A Powerful and Painful Addiction

Chapter 6: Frozen Inside

Draco took to interrogating Dumbledore every moment they had crossed paths on the situation with Joely. Even with constant assurance from Dumbledore, Draco still wasn't convinced she hadn't left. Breakfast, lunch, dinner and nighttime patrols had past Saturday and Sunday and the same conclusion was always drawn: no Joely.

Would Dumbledore lie to him? Had she really left and the cracked Headmaster was denying it to spare his feelings? Or make him feel even guiltier? Draco was so desperate for Intel that he began cornering all Gryffindors he came across, threatening them with hexes and curses if they didn't answer him correctly. He hadn't received so much as a "Sod off, Malfoy!" from the trio when he repeatedly verbally assaulted them with questions the entire weekend. Even the wordy blows to Blaise and Tarrah were fruitless, though Draco knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Blaise was covering for her absence.

Draco's final attempt at hoping to find her roaming the halls of his Sunday night patrol turned out the same, once again: no Joely. Giving up and admitting defeat for maybe the third time in his life, he returned to Slytherin flopping down onto the big, leather couch by the fireside in aggravation. He felt tired and restless, but not the slightest bit sleepy. As he stared into the flames of the warming fire, he reminisced to when things were simple. But then again, when were things ever simple? After all, he was ready to give up and end his life until she came into it. Why can't it be like it used to be? his mind raged. "Why can't I have her back?" he said through gritted teeth slamming his fist down on the arm of the couch. He had no idea two people were watching him from around the corridor leading to the girl's dormitories.

The man accompanying the bench looked to his left at the female who was previously conversing with him; she was crying. Why does she always have to cry over him? he thought to himself while a small grimace played across his face. He felt somewhat sorry for her. He had never enjoyed seeing people heartbroken; but with Draco he felt he more that rightly deserved every minute of it, if that was truly was he was feeling; but Blaise doubted himself on Draco being heartbroken. The female rose up off her seating place and journeyed down the hall with her arms hugged tightly around her, sniffling every few seconds. He returned his menacing gaze to the platinum blonde male hunched over on the couch. He began walking towards Draco and said, "You know you can have her back, mate, if that's what you want. You don't deserve her in the slightest, but you can get her back."

Draco didn't even bother to turn and look at the man. "How long have you been listening?" He couldn't decide if he should be angry with Blaise for eavesdropping; or if he should be happy that someone heard his anguish.

"Pansy and I were talking on the stairs when you came in." Blaise sat down in the leather chair to Draco's right. "You can have her back, Draco, but you have to prove to her that it really was a mistake and you weren't just having it off with Pansy because you can."

"I think I more than rightly have proven it was a mistake! Hell, what have I been doing for the past two days? Walking around this damn castle for exercise? No! I've been searching this place almost endlessly looking for her so we could figure this out." Draco propped his feet up against the corner of the coffee table. Blaise rose up, kicking Malfoy's feet down and placing his rear down instead.

"Yeah well you thought wrong, and thinking can make things all the more heinous." Blaise threw his arms up. "You," he jabbed his index finger into Draco's chest, "have actually made things worse, not only for yourself, but for her as well."

"Worse? How could things be any worse?"

"She's completely avoiding you isn't she?"

"Yeah well she's either a damn good hider, or she isn't leaving Gryffindor Tower." Most females normally never played hard to get with Draco, and some threw themselves at him for just an ounce of attention. 'Twas where his reputation for a womanizer came from that he basked in, but loathed. But the one he cared for not only didn't want anything else to do with him, but wouldn't step near him with a ten foot pole, nor would vie against others for his attention .

"Oh believe me, she's leaving the tower. In fact she's out patrolling the halls right now," said Blaise, thumbing toward the door.

"She is?" Draco attempted to remove himself from the room but was shoved down.

"You're staying here, mate."

"Fuck off, Blaise!" Draco shoved back.

"Listen, you git; being as I'm your only link back to her, you should..."

"I should what?" Draco smirked.

"You should sit down and shut the hell up, you prat!"

"Make me, bitch!" Draco jumped the arm of the couch but was caught around the ankle causing him to fall face first onto the stone floor. Blaise guessed that maybe egging Malfoy into a fight would give Joely ample time to return to Gryffindor.

"What the fuck, Blaise?" Draco yelled, his lip split, again.

"I said you're staying here!"

"Look, Blaise, I don't have the time nor the want for that matter to fight you. Granted I'd kick your arse, but right now all I want, is to find Joely." He jerked his foot from Blaise's handhold and made a break for the door. Suddenly, he was falling very rapidly backwards.

"OUCH! SHIT!" Draco hadn't had time to realize what happened before his head hit the floor. He could feel the knot starting to rise and take shape. "You best hope that doesn't leave too bad of a mark!" He reached into his right sleeve and drew his wand to perform the counter curse to Blaise's Leg Locker.

Blaise squatted down next to Draco laughing softly and shaking his head as Draco couldn't or just didn't want to move. He stared at his supposed friend feeling the rising urge to beat him to a bloody pulp, but he couldn't muster the strength to rise. He couldn't even begin to fathom why Blaise was holding him back from Joely. Did he like the idea of them being estranged? Even though Blaise and his family had always remained neutral, the two of them had been close friends all through Hogwarts. Blaise was one of his closest friends in fact; but he wouldn't do that to him. Would he? Draco didn't want to believe that that separation of a permanent kind was his intention.

"Aww, did pussy boy hit his head?" Blaise laughed giving Draco a hard smack on the forehead.

"Why did you stop me?" The blood levels in Draco's head were causing his temples to thunder, his head now pounding ferociously.

Blaise couldn't tell him that he knew Joely was within just a few steps of the Slytherin Common Room entrance. So the next best reply came into his head. "We need to talk about Joely."

Draco's thoughts were stalled. Blaise was a good liar when he wanted to be. He didn't want Draco bumping into her...just yet.

Why does he want to talk about her? his mind rang. Are you, or are you not a Malfoy that always gets your questions answered? Ask him! a voice sounding exactly like his father's shouted in his sore mind.

"Why do you want to talk to me about her?" his eyes scrunched.

"Because if you continue at this rate..." he offered Draco his hand to help him up. Draco had become extremely dizzy from being pulled up too fast. He began to teeter and Blaise had to reach out and grasp his shoulders to steady him. "As I was saying; if you continue at this rate you'll never see her again." Blaise guided the stumbling ferret back to the couch; Draco laid with one leg on the couch and the other dangling over the edge; conjuring an ice pack and placing it on the throbbing lump.

"Blaise, what do you care whether or not Joely and I ever get back together?"

"Well... technically, you two were never really 'together'."

"Yes we were."

"Mmm...think again, mate," Blaise said shaking his head. All Draco could do was close his eyes, this was racking his brain. "See, Draco; you never actually asked her out." Blaise emphasized 'actually' rather strongly then Draco wanted and his glare made Blaise very well aware of it.

"What are you on about?" Draco temper was rising and his annoyance level was low. His migraine wasn't helping to keep him calm either.

"Did you ever tell her you had feelings for her?"

"N..."

"Did you ever tell her that you wanted to be more than friends?"

Draco raised his finger.

"Have you ever looked her in the eye and asked her to be your girlfriend? If you answered any of those questions with a 'no' then..."

Draco shot his hand up. "All right, all right, gods you sound like my mum. So I never told her, but I've showed her many times. For instance this one night..."

Blaise shook his head stopping Draco's defense. "Draco, you can't just show a person something and expect them to know its meaning, or at least what it's meant to mean." Draco was very baffled.

"What...who? HANG ON!" Draco scratched his left eyebrow. "You've lost me."

"What didn't you understand?" Blaise rolled his eyes and leaned back into his chair.

"How could she not have known how I felt? She's not stupid, Blaise!"

"Okay...let me simplify it for you." He squeezed his fingers together imitating 'smaller'. "It's one thing to show her but it means more if you tell her too."

"Actions speak louder than words, that much of a moral I learned from my father."

"That's true; but you have to tell her what you're actions mean as well. It makes you comes across as more meaningful and honest if that's possible with you. Women adore being told how much they're loved and appreciated. Some men think that women are nothing but cooks, maids, sex toys and heir creators. They like to be told differently."

Draco turned his head back into the flames that were now shining brighter than earlier as though the fire had been stoked. He had never really said anything to her that sounded like "love." He had no doubt in his mind that she knew what she meant to him, but, did she really need to be told? Or did he really doubt her knowing his feelings? They both heard a sharp tapping coming from the window. Draco looked over and recognized the owl at once as his mother's: Persephone.

"Ugh...I don't need her babbling right now! I have enough rubbish to contend with as is." With a flick of his wand and a simple incantation; the window opened allowing the owl and a jet of icy air into the common that made the candles and fire flicker and them to shudder. Even though they were in the dungeons, there was a small window near the ceiling for such instances as owls, or for a change; sunlight.

The beautiful tawny owl perched on the back of the couch, dropped the letter in Draco's lap and flew away immediately, not staying around for a treat or a stroke of affection on her beak. Draco decided to read it tomorrow, crumpling it into a ball and shoving it deep into his trouser pocket.

"Has the light in your head come on yet, or are you still waiting for a house-elf to turn it of for you?"

Draco shot up, grimacing with pain, placing the ice pack back on his head. "Wait, if she does know, and she feels the same way about me; why hasn't she said anything to me?" Draco pointed his finger into his chest. "You said yourself that I can have he back which means that she's told you that she wants me back. If you know that she wants to be showed and told, then she knows!"

Blaise was thrown. He hadn't really expected Draco to catch on so quickly. His mind was racing with what to say. He gripped the sides of the chair, Draco's eyes piercing his hands clawing rabidly and caught on right then to the game of separation of them to halt her pain.

"What do you know?" Draco growled; Blaise had given himself away. "Damn it, Blaise! What exactly is going on with Joely?"

"She's upset, Malfoy; why else do you think she's avoiding you entirely?"

"That's not what I'm talking about, you bastard," he said standing in front of Blaise. "You know all about this summer. You know what's happening or was happening to her! You know why I couldn't touch her without her hurting her!" Draco braced his arms on either side of Blaise, his body heat radiating his anger.

Blaise acted fast and pushed him out of his face. "What the fuck are you talking about, Malfoy?"

Draco pushed him into the open space of the room. "You know EXACTLY what I'm talking about you low-life! You know and you don't have the decency to tell me!"

"Piss off, Malfoy!"

"Fuck you, Zabini!"

And the gauntlet was thrown. Every body part was struck at least twice. Fists were making contact with jaws, eyes and kidneys; knees striking groins and stomachs. The battle raged on for about five minutes when Tarrah and Pansy came rushing down the stairs.

"STOP IT, BOTH OF YOU!" Tarrah yelled. The dormitories doors were flying open and the common room was filling with students, each one oblivious as to the reasoning of these two "supposed" friends fighting. Many if not all the females were covering their mouths and gasping.

"That's enough!" Tarrah and Pansy were trying with all their might to separate the warring ones. Once finally detached, Tarrah stared at Blaise with a look of disgust and slapped him hard adorning her bright, red hand print on his cheek.

"What the hell is going on?" she questioned, her stance that of McGonagall.

"Pussy boy thought it'd be fun to start a fight."

Pansy was pulling Draco backwards with both arms squeezing his waist; her arms turning white from lack of blood flow. When Blaise insulted him with the "pussy boy" remark, Draco made a lunge at Blaise causing Pansy's adrenaline to kick into overdrive; she was inhibiting him very well. However, Draco's anger and body was much stronger and he slowly, but surely, progressed on Blaise as Pansy dug her heels into the floor.

"Crabbe, Goyle, help me, you dolts!" she screamed. Crabbe remained motionless continuing to cheer Draco on. Goyle, however, had enough sense to help Pansy out. With her arms still around his middle; Goyle wrapped his left arm around Draco just under his chest and replaced both of Pansy's arms with his right one.

"WHY THE FUCK WON'T YOU TELL ME?"

"I CAN'T!"

"WHY DIDN'T SHE TELL ME?" Draco was still striving to launch himself at his competition. Sweat pouring from his body, fists clenched.

"IF SHE HAD TOLD YOU HOW SHE FELT, OR WHAT'S HAPPENING TO HER, ONE OR BOTH OF YOU WOULD DIE! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? WOULD YOU BE HAPPY WITH HER DEAD JUST SO YOU COULD KNOW HOW SHE FEELS ABOUT YOU OR WHY YOU CAUSE HER SO MUCH PAIN?"

Draco stopped struggling against Goyle but was still yelling. Everyone was amazed Snape had not entered yet and ushered out detentions.

"WHY DO YOU KNOW AND I DON'T?"

"I KNOW BECAUSE I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH HER!"

Draco face went blank like plain parchment. Had he been that obvious with his feelings? Could everyone tell? Why was it that Blaise could easily say it, but he couldn't admit it to himself... or her? But he wasn't in love with her. Malfoys didn't fall in love, they only attached themselves for life. Goyle finally removed his lock on Draco but was ready at a moment's notice of another possible lunge.

"What do you mean one or both of us would die?"

Blaise sighed in exasperation. "Die, Draco; as in gone, bye-bye, dead, six feet under, no longer alive, off into the spirit world...."

"I got that part I'm talking about... well wait... if she can't tell me and you blatantly refuse to, then how the hell am I supposed to find out?"

"On your own, genius, just like I did."

"But then how did you know about the death part? Is this death thing related to the pain?"

"I told her I knew, she confided in me and filled in the blanks."

"How the hell am I supposed to figure it out? Why don't you fill in my blanks, you git? I've searched every book I possess and found jack shit! I went days without sleep this summer searching and searching coming up with zilch."

"Wait, wait!" Blaise's mouth was twitching in the corners. "You've been searching this whole summer and have yet to figure it out?" Draco nodded. "And yet you had it staring you right in the face. It's not as though you don't have access to its read. That's pathetic... even for you, Malfoy. I saw her what; a grand total of six maybe seven times and it took me two days. Two fucking days, Draco! You had her all summer!"

"Zip it, Zabini and tell me what I'm looking for!"

Draco didn't know if Blaise's temper had finally gone into meltdown or of the like because he suddenly brandished a knife that was hidden under his pant leg and held it by the tip. Everyone gasped and screamed, even Draco flinched. Was Blaise going to cut him or even kill him? The silver inscribed blade glowed crimson in the firelight. Blaise held it by the handle and drug it up his forearm making a small incision and letting the blood dribble and remain on the blade. With a flick of his wrist, the knife stabbed the floor landing straight up in a crack between Draco's feet.

Black eye staking claim around his eye in the face and his lip bleeding heavily, Blaise left the puzzled Draco and common room for his dormitory. Slowly the rest of the on-lookers began to return to their rooms. Soon Draco was the only one there; he was so engrossed in the metallic weapon he hadn't paid attention to what was going on around him. He bent down and tried to remove the knife, but it was fairly stuck. Having finally freed it, he grasped it by the handle and retreated back to the comfort of his favorite couch. The steel blade reflected the firelight in a now maroon red. The dried blood and fire seemed to blend into one making the blade appear red instead of silver. Draco ran his left index finger along the blade to the tip. With the tip being strikingly sharp, the pad of Draco's finger was sliced with a small cut and began to bleed.

"Well my body is bruised and my face feels like a swollen boil, why not add another injury to my list of aches and pains."

Draco was mesmerized by the blade. What is the point of this and cutting his arm? he thought, his forehead crunched. Maybe she's a blade runner, and cuts herself? But why would her telling me that cause death? Suddenly he heard the eeriest voice speak in a barely audible tone.

"Mine," it whispered.

Draco checked the clock over the mantle to see it well past midnight. School began tomorrow and he was physically as well as mentally battered and exhausted; he needed to sleep. He thought his mind and body to be playing tricks on him to raise his awareness of the need of his bed. After hardly having slept over the weekend; he thought rest would give him good recuperation. He grabbed the knife from the coffee table where he had previously dropped it and began his walk to his room when he heard it again -

"Mine."

Maybe Blaise was just trying to piss him off even more. Draco wasn't in the mood for another row. He reached his dormitory, stripped himself down to just his boxers, and climbed into a rather chilling bed wishing he wasn't alone; he was much too tired to wash his face or brush his teeth. He linked his fingers behind his head and stared up at the stretched canopy. Remembering tomorrow to be the first day of classes, he knew he'd be guaranteed to have classes with her, or at least see her. He turned his head to see the blade on his bedside table; the gorgeous dagger having been tainted by blood.

He turned over on his opposite side and stared at the empty space of his bed. He grazed his hand over the top of the covers and pillow wishing again that he had another body next to him to warm himself against. He closed his eyes and imagined the night his and Joely's parents went out for an opera and left the two alone till the wee hours of the morning. House-elves were watching them closely, more than likely on both their father's orders, so they left the drawing room for Draco's bedroom.

Joely had brought what she had called a stereo and they blasted all kinds of music; dancing around with Joely occasionally lip-synching along with the song. Many slow songs they even danced together to. They had wiped themselves out and Joely had fallen asleep, in his bed, in the seemingly short amount of time he was down in the kitchen for a snack at half past two in the morning. He remembered the song that was playing in the room when he entered and the way she looked asleep: beautiful, just like an angel. But he remembered that anyone could look that endearing while sleeping. He pressed the button labeled "repeat" and walked over to the opposite side of the bed, removed his shirt and laid down gently and slowly beside her as not to wake her. He slowly brought her arms down from above her head and rolled her onto her side, bringing her into his chest. The feel of her hot, slow breaths against his bare skin made his body chime in pleasure. She squirmed slightly and after having settled; thinking of how he never wanted this night to end, fell into the most peaceful sleep he had had in years.

When Draco opened his eyes; bringing him back to reality, he felt the oddest emotion; he felt his eyes stinging and wetting. He was crying for the first time since he was a baby. He couldn't remember what it was like to cry, but now he knew it really did signify pain, his pain. He brought the extra pillow into his chest, and buried his face deep into it thinking about the words he had heard that blissful night....

I get a feeling I can't explain
Whenever your eyes meet mine
My heart spins in circles
And I lose all space in time
And now that
We're standing face to face
Something tells me it's gonna be okay

And I'm ready to fall in love tonight
Ready to hold my heart open wide
I can't promise forever, but baby I'll try
Yes I'm ready to fall in love tonight

I know you've been watching, choosing your moment
But I've been dreaming of that day
No one before you
Has gotten to me this way
And now that
We're standing face to face
There's something that I need to say

And I'm ready to fall in love tonight
Ready to hold my heart open wide
I can't promise forever, but baby I'll try
Yes I'm ready to fall in love tonight

Nothing is certain
This I know
Wherever we're headed
I'm ready to go

I can't promise forever, but baby I'll try
Yes I'm ready to fall in love tonight

Yes I'm ready to fall
In love tonight

...................................................

"Ron, if you stuff anymore food into your mouth before you swallow; what's already actually," Joely's face was distorting, "in there; you'll burst!"

After what seemed like ages Ron finally finished chewing and swallowed the quantity of food. "Oh shut it and eat, Joely." They couldn't help but laugh at each other.

"You're telling me to 'shut it and eat' when you put so much food into your mouth at once you can barely 'shut it,' hun."

Ron seemed to be swallowing his next few bites of pancakes and bacon whole. "I'm starving"

"Oh yeah, you're a real 'Starvin Marvin,'"

Ron looked at her with an eye of declaring her insane. "Who or what is Marvin?"

"'Starvin Marvin' is a cartoon character who was actually starving!" she said leaning across the table grabbing his spoon. Ron took a swig of pumpkin juice paying no mind to Harry and Hermione walking in and sitting down.

"Morning, Harry, Hermione." Both Harry and Hermione had big smiles across their faces. "Wha oo cho fming at?" Ron mumbled.

"Ugh... Ron, I thought we talked about this; swallow before you talk," scolded Hermione as she was brushing away crumbs that Ron had misted towards her.

"Yeah well, you might want to be careful with that 'swallowing' thing, because all of a sudden he's be beginning to swallow food whole!" Joely's said wide eyed. "Just because I know CPR and the Heimlich maneuver doesn't mean I want to use it!" Hermione snorted into her glass.

"Hermione and I were sno - OUCH!" Both Hermione and Joely had kicked Harry in the shins. Ron looked at them questioningly, wondering what they were concealing, the three of them donning big, huge counterfeit smiles. He simply shrugged it off and went back to his breakfast

Hermione shot Harry a you - almost - blew - it - look. The three of them were still keeping Harry's and Hermione's relationship a secret to spare Ron's feelings. Even with it being their sixth year, Ron still became a little jealous hearing that someone might be with Hermione instead of him; though he had never intended to bring about a relationship with her.

Harry wanted to avenge Joely for the bruise he knew to be forming from her kick. "Hey, Joely, I thought you said you were, and I quote; 'never eating again!'" Harry smirked; he thought it was witty at the least.

Joely grinned at her breakfast as she spread the cream cheese on her bagel with Ron's former spoon. "I did say that, huh?" He nodded. "Well, that just goes to prove that I never really listen to myself. Getting me to listen to me can be quite a challenge I assure you," she giggled, taking a big bite.

Ron was too busy to even notice his own sister walk in and take a seat next to Joely. "Morning, Joely; hello, Hermione; hi, Harry!"

"Morning, chica."

"Chica?" Ginny asked Joely.

"Oh, it's Spanish for 'girl.'"

Professor McGonagall began walking down the length of Gryffindor table handing out class schedules. Joely and Hermione ripped theirs open so fast, almost tearing them to shreds.

"I never thought I would see a person more excited about school than Hermione; and yet...I have and she's a Gryffindor at that," Ron quipped. Hermione and Joely only moved their eyes from their schedules to glare at Ron. He blushed a bit pink and twitched. All four of them had the same schedule with the exception of Hermione having Arithmancy, and the other two: Divination.

"Joely, you should really switch out of Divination to Arithmancy. Professor Trelawney is an old fraud and she's only made two real predictions. She constantly told Harry that he was going to die in third year. Besides Arithmancy is so much more interesting." Hermione's tone however hadn't suggested that the class of studying numbers was all that knowledge gaining.

"Eh... I think I'll give it a chance." Joely nodded her head folding her schedule in half, placing it in her pocket, watching Ginny move to a spot further down the table with some friends her age.

"Your attention please," rang McGonagall's voice.

Dumbledore cleared his throat and gave the hall a once over with his outstretched arms. "As some of you may have noticed," knowing that most hadn't, "we have an empty chair at the heads table this morning. To everyone's delight; Defense Against the Dark Arts has not been cancelled." Many cheers mixed with the groans of complaints filled the dining space. "We do however have yet a new teacher with us this year, and this one seems to be promising to stay on for more that one year." Dumbledore let out a small laugh and looked over to the Gryffindor table, that ever annoying twinkle of his eyes shining. "As he is very eager to begin teaching all of you, he unfortunately could not join us this morning. Thank you and have a wonderful start of term." Chattering began to erupt like a volcano, girls giddy, and guys groaning.

"Hmm... I wonder who he is," Hermione said tapping her fork on her plate.

"Good question and I would love to stay and get empty-headed with you about a male teacher; ha, ha... but I have to grab my bag from upstairs before class." Joely took one last drink of juice and excused herself from the table.

"I'll follow."

"Adios," she said, waving goodbye. "See you guys in class." Ron stared again and Joely smacked her hand to her forehead in frustration. "It means 'goodbye,' Ron."

The two girls entered their dormitory with a half hour to spare and Hermione immediately set to pristine the items in her bag. Joely however noticed a black, eagle owl perched on the outside ledge of her window. She gave a groan of protest recognizing it to Draco's owl: Triton. She opened the window and removed the letter from the gorgeous creature. She thought about saving it to read for later, but instead threw it away into the dustbin. With only fifteen minutes till class, Hermione and Joely exited the common room for their first class: Charms.

They had the insufferable luck to run into Peeves along the way. "Ah, what have we here, ickle sixth years late for class? Oh I should get Filch; he'd be most pleased with me!" squealed Peeves, wiggling his chubby fingers in mirth.

"Peeves, shut up and MOVE!"

"Oh... so this is Peeves," Joely said with a shit-eating grin. "I've heard some nasty things about you."

"Peeves, move now or I'll send a Slytherin to fetch the Bloody Baron!" Hermione raised her voice, but not loud enough to arouse too much attention.

Joely held her hand over her mouth mimicking a scared little school girl. Peeves stuck out his tongue and blew a raspberry, gliding away. They reached the Charms room just as queue was beginning to form against the wall. She was eagerly anticipating her first class. She envisioned back to when she first arrived in England and how nervous she was about a new country and a completely different school. But that anxiety was before she met... him. She checked the corridor all around her for any hint of him, but there was nothing. There were other Slytherins of course; but no Draco. She was apprehensive about a confrontation, she was still hurt, and still slightly crushed; but knew she should look to the bright side of this. Everything happens for a reason, she constantly told herself over and over again.

With a loud, achy sounding moan, the door into the classroom was opening. A few students dropped their books to cover their eyes from the sound of the groaning door. It reminded Joely of the sound an old hardwood floor makes when someone is trying to be sneaky. Hermione had become fed up with Harry's and Ron's never ceasing discussion of what else; Quidditch and swayed aside to Joely. Joely stepped in and gave it a once over, burning into her memory on how much different this Charms room looked from the one at Salem. Never having been to England before it suited her perfectly; she loved it. Her and Hermione grabbed seats next to each other on the bottom row.

Once the noise level had died and students were filling the empty chairs, Joely became skittish again. Harry and Ron had filled two chairs behind them and were now discussing the possible options of the new DADA teacher. "Why don't they just cancel the class?"

"Ronald Weasley, that happens to be a very important class!"

"Hermione, to you, every class is important."

........................

Draco entered the Charms classroom with Pansy nipping at his heels about last night, his incessant growls of aggravation not swaying her intrusion of personal matters. He looked over to his right and saw her for the first time since Friday. His heart dropped into his stomach, his heartbeat quickened. She was laughing and carrying on with Hermione and the - boy - who - wouldn't - die.

"Draco, what was Blaise talking about last night? Actually who was he talking about?"

Draco didn't have the patience to explain it to Pansy, nor did he want to. He ignored her and walked to the opposite side of the room. Having not eaten breakfast and seeing Joely caused him to grow nauseous. But yet, he thought it to be a good thing because otherwise it might have revisited him. Pansy finally gave up and took up a seat next to Millicent while Draco grabbed an empty chair next to Nott.

The bell rang and the room turned cricket silent. Professor Flitwick entered the room and began climbing a stack of books to see the class as a whole. "Good morning, sixth years, and welcome to another year of Charms." Flitwick was thoroughly ecstatic. "And a wonderful welcome to our newest student, Miss McGill." He nodded, some students equaled the professor's welcome, while a few others scowled, and one looked at her longingly. "Yes, yes very nice. Today we will be working on the Invisibility Charm. It is much more complex and requires much more concentration. As you want to stay in the same place but be undetectable, it's quite different from the Vanishing Charm." Hermione let out a snort of humor and Joely echoed. Draco snapped his head from Flitwick to Joely and saw... that smile... the one that could melt an iceberg, and had indeed melted the one around his heart.

"--now don't forget to swish twice, concentrate and enunciate. Off you go then."

Everyone held up their wands and began to cast. They all swished twice, many were squeezing their eyes tight attempting to try and concentrate. But the enunciation part was off by a long shot on a few students.

"Would everyone look up here please? Yes, thank you. Now remember..." Professor Flitwick began going over it again with them facing the board, many were so engrossed that they failed to notice that two of their number to be missing. Harry and Ron looked down to the chair in front of them, their hands shot up.

Flitwick faced them once more. "I will be with you in just a moment, Mr. Potter, you as well, Mr. Weasley." And he turned back to the board. "Once you are able to cast the spell, try to move around in small areas, keeping your concentration on maintaining your lack of visibility to your peers." He faced the class. "Yes now--" He pointed to Harry but held his hand up to suspend his question. "What happened to Miss Granger and Miss McGill?" The class was looking around the room when they began hearing snickers.

Two girls reappeared in the middle of the room laughing jovially, Joely doubled over leaning against Hermione for support.

"Oh well done twenty points to Gryffindor!" Professor Flitwick exclaimed; Joely and Hermione appeared to have completed the Charm.

Draco and the rest of the class just stared at the two girls disappearing in one area and reappearing in another. Twice by the end of the class they had bumped into each other.

"Homework for tonight," Flitwick sang, "practice your Invisibility Charm." The bell rang. "Have a wonderful first day back." The trio and Joely left Charms with the two girls still in fits of laughter.

"What are you two still laughing at?" Ron asked, standing in a feminine manner that Harry and Hermione regarded as having been a copy of Molly's infamous rage.

"You...you..." Hermione couldn't get out the words.

"If only you two could have seen your faces when you finally realized us to be missing. It was priceless!"

"We didn't find it so funny, Joely!" Harry shot her a dark look.

"Oh c'mon, Harry, if it had been you and Ron that had gone missing, you can't honestly tell me that you wouldn't have done the same," Hermione replied in Joely's defense.

Ron and Harry tried to stay angry but their wills to do were weakening; after all thought of the giddy Flitwick throughout the hour would raise anyone's spirits. The two males and Joely left together leaving Hermione to her Arithmancy class while they headed to Divination.

............................................................

Hermione waited for Harry, Ron and Joely outside the Great Hall for lunch. Hermione so far had enjoyed her day; but seeing the look on Joely's face made her think Joely's day was turning out to be anything but 'enjoyable.'

"Oh so now you two laugh! One week, that's it, one week!" Joely said chewing the inside of her jaw.

"One week for what?" Hermione asked looking confused.

"UGH!" she groaned, balling up her fists to show white bloodless knuckles.

"One week for WHAT?"

"I'll ride Divination out for one week and then I'm leaving!"

The trio smirked as the four of them took seats at their table.

"What happened?" Hermione asked, halving her baked potato.

"She - she -" Joely threw her hands up in frustration after scooping some salad onto her plate, while Harry and Ron continued to laugh at her expense. "She started crying when she saw me, and told me to make the best of the next few months cause they very well good be my last!" she said taking a big gulp of water, her mouth being very dry and scratchy.

"I told you she was a fraud."

"I know but.... Ugh, people like that make me wonder who in the name of Merlin gave them a license to teach! They make me twitch!"

Harry and Ron weren't exactly helping the situation by carrying on about it constantly. Harry found it comical that Professor Trelawney had finally found someone else to shed tears over.

.................................

Draco didn't feel much up to eating, more then likely because he had no appetite to even speak of; but his stomach was craving for nourishment; his body screaming for sleep. Having not done very much of either the past three days, he left the Slytherin Common Room for the Great Hall to try and fill himself with something nutritious. Within a few feet of the Great Hall doors the smell of food was dizzying him. Maybe I've caught something? he told himself. He turned around slowly on his heel and headed for the infirmary. Surprisingly, his exact situation reminded him of his favorite song Joely had introduced him to....

How can you see into my eyes like open doors?

Leading you down into my core, where I've become so numb

Without a soul, my spirit sleeping somewhere cold

Until you find it there and lead it back home

(Wake me up)

Wake me up inside

(I can't wake up)

Wake me up inside

(Save me)

Call my name and save me from the dark

(Wake me up)

Bid my blood to run

(I can't wake up)

Before I come undone

(Save me)

Save me from the nothing I've become

Now that I know what I'm without

You can't just leave me

Breathe into me and make me real

Bring me to life

(Wake me up)

Wake me up inside

(I can't wake up)

Wake me up inside

(Save me)

Call my name and save me from the dark

(Wake me up)

Bid my blood to run

(I can't wake up)

Before I come undone

(Save me)

Save me from the nothing I've become

(Bring me to life)

I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside

(Bring me to life)

Frozen inside without your touch, without your love

Darling only you are the life among the dead

All this time I can't believe I couldn't see

Kept in the dark, but you were there in front of me

I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems

Got to open my eyes to everything

Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul

Don't let me die here

There must be something wrong

Bring me to life

(Wake me up)

Wake me up inside

(I can't wake up)

Wake me up inside

(Save me)

Call my name and save me from the dark

(Wake me up)

Bid my blood to run

(I can't wake up)

Before I come undone

(Save me)

Save me from the nothing I've become

(Bring me to life)

I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside

(Bring me to life)

"Mr. Malfoy, you look dreadful! Lay down and I'll see what I can do for you." Madam Pomfrey looked worried at the abnormal paleness of him. Even though the bed was horribly uncomfortable, he felt the sudden urge to sleep, but willed himself to stay awake.

Madam Pomfrey performed a few spells and checked him for a fever. One spell in particular was sending black, glowing orbs turning in their own rotation circling as they wavered up and down his body. After a few minutes the spheres of energy began to dance just above his abdomen. The once black onyx shaded orbs glowed white then red, and disappeared with a flash.

Madam Pomfrey began tapping her foot with her hands on her hips looking very angered. "Mr. Malfoy, how long has it been since you have eaten?"

Draco shrugged; he didn't really care.

"Another day of this deprivation on your system and you would have collapsed, young man!"

"Oh stop fretting, woman, I'm fine!"

"Fine...fine you say! Mr. Malfoy, you are deathly malnourished and your body is incredibly weak! I'm sending for some food and you will stay here, eat, and then go right to sleep. You will not be leaving until I am satisfied that you are well! Is that understood?"

Draco nodded.

"Good. Because I wouldn't have taken no for an answer. What classes do you have this afternoon? I must write your professors; you will not be attending."

"Care of Magical Creatures and Potions." Draco's eyes were beginning to droop, but he wouldn't allow himself to slumber just yet. Madam Pomfrey left into her office and returned five minutes later with a bottle carved from black tourmaline and smoke billowing out the top. At this point he didn't really care what it was; he just wanted to stop feeling this way.

She poured the smoking liquid into a glass and handed it to him. The liquid was smelling as bad if not worse than he had expected. He took the glass and stared at its contents. The glistening liquid was a whirlwind of red and gold. Red and gold? A red and gold potion to heal problems caused by red and gold.

"What's this for?" he asked, his nose scrunched.

"It's for your heart, Mr. Malfoy. Trust me. Now drink up, your food will be here shortly."

His heart? What is that supposed to mean? What's this going to do to me? he asked himself after gulping it down. Surprisingly it tasted like a cinnamon candy stick and went down rather easily. Shortly after two house-elves arrived carrying two platters of food.

"Now, Mr. Malfoy, you will eat every bite and then go right to sleep!"

The potion had done wonders for him. He was no longer feeling frozen and numb, and he was now famished. He took one look at the food before him and his stomach roared in anticipation of being satisfied. It didn't take long for him to polish off the plates and fall into the long awaiting sleep.

He slowly began to rouse to familiar voices. He could see the glowing and changing angle light of the lit candles through his eyelids, thinking that it must be dark. One of the female voices shrieked and Draco's insides cringed.

"Oh my poor baby! He's going to all right, isn't he?"

"Of course, dear, but he needs his rest."

Draco was mentally praising Madam Pomfrey for shooing Pansy. He heard her footsteps struggling against leaving but they suddenly stopped -

Pansy's voice shrilled out speaking, "What are you doing here?"

"Don't you have a water bowl to clean?"

Draco knew that voice; he jerked his eyes open and noticed that it was in fact dark; the clock on the wall reading a quarter of eight.

"Ah yes, Miss McGill, what can I do for you?"

"Um... nothing thanks, I came to see Draco."

His heart fluttered, they may be in the infirmary but hey, if this was going to result in their friendship being reinstated then so be it. Now wasn't the time to be picky. YES! his body screamed. She walked around the curtain to see him looking... better, even with a black eye.

"Hey."

"Hey you, how're you feeling?"

"Better thanks." Joely only nodded to his response. "What're you doing here?" Draco was silently praying that the air was going to be cleared by the time she left.

"Oh..." Joely took one look at him and her insides crumbled, she was missing him, she was hurting inside. This was deep emotional stress. Yes everyone goes through something like this, but even though she had known this before, this... this was hitting her iron hard. "I came to bring you this," she replied, handing over several pieces of parchment and his Potion books.

"What's this?"

"My notes and your homework. You and I are partners in Potions."

"Oh." Draco had been hoping for more. He stared into her entrancing eyes and everything that had made him miserable came flooding back like a hurricane. Everything he had done came crashing down on him.

"Okay... try to contain your enthusiasm here." She crossed her arms. "Well I better go, I have homework."

She stood still for a few seconds and Draco looked her up and down. The bulky school uniform did nothing for the figure he knew to be underneath the numerous materials. But with her skirt being a little under mid-thigh, it showed off those legs he loved. She turned around from his bed to leave when -

"Joely, wait."

She didn't want to do this. Couldn't he see that she was hurting enough as it is, she didn't need him to clarify what had happened. I don't want to do this; I don't want to do this! Why can't he just drop it and move on? Her mind was telling her to walk away but her heart was screaming at her to give him a chance. She didn't think she could take losing like this again. Sure it wasn't the same kind of loss, but it would sure feel just as bad. She was afraid this might result in her occupying a bed along side him that night. But most of all she cowered at how demanding his tone was.

She finally turned around to face him, though not making eye contact. "Hmm?"

"I know you're mad and I don't -"

"No, Draco, I'm not mad."

"You're not?"

"No because Blaise made a very valid point to me the other night." Draco's suspicions were gradually being confirmed; Blaise did like the idea of them being separate. "See we were never 'really' together to begin with. Yeah, okay, sure we acted like it all the time, but there was never any words to set it. There was never and clean cut, set in stone, words that let me know that we were more then friends. So therefore, you had every right to..." she was beginning to choke on her words and feel her breath sharpen painfully in her chest, "do what you did."

Lumps were rising in both their throats. He wanted more than anything to jump out of bed, hold her tight and kiss away both their pain, but his legs weren't responding.

"Joely..."

"No, Draco, please, you're not well, and I don't want to go through this anymore. But really, I'm not mad at you. I'm just... hurt. I feel like I've lost a huge part of myself again." She wanted to scream at him for what he did. She wanted to cry and most of all she wanted him back. How do you get something back you never had in the first place? Tears were becoming increasingly heavy and she fought with all her strength to restrain them, but of course failed and one plummeted from each eye.

Draco wished he could wipe away the salty drops, but it poisoned him to think that those tears that were his fault. He wanted to tell her that he knew some of what she was going through over the summer. He wanted to tell her about his and Blaise's conversation, but didn't want her to know that Blaise hadn't entirely upheld his promise of holding her secrets. He wanted to shout how he felt about her through the rooftops but he couldn't. Was it because of the threat of death or was it because he just couldn't admit it? Once again his implanted Malfoy pride was the deciding factor.

"But..." she said casting aside the tears, "anyways I have to go, I've got homework. See you, Malfoy."

Draco was maimed; she had called him Malfoy. He slumped down into his bed and wallowed in self pity. So lost in thought he hadn't notice Madam Pomfrey take a seat on the bed holding a glass out to him. He stared into it; the same swirling red and gold liquid.

"Drink up; you'll feel better soon. It'll all be over soon," she said tapping his leg.