Village of the Damned, Draco Style

Dear Diary,

I would like to insert some random thoughts on 'The Boy Who Lived'.

1. Harry Potter is not very nice.

2. In fact he is an asshole.

3. I've been following the bastard ever since I met him and I hate it!

4. He has never even said 'thank you' for staying by him all of second year when the rest of the school had turned their backs on 'The friendliest guy in the world.'

5. Asshole.

* Harry: Walks halfway down the stairs and then stopes as he notices Ron. Hey, Ron, whachya writin'?

Ron: Oh, just some divination crap, nothing important. *

6. Heh, heh, heh. I'll bet all the money in our bank account that if he knew what I was writing, he'd throw a hissy fit at me for saying he wasn't important.

Well you aren't 'Harry Pothole', you are a LOSER! That's right a LOSER! You will never amount to anything in this world! You're not even a decent actor, for Christ's sake.

* Draco walks into the common room.

Harry: How'd you get in here?

Draco: Step aside. Makes sweeping movement with his hand until Harry is out of the way. Then points to Ron. You are to be my partner. Come.

Ron: Wha...

Draco: I can hear all thoughts my darling. *

Far out, this guy is loonier than I thought he was.

* Draco: I heard that! Pouts. I don't like you any more.

Annie Moore: Why don't you like me?

Draco: Not you.

Annie Moore: Oh, good.

Draco: Looking at Ron. Oh, I can't stay mad at you any longer.

Annie Longa: Why were you mad at me?

Draco: I wasn't. Come Ron my darling, we shall leave this dreadful place. Looks around the room with his nose rumpled.

Ron: Where will we go?

Draco: I repeat, 'away from this dreadful place.' *

Should I go with him?

* Draco: Yes my darling, we must wonder in our hate for the boy standing on the stairs.

Neville Longbottom: Me?

Draco: NO!

Neville: Running away. Aagghh!!

Harry: What the fuck is going on?

Draco: We both hate you and I am taking Ron with me back to Slytherin house so that he will not be overcome by your 'control'. *

Think of the sea, think of the sea, think of the sea.

* Draco: You are trying to block your thoughts from me.

Ron: Screws up his eyes and acts very badly as though he is in anguish. Ow!

Draco: Eyes flash. You are succeeding in blocking your thoughts from me! *

Ow! He's hurting me. Oh no! He broke through the sea! Just as well I had brick wall there to stop him seeing my thoughts.

* Draco: Eyes flash again. How dare you have a brick wall there to stop me from seeing your thoughts!

Ron: Screws up eyes and acts very badly as though he is in anguish. Ow! *

Oh no! He's breaking through the brick wall. Good thing there's a briefcase covering the bomb.

Wait a minute. There's no briefcase here. And there's no bomb either.

* Harry: Are you sure?

Ron: Can you read thoughts as well?

Harry: Yes.

Draco: Rushes over and gives Harry a hug. Oh! You are to be my partner.

Harry: Get off me! Any way,-.

Annie Waie: What?

Harry: Looking at Annie Waie. I'm not talking to you! I was talking to the boys.

Annie Moore and Annie Longa: What?

Harry: Argh! I'm talking to Ron and Malfoy.

Lucius Malfoy: Yes?

Draco: Daddy! Daddy, come and give me a hug.

Lucius: No.

Draco: Pouting. Why not?

Lucius Malfoy: Because you're not my son.

Draco: Hooray!!!!

Harry: Argh! Why is everyone ignoring me?

Ron: Sorry, Harry. What is it that you wanted to say?

Harry: Pointing to a briefcase that has appeared out of thin air. There is a bomb in that briefcase.

Ron: Wha...*

* Explosion*

The End.

(A/N: Obviously I have seen 'Village of the Damned' way too many times. *Chuckles to self*.)