Fortuna's Bitter Smile

The Ministry
 

When Hagrid entered the dim-lit auditory, in which the ministry usually held its press conferences and the annual Halloween fundraiser for the Unicorn Wildlife Reserves, he immediately started to cry. He didn’t want to, but the atmosphere in the hall, the candles and smell of wood just brought the tears welling up into his eyes until his gigantic body was reduced to sobs.

Upon Hagrid’s entry a  figure next to the bier in the center got up. " Rubeus, what took you so long?" demanded the harsh voice of Minerva McGonagall.

Hagrid, lost for words, just stared at the flowers, the candles, and the body of Albus Dumbledore, greatest wizard of his time. He looked older and frailer than he had ever done in life.
Although his vision was blurred by tears Hagrid noticed the stern look of McGonagall resting on him. She didn’t cry at all, but her red laced eyes indicated that she had done so earlier.

"Now, Rubeus, get a hold of yourself."

Hagrid struggled hard to obey her, but failed miserably.

McGonagall was sympathetic enough to grant him 5 minutes in silence. Then she asked: "Why did you not come earlier? And where are the others?"

Hagrid pulled himself together. " I ... I first had to bury Fang, good dog. Couldn’t just leave him lyin’ there, like, like... ." He felt his self-control crumble again, but he managed to hold it up.

"Well, the others. There was no one to come along." He started to tick the Hogwarts staff off his hands. "Sprout an’ Black are dead, Snape, Filch an’ Vector are treated in St.Mungo’s, Alastor Moody is searchin’ the homes of some captured Death Eaters with the Hitwizards, Sinistra an’ Trelawney are stayin’ with the last kids in Hogwarts until they are picked up by their parents, Remus Lupin an’ Flitwick are missin’ right now,   ..."

"You may stop here. I understand that no one else is coming to bid the Headmaster farewell. He should have deserved more, well, attention." McGonagall looked over to the bier disappointedly.

" Yeh can’t blame them!"

McGonagall only shrugged her shoulders.

"Er, how did he die?" Hagrid asked softly in order to change the topic.

" Two killing spells at the same time." McGonagall went over to Dumbledore to lovingly pick a stray petal of a flower from his beard.

"Are yeh with Albus since they brought him ‘ere?"

"Yes, the whole time."

After a minute of uncomfortable silence Hagrid said: "A brandy or a tea would do yeh good, Minerva. Yeh look exhausted.  Let’s go to the cafeteria and see what we can find, eh!"

McGonagall nodded feebly in response and allowed Hagrid to lead her out of the room.
In the kitchen adjacent to the Ministries deserted cafeteria Hagrid uncovered a bottle of gin and two glasses.
After the first sips in silence, McGonagall looked at Hagrid.

"He died in my arms, you know."

"I’m sorry, Minerva."

"He died in my arms. I was there for him. Like always. I was there for him my whole life.
He asked me to do him a few last favors. And I obeyed. Like always."

McGonagall held out her glass for another shot of gin. Hagrid raised an eyebrow, but filled the glass nonetheless. McGonagall drained it at once. She looked down at the now empty glass in her hands.

" I can’t believe he made Severus Snape Headmaster. Him of all people, an ex-Death Eater. What has he done, that Albus trusted him so much? That he puts the fate of the whole school into his hands?  Nothing!"
McGonagall spat the last words so venomously that Hagrid flinched. The alcohol had begun to work in her.

" I, I have spent my whole life at Albus’ side, serving him and serving Hogwarts. Every bit of a private life I once had, I put aside for the benefit of the school. Do you think anyone was ever grateful?"

Hagrid was lost for words, but McGonagall didn’t expect an answer. She seemed to have pounded this thought over and over again in her head during the last few hours.

" I admired Albus, even fancied him when I was a silly young girl." McGonagall blushed lightly, but continued with a firm voice. "I admired his work, his strength, and I tried my best to keep Hogwarts’ every day business away from him, to keep his back clear. That’s why he made me his deputy. And I should have become his successor," she added bitterly. "He gave me his signet-ring when he knew he was dying, and told me to keep it for Severus. And I assured him I would do so. If I myself had kept the ring, no one would have doubted that Albus made me Headmistress. Well, I cannot deny that I considered that option, but in the end I obeyed him as always. It is all a matter of self-control."

She lifted a brow and looked at Hagrid. "Are you surprised that I’m capable of emotions like this?"

"No, o’ course not," he hastily replied. "Just wonder what yeh would have done if he really had chosen yeh as the new Headmaster."

McGonagall snorted. "What do you think ? I would have blushed, and then declined, of course. That’s what everyone would have expected from me."

 She shook her had. "Severus has never caused the Headmaster anything but sorrow. I’ll never understand what he saw in him."

"Well, Severus was closest to a son Albus ever had," Hagrid offered.

McGonagall waved her hand in front of Hagrids face. Her words became blurry. " I know, I know. But why Severus of all people? In all the years there have been so many bright young people attending Hogwarts. Severus was a troublemaker even when he was a child. And then he joined the Death Eaters. I know it hurt Albus deeply. Later he came back to our side, but that man is a killer, for Merlin's sake. Albus was only too willing to forgive him everything. We could do all we wanted, he never cared about any of his staff as much as he cared about Severus Snape."

Hagrid watched the bitter, disappointed woman in front of him. "Yeh know, yeh often love those most, who cause yeh the most sorrow. It’s like, like with Fang, yeh know."

"Oh, come on, spare me. He was a dog!"

"No, he was more than a dog. Well, he was big an’ dumb, an’ even scared o’ cats. He used to chase the chicken aroun’ in their den, no matter how often I told him off."  Hagrid stopped to blow his nose noisily at this memory.

 "He was nothing but trouble, an’ still, I loved him most."

Silence fell over the two people and the half-empty bottle of gin.