across the room. A slow song had started a moment ago and he was dancing with Ginny. The two of them were about as close as they could get without sharing their dress robes. She watched as Harry whispered something to her. Hermione closed her eyes as she imagined what it would feel like to be in Ginny's place. Having Harry's arms wrapped around her. Feeling his breathe on her as he whispered in her ear. She imagined seeing him look at her as he had looked at Ginny in the common room. Like there was no one else there.

A tap on her shoulder quickly drew her out of her day dream. She opened her eyes to see Draco standing in front of her.

"Hey Hermione. Feel like dancing?" Looking around she saw that the previous song had ended only for a fast beat one to take its place. She grinned.

"Sure Draco. I'd love too." Taking his hand she allowed him to lead her out onto the dance floor.

As they danced, she looked around the room at the other students.

It looked as if everyone from the fourth year and up were at the dance tonight. Students were everywhere. Out on the dance floor, sitting at tables, by the walls talking. The professors stood around the Hall in small groups keeping their eyes out for problems.

The Great Hall looked amazing. The walls were covered in silver frost with garlands of mistletoe and ivy crossing the ceiling. The sky was clear and you could see the stars shining brightly. Hundreds of fairies floated about the Hall casting light on them. The four house tables had disappeared as they had for the Yule Ball and been replaced by smaller ones. She smiled. She had always loved Hogwarts dances.

"What are you thinking about?" Draco interrupted her thoughts.

"Oh, nothing really. I was just watching everyone else." She paused as she glanced around again. "Where's your date? Didn't you come with Blaise?"

He made a face. "Yeah, but she ditched me. She wanted to make out and I didn't so she went off to find Crabbe." Hermione blanched.

"Crabbe? What in the world would possess her to make out with him?"

"No idea. But I wasn't going to complain seeing as it would get rid of her. Where's your date?"

"Making out with a fourth year Hufflepuff." Draco's eyes went wide.

"You're joking right?" She shook her head. "Why? I'd much rather spend the evening with you than with a Hufflepuff."

"Thanks Draco, but since you hate Hufflepuffs, that can't really be considered a compliment. But still, it's the thought that counts." He made another face at her.

"Only trying to cheer you up."

"Why would you be trying to cheer me up? I feel fine." He gave her a look.

"Please. It's all over your face Hermione. You're upset about Harry again."

She sighed and looked away. "Is it that obvious?" He spun her around.

"No, not really. I can only tell cause I know how you feel. I feel the exact same way about Padma." Hermione gave him a sympathetic smile.

"Well, don't we make a great pair? Both of our dates dump us to make out with someone else while the ones we want to be with are with someone else." She laughed. "We really are quiet pathetic, aren't we?" He grinned.

"Yep. But at least we look great while being pathetic." They laughed. After a few more songs Draco got them some butterbeer and they sat at a table a ways away from the dance floor so they could talk without having to yell.

"So," Draco said. "Have you thought about telling Harry how you feel?" Hermione spit out her butterbeer.

"What? Where in the hell did that come from?"

"Well, it just seems that if you like him so much, you should tell him. I really think that he would like to know that."

"Well why don't you tell Padma how you feel?"

"I barely know her. You've been friends with Harry for more than six years. It's a little bit easier for you Mione." She gave him an exasperated look.

"Wrong. It's because I've known him so long that it's harder. If I barely knew him it would be so easy to go up and tell him how I feel." She dropped her head into her hands

"If I went up right now and told Harry, who knows how he'd react. What if he didn't feel the same way? It'd never be the same between us. I don't want to lose him." She looked up and smiled sadly. "I'd rather see him with Ginny than that."

Draco said nothing. The sat watching the other students dancing and talking. For awhile, they were quiet. Then suddenly Draco spoke.

"Maybe....maybe you're right. Maybe if you tell him you might not get the reaction that you want. He may walk away. But on the other hand, maybe he'll stay." He looked at her, an intense look on his face.

"Hermione, sometimes we don't get what we want in life. Sometimes we take a chance and it all goes to shit, we end losing something important. And it hurts. It hurts like hell. But if we don't take chances then we walk through life never knowing if what we have now could have turned out to be something greater. It's better to take a chance and lose him than to not do anything." He stood up.

"Besides, if he walks away then he never deserved you in the first place." Saying goodnight he turned and left the Hall.

Hermione stared at his retreating back. He was right. If she didn't tell him, she'd never be able to live with herself.

Hermione wrung her hands nervously as she walked over to where Harry was sitting with Ginny and the other Gryffindor seventh years. She took a deep breath and smiled.

"Harry?" He turned to look at her.

"Mione! Hey, where have you been all night?"

"Oh, umm....I've been hanging out with Draco. Turns out that his date dumped him to make out with someone else too." She laughed nervously.

"Oh. That's too bad...Hey! You still owe me a dance." He stood up and grabbed her hand.

"Come on. Let's go before the dance ends." He dragged her out onto the dance floor and put his arms around her waist. Putting her hands on his shoulders, she cleared her throat nervously.

"Umm, Harry?"

"Yeah?"

"I wanted to talk to you about something." She stopped. He looked at her.

"What is it Mione?"

"Well you see...I umm...What I wanted to say was that..."

"Hermione? Are you okay? You look sick. Maybe I should take you to Madam Pomfrey." He started to lead her out of the Hall.

"No!" He stopped and looked at her. "I don't need to see Madam Pomfrey. I need to tell you something. Now. Before I lose my nerve."

"Well what is it then. Come on, it can't be too horrible." He looked at her expectantly.

Taking a deep breathe Hermione spoke.

"Do you know when I first saw you Harry?"

"Sure, on the train. It was when-"She cut him off with a shake of her head.

"No, not when I first met you. When I first saw you. I mean, really saw you...It was when we were in the Shrieking Shack. When you had a chance to kill Sirius in there. He was lying on the floor, defenseless, with you standing above him holding a wand. You had so much to be angry at. First year you went up against Voldemort and Quirrell. You almost died. Second year you had to go into the Chamber and face Tom Riddle and a Basilisk. You almost died then too. Then third year happens and you find out that you have a godfather. A godfather who, as far as you knew, had betrayed your parents and gotten them killed. You had every right to be angry and hateful. You could have killed him and probably would have gotten away with it. But you didn't. You let him live.

At that moment, I saw you. I saw you for who you really were. Not Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived. But as Harry. Someone who wasn't going to turn into some pathetic, woe is me, arse just because he was dealt a horrible life. I knew that you were special then.

Maybe that's when it all changed."

"When what changed?"

She looked at him. "How I felt about you." Harry's eyes went wide and Hermione laughed.

"Surprised? I don't blame you. So was I when I figured it out. At first I didn't really notice that anything had changed. We went on as best friends and fourth year began. Once again, you're handed a bowl of shit. Same with fifth year. Then sixth year began. That was when I began to notice that my feelings for you had changed. At first I figured it was because we had begun to grow apart. You and Ron were making a new circle of friends and so was I. We weren't spending as much time together as we had the previous years. 'I just miss hanging out with him.' That's what I kept telling myself.

But then, one night, I was sitting at a table with Lavender doing my homework when I looked over just in time to see you laugh. And I realized right then that it wasn't because I missed you." She looked him in the eye. "It was because I love you."

If it was at all possible, Harry's eyes became even rounder. He let go of her hand and stared. They stood like that for, what seemed to Hermione, a lifetime. Hermione broke the silence between them.

"Say something Harry. Don't just stand there and stare at me like that. Say something"

He opened his mouth and closed it again. He looked away quickly and finally spoke.

"Thank you." With that he turned and left.

Hermione stood in the middle of the dance floor frozen. She couldn't believe it. She had taken the chance and he had walked away. A tear slipped down her cheek. Wiping it away she walked toward the door. Once she reached the Entrance Hall she began to run.

Hermione lay in bed around three that morning staring at the bed curtains. She had run all the way from the Entrance Hall to her dormitory without stopping and had avoided speaking to Lavender by pretending to be asleep. She had spent the past three hours lying in bed thinking.

Hermione sighed and sat up. There was no way she would fall asleep anytime soon. Putting on her dressing robe she crossed the room quietly. Making sure that her dorm mates were asleep she opened the door and went into the hallway. She shut the door quietly.

In the common room Hermione sat down on the couch in front of the fire. She stared into the fire. In fact, she was staring into it so intensely, she didn't hear the stairs leading to the boys dorms creak.

"Hermione?" She froze. "Hermione?" She sighed and turned to look at the intruder.

"What is it Harry?" She watched as he came around the back of the couch and sat down

beside her.

"Why did you tell me that?"

"You mean what I said at the dance?" He nodded.

"I told you because I had to take a chance." He looked at her, confused.

"What do you mean you had to take a chance?"

"I meant that I had to take a chance that I might lose you." She could tell he was still confused.

"Ok, let me explain properly. Draco told me earlier that we don't always get what we want. Sometimes we take a chance and do something that causes us to lose something important. And it hurts, more than anything it hurts. But if we don't take a chance then we might never find out if what we have could be better. So I took a chance. I wanted to know if what you and I had, our friendship, could turn out to be something even better." She stopped and looked into the fire.

"But I was wrong. I told you and you walked away."

Harry opened his mouth to speak but she cut him off.

"No. It's okay Harry. I understand. You don't love me. You love Ginny. I can live with that."

"Hermione, I-"

"If you don't want to hang out with me anymore I understand. I'm not so sure I would want to hang out with me."

"Mione would you-"

"I mean, it's not as if I expected you to-"Hermione was cut off suddenly as a pair of lips were pressed against hers. Harry was kissing her. Her mind spun. And then, as suddenly as it began, it ended.

Hermione stared at him while gasping to catch her breath.

"Why did-"He put a hand to her mouth.

"No. Now it's my turn to talk." She nodded and shut her mouth. "When you told me that you loved me I didn't know how to react. I had been told before by others that they loved me, but it was always by people who didn't mean it. But when you told me I could tell that you meant it. And that scared the hell out of me Mione. You know why?" She shook her head.

"Because I knew that I could love you too. If I let myself. But if I did I would be putting you in danger. With Voldemort after me I can't get close to someone like that. They could you them against me."

"But Harry-"

"No. No interrupting. Do you know why, in sixth year, we started to grow apart. It wasn't because we growing up or anything. It was because I was distancing myself from you. I already knew, even then, that I could love you Hermione. And I didn't want you to get hurt. So I pushed you away. Do you understand?"

"I think so," she said slowly

"Good." He took her hand in his. "Hermione...I do feel something for you. But until Voldemort is gone, for good, I can't let myself love you."

He looked her in the eyes. For a moment he looked at her the way she had always wanted him to. Like there was no one else. She sighed and broke the look between them.

"Does that mean, that when Voldemort is gone, we can see if there is anything between us?" He nodded.

"I promise."

End