Heads I Like Him, Tails I Love Him

Slytherin Dorms and Common Room

Blaise Zabini reluctantly gave up fighting his rapidly awakening psyche. Try as he might, a lie-in this morning was not going to be on his schedule. He silently made his way to the washroom, careful not to wake his snoring dorm mates.

Forty minutes later, the dark-haired Slytherin made his way to the House common room. Thinking he would have it to himself at this time of the morning, he was surprised to see one of the tables occupied by a familiar figure surrounded by stacks of books and parchment. Blair Zabini looked up and smiled at her younger brother. "Who hauled YOUR arse out of bed this morning, pup?" she inquired with an arch of her eyebrow.

Blaise slid onto one of the chairs in front of his sister's formidable stack of study materials. "The sunrise," he smirked. "It blinded my eyes with its radiance." His sister smirked back. The morning sun never shone in the dungeons of Slytherin House.

Carefully pushing aside a pile of books so that he could see Blair, he smiled angelically at her. "So what brings Hogwarts' Head Girl down to our humble common room at this hour?"

"Sometimes I miss studying down here," she replied coolly, scribbling some notes onto her parchment. "I spent many mornings down here doing homework and revising for exams."

"Right. So who is he?"

She glared at him. "Who is who?"

"You might as well tell me. I'll figure it out anyway."

"Stop bothering me! I'm waiting for Adara!" She moved the pile of books back to block his view of her.

"Hmm...a bit tetchy, aren't you?" he snickered, moving the pile aside again. "I guess it's not Everett since you'd be studying with him rather than trying to get it done beforehand." Blaise yawned. "That's okay. Everett was boring, even for a Ravenclaw. I'll be glad if you've dumped him."

"Oh, shut it, you little brat!" She glowered at him. "All Ravenclaws are boring to you now that you've got your little Gryffindor leprechaun!"

"Ravenclaws were boring to me before that, Sorella dear," he told his sister.

She gazed at him for a moment. Blaise raised an inquiring eyebrow to her.

"You're not going to stop seeing him, are you?" she finally said.

"You didn't answer my question," he replied evenly. "Should I answer yours?"

The siblings stared at each other with identical golden eyes before Blaire finally sighed. "It's Stuart," she said shortly. "Stuart Rowan-Jones."

Blaise gaped at her in surprise. "A Hufflepuff? You being with a Hufflepuff is more shocking than me being with a Gryffindor." He peered at her thoughtfully. "Let me guess. You're meeting your good buddy Adara here and the two of you will head off to Hogsmeade together where you will then separate so you can rendezvous with your respective boyfriends. How discreet of you."

"Oh, shut it!" she snapped, annoyed at his ability to read her when most others failed to.

"No," he replied cheekily.

"No? You're not going to shut it?"

"No, I'm not going to stop seeing him."

"But Papa..."

"Papa," he spat, "can take a flying leap off a high tower for all I care!"

"Blaise!" his sister gasped, worriedly glancing around the still-empty common room.

"You heard him, Blair. I'm a useless embarrassment to the family name. A shameful waste of blood and breath." She winced, remembering her father's harsh words for his only son during the Christmas holidays. "I don't give a shit about what Papa wants anymore," he continued bitterly. "I'm screwed no matter what so I might as well enjoy myself when I can."

She sighed. "I'm sorry. Mama and I tried to talk to Papa, but he doesn't listen to us either." She gazed at him sadly. "I feel like I let you down somehow."

He snickered. "How positively Gryffindor of you, Sis." She glared at him for the insult. "Don't worry yourself about it," he added. "Papa doesn't know what to do about his brilliant, big-headed daughter either." He grinned at her. "Shame on you, being so above-average! Don't you know that you've humiliated the family by becoming Head Girl? You're bringing unwanted attention to our cowardly father. Both the dark and light forces value a successful academic career."

A reluctant smile tugged at her lips, as she remembered her father's dismay at her own achievements. "He does have his priorities screwed up pretty badly, doesn't he?"

"To put it mildly, yes, but that hasn't stopped you, so it shan't stop me either."

Blair shook her head. "Interesting fields we each choose our battles in, isn't it?" she smirked. "Is Irish boy worth it?"

"He's cute and he's witty. Plus he makes me laugh."

"I'm torn," she snorted. "He's a half-blood Gryffindor but he makes you happy. How am I supposed to continue disliking him?"

Her brother grinned at her. "I'm touched. You almost said you care about me."

"Did not, you conceited brat!"

"Did too, you stuck-up shrew!"

The girl crumpled up a parchment and threw it at her cheeky brother who dodged it easily. They sat in companionable silence for a moment, playfully glowering at each other.

"So what do you and your elf have planned for Valentine's Day?" she inquired.

"Nothing. Valentine's day is a girl's holiday so we're exempt," he drawled.

"It is not! Lots of guys celebrate it, too."

"Only to earn points from girls."

"Does your boyfriend share your cynical point of view?" she asked, regarding him archly.

"Since it hasn't come up for discussion, I'm assuming so," he shrugged.

"What am I going to do about you?" she mused aloud, shaking her head wonderingly. "You're so cheerfully pessimistic. It makes me want to strangle you to oblivion sometimes except that would probably make you really happy."

Blaise chuckled. "You can do nothing about me so why even try?"

Shaking her head one final time, Blair turned her attention back to her studies and proceeded to try to ignore her pesky and snickering brother, even ignoring the snorts and stares of their housemates passing through the common room.

* * * * *

The Great Hall - Gryffindor Table

Seamus Finnigan sat nervously in the Great Hall. It was breakfast time on Valentine's Day, but the Irish Gryffindor did not join his housemates in tucking in to the festive morning feast. Instead, he nibbled on his fingernails, eyes trained on the entrance doors, wondering if the first stage of his plans had already gone awry.

He still hadn't seen the object of his affections enter the great hall, but it wasn't unusual for Blaise Zabini to skip breakfast. Seamus desperately hoped his Slytherin love interest wasn't planning to do so. He couldn't imagine successfully navigating his way through the dungeons just to abduct his boyfriend. The other Slytherins, Seamus suspected, would be none too helpful either.

Dean Thomas, Seamus' best friend and dorm mate, nudged his side. "Calm down," Dean muttered. "It's still early."

Seamus sighed. Dean was right. Students tended to wander in later for meals on weekends, even more so today since it was both Valentine's Day and a Hogsmeade weekend. Mostly everyone third-year and above would be busy with plans for the afternoon trip to Hogsmeade.

Seamus glanced around the table. Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil were whispering and giggling about some cards they had both received. Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger kept glancing across the table at each other, blushing whenever their eyes met. "About time they finally celebrate Valentine's Day together," Seamus thought, snickering at the two bashful prefects. Ginny Weasley was talking earnestly with a fifth-year Gryffindor boy Seamus didn't know. Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy were both conspicuously absent from the Great Hall meal so far that morning. Harry hadn't even returned to his dorm room last night. "Probably shagging like bunnies in heat," Seamus concluded smugly. The former-enemies-turned-lovers were known to disappear together for hours on end, happily indulging in the benefits of romantic bliss. Seamus recalled seeing the Slytherin gazing at Harry last night as though he were the Boy-Who-Turned-Into-A-Chocolate-Truffle.

The popular Irish boy had gotten his fair share of cards and letters this morning from a great number of admirers, most of whom he didn't know. Whilst it was flattering and fun to open them and compare notes with his friends, he had his mind and heart set on a certain snarky Slytherin who he knew had little patience for the sappy holiday. He hoped to change this by day's end.

He jumped at the sound of his name. Lavender and Parvati were grinning at him. Lavender was waving her fingers in front of his face, apparently trying to catch his attention.

"A bit distracted this morning, aren't we?" she giggled.

"Waiting for someone in particular?" Parvati added, also giggling.

Before Seamus could respond with a smart retort, the doors to the Great Hall opened and Head Girl Blair Zabini swept in with her best friend Adara McDowell followed closely by Blaise and his best friend Millicent Bulstrode. Seamus blinked in surprise. It was rather rare to see his boyfriend in the company of his sister.

As the four Slytherins passed the Gryffindor table, Blaise glanced towards Seamus, raising an eyebrow at the Irish boy's wide grin. Seamus supposed that Blaise might have actually smiled back at him if several of the other Gryffindors sitting around him hadn't been gawking and staring at the passing Slytherins, too.

Relieved that the most important element of his Valentine's Day plans was now settling down at the Slytherin table, Seamus finally began scooping eggs and bacon onto his plate, once again feeling hopeful that his romantic efforts would prove fruitful.

* * * * *

Dungeon Quarters

"Zzzzzzzzzzz...snort...sniff...huh? Dr-Draco?"

Kiss. Nuzzle. Nip. "Oh. Are you awake?" Lick. Nibble. Kiss. "Splendid." Snuggle. Lick.

"Mmmmmm...of course I'm awake, you prat. I'm being molested."

"Really?" Snog. Lick. "You are?" Nibble. "Don't worry, Harry. I'll protect you." Kiss. Nibble.

"Yeah? And who protects me from you, Malfoy?"

Kiss. Lick. Chuckle. "You're so witty when you're half-awake, Potter." Nibble. Nuzzle.

Sigh. "Are you going to let me take off this leather thong now, Draco?"

"No one takes it off but me, my crimson viper. You did say it was my Valentine's Day present from you."

"Yeah. Me and my big ideas."

"Your lips say "whine, whine, whine", love, but other parts of you say "yes, yes, yes". And that snake emblem on your thong is awake now too." Sighs expectantly. "It's hissing, Harry."

Groan. "Sometimes I think back fondly to when you hated me. At least I didn't have to deal with your horniness."

Nibble. Kiss. "Shut up, Potter." Snog. Lick. "And Happy Valentine's Day, by the way."

"Mmm...yeah...whatever, Malfoy." Kiss. Lick. Nibble. "Don't we want to get up and go to breakfast? I'd like to see Seamus launch his plans for Blaise." Gasp. "Oh...I guess...not." Snog. Hisssssssss...

* * * * *

The Great Hall - Slytherin Table

Blaise Zabini took his seat across from Pansy Parkinson at the Slytherin table. The pug-nosed blond was opening several Valentine cards she had already received. Blaise watched in amusement as the girl opened and tossed the cards aside with barely a glance at them. She had an expression of immense boredom on her face.

"You're not even curious who sent them?" Blaise asked her as he poured himself some coffee.

Pansy shrugged. "Same old, same old," she drawled.

Millicent Bulstrode snorted from her seat beside Blaise. "Must be nice to have such a deeply devoted fan following."

"Devoted, my arse," Pansy said, sneering. "The day I'm impressed by the conjuring up of cheap cards declaring undying devotion once a year is the same day they can re-sort me into Hufflepuff House." Blaise and the other girls around them snickered. Imagining Pansy swooning over cards was as funny as imagining Pansy amongst the Hufflepuffs.

"Watch it, darling," Tiffany Somersby purred. "Your admirers are going to start sobbing in their waffles at your callous treatment of their efforts." Pansy yawned in response, drawing further snickers and snorts.

"Tsk," Blaise commented as he reached for a slice of buttered toast. "A bit young for the Harem to be so jaded about love." The best, brightest, prettiest and most popular girls in Slytherin House were referred to as the Harem, a designation not appreciated or understood by the other Houses.

"I'm not jaded," Morag McDougall said with a toss of her chestnut brown curls. "I'm just a lot more expensive than most." She poked a sticky fork at her stack of cards sitting beside her plate of waffles. "I don't see any presents in these now, do I?"

Millicent glared at the small pile of cards sitting on her own plate. She brushed them off and began scooping waffles, cream and berries onto the plate.

Blaise chuckled. "Ma dai, Bully," he told his burly best friend. "Cards got in the way of your meal?"

"Don't get smart with me, Zabini," she growled. "I saw that bunch of cards you slipped into your pocket."

He brought the stack back out onto the table. "I have nothing to hide. I know who they're from already." He flipped through the envelopes one by one without opening them. "This one's from Arayana. This one's from Lucille. This one's from Estella. This one's..."

He was interrupted by Millicent grabbing the stack and stuffing them back into his pocket. "We get the message, you smart arse," she said, snorting. "Now put that mouth of yours to better use and eat your bloody breakfast." The other girls snickered while Blaise smirked at her.

"What about your happy little boyfriend?" Tiffany asked him with a wicked smile.

"What about my happy little boyfriend?" Blaise drawled, spreading jam onto his toast.

"Aren't any of those cards from him?" Morag asked, nudging him.

Blaise snorted. "I think he knows better than that. And no, thankfully none of the cards are from him."

"Careful there, me boy," Morag warned him. "He's a Gryffindor and they can be even worse about Valentine's Day than Hufflepuffs."

"She's got a point there, Blaise," Pansy agreed. "To them, it's practically a matter of honor."

"You exaggerate," he replied, taking a bite of his toast. "Who the hell takes a silly holiday so seriously anyway?"

As the owls swept in with the morning post, Pansy watched with interest as a large owl bearing a basket headed in their direction. "Well, someone on our table better take it seriously," she said blandly. "I see a very serious Valentine coming our way."

They all looked up curiously at the approaching owl and his load. Blaise and the girls all jumped as the owl landed in front of them with a thump. The dark-haired boy stared in horror as the feathered messenger hopped in front of him, standing expectantly beside the basket.

"Uh...Blaise," Pansy murmured, suppressing her laughter with enormous effort. "You've got mail."

"Thanks Pansy," Blaise ground out. "I think I would've worked that out eventually." He tried to ignore the fact that practically the entire Slytherin table was staring at him and his basket. His older sister, Blair, was smirking at him from her seat with the seventh years.

"Maybe it's from your mum," Millicent said, also holding back laughter while tossing bits of toast to the owl. She knew very well that her friend's mother didn't send her son treats in a basket.

"Go on, man," Morag drawled as the owl flew off.. "Take a look at what y'got there."

"I don't want to."

"Oh, stop being silly," Tiffany said, waving her hand. "C'mon, Blaise. We'll all look with you."

Blaise and his friends all cautiously leaned towards the basket, peering inside, with Millicent using her wand to poke aside the red cloth covering the contents. She gasped. "Strawberries! Your favorites," she told Blaise in astonishment. "By Salazar, they're huge!"

Unwillingly, Blaise felt his mouth water at the sight of the big juicy berries. "Who the hell...?" he muttered, trying to take his eyes off the lovely sight on the table in front of him.

Pansy reached in and pulled out a card. "Your answer's probably in here." She smiled sweetly at him. "But I'd hazard a guess that it's from your Gryffindor."

"Really?" Tiffany asked. "How do you know, Pans?"

"Because practically the entire sixth year lot of them is staring at you, Blaise, probably waiting for you to say or do something," Pansy replied with a nonchalant wave of her hand.

Blaise slowly looked over at the Gryffindor table. To his dismay, Seamus and all his friends were indeed gaping and gawking at him, watching to see how he was going to react.

"That's pretty subtle for them, actually," Millicent commented. "I would've expected them to be standing up on the tables with that camera-freak midget snapping and flashing away at you for posterity." The Slytherins were very much familiar with Colin Creevey, Gryffindor's unofficial photographer and Harry Potter fan boy.

"So what are ya' going to do, boy?" Morag inquired, "Even I'm not hard-hearted enough to say that you ought to throw the basket back at 'em. After all, this is pretty original." Her mouth twitched. "And custom made just for you. He had to work more than a bit to get strawberries at this time of year, you know."

"Oh goodness, Z," Pansy told him impatiently. "We all know how you feel about him." She ignored the baleful look the boy shot her. "Give him something. Look at him sitting there all cute and anxious and all." Seamus was nibbling his lip and watching Blaise. The Irish boy looked both hopeful and nervous.

Resisting the urge to dive under the table and hide from all the attention, Blaise closed his eyes for a moment to gather his poise. Opening them again he met his suitor's gaze and then purposefully picked up one of the shiny bright strawberries from the basket. He carefully bit into the sweet and juicy fruit, barely suppressing an ecstatic moan.

Seamus' mouth split into a wide grin, relief stamped all over his face. Dean clapped him on the back, shaking his head and laughing. The rest of the sixth year Gryffindors also relaxed visibly, chattering to each other and apparently cheering Seamus on.

Blaise briefly fantasized about pelting annoying Gryffindors with big juicy strawberries, but then decided it would be a waste of the splendid fruit. Why, he wondered as he bit into his Valentine treat, couldn't Seamus have been a Hufflepuff? They, at least, didn't bring their Housemates along to watch them court you.

Pansy interrupted his whimsical musings by flapping the basket's accompanying card in his face. "You just keep daydreaming and enjoying your little feast there. I'll read the card for you." Before Blaise could reach over and snatch it away from her, she tore open the envelope and pulled out what appeared to be a hand-drawn card.

"That looks like a leprechaun chasing a black cat," Tiffany commented, peering at the picture.

"That it does," Morag murmured, smiling wickedly. "The cat has yellow eyes. Could that be someone we know?" Blaise glared at her.

Pansy chortled and opened the card. "Oh, look. He's written you a poem, Z." Blaise would have wrestled her for the card except it would've drawn even more attention to their table. She cleared her throat dramatically and read:

"Shamrocks are green,

Panthers are black.

I do hope you like

Your nice little snack.."

The four girls sniggered. Blaise covered his face with one hand. "Hold on, dear," Pansy told him. "There's more."

"Berries are sweet,

Poems are fine,

I really want you

For my Valentine."

"Awwwwww," the four Slytherin girls cooed in unison.

"That was inspired," Tiffany commented. "Have you been reading him sonnets, Blaise? I sense a Gryffindoric literary attempt here."

"Just shut it!" Blaise's voice was pained and muffled from behind his hand.

"That's a pretty strong statement of devotion, I'd say," Millicent said, smirking at her best friend's discomfiture. "A pretty pathetic attempt, but touching all the same."

"He did it on purpose," Blaise growled. "He knows he can't write poetry."

"Oh, stop with the moaning and complaining already," Pansy said, rolling her eyes. "You're thrilled and we know it."

"I am not!"

"Yes, you are," the pug-nosed blond retorted. "Your cheeks are pink."

"Leave me alone, you pill," he muttered, crossing his arms and flushing deeper, ready to settle into a pout.

Before Pansy could reply, they were startled by a small pop on the table in front of them. The Slytherins reflexively scowled in annoyance and disgust at the intruder. Blaise's normally tanned complexion paled considerably at the sight of a grinning House Elf standing before him clad in cupid-like clothing and heart-covered socks.

* * * * *

Dungeon Quarters

"Haaaaaaarryy." Poke poke poke. "Wakey wakey!"

"Zzzzzz...snuff...sniff...huh?" Groans. "I just fell asleep, Draco. What do you want?" Rubs eyes.

"Breakfast is here. That House Elf who worships you just delivered it."

"His name is Dobby. You should know that. He belonged to your family for ages."

"Yeah. Till somebody set him free."

"Let's just not get into that, Malfoy. I'm not at all sorry I did it."

"Of course not. Harry Potter need never be sorry for anything he does."

"Didn't you say something about breakfast? That's a much more neutral topic of discussion."

"Oh. Yesssssss! Look what we've got. Pastries. Toast. Bacon. Cocoa for you and coffee for me. And...hey! Where are you going, Harry?"

"Um...to get dressed?"

"You are dressed, lover of mine. Perfectly too, I might add."

"Stop leering at me, you letch. I'm not eating breakfast starkers like this! Seems unsanitary somehow. And speaking of which, where are the utensils?"

"You are staying all leggy and gorgeous, just like that. And these are your fork and spoon for today, love." Wiggles fingers.

"WHAT?"

"I'm feeding you. My Valentine's Day present to you is a full day of pampering. Aren't you excited now?"

"Uh...Draco. I'd rather feed myself, thanks."

"And you're thinking you have a choice in the matter, Potter?"

"What kind of a present is it if it's forced on me?"

"The best kind if you'd just stop whining. Now come here and sit down before you hurt my feelings. Malfoys are a kind and sensitive lot, you know."

"No, I don't know. And how would you like it if I just left?"

"You can try. You won't get far dressed like that."

"Wha...YOU STOLE MY CLOTHES, DIDN'T YOU?"

"Stole is such a harsh way to put it. I prefer to think of it as getting it out of our way. You could always wear the thong if you really must leave."

Sighs. "You're a real git. You know that, don't you, Draco?"

"Who's worse? The git or the git who loves him?"

"'Love' is a rather generous way of describing how I feel about you right now, Malfoy." Pause. "Wait a minute. You said Dobby brought breakfast here. You mean he saw us naked?"

"And your problem with that is...?"

Groans. "Whatever reputation I have left will be in shreds by the time you get through with me."

"I don't think Dobby knew or cared much, Harry. He's probably at the Great Hall by now. I'm sure he's creating quite a stir right now at my House table."

Chuckles. "Oh yeah. Right."

"Now open wide, Harry. There's a good boy."

"Mmph."

* * * * *

The Great Hall - Slytherin Table

"Mr. Blaise Zabini, sir," a squeaky voice called. "You must open your eyes now, sir." Dobby the House Elf peered at the dark-haired boy in front of him who, at the moment, was hiding his face in his arms on the table.

"Go away!" Blaise replied in a strained muffled voice.

"Dobby can't, Mr. Blaise Zabini. Dobby must deliver his message so Mr. Blaise Zabini needs to open his eyes, sir."

"Millie!" Blaise whined. "Make it go away!"

Millicent Bulstrode bit her lip to keep from collapsing into gales of giggles like her other friends. "Sorry, Blaise. I think you're going to have to hear what the House Elf has to say to you. He doesn't look like he's about to go anywhere."

Blaise slowly lifted his head and glared at the huge glowing eyes of the House Elf who stood grinning down at him. "What is it?" he asked through gritted teeth.

Satisfied that he had the boy's attention, Dobby adjusted his Cupid's toga and sash. Unfolding a piece of parchment, he cleared his throat.

"You mean more to me

Than any man or lady

I'd be just so happy

If you would be my baby.

Yours truly,

Finn"

Dobby snapped his fingers. Heart shaped bubbles and red rose petals appeared and floated merrily down on and around the glowering boy. After a final grin and a bow, the House Elf snapped his fingers again and disappeared.

* * * * *

The Great Hall - Seamus' Viewpoint

Seamus Finnigan couldn't help himself. He grinned. In fact, he was grinning himself silly. He watched in amusement as his boyfriend's ironclad self-control disintegrated much like the heart shaped bubbles floating around him.

He supposed the possibility existed that Blaise Zabini would never speak to him again. That would be very bad. However, Draco Malfoy did say last night that Seamus needed to throw the dark-haired Slytherin off balanced if he wanted to get anywhere with him on Valentine's Day. It was safe to say that the Irish Gryffindor succeeded in doing just that.

Seamus watched as Dobby disappeared leaving a very floored and flustered Blaise in his wake. He knew how much the other boy hated attracting attention, particularly in the Great Hall. Deciding that now would be the opportune time to perform a rescue of sorts, he waved jauntily to his Housemates and trotted off towards the Slytherin table.

When he arrived there, Seamus saw that Blaise was once again sitting with his face in his folded arms on the table. His friends appeared to be trying to console him although they all looked greatly amused. Pansy Parkinson gazed at Seamus with eyebrow-cocked interest. He wasn't sure, but he thought he detected a note of approval in her look.

"What do you want, Finn?" Blaise growled without lifting his head.

The Irish boy grinned. "I thought I made that pretty obvious. Do I need to continue drawing you pictures?"

At that, Blaise's head whipped up. "You mean there's more?" he demanded; golden eyes staring horrified at Seamus.

"That all depends on you, Zabini. Keep trying to act all cool and ignore me; then I'll just have to keep trying to get your attention."

Blaise held up his hands in surrender. "Okay. Okay. Okay. You have my attention. What am I supposed to do?"

"Come with me to Hogsmeade this afternoon," Seamus said, smiling brightly. His smile faded slightly as Blaise and his friends stared at him in disbelief. "Uh...what's wrong?"

Pansy stood up and sashayed up to Seamus, hands on her hips and eyes narrowed. Standing in front of the Gryffindor, she peered up at him. "You're asking him out on a date? A real "let's go to Hogsmeade together in public" date?"

Seamus frowned at her. "Yeah, I guess so."

After staring up at the Irish boy for a few moments, she turned around and exchanged a look with Blaise before sitting back down.

Morag nudged Blaise. "It's up to you laddy," she said softly. "It's okay with us, you know." Millicent clasped a hand on his shoulder. To Seamus' surprise, Tiffany actually smiled up at him.

Blaise gazed up at Seamus for a few seconds, and then nodded. "Fine," he said simply. "This afternoon it is."

Seamus grinned again. "Brilliant! Meet you in the entrance hall at 1:00?" When Blaise nodded again, Seamus beamed at all of them and then trotted back to the Gryffindor table.

* * * * *

Dungeon Quarters

Soft splashing. "Are we going to stay in this tub all day, Draco?"

"Mmmmmmm...just lean back and enjoy it, Harry. You have to let the oils soak into your skin and do their magic."

"The only magic I see happening is wrinkled skin."

"Stop fretting. Do you see any wrinkles on you yet?"

"Well...no..."

"The water is warm and the oils are soothing. You're not going to get wrinkled. Now stop paddling around. This is a bath, not a swimming pool."

"Don't you want to go to Hogsmeade, Draco? It's about that time."

"I don't want to go to Hogsmeade, Harry. We've been there dozens of times. It's boring. Besides, you said yourself that you didn't want to chance the media attention."

"Oh, yeah."

"Come here, Harry."

More splashing. "Why?"

"I'm going to wash your hair properly. Now get your arse over here."

"You sure know how to get a guy all mushed up for romance, Malfoy, 'Get your arse over here!' Sheesh!"

"I thought you liked it rough, Potter."

"---"

"You're such an enchanting shade of crimson, Harry. Did I just embarrass you?"

"Oh, shut it, you prat!" Pauses. "That smells nice. What is it?"

"Vanilla scented shampoo. It's supposed to calm down wild hair."

"If that's the case, why do you have it? Your hair's not wild."

"Because I got it especially for you, Mon Cherie. I got you the conditioner, too."

Pause. "You bought that for me?"

"Yes. I do buy things for other people, you know, Potter. This is Valentine's Day, after all."

"Uh...thanks." Sighs. "That feels...nice. I've never had someone else wash my hair before."

Mutters "Obviously."

"Huh? What's that?"

"Nothing, Harry. Just that there's a first time for everything. Please tell me that you don't shampoo with bath soap."

"Um..."

Groans.

"Well, I'm busy, you know. Besides, I figured if it's good enough for my skin, it's good enough for my hair."

"Newsflash, Potter. It's not good enough for your skin or your hair. That stuff's too harsh. If it's not in a bottle, don't use it."

"Yes, Mom."

"Ha ha."

Sighs again. "Is that the conditioner thing?"

"Yes. It'll help keep your hair from getting tangled and dried out."

"Mmmmm. Um...Draco?"

"Yes, love?"

"Are we almost done?"

"What? I thought you were enjoying the shampoo."

"I am. It's just that...well...I'm getting kind of...er...excited."

"Well, why didn't you say so before?" Soft splashing. "I love it when you initiate sex, Harry. I can't believe you're still so bashful about it. No wonder all your friends think I force myself on you."

"I don't tell them that."

"I know, but they assume."

"I don't care what they assume, Draco. It's none of their business anyway."

"True, my little vanilla bonbon."

More splashing. "Vanilla bonbon?"

"Mmhmm. You're delicious like one right now."

Blush. "Well, stop yapping, dragon boy, before I get unexcited."

Smirks. "Not a chance with me around, bonbon."

"Modest much, Draco?"

"Of course. Malfoys are very modest."

Coughs vigorously. "I haven't met those Malfoys."

"Shut it, Potter!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah! Make me!" Gasps. "Oooohh..."

Smirks. "As you wish, bonbon!"

TBC