When You Wish Upon a Star

When You Wish Upon a Star
by Christabell

Chapter Thirteen: Of Nightmares and Deaths

Lily slumped up against James, nearly falling down on the ground.

“But James...” she whined. “I’m so tired. Can’t we just go,” she stifled a yawn, “to bed now? It’s almost 1:00.” James smiled sympathetically.

“No can do, Lils. We have to finish cleaning up. After all, it was our idea to have the ball. We need to have everything back to normal before breakfast tomorrow. Besides, it’s a weekend tomorrow. No classes to get up for.” Lily sleepily obliged, forcing herself to continue picking up the trash from the floor, while James washed the tables. All of the prefects had managed to sneak out of the ball right before it had ended, leaving just James and Lily to clean up the mess.

James stood up straight, wiped his dirty hands on his pants, and picked up the trophy him and Lily had won. ‘Finally,’ he thought. ‘We’re done!’ As he looked around, he realized that Lily was gone.

“Lily?” he called out. No response. He glanced around the room once again. This time, his eyes landed on the corner, furthest away. He walked over, shaking his head and laughing. Lily had curled up in the darkest corner, and was already fast asleep. Placing a levitation charm on the trophy, he leaned down and picked up the sleeping girl. He carried her up the many flights of stairs, and entered Gryffindor Tower with a “Giraffe.” The password had been changed right after the incident with Sirius, much to his annoyance, but the other Gryffindors refused to change it.

Though it was late into the night, several students were still up. Mari and Mike had sat down on one of the couches, holding hands and talking very seriously, Sirius and Arabella were snogging in the corner, and a few of the fifth years were watching an intense game of chess between Remus and Peter. Several of them came up to congratulate James on winning the dance contest, but he hushed them, not wanting to wake Lily. He walked up the stairs to the girls dorm, and pushed the door opened quietly, ignoring the other girls in the dorm. He carefully laid Lily down on her bed and sat down next to her. He picked her hand up and grasped it in his. For the next few minutes, he just sat there, watching her sleep

“Good night, Lily,” he whispered, before placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. He gave her one last, loving glance before closing the curtains around her bed and proceeding out of the room. Tiffany and Melanie sighed in unison.

“He is such a sweetie,” Melanie commented. Tiffany nodded. “Just like Remus is, huh?” she continued, smiling at Tiffany, who promptly blushed.

“I’ll tell you everything in the morning. I want to have to tell you guys at the same time.”

“Oh fine, but don’t think I’ll let you forget. I want details!” Tiffany grinned at her friend.

“Of course! G’night, Mel,” Tiffany called softly, closing her curtains.

“Good night, Tif,” Melanie replied. She turned off the light and hopped into bed.

~~~~~~~~

“I’d better be going to sleep soon. I want you to know that I had a great time tonight, Mike,” Mari admitted. “I didn’t really know what to expect - that was the first ball I ever went to. I was wicked nervous...”

“Really?” he questioned. “You didn’t act nervous at all. And I had an awesome time too. I’m so happy I finally got up the courage to ask you to dance.”

“So am I.” Their faces slowly inched forward, and then Mike’s lips were on Mari’s. Mari pulled back, a shocked expression on her face, and put a finger on her lips. They were still tingling. She abruptly stood up, and ran up the stairs to her dorm. Mike stared after her.

“What did I do wrong?” he asked aloud. Remus, who had been watching the scene out of the corner of his eye, walked over, setting himself down next to Mike. The two had seen each other around, but they had never become more than acquaintances.. Remus stuck out his hand, and Mike shook it.

“Remus Lupin. Friend of Sirius, James, and Lily.”

“Michael Corkian. Call me Mike. Beater for our team.”

“That’s what I thought. I don’t mean to intrude, and you can tell me that it’s none of my business at any time, but I was watching you and Mari for a bit,” he began. Mike groaned.

“I kissed her and she ran away. She must hate me now,” he sighed. Remus shook his head.

“No, I don’t think so. I doubt you noticed her much before this year. Don’t worry about it. No one did. She didn’t have any friends, and those who talked to her made fun of her. You’re probably the first guy she’s ever liked.”

“So you mean she might have just been surprised?” Mike asked hopefully.

“Exactly. Talk to her in the morning, and take things slow.”

“Thanks Remus.”

“But if you hurt her...” Remus didn’t need to finish the threat.

“Don’t worry, I’m not planning on it. I like her a lot. I was planning on asking her out tonight because things went so well at the dance. Maybe tomorrow, huh?” Mike joked.

“That’s what I’m hoping to do with Tiffany...” Remus trailed off. “Well, I’m off to bed. Hogsmeade tomorrow, and I need to get a few more things at Zonkos. I don’t want to be falling asleep. Good night.”

“’Night.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

Lily woke up, tangled in her sheets, breathing hard. She flung her curtains open and looked around rapidly. She was safe at Hogwarts, she knew that, but something was happening. She tried to remember her dream, only recollecting that it was about James. She shook off the feeling of dread, and slowly fell into a fitful sleep. Only twenty minutes later, she awoke again. She shivered as a sudden chill ran down her back, and she instantaneously felt more lost and alone than she had ever felt before. Not quite knowing what she was doing, she got up and made her way to the 7th year boys dorm. Taking a lucky guess, she opened the curtains to one of the beds, finding James. She shook him awake.

“James.... James!” she called frantically. “Please wake up!” He opened his eyes sleepily.

“Lily? What are you doing in here? And why are you crying?” Lily lifted a hand up to her cheek, noticing her tears for the first time.

“Don’t leave me, James,” she sobbed. James drew Lily in until she was upon his lap, and he lowered her head into his chest.

“Of course I won’t. Ever. What’s wrong, Lily?” he asked, his voice full of concern.

“It was awful, James. I was all alone at my house, and then I went downstairs, and I saw my parents there, lying on the floor, and above the roof was the skull... and then I found you, but the same thing had happened at your house and...” She found herself unable to finish, so overcome by grief.

“Oh God, Lily. I’m so sorry. But it was just a dream. Everything will be fine, I promise.”

“Thank you,” she whispered. “Can I stay with you tonight? Please?” she begged quietly. James nodded and moved over, making room for her next to him. He wrapped his arms around her protectively, as if his mere presence was enough to save Lily from any danger. And to her, it was.

~~~~~~~~~

“Well, well, well. Look who got lucky last night!” Sirius exclaimed, grinning madly. A pillow flung out from one of the beds, hitting him in the face.

“Shuddup, Sirius,” Peter muttered. “We don’t need to be awake yet. ‘Tisn’t a school day. Lemme alone.”

“But Peter,” Sirius whined. “Lily and James slept together!” Peter sat up quickly, banging his head on one of the bars.

“Ow! That hurt,” he pouted momentarily.

“You’re saying that they did it?” Remus, who had just awaken, asked incredulously.

“Looks that way to me!” Sirius said happily. He grew quiet as the mass of red hair and limbs began to move.

“Where am I?” Lily asked. James lifted his head.

“In my dorm,” he replied. Lily stared at him and then shuttered.

“Right. I remember. Thank you, James. For last night, and everything.”

“It was nothing, really,” James said, embarrassed.

“Don’t say that. It... it means a lot for me that you would willingly do that.” Lily leaned over and kissed him, before hearing catcalls from Sirius.

“How sweet... the morning after...” He trailed off, seeing a murderous look on James’ face.

“It wasn’t anything like that, Sirius. You know me well enough by now to know that. Don’t you dare say anything like that. If someone heard you saying that and believed it, it could cost both mine and Lily’s badges, possibly our schooling here, and without a doubt, I would be disowned for being such a disgrace to my family name.”

“Yeesh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it, alright?” James’ glare didn’t falter.

“It’s okay, James. He was just joking around. Now, I really need to get back to my dorm and get ready.”

“Wait... meet me in the common room once you’re ready. And take this. We don’t need anyone to start thinking like Sirius did,” James said, reaching into his trunk and pulling out a cloak made of a silvery material. Lily took it from his hand gratefully, and with a passionate kiss shared between the two of them, she slipped on the cloak, disappearing from view.

~~~~~~~~~~

Nearly half an hour later, Lily emerged from her dorm and proceeded to the common room.

“Glad you made it... I was starting to think that you weren’t coming,” James joked, kissing her lightly.

“Lily Billy!” Sirius exclaimed. She glared at him.

“Don’t even begin to think that you will get away with calling me that again...” Sirius gulped.

“Sorry, didn’t mean it!” he said quickly causing Arabella to giggle. It was so funny, the way that Sirius was always able to get himself out of trouble.

“Ready to go to Hogsmeade?” Remus chirped.

“Of course!” Lily replied.

“Are we waiting for them?” Tiffany asked, pointing at Mari, who was coming down the stairs, blushing as she saw Mike already there.

“Well, I think that they need to talk for a bit...” Remus said. Tiffany shrugged.

“Okay... Well, let’s go!” The group waved to Mari and Mike, and soon, the common room was empty, leaving the two in an awkward silence.

“Mari, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry,” Mike finally said.

“It’s...”

“No, let me finish. It was probably wrong of me to assume that you liked me that much, and I can respect that fact that you don’t. I shouldn’t have done that. And I...”

“Yes you should have,” Mari interrupted. Mike stopped abruptly, and Mari flushed with embarrassment. “I like you a lot, Mike. It’s just that, well, that was my first kiss, and you were being really sweet, and I had had such a great time, but I didn’t know if I was ready for that. I needed to be sure that you really liked me. You surprised me.”

“I do like you, Mari,” he said truthfully, looking into her eyes.

“Are you positive?” she asked hesitantly.

“I wanted to ask you out last night, but that didn’t quite work,” he said, smiling ruefully.

“Really?”

“Yeah. Would you? Be my girlfriend?” She nodded slowly, and Mike let out a whoop of delight. Grabbing her hand, he ran towards the portrait hole. “Come on, let’s go to Hogsmeade with the others.”

~~~~~~~~~

“I wanna go to Honeydukes, and then I want to go to Zonko’s, and then I want to go to Dervish & Banges, and then...” Lily paused to catch her breath.

“We’re going everywhere, Lils. Just calm down.”

“You’re no fun. This is only my second time here...”

“I know, but really.”

“Oh, fine.” The two, holding hands, made their way to the sweet shop. Lily went around, peering through the glass at each type of candy before she was ready to purchase.

“I’ll take a couple chocolate frogs, one pack of licorice wands, three ice mice, and a chunk of your chocolate,” she said to the boy at the counter.

“Hungry?” James asked from across the room, laughing.

“Of course!” The boy at the counter looked Lily up and down, and proceeded to introduce himself.

“I’m Cornelius Fudge. My friends call me Corey.”

“That’s... nice,” Lily said, rather uninterested.

“I like to think so. I’m glad you do too,” he replied. Lily glanced at James, sending him the help–me–get–rid–of–this–guy look. “That comes to eleven sickles and eight knuts. And I was wondering if you’d like to go out with me sometime? I know that we’d have lots of fun...” Upon hearing this, James walked over, and wrapped his arms around Lily’s waist, and kissed her on the neck.

“I’ll get it, honey,” he said.

“Aww, James, you don’t have to...”

“Yes I do.” He took the money out and placed it on the counter. “Thanks,” he added before picking up the bag of candy and leading Lily out of the store. “The nerve of that... that...”

“Creep?” Lily offered.

“Yeah, exactly. No one asks *my* girlfriend out,” he said possessively. Lily laughed at him.

“Come on, James. Let’s hit Zonko’s.”

~~~~~~~~

After several hours of browsing Hogsmeade, everyone slowly made their way into the Three Broomsticks.

“Madam Rosmerta!” Peter greeted, waving her over to their table. “Can we have ten butterbeers?”

“Sure,” she replied. Minutes later, the drinks appeared, much to everyone’s enjoyment.

“Potter. I hadn’t known that you could dance.” The whole table groaned as Malfoy graced them with his presence.

“Nor I, you,” James replied civilly.

“Of course, I would bet anything that your shoes were charmed,” Lucius smirked.

“Which would explain why his arms were in the right place to catch me? Don’t think so,” Lily chimed in.

“Go away, Mudblood. Go get yourself pregnant. It might be hard, but I’m sure that someone will want one of James’ sluts.” Lily was furious.

“I don’t care who you think you are, Malfoy. You have no right to talk to me that way.”

“And what are you going to do about it?” he taunted.

“Do you really want to know?”

“Try me,” Lucius challenged.

“Well, remember what I told you when I first met you?” He looked confused. “Aww... poor baby. I forgot - you can’t even remember to brush your hair in the morning, let alone what happened two months ago. I told you that if you didn’t fuck off...” Her friends gasped. Lily rarely swore, saving it for when she was incredibly mad. “Then you wouldn’t be able to knock up some poor girl. Too bad you didn’t remember, huh?” With that, she kicked him right between the legs. He doubled over in pain, causing the table to laugh.

“You’ll be sorry for that, Mudblood. I will get you back,” he snarled.

“Malfoy, didn’t you ever learn that it’s hard to take someone seriously when you just kicked them in the balls and they’re about to cry? Why don’t you just leave? Nobody actually likes you...” He glared at the redhead, but stumbled off to the table of Slytherins.

“You go girl!” Melanie said, giggling. Across the room, Lucius could still be heard.

“Why the hell didn’t you guys go do something to them?” he asked viciously.

“I hate to break up a good fight. Especially when it’s you being beaten up by a girl,” Nott said, smirking at him.

“I’m sorry... Are you alright?” Narcissia questioned sympathetically, while glaring at her brother. She scooted over in her chair, leaving room for Lucius next to her, and immediately started giving him a massage.

“And he called you a slut? What does he call her?” Mari muttered, laughing to herself. They finished their butterbeers in peace, with no further arguments or run–ins with the Slytherins.

“Let’s get out of here, you guys,” Arabella suggested.

“If that's what you want, darling,” Sirius replied.

“She really does have him whipped, doesn’t she?” Tiffany asked Remus. “He’d do anything for her.”

“That he does.” As he spoke, Remus subtly reached down and grabbed her hand in his. She smiled brightly at him.

“Remus, will you go out with me?” she asked sweetly.

“Damnit... I was supposed to be the one to ask you. Oh well, so much for impressing you with my manly bravery...” he laughed.

“Should I consider that a yes?” Tiffany inquired.

“Yup,” Remus replied. When they rejoined the group, no one noticed the slight change in their relationship, which was fine with them. They had always been the quieter ones, and they didn’t want it broadcast to the whole world that they were now a couple. Everyone else would find out on their own time.

~~~~~~~~

The next evening found Lily and James sitting in the common room, quite bored. Remus was defending his chess champion title against Peter like always, and everyone else had coupled themselves off. Suddenly, Daphne entered the room, searching it quickly. It was rare for their head to venture into the room, so right away, all the Gryffindors concluded that something was up.

“Lily, James...” she paused. “Dumbledore needs to talk to you. Immediately.” James looked up, a worried expression on his face.

“What’s the matter?” he asked. Daphne shook her head.

“He didn’t give me any details. I told you just about everything he said. It might just be something for you guys as Head students.”

“Well, we’d better go, James,” Lily said nervously. They walked out of the common room, side by side.

“I hope everything will be alright,” Daphne sighed. She glanced around the room, making sure everything was in order. Seeing that it was, she left as quickly as she had come, praying that nothing too awful had happened to Lily and James.

~~~~~~~~

Lily looked at the gargoyle that led to Dumbledore’s office.

“James, I’m scared,” she admitted, looking up into his eyes. He reached out a grabbed both of her hands, squeezing them comfortingly.

“I know. So am I. Daphne looked pretty serious.”

“She really did. James, what if something horrible has happened? I don’t know what I’d do...”

“Whatever it is, we’re going through it together. We’ll be alright.”

“Thanks, James,” she said, smiling gratefully at him. Muttering the password “Chocolate Frog,” they entered simultaneously.

“James, Lily, please sit down,” came Dumbledore’s kind voice. They did as they were told.

“Professor, is anything wrong?” James questioned.

“I’m afraid that I have some bad news for you two,” he said, looking at them gravely. Lily swallowed nervously. Dumbledore continued. “This morning, there was a double attack by the Death Eaters, Voldemort’s followers. Sadly, your families were the victims. Lily, your sister, Petunia survived. It turns out that she was at a friend’s house. You sister survived too, James. But everyone else... I’m very sorry.” Lily stood up suddenly.

“Oh my god. This is all my fault. All because of me,” she repeated over and over again. James looked up, fighting against tears.

“It’s not your fault. It’s all because of damn Voldemort,” he spat.

“James is right, Lily,” Dumbledore added.

“No. You’re wrong. I killed our families. I am a murderer. This is all my fault.” With a final glance, Lily ran out of the room, sobbing.

“James? Do you know what she’s talking about?” Dumbledore inquired.

“Two nights ago, she came into my dorm sobbing...” James started slowly. “She started telling me that she had dreamed that she was at her house, and went downstairs only to find her parents dead, and the skull over her house. In the dream, she found me, and the same thing had happened to me as well. I... I didn’t think anything of it at the time.”

“Oh dear,” Dumbledore sighed. “Lily predicted their deaths, and now she feels responsible.”

“But it’s not her fault.” Dumbledore didn’t say anything. “You don’t even care, do you?” James yelled. He glared at the old man. “I have to go.” James sprinted out of the door, leaving the headmaster staring at his retreating back.

~~~~~~~~~~

Lily was lost in a panic. ‘All my fault, all my fault,’ she chanted in her head. She reached the entrance of her tower.

“Thank you for nothing,” she said sarcastically. The door opened and she ran up the stairs. As she reached the top, she put on foot on the window, and climbed onto of the pointed roof. A bitting wind hit her hard, nearly blowing her off, and she smiled bitterly. She stood up, flinging her arms out.

“Are you happy now, Voldemort?” she screamed. “You took my mother away from me, the only person who loved me. Why didn’t you just kill me instead? Why the hell should I live now?” She shivered, suddenly realizing how cold it was. ‘For James,’ the wind seemed to sing. Lily laughed heartlessly.

“Live for James? He hates me now. I killed his parents. I’m no better than you, Voldemort. I could have saved them. I could have saved their lives. But I was too selfish. I just wanted my sleep. All it would have taken was two letters. Two fucking letters! Just telling them to go hide. And I didn’t! I murdered them! It’s all my fault.” Her voice was hoarse from screaming. She looked downward at the dizzying height. A fall would certainly kill her. She raised her head to the heavens, mocking them with her smirk, and jumped.

~~~~~~~~~~

Severus heard someone screaming, the sound reaching him by the wind. Cursing his already horrible headache, he grabbed his coat and found his way outside in an attempt to find the screamer and shut them up. He glanced upwards, and in shock, noticed someone falling from one of the highest towers. He quickly pulled out his wand, and aiming it at the ground, he cast a simple cushioning charm. The body hit the ground with a sickening thud.

“Lily?” he gasped. She glared at him, sitting up with as much determination as she could muster up.

“Why didn’t you let me die? I have nothing to live for, nothing!”

“That’s not true...”

“I bet you were there, weren’t you? Everything you told me before was a lie. You’re a Death Eater and you helped kill them, damnit!” Lily shrieked. “I bet you enjoyed every minute of it. Well, learn this now; I will kill whoever was there with my own hands, you hear me? I will kill them!” She suddenly collapsed, hitting her head on a rock, and Severus scrambled to catch her. He picked her up, and hurried inside. Something had gone terribly wrong, and he needed to get Lily help. James appeared in front of him, looking a mess, with tear streaked eyes, rumbled clothing, and his hair messier than usual.

“Give her to me, Snape,” he demanded. Severus pretended not to hear him. “I said give her to me, and I mean it,” he said menacingly. Severus shook his head.

“You’re having trouble supporting your own weight, Potter. You can’t carry her and she certainly can’t walk on her own, not after that drop.” James stared at him.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“She tried to kill herself. She jumped from one of the towers up there. I need to get her to the hospital wing. You better go there yourself. You look awful.” Severus started toward the infirmary, James following mutely, in shock. *His* Lily had tried to kill herself. That was the last thing he needed. Another death on top of those of his family.

~~~~~~~~~~~

They reached the hospital wing in record time and began to beat on the door, willing the nurse to hurry.

“Madam McKnight!” Severus called frantically. The nurse popped out of a side room.

“Oh dear, what happened to this one?” she asked worriedly.

“She jumped off one of the towers. Tried to kill herself. I managed to put a cushioning charm on the ground, enough to save her, but then she collapsed and hit her head on a rock.”

“Do you know what caused this?” the nurse asked.

“I do,” James said. “This morning Voldemort...” Madam McKnight inhaled sharply at the use of his name. “Well, there was a double attack. Both of our families, excluding our sisters, and well... she blames herself.” Severus gasped. ‘Poor Lily.’ At least now he could interpret what she had said to him.

“Set her down on one of the beds. She’ll need to be here for a while. James, you’d better stay too. You’ve both been through a lot.” Severus and James walked to the back of the infirmary, and laid Lily carefully down on a bed nearest the window. James drew up a chair, setting it right next to Lily’s bed. He grabbed her hand, and laid his head down next to it. He had let her down. He had promised to always be there for her, and he hadn’t been.

“James, go lie down,” Madam McKnight commanded softly. He shook his head.

“No. I’m staying with her until she can leave. I don’t care what you say.”

“She might have a concussion. Might even be in a slight coma. It’s going to be a while. Please lie down?”

“I can’t. Don’t ask me again.” The nurse glanced at him warily, but realized that there was nothing she could do.

“Alright. Then stay.”

~~~~~~~~~~~