Armilla

Chapter 33

Welcome Home. Snape's manner was completely nonchalant when he said those words, yet all the same they managed to send a tingling sensation through my body.

I was looking at my home. When I had been at my father's house, I didn't stop for a moment to think that it was one of my homes. My father shared custody of me with Snape, but because I saw more of my brother, I had come to view him as my sole guardian. Underneath of course, it was my desire to have Snape as my sole guardian so I could have nothing to do with my father. It would certainly have been less stress for Snape if things had been arranged that way. He wouldn't have had to give up so much of his time to teach me all the skills I required for living with my father.

On the other hand, if things hadn't been this way, I wouldn't have seen much of Snape at all. He would have stayed in his dungeons and I would have stayed in Ravenclaw Tower and we would have only seen each other during Potions. I never went down to the dungeons unless I had a lesson with my brother...we never organised social visits. I wondered briefly what things would be like if my father suddenly vanished off the face of the earth. Snape had said only the night before that he would not give me up. But would we continue on with our lives on separate paths, only crossing when necessary, like at the moment because Snape had to teach me how to survive my father? In some sort of disturbing, twisted way, my father's horrid and abusive disposition was bringing Snape and I closer together.

I hadn't thought that Snape was one for surprises. I had supposed he wasn't telling me where we were going due to some sort of security precaution. But now it was clear that he had intended for me to see the house for myself and give an opinion before he told me it was ours.

Ours. It wasn't "I live there. That's my house and I've allocated you a bedroom." Snape had directly used the word "we" and to me, that made all the difference in the world.

The carriage went through an archway and came to a halt inside a square courtyard which the house was built around. Before I could open the door, it swung open to reveal the very excited face of a house elf.

"Master Severus!" the creature squeaked. "Docky is happy to be seeing you, sir! But Docky was not expecting you, sir. Docky heard the carriage coming and was very surprised, sir." The elf was hopping from one foot to the other in a mixture of excitement and nerves.

Snape shook his head in irritation and gave me a small push to climb down from the carriage.

The elf's already massive eyes grew even wider as he turned his pointed face to me. He gave a deep bow and his nose brushed the pavement.

"Master Severus. Docky is not used to you having guests. Docky does not know your lady friend, sir."

"She is not my lady friend, Docky," Snape growled, as he climbed down to stand beside me.

I fought back an urge to laugh.

"This is Armilla, Docky," Snape continued, glaring down at the house elf. "She is my sister."

Docky straightened up, his mouth hanging open. "Your sister?" he squeaked. "Forgive my ignorance, Master Severus, but Docky did not know that Miss Hazel had a daughter."

I smiled. The elf must have served the Merrigan family for years. It was strange to hear the elf refer to my mother as "Miss Hazel."

"I did not know either, until recently," said Snape in an offhand way. "But circumstances have changed, Docky. I now share custody of Armilla with my father and so you will be seeing a lot more of her here during the summer, when she is not with Father."

Docky gave me a broad smile. "Docky is happy to be meeting you, Miss Armilla," he said. He turned to Snape. "And may Docky say, Master Severus, that Miss Armilla is beautiful like her mother?"

"Well you just did," Snape scoffed, glancing sideways as me. "As pleasant as this conversation is, Docky," he said, sneering, "it is cold out here and I would like to take Armilla inside."

Docky bowed again. "Oh, certainly, sir," he said.

"Come, then," said Snape, brushing past me to walk up the steps to the front door. I followed, staring up at the many windows above me. There must have been about a hundred rooms in this place.

Docky bounded up the steps behind me, taking them two at a time.

"Decorum, Docky," said Snape, without bothering to turn around. Docky immediately returned to the bottom of the stairs and began to walk up them properly. Docky was probably a lot older than Snape, but it was evident Docky held no resentment in having Snape for a master.

I followed Snape through the doorway and into a wide hallway. Snape turned left and we walked down the hallway into a larger hall. There were many doors leading off this hall, but I didn't pay them a great deal of attention. The grand staircase took my notice before anything else. It was quite wide, and it curved so that the top was on the other side of the hall. Looking up, I saw that this hall had no rooms directly above it. The banister upstairs stretched around the perimeter of the hall so that I could see more doors and hallways no matter which way I turned.

"I'll give you a tour," said Snape, turning around to face me. "But we won't look into every room because it'll take us hours. Come."

Snape wasn't kidding (but then, when did he ever?). It took an hour and a half to tour the entire house, even though we didn't even go into many rooms. He just pointed out a hallway to the guest quarters as we walked past it. We walked past a few closed doors which Snape said led to disused rooms. I saw the massive kitchen in the basement, where Docky lived in a little, but well kept room joining to it. I saw the massive parlour, which was done out in creams and pale green and had sofas arranged in a square, as well as a games table. Further down the hall was a long dining room, with a table large enough to seat twenty-two people. There was also a breakfast room like at Father's house. There was a two-storey library, complete with its own winding mahogany staircase. Snape gave me free reign of all the books within the library because, as he had said on the day I met my father, Mother had disposed of any serious Dark Arts books. I was glad to be given permission to go to the library. In my own Granger-like way, I was itching to explore the many shelves, though I hid my enthusiasm better than Hermione would have.

Snape showed me where his study was located, which wasn't far from the parlour. Joined to his study was a sitting room that he had converted into a private Potions lab. Further down the hall was yet another sitting room, which he informed me, was to be used for any lessons I would have.

Upstairs, Snape took me along a hall which led to rooms overlooking the front of the house. These were the family bedrooms. Snape didn't take me into his bedroom, but I was surprised that with all the bedrooms available in the house, my bedroom was located right next door to Snape's. To keep watch, a voice in my head said. When Snape opened the door to my bedroom, I certainly got more than I bargained for.

"Finally, this is your room," said Snape, opening the door and beckoning for me to go in ahead of him.

The room was huge. The walls were light blue and had three floor length windows that allowed a lot of light in. It was richly furnished, but done so with a lot of taste. The four-poster bed on the left of the room was enormous and it was covered in a white satin and lace bedspread. The opposite wall had an ornate fireplace with a number of trinkets on it. There was a white sofa with blue cushions and two matching armchairs centred around a low table in front of the fireplace. There was also a round table with four chairs around it in the centre of the room. What caught my curiosity was a grand piano in the far corner.

Snape must have followed my gaze to the piano.

"This was your mother's bedroom," he said. "She decorated it herself. She specifically asked me awhile ago to give you this room." He waved a hand towards the piano. "I can have the piano removed if you like. Mother was an avid player, but Father wouldn't allow it, so she didn't bring it with her when she married."

"No, that's okay," I said, staring at it. "It's alright there."

Snape raised an eyebrow. "You have been taught to play?"

I nodded. "I've completed every level...but I don't play."

"Why not?"

"I don't like to," I said simply. I was being honest though. One of Merle's muggle friends had taught me how to play. I had loved playing, especially after I had completed every level. It was wonderful to select any piece of music and sit down and play it.

The downfall was having Shar next door. He used to hear me play and would then invite himself over so he "could have the joy of hearing Armilla play." It didn't take long for me to reject my love for it. Every time I would sit down at the piano, I would think of Shar coming over and that was enough to make me get up again. And all that was before Shar had attacked me. I didn't want the piano taken out of the room because it was my mother's. But I was certain that I would never be bothering Snape with music because just looking at it reminded me of Shar still.

If Snape found my answer puzzling, he didn't say. He waved a hand to the right of the fireplace.

"The bathroom is in there," he said, briskly. He moved towards another door to the left of the fireplace. "And this," he said, opening the door, "is a storeroom of my mother's favourite books."

I stepped into the room. It was very small. The walls were lined with shelves that were stacked with many books.

"I've never looked through these," he said, staring at the many rows of books with a dubious expression on his face. "However, Mother informed me that they are free of any...unsuitable material and I suppose that I trust her enough to leave them here. She did tell me that on the whole, a couple of them are more enlightening for witches rather than wizards, so I kept my distance."

Snape actually glared at the books now and I couldn't help but smile. I was suddenly grateful that I had found out Snape was my brother at the age of fifteen. It would have been a huge embarrassment for us both if it was left to him to give me "the talk". I think we both would have been red for weeks as a result.

"But you can peruse these another time," said Snape, walking back into my bedroom. "I want to fit in some duelling before lunch."

I suddenly had the image of Snape as a child in my head. I would have bet anything that he and the Slytherins he hung out with would have always tried to "fit in duelling" rather than Quidditch before lunch.

I followed Snape back downstairs and into the sitting room he had allocated for lessons. It was a large, but narrow room, certainly suitable for duelling.

We had only been in the room for two seconds when Snape drew his wand. Thinking that he would do this, I already had my hand on mine upon entering the room. And so when Snape's Rictusempra came at me I shielded it without any trouble and sent another one flying back at Snape, who, being the King of all things duelling, deflected it easily.

We duelled for about an hour, stopping every so often so Snape could point out better stance techniques or more effective wand movements. Even though beating Snape in duelling was always out of the question, once I had learned enough over the weeks under his tutelage, I actually loved duelling with him. I was certain that I was no match for him, but I had the suspicion that he enjoyed it as well. We always duelled for longer than he planned when I went down to his quarters at school, often well past my bedtime, which in itself was proof that he loved it because he had a thing about me going to bed on time. And when he would stop to point things out to me, he wouldn't sound so Professor-lecturer-like he did when explaining a few random spells or potions. He really did enjoy talking about duelling.

When Snape finally ended the session, I waited, as usual for me now, for Snape to pocket his wand before I did.

"You don't trust me," said Snape, eyeing the wand in my hand as he sat down on the sofa. He had the faintest of smiles on his face.

"Not when we've been duelling, I don't," I replied, returning the smile shyly. I sat down next to him and began to heal the various scorches and weals I had received from the session.

"Not as many as you used to get," he commented, watching me heal them. "You have certainly improved because I most certainly have not made things any easier for you."

"Does that mean you're going to make things harder now?" I asked grimly, trying for the second time to repair a particularly stubborn weal.

"You never know," he answered dryly. "Here, you need to alter your wand movement, like this." He waved his wand, the movement slightly different from mine. The subtle change in the movement made all the difference though, as he succeeded in clearing the weal up at once.

"Well, you can put your wand away now," he said, after I had finished. "I promise I won't attack you. Maybe not until after lunch at any rate. Ah, I can hear Docky coming."

"Has he been with the family a long time?" I asked.

"Oh, yes," he scoffed. "He'd cut his own arm off and do it smiling if I asked him to."

I looked warily at Snape, who had a tiny smile on his face again.

"Oh, don't worry," he said, waving a hand aside. "I've never asked him to. But I'm convinced he has some sort of infirmity at the very least. His hyperactivity drives me insane."

At that moment, the door opened to reveal the aforementioned house elf. He came in with a huge grin on his face. I heard Snape sigh at the cheerfulness of the elf.

"Lunch is served for Master Severus and Miss Armilla," he squeaked.

"Thankyou, Docky," said Snape through clenched teeth. I had my suspicions that Snape really wanted to curse the elf, but didn't out of loyalty to his mother.

Docky disappeared into the hallway again and Snape and I stood up.

"I prefer him to Jiffy," I said, thinking of the ugly little elf at Father's house.

Snape sneered. "Jiffy," he said, "is a little..." Snape stopped suddenly and looked down at me.

"erm...bad elf," he finished.

"Bad elf?" I repeated. I hid my amusement that Snape had chosen not to curse in front of me. I had always imagined that with Longbottom and Potter in his classes, Snape would be fond of cursing.

"Indeed," he replied.

We went into the breakfast room. This room was a lot smaller than the dining room. The rectangular table only seated eight. There was a steaming bowel of stew at the head of the table, and another one to the left of it.

"I take all meals in here," said Snape, sitting down at the head of the table. "The dining room is ridiculously big for the two of us."

I sat down next to him.

Docky came bounding back into the room, nearly skidding on the carpet.

"Decorum, Docky," said Snape, picking up his spoon.

Docky immediately went back to the doorway and then proceeded to walk properly into the room. I supposed that when Snape was at Hogwarts, Docky fell back into his old habits.

Docky walked right up to Snape's side and smiled broadly up at him. Snape winced, I smiled.

"Yes?" said Snape, curtly.

"Is Master Severus requiring wine with his lunch?"

"No, he is not," Snape replied.

"Is Miss Armilla req-"

"No, she is not," Snape interrupted. "She is fifteen, Docky, and won't be requiring wine at all for a long time."

"Yes, sir!" Docky squeaked. "Docky will leave you to your lunch now, Master Severus."

"Yes, that would be advisable," Snape growled.

Docky, remembering decorum this time, walked to the door and bowed himself out.

I began to eat as well. The stew was very good. There was no doubt that the elf could cook.

"And now," said Snape, smoothly, "since we agreed last night not to hold things back, we can continue our conversation from earlier."

I swallowed the stew in my mouth and looked at him, utterly bewildered.

"I didn't think we had an unfinished conversation," I said.

He smirked. "Oh, I do," he said, silkily. "And I wish to continue it."

"Alright, then," I said, not sure what was coming.

"Why do you dislike playing the piano?"

"Oh, that conversation," I muttered.

"Yes, that conversation," Snape said, narrowing his eyes. "The one you attempted to finish so quickly by saying 'I don't like to'".

"I wasn't holding back," I said defensively. "That was an honest answer."

"Indeed it was," he scoffed. "Yes, an honest answer but not a satisfactory one, wouldn't you agree?"

"No, that was all I wanted to say," I said. "I wasn't about to bore you with stories from the past."

"Try me," said Snape.

I looked down at my stew.

"It's nothing major," I said quietly.

"Do enlighten me then." Snape had paused, his hand resting on his spoon in his bowl.

"Merle had a muggle friend who taught me how to play. She'd finished teaching me by the time I was eleven, so I could play anything Merle wanted me to." I paused as the face of Shar came into my mind.

"And you liked it?" asked Snape, watching me closely.

I nodded.

"So what happened?"

I took a breath. "Remember Merle's neighbour Shar?" I asked quietly.

Snape's face hardened. "That damn squib who tried to kill you in Merle's house?" he snapped. "The lunatic who caused you all those injuries? Why, yes, I am aware of him," he said sardonically.

I bit my lip.

He sighed. "Do continue," he said, picking up his spoon again.

"He used to use the music as an excuse to invite himself to our house," I said quietly. "I didn't like him coming. I didn't like him. Playing music meant seeing him...so I stopped."

"And did he stop coming over?" Snape asked, his voice low.

"He still came," I answered, looking at my stew. "But not as often."

"Surely Merle would have noticed that you stopped?"

"Yeah, she did. But I made it seem to her that I had lost interest."

"I see," said Snape thoughtfully.

We continued to eat for a few minutes in silence.

When we finished, Snape spoke again.

"Well sharing that wasn't too hard, was it?"

I shook my head.

Snape smirked. "And what's more, I didn't fall asleep during it so I mustn't have been too bored." He stood up.

I stood too. "You can be bored and not fall asleep," I pointed out.

"Of course," he said, as we walked to the door. "Though I hope that is not the case in any of your classes, least of all Potions."

"Of course not," I said quickly.

Snape looked back at me. "What? Not even History of Magic?"

I smiled. "Well, maybe there is an exception."

"Indeed."

o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o

We spent much of the afternoon in the sitting room again, practising spells and Occlumency. Snape had stopped teaching me new spells for now and most of our time was spent on refining what I had learned.

At dinnertime, I decided to bring up something that had been playing on my mind all day.

"Yes, what is it?" asked Snape, looking at me with narrowed eyes.

"How did you know I was going to ask you something?"

He smirked. "I always know when you want to ask something. You get such an uncomfortable look on your face, the degree of discomfort depending on how worried about the issue you are."

"You...I...had better get out of that habit," I stammered.

"By all means, get out of the habit for Father's sake, but not for mine," Snape replied. "Well what is it then?"

"You won't be around with potions at father's house," I said.

"Is that all I'm worthy of?" said Snape, mockingly. "I won't be giving you potions anyway. It isn't safe, even if we try to conceal them, Father may try to uncover them. Jiffy is a known snooper."

"Well, I was looking in one of the books you gave me this morning for a charm to fix a headache..."

Snape put his fork down, positively glowering. "You were going to heal your headache yourself without having used the charm before?" he asked dangerously.

"No," I said, angrily. "I wouldn't do something so stupid. I didn't do something so stupid. I was looking for something so you could tell me if it would be appropriate to use. I didn't attempt anything. That's why I still had a headache when I came to you."

Snape sneered. "Oh, the headache you had when you said you were fine?"

"That's the one," I retorted crossly.

Snape glared at me. "Be very careful," he growled.

I met his angry gaze for a moment, and then dropped my eyes back to my dinner. I shouldn't have mentioned it. So much for telling him about the things on my mind...

I was angry that Snape was angry with me. Hadn't I decided against using the charm?

We didn't speak for the rest of dinner. When the meal finally ended, Snape merely grunted that I could spend the evening in my bedroom because he had things to do, and to make sure I was in bed by nine thirty.

So it was with a heavy heart that I made my way back up to my bedroom. I hadn't occluded to Snape at all that day, yet I had still managed to anger the man. Though, I reasoned with myself, it didn't take a great deal to make him angry.

I ended up not exploring my mother's books that night. Instead, I occupied myself with my own books that I had brought with me. A few times, I would look up from the edge of my bed and stare at the piano. At one point, I actually got up and walked over to it. I touched the top of it. The image of Shar brandishing a knife in my mind forced me to retreat back to the bed. I couldn't play. It was too hard.

I ended up going to bed at nine o'clock. I would sleep better tonight because I didn't have a headache anymore. It didn't take long to drift off...

I was standing in the courtyard of the Merrigan Estate. Docky was running around madly, occasionally opting to walk on his hands.

Snape came outside and pointed his wand at the house elf. "Petrificus Totalus!"

The house elf froze and fell to the ground.

Snape turned to me.

"Stop encouraging that damn house elf to be hyperactive!" he snarled, his face contorted with fury.

"I didn't..." I started to say.

"You did!" Snape yelled. "You wouldn't tell me yourself so I had to look inside your mind! It's your fault that you won't tell me things."

"You get angry if I tell you things!" I retorted, feeling the tears well up. "I won't tell you anything!"

"Fine!" said Snape, "then get out!"

And so I ran from the courtyard without looking back. I kept running and running and suddenly I was in the clearing in the forest where Snape and I had apparated. I stopped in the middle, not knowing where to turn. I had no one to turn to.

There was a movement in the bushes behind me.

I turned quickly.

There was nothing there.

I turned back and met a face I had hoped to never see again.

Shar. Shar carrying a knife.

"You have Merle's money," he said, angrily. "You have my money. I will take back what is mine." He raised the knife.

And I screamed like there was no tomorrow.