Harry Potter and the Great Game-a-thon

Chapter one: The Introductions

Harry: Hello, I'm Harry, the hero of this piece of masterful writing. You might remember me from such heroics as 'Dude, Where's my Philosophers stone?' or 'Someone's in the Chamber of Secrets with a giant killer Basilisk!'. Today, I will of course be saving someone at the very last minute with the help of my sidekicks...I mean friends, Ron and Hermione.

Ron: *jumping up and down* Look at me! Look at me! I got in before Hermione!

Hermione folds her arms and sticks her nose into the air

Hermione: Ron that is sooooo immature! Besides...I get to talk longer! I'm Hermione, the sexy side kick of Harry Potter, with my huge bushy hair and teeth a beaver would be jealous of....come on! How could you not find that sexy?! Anyway, I'm the brains of this trio obviously, I mean, look at these two! You can just tell they'll never read 'Hogwarts, a history'.

Ron: Sooo sorry, Her-mo-ninny! Ok, my turn, I'm Ron and...

Harry: Sorry Ron, no time...

Ron: *mumbles* I never get to talk, no one pays any attention to me...why I oughtta...

Harry: *talking over the top of Ron* There could be someone needing my...I mean....our, yeah, our help at this very minute! To the bat mobile!

Hermione and Ron exchange confused looks

Ron: Ah...Harry...What's a bat mobile?

Harry: Oh...nothing...just something I was trying out. I'll be going on a journey of self-discovery throughout this epic saga, a journey where I search for the perfect saying, or as some may call it, catch phrase, that suits me. I mean, every hero has a catch phrase...*pout*....I really want one. Well, come on, everyone under the invisibility cloak...uh Hermione, you can be next to me.

Ron: Oh no way! She was next to you last time! It's my turn! My turn I tells you, my turn!

Ron rushes over to Hermione and attaches himself to her with a pair of pink fluffy handcuffs

Hermione: *beaming* Look guys, I can be next to both of you. I'm so flattered that you both want to be next to me...

Harry: Uh Hermione, I just thought that since you had the flash light, you should go in the middle.

Hermione: Then why has Ron handcuffed himself to me?

Ron: Harry smells really bad. *whispers* He's half French.

Hermione wheels around to stare at Harry with a sorrowful look

Hermione: *gasp* Oh Harry...I'm so sorry, I never knew...

Harry: Tell people a mystical scar on your forehead hurts and they say 'whatever'; tell them you're part French and watch the sympathy roll in.

Ron: Let's just go, someone is bound to come down those stairs any second now.

Harry: No they won't, not until we have just covered ourselves with the invisibility cloak...or when we're half way through the portrait hole. You know how these plot lines go.

Hermione: Ok, Ron, you can un-handcuff me now...I'll go in the middle, I have no sense of smell due to the fact that I inhale copious amounts of toxic fumes, from all the time I spend in the dungeons doing extra credit assignments with Professor Snape...in the dungeons...and Snape...

Hermione has come over all dazed and dreamy like

Ron: Uh yeah...about that handcuff thing. I sorta lost the keys...*whispers to himself* intentionally, hahaha.

Hermione: Well, I guess it could be worse....can't really think how at the moment...

Harry: Guys...I'm going withouuut yooou...

Ron: Harry...I can't see you! Oh no...I'm blind!

Harry jumps out from underneath the invisibility cloak

Harry: Hey presto!

Ron: Yay! Do it again, do it again!

Hermione: Ron, you've seen him do this like, how many times?

Ron: Yeah I know...it's still cool.

Harry: Guys...this chapter is ending...quick, say something cool so that the readers will come back!

Ron: Uhhh...

Hermione: Harry, you know Ron isn't good at improvising. So I'll say something. Um...Ron is a stinky poo poo head!

Ron: Hey! I soo am not....I may be handsome...dashing...debonair...did I mention handsome? Nothing stinky poo poo head about me whatsoever.

Harry: You just had to lend him 'James Bond', didn't you.

Hermione: Sue me, at least it widened his vocabulary.

Harry: Yeah, except for that week where all he said was "Weasley, Ronald Weasley...license to dance!" and then....I'm sorry, I can't go on...

Harry has broken down sobbing like a baby. This would be the perfect time for Draco Malfoy to make an appearance...however he is fast asleep in his Slytherin dorm room dreaming of puppies and sandcastle competitions

Hermione: It's ok Harry, I remember...I try to forget...the dancing...oh god the dancing.....and the nightmares....Ron was lucky, Dumbledore erased his memory, wish he had erased mine...

Ron: Huh? What? Did someone say I could dance? Let's see...I can try the snoopy dance...and finish off with a flip half twist summersault landing to moonwalk out the door...

Harry and Hermione: NOOO!!

Harry: No dancing! *hugs his knees and rocks back and forth, muttering 'He won't dance, he won't dance...'*

Suddenly the author, noticing that her characters seemed to have wandered off the topic a bit, appears out of thin air. In order to make herself more impressive she has appeared as a stereotypical super hero by the name of....drum roll please.....Fantastic Writer Chick!

Fantastic Writer Chick: *clears throat* Excuse me, ending chapter...ring a bell?

All three: *amazement* Fantastic Writer Chick!

Harry: Oh yeah, right, enticing readers to come back and all that.....um...something cool...ok...hey readers! Come back and....and....I'll introduce a really great plot line to the story in the next chapter...I know, someone will die! How's that, Fantastic Writer Chick?

Fantastic Writer Chick: Oh great, now I gotta figure out how to kill someone? Hey...that's not a bad idea...ok, it's a done deal!

With that Fantastic Writer Chick dons a red cape and flies off out the window and into the starry night sky

Hermione: Well, there we go then, one chapter done...I do hope we made an impression on someone. You know Ron, these pink fluffy handcuffs are really nice and soft on my skin...so...

Ron: Sensual?

Hermione: That better be your wand, Ronald Weasley.

Ron: *cheeky* Oh...it is...*devilish grin*

And here we end this chapter dear reader. You have been introduced to our three main characters and their....charming...quirks. The setting is set, a plot line so juicy and tender you'll be tempted to eat it. Stay tuned for another exciting chapter of 'Scar head and the twerps'! Ummm...title prone to change.