To Catch a Death Eater: Love, Enmity and Discord

To Catch a Death Eater: Love, Enmity and Discord

Snap.

The picture was taken.

Gideon Prewett smoothed back his hair and looked around at the other Order members. It seemed so strange to actually be here, he thought. Finally, the entire Order of the Phoenix was together. There were the Potters looking radiant and Dumbledore of course, with that old twinkle in his eye. Suddenly somebody walked in whom he did not expect to see. Someone he rather wished to avoid.

"Hey, Gideon! Look!"

"I know, Fabian."

"Did you know she was gonna be here?"

"I had no idea." Gideon watched as Dorcas Meadowes practically floated into the room in a gauzy green dress. She waltzed over to the Potters, kissed Lily on the cheek, and hugged James. She said something that made the couple laugh and Dorcas glided off to talk to Marlene McKinnon.

"Well," said Fabian Prewett, "you would think Marlene would have had the decency to-"

"Shut up," Gideon whispered quickly as Edgar Bones swaggered over.

"Well, well, well, chaps. It looks as though dear old Dorcas decided to grace us with her presence, eh? She sure looks a peach. Eh, Gideon?"

Gideon watched her silently, paying no heed to the blundering Edgar. Fabian tried to distract Edgar, without success.

Edgar watched Gideon with an ever-widening smile.

"My good fellow, why don't you simply go over and talk to the girl?"

Gideon glanced up at Edgar and walked resolutely over to where Benjy Fenwick was seated in the window. Gideon and Fabian had always liked Benjy. He was older than the pair of them, who attended Hogwarts along with the Potters, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew.

"So, my young friend," began good old Benjy, "was Edgar Bones being more of a bore than usual, or do you just like talking to me?"

"Both," said Gideon with a smirk. Benjy smiled appreciatively at him.

"Well, it looks like someone will have to go and rescue your younger brother. I'm afraid Edgar is giving him nothing short of the Spanish Inquisition over there."

"The what?"

"Never mind dear boy, us Muggle-borns really do make things complicated. What may our friend Edgar be interrogating poor Fabian about so ruthlessly?"

"Poor kid," Gideon said, watching his little brother, "He always was too nice. Well Benjy, I'd imagine Edgar is trying to discover the truth about me and-"

Gideon had stopped short of giving it away, but Benjy was too quick for that.

"You and Miss Meadowes?"

Gideon sighed. He knew Benjy would find him out. He nodded.

"She is very pretty indeed. But don't let that frighten you, dear boy." Benjy winked, and walked away from the window leaving Gideon to himself. He sighed again, and walked back over to his brother and Edgar.

"Leave him alone, Bones," said Gideon, "If you want to know something about me, just ask." Fabian scowled, he hated having to be saved by his big brother.

Edgar seemed contented, though and walked off.

"What did you tell him, Fabian?"

Fabian looked apprehensively at his brother.

Gideon sighed for a third time.

***

"My dears!" exclaimed the lovely Dorcas Meadowes, as she greeted the Potters. It was her first meeting with the entire Order, and she had wanted to look her best, so she put on her favorite green dress.

"Dorcas!" said the enthused Lily Potter upon greeting one of her closest friends. "You look wonderful!" she said as Dorcas kissed her on the cheek.

"James! You rogue!" Dorcas oozed as she hugged James. Then she turned on Lily again.

"Are you sure that's a baby, and not just an engorgement charm?" Dorcas grinned at the couple, who both laughed heartily. "Thank you so much for having me."

"Didn't you know, Dear? You were obligated to come!" laughed Marlene from a few feet away.

"My darling cousin!" Dorcas swept over to Marlene McKinnon and hugged her as well. "I've been just aching to see you! I-" Dorcas stopped as her eyes recognized the face of someone entirely unexpected. Then she slowly turned on Marlene.

"Why didn't you tell me Gideon Prewett was going to be here?" she asked desperately.

***

Everyone said things started to develop between Dorcas and Gideon only the year before the picture of the Order was taken, but Gideon could date it's starting point back four years earlier. They were both sitting in the Gryffindor common room one stormy night in their fifth year. He remembered it was stormy, or else they all would have been playing Quidditch. Gideon was Keeper back in those days. Fabian, although a year younger, was on the team too, as a Beater. Gideon could remember the firelight framing the two girls as they sat in front of it, giggling. Well, Dorcas was giggling, Lily was laughing a normal laugh. Gideon always thought Lily was more mature than other girls her age, and James apparently noticed this too, because Gideon saw him brace himself and walk straight over to ask Lily out again. Gideon laughed at him. You had to hand it to James for being a truly brave Gryffindor. Gideon then remembered that Sirius had walked over to him at that point.

"Will you look at that prat?" he said, motioning to James, "Play it cool, and the girls will come to you, watch." Sirius commenced his demonstration by running his hands through his hair, and then shaking it out. He smiled alluringly at Dorcas, who looked at the pair of them and shouted across the room:

"Sirius, stop preening. Hey Gideon! Come here!" and she waved Gideon over. Sirius scowled as Gideon smiled, and shrugged as he walked over to the fire, the girls and James.

"What's going on, guys?" Gideon had asked.

"Lily says she would only go out with James here," Dorcas twinkled up at him, "if I would come along. And then James said-"

"Then I said, that's ridiculous, I'd rather not go at all if-"

"If the swollen-headed jerk couldn't get me all to himself," Lily grimaced.

"So then, I suggested a double-date!" proclaimed Dorcas jubilantly.

"And where do I come in?" Gideon asked tentatively.

"Well, you apparently would be Dorcas's date. But, I-" explained James.

"But I wouldn't go out with James if the whole tower came with us! So forget it!" Lily fumed.

"But, you said..." James looked hopeful for a moment, then looked down at Dorcas who was smirking at him, "Yeah, forget it." And James surprisingly walked away from Lily Evans, who was suddenly looking very surprised. Gideon looked down at Dorcas, who had dropped her affected manner and smiled apologetically at him. Suddenly, Gideon had hope.

***

Whether or not Dorcas really wanted to go on a date with Gideon Prewett was beside the point. The point was did it make Sirius jealous? He certainly was surprised when she ignored his "alluring" smile. A few hours later, James was still sitting in a corner, sulking. Lily was looking over at her defeated suitor every other minute, and Gideon was talking to Remus. Sirius swallowed his pride and walked over to Dorcas.

"So...Dorcas," Sirius said very smoothly, "You and Prewett?" and he grinned.

She grinned back at him.

"Says who?"

"You, my dear. From the looks of it, at least. A double date, huh?"

"Why are you suddenly so concerned in my affairs, Sirius?"

"No reason, I mean I just wondered why on earth...well he's Prewett!"

Dorcas smiled intriguingly and waltzed away, in the usual manner. She wondered if all of this coyness really worked. Then her eyes met Gideon's as she passed by the boys on her way to the girls' dormitories. The sly grin melted off her face, as she looked at the shy, yet unusually handsome face in front of her. Suddenly things were a lot more confusing. She looked back at Sirius who was attempting to cheer up James, and shook her head. Then she looked at Lily, bewildered, but by no means acting unlike herself. Lily knew who she was, and what she thought was right, and more importantly, Lily knew what she felt was wrong, and it made her more sure of herself. It was then that Dorcas decided that she disliked playing games.

Dorcas dragged herself up to her bed, and collapsed on it. Nobody else had come upstairs yet, so Dorcas thought it was safe to have a good cry. Suddenly, she felt disgusted by her attitude towards Sirius, and pained by how she treated Gideon. She felt an unfamiliar swing in her emotions. She closed her eyes to sleep, but instead of sinking into a dreamless slumber, all she saw was Gideon's face burned into the back of her eyelids.

***

Gideon Prewett grabbed Fabian's elbow, and dragged him through the room full of people. He took one last glimpse of Dorcas's gauzy green dress before making for the kitchen.

"What did you tell him?" Gideon repeated.

"I- I just said that you admired her, certainly, but- but nothing was going on..."

Gideon ran his fingers through his hair.

"Listen, Gid, you can't keep running from the girl your entire life!" continued Fabian, "Someday some prat like Edgar's gonna get serious and well, you'll be left in the dust."

"Does Dorcas know?"

"Know what?"

"Oh, bloody hell. Does she know- that I still feel that way about her?"

"How could she?"

Gideon paced around the kitchen as Fabian watched him in silence.

"Hey, I'm sorry but you know Edgar Bones. He practically gave me the Spanish Inquisition!"

"What's with everybody and the Spanish Acquisition!"

"Inquisition- Listen, this is supposed to be a meeting of the Order of the Phoenix, not a soap opera!"

"A soap what?"

"I've been talking too much to Benjy Fenwick... But Gideon, this whole meeting was arranged to figure out some way to stop You-Know-Who, not to agonize over Dorcas Meadowes!"

Gideon stopped pacing.

"Yeah, you're right of course. When did my little brother get smarter than me?"

Fabian laughed and led Gideon out of the kitchen. Gideon was still anxious about all of this, but he was there for a reason. To catch some bloody Death Eaters.

***

"Marlene Marianne McKinnon, you bloody well knew he was coming, didn't you? And yet you didn't tell me! I can't believe you would do this to me!"

"What are you in such a strop for? I thought you liked him!"

"Liked, as in past tense. Marlene that was four years ago! Besides, nothing ever happened and, it's awkward."

"Oh yes? And if nothing ever happened why is it awkward?" Dorcas knew Marlene was too quick for her 'nothing ever happened' ploy, but she thought she'd try it anyway.

"Alright. I'll tell you, but you can't tell another soul about it. Promise?"

"Darling, cousins never tell."

"Since when?"

"Just spit it out!"

"Ok..." Marlene listened with the attentive ear of a gossip as Dorcas told her the story.

***

"It was in our seventh year, mine and Gideon's, when things started to get...more serious. You see I had liked him since fifth year, and I never knew what he was thinking. He was always so quiet. Anyway - the truth is..." Dorcas swallowed, as she was about to reveal something she had never told anyone, "I tried to kill myself, and Gideon stopped me."

"Y- you, I'm sorry- you tried to kill yourself?" Marlene sputtered in disbelief, staring bewildered at her always coolly confident cousin.

"It was right after James and Lily started going out, and I was getting desperate. I just...wandered up to the owlery one night and suddenly found myself balancing on a window ledge, about to jump-"

"And that's when our hero Prewett just instinctively waltzes in and pulls you back from the brink of suicide?" Marlene whispers in furious disbelief. Dorcas can't possibly have ever wanted to kill herself... I mean, Look at Her.

"Actually, yes. He was sending a letter to his mother in Liverpool, and he saw me there, and just grabbed me round the waist, and pulled me back in-"

"I don't give a sod whether or not he was sending a letter to the bloody Queen! You aren't telling me the truth here, Dorcas!"

"I swear on Merlin's beard I'm not lying, Marlene. Why won't you believe me?"

"Because you're YOU, that's why! How come you never said anything about this before?"

"Because it was a bit embarrassing actually... And I didn't fancy having to tell everyone that I was so miserable I wanted to die when they all thought I was such a happy little tease! You don't know what it was like being me, Marlene, so don't assume my life has always been a bed of bloody sodding roses!" Dorcas whispers dangerously as Marlene looks taken aback. Marlene then paces through the Potter's hallway a few minutes and comes back to face Dorcas, deciding she wants to hear the rest of the story.

"So what then?" she asks soberly.

"So...he said to me he won't tell anyone and not to worry, then he gave me a hug, and walked me back to the common room."

"And that's it?"

"Yeah, pretty much..."

The air around them fades into an uneasy silence, but the two cousins can still hear the anxious but hopeful chatter of the Order in the next room.

"If that was it, then why don't you want to see him again? The bloke seems alright if you ask me."

"Oh-" says Dorcas, reddening a little, "It's just a bit awkward I guess. He- and you now I suppose - are the only people who know about that."

Marlene looks at Dorcas suspiciously but realizes as far as Dorcas goes, that's all she's going to hear today about the relationship. Marlene pecks her on the cheek.

"You should've told me. Come and see us some time, love." And with that Marlene walks back to join the others.

Dorcas watches her walk off, and then leans against the wall to steady herself. She was so grateful that Marlene hadn't pressed her any further that she actually breathed a sigh of relief. Everything she told Marlene about her suicide attempt was true, except it was not all there was to it... not by a long shot.

Dorcas' gratitude to Gideon that night a little more than a year ago, was not satisfied with a shaky 'thank you' and it was still burning inside her after he had held her in a hesitant embrace. Everything she had felt for this quiet boy was smoldering inside her as they walked silently back to the common room, and she felt she had to do something about it or bust.

"Gideon?" she had said tentatively with her back to him on the way up to the girls' dormitories.

"Yeah?" he asked, his voice betraying no emotion.

"I just wondered if- if maybe you'd...um, let me take you to Hogsmeade next weekend, as a sort of a thank you. Lunch on me..."

"You don't have to do that Dorcas, you're shaken up enough as it is, without your feeling you have to make it up to me. What I did...anyone would have done." They were moving slowly and unconsciously towards one another through the conversation.

"But I- I feel I ought to do something for you to make you understand that I'm grateful to you..."

"I don't need your gratitude Dorcas, just knowing you're safe is plenty-"

"I want to go out with you Gideon. I have ever since fifth year, I just- you never seemed to want to, I could never figure you out. Everyone else was falling all over me-"

"Exactly. And you loved it. You would never understand why I wouldn't and couldn't worship you like the rest of them do. You wouldn't be happy with me, Dorcas, just face it. The only reason you're so interested in me all of a sudden is because I don't act like the others. And I don't want your gratitude, and I don't want to be suddenly acceptable because I did what anybody else would have done and saved your life. It's not special, so don't kid yourself-" But Dorcas cut him off and kissed him.

"It is special. And I don't care what you or anybody else says. I care about you, Gideon. I know I've been a complete yutz, but I didn't know how else to hide what's been going on inside me. It's all been a game...One big horrible game, and-" here she burst into tears, "and you're the only person out of any of these people who call themselves my friends that I actually give a damn about! And now you say that it can't work out because you won't worship me! Don't I tell you that's not what I want from you!"

"Then what do you want?" Gideon said quietly, looking at her straight on.

"I want- I want you to be you, and me to be me, and I want us to understand each other and nobody else. I want this to be between you and me," she finishes in a kind of desperate hysteria. Dorcas remembers wiping the tears off her face and staring at Gideon in the glow from the dwindling fire.

"Dorcas, it will all still be a sham..."

"No! No, it won't, and don't you say that either! I'm not saying we hide it all, I'm just saying we keep this low-key. But I want to be yours. I want to be able to be myself and I want to understand you, and let you be yourself. I want to help you, like you've helped me..."

"What if I don't need helping?" Gideon says with a forced scowl on his face.

"Then I guess we've just been wasting our time here, haven't we?" Dorcas glowers at him. Gideon is silent for a few moments as if he is thinking things over. She doesn't understand him, even now.

"Listen, I'm not saying I don't care about you, I'm just skeptical, alright?"

"Well, can't we give it a try? I'll try not to keep being such a tease, okay?" she adds as he looks at her appraisingly.

"Try, huh?" he says and then smiles at her. Dorcas feels relieved in the early hours of the morning, and bashfully steps closer to him. He slips his arm around her waist for the second time that evening and kisses her on the cheek.

"I'll see you in the morning," Gideon says almost cheerfully, "We can have breakfast together...that is if it won't ruin your image?"

"Go to bed!" she says and kisses him on the lips more passionately than even she could have imagined. He quite maturely walks up the boys' staircase and she smiles at the silence he leaves behind. Dorcas doesn't believe that this has just happened.

Suddenly, she flashes forward a couple of months in her memory, and under provocation from the thoughts occurring in her head, she furiously kicks the Potter's hallway wall, ironically knocking a picture of a smiling Sirius off of its nail.