Lost Innocence

Lost Innocence

Part 8

It was the last month of summer. For Tracey, it was without a doubt the worst summer and the worst time she had ever gone through. Everything seemed to have gone horribly wrong. Blaise, who she thought was her boyfriend, had used her only to seduce her and sleep with her then had dumped her, leaving her pregnant and alone. The girls whom she believed were her friends turned on her without hesitation and had spread the news of her pregnancy all over, and she had hardly anyone to look out for her.

How had she made such a mess of her life?

"Despite all that's happened, and I know this year was really hard for you, I want you know that we're both proud of you," said Tracey's mother sitting next to Tracey on the couch.

"You are?" asked Tracey, trying to think why.

"Yes," said Tracey's mother.

"Giving the baby up for adoption is not an easy decision to make," said Tracey's father, taking a seat on Tracey's other side. "It requires a lot of maturity and it's not a decision many people could do, most probably couldn't do it."

"W hat kind of life would he have had with me?" asked Tracey. "I don't have any idea how to even change a baby's diaper, never mind care for a child. I'd have to have pretty much dropped out of school, find some kind of job--and what kind of jobs are open for fourteen-year-olds, anyway--and devote it to him, I wasn't ready to do that, and if I did go back to school, you guys would wind up taking care of it, and that's not right either."

"I know, but not a lot of kids your age are able to see that, they don't really see how it will affect everyone," said Tracey's mother. "It's easy to get caught up in how cute the baby is or your own emotions and decide based on that, instead of looking at the big picture."

Overall, Tracey felt depressed and very much alone. She didn't really have any friends anymore, and the truth was she never really did. But did she really want Pansy and her gang in her life? They had shown their true colours and they were spiteful and shallow and made life miserable. Tracey didn't want to be like that. Not anymore. She definitely now had a taste of what it was like to be an outcast. It definitely had given her more empathy for other students. When school started, Tracey would have to start her fourth year from scratch. She would have to start all over again.

The baby was with the Phillipses, and Tracey was confident that he would be happy there. Giving him up was harder than she ever imagined it would be. Certainly, he would have a better life than he could ever have if she had kept him. Babies were cute, but a lot of work. Tracey would be up all night feeding, changing diapers, and burping him. She would also have to drop out of Hogwarts and give up all her dreams and goals and dedicate her life to him which was a tall order. Either that or she'd still go to school and her parents would wind up looking after Brendan instead of her. Either way, Brendan and Tracey's parents would be picking up the tab for her mistake. Whatever mistakes Tracey's parents made, it wasn't fair for them to have to do the work for her, and it wouldn't be fair to Brendan to be with a mother who didn't have any idea where to start. Despite the bad attitude she gave them, Tracey's parents still stood by her, and Tracey had to admit maybe her parents weren't all that bad. They weren't perfect parents by any means, but they weren't horrible parents either. If nothing else, they loved her unconditionally, and she knew that no matter what happened, no matter how bad things were or how badly she messed up, at least she'd still have a place to go, and someone to turn to. That's all that really mattered.