Wherever You Will Go

Chapter 2: "Wherever You Will Go"

So lately, been wondering,
Who will be there to take my place?
When I'm gone, you'll need love
To light the shadows on your face

That smile changed everything. Just that triumphant, slightly heroic, and, in my opinion, very bastardized smile, and I knew. I wanted to wipe it off his smug face, and to do that I couldn't stop, just then.

So I didn't.

I didn't want to spend eternity watching him walk away, remembering him turning away. So, I tried, very, very hard.

Studying. At every free hour, at dawn, at teatime, I became absorbed in the textbooks, the manuscripts, and I'd soon read the majority of the books in my father's library, and had yet to find the key to his study.

He read the most morbid, vague things one could find. The usual Dark Arts, curses, binds, and dangerous potions and poisons, etc. These things that had the power to alter the very essence of life, for the worse, usually, and quite permanently. They could wreck havoc in one's mind and emotions.

But I knew about things that could bind the most powerful emotion of all - in my opinion, love.

Of course, love potions are a bit illegal... but I was sure I could handle it.

I would do anything for his love.

If a great wave should fall
It would fall upon us all
And between the sand and stone
Could you make it on your own?

"Hello again, Harry, my friend" I smiled as he stiffened at the sound of my voice. Looking at the walls of his office, I noticed that, although a bit busy, it was somewhat organized. Ah, here's his calendar. Today was the 5^th. Meeting with Al tomorrow, hmm, how interesting... I wrote 'vacation to Malfoy Manor with Draco' in verdant green ink.

"Malfoy," he stated, turning in his little swivel chair. "Goddamnit, why wouldn't you just go away and die already?"

"You know I won't die until I become a Death Eater... my father would never let me." I replied neatly.

"So, why aren't you becoming one now? Keeping daddy waiting, are we? Or just come to duel me again?"

"Relax, Potter, I just want to say goodbye." He paled slightly at this.

"I told you off a long time ago," he said fiercely.

"But I didn't get my turn yet. Humor me, Potter." I grinned, then pounced on the poor boy, covering his lips with mine. As I thrust my tongue into his unresisting mouth, the small portion of potion I'd kept underneath my tongue let loose into his mouth.

He pushed me away, spitting out what he thought was my saliva, but I smiled.

"You have twenty fours hours until you're mine, Potter."

His eyes widened. "What the... you put poison?... a love potion? You used a fuckin' love potion on me, you bastard?!?"

My eyes hardened. "I want you, and I want you to want me back. A Malfoy always gets what he wants." Then I Apparated from his office.

If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go

While for others, life was just beginning after the graduation from Hogwarts, I'd felt as though my life had just ended.

I felt such severe pain, like I couldn't breathe - only I could, and I felt as if something greater, something more important than even my heart or lungs - was missing.

I felt as if my heart was breaking. Slowly and surely, into many fine and small pieces.

For some time, I lost faith in myself, and my love.

In this moment of weakness, I knew what I could do to ease the pain.

Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go

Drowsily, his beautiful green eyes stared at me with newfound love in their depths. But deeper down still, I knew there was hate, great loathing and disgust. And I knew I'd caused it.

But the sensation of finally receiving his love - it had made me drunk and uncaring. I sat down and, to the candlelight, wrote a mocking little note to Ronald Weasley, Harry's old childhood friend. Partly, because I'd hated him for being Harry's best friend and confidante and all, and also because, I knew he would be most affected by this strange turn of events. I couldn't help it, I knew it was childish and all, but I needed this to prove that it was all true.

Weasley,

As I promised, Potter is mine again, only this time, it shall last forever.

I know you won't understand, but it's no use trying to save him now.

This is the power of the Malfoy family. Never get in our way, if you fear your own life, or the lives of those nearest you.

Draco Malfoy

I stared at the note for a little bit. How did I manage to turn everything into a threat? Oh well... I put the note in an envelope with green and gold trimmings, attached it to my owl's leg, and sent it off.

I watched it fly away with great satisfaction, picturing the freckled redhead reading my note and sputtering with shock, or something like that, and trying to get to the Manor. I was giddy with love and joy and all of that good stuff I'd never thought I'd experience before I met Harry.

And maybe, I'll find out
The way to make it back someday

When I looked back, Harry was lightly napping. Against the harsh, forest green covers and silken pillows, his face was even softer and exuberant. His ruddy cheeks gleamed in the small rays of sun from the window, his thick and beautiful lashes seemed like those of an angel.

I'd heard that people became more beautiful when they slept, since they lowered all the facial guards they'd have while awake, and you got to see what they looked like naturally. I'd never really believed it though, Mum always looked dead so I couldn't even tell, and Dad looked even more ferocious while 'sleeping', right before he grabs me and throws me against the wall.

They were nothing like Harry.

To watch you, to guide you
Through the darkest of your days

I felt an unexplainable calmness and sanity just sitting there, watching my lover sleep. Would he hate me when he woke up? Probably. But would he show it? Nope. He loves me, I thought gleefully, watching, the object of my obsession for a long seven years, sleep.

And then, I began to feel another emotion in my heart that I'd never felt before.

Guilt.

Runaway with my heart
Runaway with my hope
Runaway with my love

It was first feather-light, a rather small and quiet creature that possessed a small part of my thoughts.

But, I couldn't shake it off.

Well, few things were right and fair, none of which my father had taught me. But, I didn't want to become like my father, serving the Dark Lord, who, in all probability, would never rise against the wizarding world before getting beaten by Harry Potter, again, dammit.

I froze.

I hadn't thought about this. I don't know why, I know I couldn't keep it secret forever, sooner or later, father would find out, be mad at me, then pleased, and offer Harry to Voldemort.

This clinched it for me. I couldn't let him die, like this! And I didn't want to become a Death Eater and take over the world, I didn't care about world domination, only love! Harry's love!

Well, there was only one antidote for the love potion. Love ya, Harry, I thought.

If I could turn back time
I'll go wherever you will go

Harry woke up in his office, feeling quite a bit drowsy, and with his side aching. Gasping as it throbbed in pain, he almost fell of his swivel chair. Cheap, lousy thing. But goddamnit, why couldn't he remember anything?

He remembered working, coming early in the morning, talking with Bob a bit, saying 'hi' to Jean, eating lunch with his friends... The windows were already dark. It must already be nighttime.

There was frantic knocking at his office door. He strode over, opened it, and was about to ask "What is it?", when Ron and Hermione stumbled in.

Ron was pale and Hermione almost as much.

"Stupid git you are, Ron. You said he was in trouble." Hermione's voice trembled a bit.

"What?"

"Thank god, Harry, we thought Malfoy did something really awful to you." Ron voiced his concerns.

"Malfoy? But... I don't know anyone named Malfoy... was he a teacher at Hogwarts?"

Ron and Hermione stared.

"Malfoy? You don't remember Draco Malfoy, that slimy git? Remember, how we made fun of him at Hogwarts? He was a student, same year as us, damn arrogant..." Ron faltered as he realized his friend did not remember his own rival of seven years.

"Holy shit."

In your heart and your mind
I'll stay with you for all of time

Draco sat by the window, facing outwards towards the snow drifting in the window. Early frost lightly covered the grounds of the Malfoy Manor, but he could not appreciate the beauty of the sparkling winter scene, because... His heart had begun hurting again. Barely able to move after expending the necessary energy needed to Apparate something other than himself... it could've killed him, had his will not been strong enough.

He remembered a time like this, almost a year ago... God, had it been so long? Snow in the morning, as light filtered in, he felt like he was bleeding his very essence into the cold hardwood floors, as Potter left.

A tear fell into the fresh snow, but the rest were quickly stopped.

Lucius was at the doorway, watching his son cry. He wouldn't do anything more for his own son, because he'd already taught him everything he knew, everything he was.

What the boy had, that all successful Malfoys scorned, was humanity.

Lucius knew there was a shred of it in the boy. He knew, because something was very wrong with Draco, and this was the only thing that could possibly go wrong.

"Draco."

The boy looked at him with glistening, but hard eyes. It was no good. He knew he was not strong enough.

Without a word, he got up and left the room. Lucius followed his son as the boy dutifully went down the stairs and through the doorway and gates, for the very last time.

"Voldemort waits for you, should you ever return."

Draco nodded, steeling his gaze as his father had taught him, and strode purposefully away. And he began trudging in the snow, towards the setting sun.

He smiled faintly, as the pain multiplied, and the sun he could see no longer. Snow in his face, refreshingly cold, as inside him, his warm, beating heart hurt... as it always would.