Heads I Like Him, Tails I Love Him

Heads I Like Him, Tails I Love Him

Seamus Finnigan had himself a dilemma. Granted, his dilemmas tended to be of the small-scale variety. Nothing life-threatening, earth shattering, universe shifting or Dark Lord related as say, a "Harry Potter" sized dilemma would be. Those usually required a great deal of blood, guts, fear, fighting, sacrifice and an army of witches and wizards and a whole lot of magic to deal with. No, Seamus liked his problems small, localized and manageable and this one definitely fell into that category.

It was Thursday evening, two days before Valentine's Day, when scores of young men were, like Seamus, pondering ways in which to impress (or attract) their sweetheart. The Irish lad had three problems with this. First, his sweetheart this time was a guy, which presented a whole new set of challenges. Second, his sweetheart was a Slytherin, which meant he really wasn't very sweet. Finally, he couldn't be sure that said sweetheart was truly HIS sweetheart since this was not an issue that came up in normal everyday conversation.

Blaise Zabini, his male-Slytherin-maybe-sweetheart, was a bit of an enigma and a challenge to the Gryffindor, who was normally very skilled and successful at the game of love and flirtation. Seamus had been very popular with girls from a very early age. He was already flirting with and dating them when he started at Hogwarts. Almost two years ago, he had his first fling with a boy. This had happened during the summer following his fourth year. Since then, he happily dated whoever struck his fancy, regardless of gender. Some thought of this as Seamus' "coming out." However, in order to "come out" one must have "gone in" to hide something and the gregarious young man never felt the need to keep such silly secrets, from himself or his schoolmates. He just liked to think of it as a natural expansion of his pallet of potential mates.

Seamus had known Blaise for years since the Gryffindors and Slytherins always ended up in the same Potions class. And of course the rivalry between the two houses had escalated to feverish proportions with the presence of the two House icons: Harry Potter for Gryffindor and Draco Malfoy for Slytherin. With all of that hatred and tension, Seamus had always thought of Blaise as just another evil Slytherin. Now with Potter and Malfoy happily and openly dating, both Houses were still trying to adjust to the changed atmosphere. Part of that change was Seamus's growing fondness for the golden-eyed Zabini.

He sighed and threw down the textbook he wasn't reading anyway. Dean Thomas, Seamus's best friend, looked up quizzically, noting the slight frown on the normally happy face of the boy he knew so well. "Problems mate?" he asked, putting his own book down. The two were trying to finish up homework in the Gryffindor common room.

"Nah. Yeah. Oh bloody hell! I dunno!" Seamus's frown grew deeper at his inability to laugh off his dilemma with a smart remark or sarcastic comeback.

Dean rolled his eyes. He was well aware of the source of his friend's frustration. "You're still trying to figure out what to get Zabini for Valentine's Day?"

Seamus snorted. "I'm still trying to figure out IF I should get Zabini something for Valentine's Day."

"Why wouldn't you do something for him?" Dean asked, puzzled. "He is your current favorite flame right now, isn't he?"

"You make me sound so fickle," Seamus complained. "For your information, smarty prat, he's my only current flame." He thought for a moment. "That is new for me, isn't it?" he admitted.

"Yes, Finnigan, it is. And me thinks you like him more than you admit to yourself," Dean snickered. "So what's the problem? He likes you fine, right?"

"Oh yeah. I know he does."

"No problems with...er...chemistry between you?"

"Hell no! I was sure we were going to burn down the broom closet last time we snogged." Seamus sighed in fond and lusty remembrance.

"Down horny toad, down!" Dean laughed, fanning his hot little friend with his quill and parchment.

The suddenly too-warm Irish boy grinned unrepentantly. "Uh...so your point was...?"

The other boy shrugged. "Sounds to me like you have no problems then. So I repeat, why wouldn't you give your snog-partner a Valentine's Day present?"

"Maybe I'm wondering if that's all I am to him." Seamus folded his arms on the table in front of him and rested his chin down on them. "He's never really said how he feels about me. I mean he says stuff like how cute or funny I am or how well I kiss. But I don't know how to read him outside of that."

"What do you expect? He's a Slytherin. They keep their cards close to them during the whole game. You know that."

"Hunh! Yeah. I guess."

"Besides," Dean pointed out shrewdly, "have you told him how YOU feel?"

"Er..."

"Uh huh."

"Well, I do say that I like him!"

"Do you say you like him or do you say you like him for a Slytherin?"

"Shit."

"Yeah."

Seamus sat up again, feeling his brain juices flowing again. "So you think I should tell him that I like him?" he asked his friend. He grimaced. "God, that sounds dorky!"

"If you two can manage to unlock your lips long enough, yes, I think some conversation might be a nice change for you."

"Very funny, you arse! We do talk, quite a bit actually. We've just never talked about...well...us." Seamus frowned. "I'm not even sure there is an "us". You don't think that will spook him, do you?"

"How the hell should I know? He's your Slytherin, not mine." Dean grinned, white teeth sharply contrasting with dark skin. "I can't believe you're actually nervous about this. I know you've told dozens of love interests how you feel about them. Write him a bloody poem if you're so worried."

"Oh shut it, Dean! That was just for that Ravenclaw girl I was dating. Somehow I don't think my crappy poetry is going to impress someone who reads dark sonnets for fun."

"He does?"

"Yeah. He says it makes him feel pretty good about his own life when he reads how shitty the writer must feel to generate all that angst and torment in their sonnet."

"Oooo-kay! You're right. No crappy poetry." Dean chuckled. "Sheesh! Don't tell me all Slytherins are closet intellectuals."

"Three words for you, Dean. Crabbe and Goyle."

"Oh yeah. Right," Dean snickered.

"Back to my little problem then. I don't think Blaise eats much candy. And flowers seems too girly. Jewelry is too...I don't know...intimate, not to mention expensive."

"What about a book or something? We can go to Hogsmead Saturday morning and look."

"Me? Book shopping? I'd have to take Hermione or Malfoy with me. How embarrassing would that be?"

"Good point. Malfoy would especially enjoy that excursion with you a little too much."

"Too right he would!"

"You know, Seamus, before you try to figure out what you want to get for Blaise, maybe you should figure out what you want the message to be."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning that you better figure out how you feel about him yourself. How much of a jerk will you be if you get him something that melts his icy little Slytherin heart and then you turn around and dump him because you get bored?"

"Dean! I wouldn't do that!"

"I know a few of your old flames who might think otherwise. What makes Zabini different from them?"

"Er...because...well...that is...I..."

"Uh huh."

"Shit."

"Yup."

"Am I really that bad?" Seamus looked anxiously at his friend. He hated thinking that he was such a callous cad. Oftentimes the eager Irish boy was so excited by his next paramour, he forgot about the one he was leaving behind.

"I know you don't mean to be, Seam, but yes, sometimes you are."

Seamus thought about this for a moment. "Do you think Blaise thinks I'm like that?" he asked worriedly. "Now that you mention it, I'm realizing that whether we're talking or snogging, after a while, he suddenly closes up, like he doesn't want to go beyond a certain point. I call him "the clam" because of that, but he just laughs." He stared at Dean. "That's it, isn't it? I remember he told me once that if I knew everything about him, I'd get bored." He thumped his forehead onto the table in front of him. "I'm a jerk!" he groaned, head still bowed forward.

Dean bit his lip to keep from laughing. How many times did he tell Seamus that only to have the happy-go-lucky boy laugh and continue on his merry way? "No worse than the next guy, mate," he said patting his friend's shoulder. "Damn! You've got it worse than I thought," he marveled.

"Whaddyu mean?" Seamus demanded, whipping his head up to glare at Dean.

"I mean that you've gone and fallen for the snarky Slytherin, haven't you?"

"I have not!"

"Well, look at that good bit of introspection you just did. You're not normally so perceptive about yourself." Dean shook his head. "I think he's done more than gotten under your shirt, my friend. He's really gotten under your skin."

"How can you say that? I haven't been with him that long."

"You've sort of been with him for two months since the Yule ball. That's almost a lifetime for you."

"Dean! I can't be in love with a Slytherin. It's...it's...it's...not right somehow!"

"Why? Harry did it."

"That's different."

"How so?"

"I don't know. Harry's special. He always does the very thing he's not supposed to do. It's practically a career for him!"

Dean laughed. "Well, maybe it's all moot anyway. I mean it could be that Zabini is just shy about committing himself, too. It could have nothing to do with you."

"Oh thanks. I feel much better now, Dean. Shit."

"Look mate, how about we try this? I'll flip a coin. Heads, you just like him as a snog-partner so you get him something that says "Hey dude! Happy V-Day!" and leave it at that. Tails, you love him and want him to love you back so you do something meaningful and personal for him."

"You're deciding the fate of my love life with a bloody coin toss???" Seamus stared at Dean incredulously and then said, "Ok. Cool. Let's do it."

Dean dug around in his pocket and brought out a sickle. He tossed it up in the air, caught it and clapped it against the back of his other hand. When he uncovered his hand, he snickered. Seamus peered over and then groaned. Tails.

"If you're so smart, tell me why I love the snarky prat," Seamus challenged, unwilling to give up so easily.

Dean laughed. "Based on what you've told me about him, he's everything you want in a boyfriend. He's gorgeous, sexy, smart, funny and thorny enough to be interesting without being evil. Plus he's Italian and very passionate and he does amazing things to you with his tongue. Not that I needed to know that last bit, but that is what you said."

"Well, when you put it that way..."

"Uh huh."

Seamus glowered at Dean. "Ok, wise guy. I'm not saying that I agree with you or that blasted coin toss, but what if MAYBE I want to go the meaningful route for Valentine's Day. What the hell does that mean?"

Dean pondered, gazing at his friend. "You give him something only you could give him. Something that sings "Seamus Finnigan" in big bright letters."

"Easy for you to say, Mr. Artist Extraordinaire. You just give a girl a squiggly line on a piece of parchment and she declares you God for the day!"

"Yeah. I'm lucky that way, aren't I?"

"I'm not lucky that way, Thomas. C'mon! I need some ideas."

"What does he like to do besides snog you and read dark sonnets?"

"Um...he loves to dance but that doesn't help me much."

"Hmmm..."

Seamus frowned in concentration. "Aside from reading, hanging out with Millicent Bulstrode, dancing and being snarky, I'm not sure what else he likes."

"How's about you seduce him?"

"WHAT?"

"You know. Wine and dine him, woo him, and then pounce. I'd think he would find the whole process a turn on, don't you think?"

The Irish boy stared in astonishment at his best friend. "Everyone thinks I'm the horny one and you're the clean cut one. Where did that perverted idea come from?"

Dean chuckled. "Partly from watching how Malfoy drew Harry into his web. Our poor little hero-buddy didn't stand a chance once the hunter sighted his prey."

Seamus rolled his eyes. He'd had a little bit of a crush on the green-eyed Gryffindor that was quickly extinguished by the blond Slytherin's possessiveness. "So that's how a Slytherin does it, huh?" He grinned. "The idea has merit."

"What are Zabini's favorite foods?" Dean asked. "You can do the whole candlelight dinner thing."

"Uh...I don't know what he likes to eat."

"Find out then."

"How? Do I just go up to Blaise and ask? He'd wanna know why."

"You horny git! Use your brains! And not the one in your crotch!"

"Aw, shut it!"

"You either find out or you improvise. As long as you don't choose food he hates, you should do fine." Dean suddenly grinned. "Of course you could always ask someone for help."

"Yeah? Like who?"

"Only three people I can think of who'd know Zabini well enough to be of any help. His sister. Bulstrode. Or Malfoy."

"Nuh uh! No way! I'm not asking any of THEM for help. Do you think I'm bloody insane?"

"I think you're bloody in love, but you don't agree so I'll settle for insane. Besides, Malfoy's our pal now. Since he's dating Harry, he's now our resident Slytherin in Gryffindor towers. Why wouldn't you ask him for help?"

"Because he'd play with my mind and make fun of me and still end up not telling me anything."

"Although Malfoy seems to have forgiven you for your little crush on Harry, I don't think he's forgotten. He'd probably like nothing better than to make sure you've moved on by helping you with Zabini. Besides, if you make sure Harry's there when you talk to Malfoy, Harry will make sure Malfoy behaves himself."

"I don't think so. Malfoy is always misbehaving and all Harry does is laugh."

"That's because Harry's bloody in love with the git and thinks he's adorably cute, even when he's being snarky. But you're Harry's friend and he's going to want to help you. C'mon Seamus. If you can't trust Malfoy, then at least trust Harry."

"Wellll..."

"Would you rather take on sister Blair Zabini? Or best friend Millicent Bulstrode?"

"I'd rather YOU help me so I wouldn't have to talk to any of the three!"

"My ability to help you is limited by my lack of understanding and insight into your boyfriend's likes and dislikes. And anyway, quite frankly, I've never tried to seduce anyone much less a Slytherin."

"I don't know about this, Dean."

"Well, c'mon then. It's late. You can sleep on it and make up your mind in the morning." Dean stood up and began gathering his books, parchment and quill.

Seamus followed suit. He sighed as he and Dean walked out of the common room and headed towards the stairs leading to their dorm room. "Do you think I'm out of my mind?" he asked.

"Of course I do. But you know that already. Why don't you ask Zabini the same question while you're shagging his brains out on Saturday?"

"Maybe I will," the Irish Gryffindor replied with a lusty sigh. Both boys made their way up to bed, one of them still fantasizing about his male-Slytherin-maybe-sweetheart.

TBC