Access

~*~

Afterwards, Sirius could never remember leaving the Ministry of Magic. He supposed that he must have gone through the Visitors' Exit and been deposited in the telephone box, but it was all a blur. The first thing he recalled was standing on the street outside, thinking of James's dead body on the ground and Peter's betrayal; and everything that had happened to him since he had come across both those things simultaneously, and seeing Remus leaning against the doors of one of the scruffy old offices, waiting for him. He took a few steps towards him, and then - and afterwards Sirius remembered this part very clearly indeed - Remus moved away from the doorway and came closer. He moved quite slowly, and Sirius had time to see that Remus's face was white with exhaustion and his eyes were full of worry. Then Remus's arms were around him - he was very cold, Sirius noticed, he must have been stood waiting for a long time - and his face was buried in Remus's neck and he was muttering 'I'm so sorry, Remus, so sorry,' over and over again and for the second time in less than twenty-four hours he could feel his eyes filling with tears. And all the time Remus just stood there holding him very tightly and whispering under his breath that he was here now, that everything would be alright.

*

Later - much, much later it seemed to Sirius - he was sitting on a grubby sofa and Remus was pushing a cup of tea into his hands. It was Remus's favourite cup, Sirius noticed, the one with the pictures of Quidditch balls that actually moved. He looked up as Remus sat down next to him. Remus still looked tired, but the worry in his eyes had been replaced by sadness.

For a moment neither spoke. Sirius gazed around the room and thought how odd it was, that Remus and his books and teacups and the madly waving pictures of his family should have ended up in this little room with its threadbare carpet and cheap Muggle gas fire.

Sirius looked up at Remus again. Remus met his eye and for a moment Sirius thought he was going to reach out and take his hand, but he didn't.

'What happened?' said Remus.

Sirius took a deep breath and looked down at his tea.

'Well, I don't know how much you already know,' he began.

'Just that - just about James and Lily. And that Peter...and you didn't...you weren't...'

'I wouldn't've done that, Remus. Not James. Not to Voldemort.' The lump in his throat made it difficult for him to speak above a whisper.

'I'm sorry,' said Remus quietly, 'for ever thinking that you would have.'

'It's no worse than anything I thought of you,' Sirius mumbled to his teacup. 'I wish you'd said something, or I'd said something, and we could have fought it out and seen that neither of us would ever really have done that, and then maybe... maybe things would have been different...' His voice trailed away.

'When did you realise it was Peter?' Remus asked.

'It had to be,' Sirius replied tiredly. ' We decided a few days before - before Voldemort found out - that I should switch with Peter and he should be the Secret-Keeper instead. We thought that, because I was James's best friend, Voldemort was less likely to go after Peter.' He laughed bitterly. 'He had us all fooled, didn't he? The little traitor. I'm only sorry the Ministry wizards found me when they did because they denied me the pleasure of killing him.'

His hands shook with anger and spilt tea all down his robes.

'So anyway,' he continued, 'when I saw what had happened I knew that Peter had betrayed us, and I was so angry, because it was my fault, Remus, if only I'd stopped James switching, or if only I'd had the sense to realise that you'd never go over to the Dark side, then James and Lily would still be alive.'

Sirius buried his face in his hands. After a moment, he felt Remus move closer and Remus's hand on his shoulder.

He took another deep breath and continued.

'I went after Peter, and I found him in some Muggle street. I don't know what he was doing there. Maybe looking for Muggles to torture or something. It's what Death Eaters do, isn't it?

'Anyway, I - I confronted him, and I expected him to deny it, coward that he is, but he didn't. He looked me in the eye and told me what he had done. Then he raised his wand and he must have been going to curse me but I was quicker than him and I hexed him and he dropped his wand. He went after it but I got to him first and I just started hitting him as hard as I could, like James and I used to sometimes when we fell out at school. And then I thought, this isn't some silly schoolboy fight, this is real life, and he's just caused the death of my best friend. So I went for my wand and I would have killed him, I really would, only then I heard shouting and a lot of people running up behind us. It must have been the people from the Ministry and I think they must have Stunned us both because the next thing I remember is sitting in some room in the Ministry with Barty Crouch standing over me forcing me to drink Veritaserum.

'They took my wand away and Crouch asked me questions for hours. He wanted to know all about the Secret-Keeping, and why we'd switched, and he kept asking me if I had ever worked for Voldemort, or passed on secrets, or anything. I kept telling him that I hadn't but I wasn't sure he believed me. Veritaserum isn't always reliable, is it? Or I suppose he could have thought Voldemort had cursed me so I could resist it.

'He made me repeat myself over and over again, and then after a few hours he left, and some woman I didn't know came in and asked me the same questions. I suppose she'd been asking Peter things when Crouch was with me. I talked and talked and answered all their stupid questions and my mouth was so dry but no one offered me anything to drink. I was getting quite worked up by this point. I couldn't understand why they didn't believe me about Peter and why I was still there. Then she started asking me about my family. When I wouldn't tell her anything other than that they're all pure evil, joining the Death Eaters was the stupidest thing Regulus ever did in a lifetime of doing stupid things and I haven't spoken to my mother in over five years, she stopped asking.

'Then eventually she left too and I was on my own in that little room. I couldn't think of anything except James and Peter and what would happen if they didn't believe me. You know what Crouch is like. I'm lucky he didn't throw me straight to the Dementors without bothering with Veritaserum or questions or anything, but I suppose they had to find out whether it was really Peter or me they should be after.

'I paced round the room for ages. There weren't any windows so I couldn't see what time of day it was. I've no idea how long I was there, but in the end the woman came back, gave me my wand and said I could go. I asked her what had happened but she wouldn't say, just showed me out. And then... then I must have gone outside and I saw you waiting for me.'

This time, Remus did reach across and take Sirius's hand.

'What about you?' said Sirius. 'Why were you at the Ministry? How did you know where I was?'

'Dumbledore told me,' Remus replied. 'He came here last night and told me about Lily and James. At first I thought that you had done it, you'd betrayed them, but Dumbledore said it might not have been like that. He didn't explain any more, just said I should go to the Ministry with him. When we got there he said he had to find out what had happened, and I should wait outside. If - if it wasn't you, he said, you'd come out. I don't know how long I waited for. I stood against that door for hours and I was freezing cold but I kept thinking about Dumbledore saying there was a chance that you weren't the spy and I couldn't leave until I knew one way or the other. And then you came outside and I've never been so pleased to see anyone in my life.'

'Maybe he knew,' said Sirius. 'Maybe James and Lily told him they switched.'

Remus nodded in agreement. 'You're very lucky if they did.'

They sat in silence for a while, Remus still holding Sirius's hand.

'What happens now?' Sirius said eventually. 'With Voldemort and everything?'

'He's gone, Sirius,' said Remus. 'He vanished, or died, or something, when he tried to kill Harry. Dumbledore told me that, but he doesn't know what happened, if he's gone for good or if he'll ever come back.'

Sirius was suddenly overcome with guilt. He had been so wrapped up in James's death and Peter turning traitor and explaining himself to Remus that he had almost forgotten what was happening to Harry.

'Harry!' he said. 'Remus, do you know what's happening to Harry? He's been sent to those dreadful Muggle relations of his. Lily's sister, do you remember her?'

'The blonde girl? The one who sat through Lily and James's wedding looking at us like we were going to hex her or something? Why on earth is Harry going to them?'

'I don't know. I saw Hagrid at Godric's Hollow - he was taking Harry there. On Dumbledore's orders apparently. I tried to get him to let me take Harry, but he wouldn't. And then I was so angry with Peter and couldn't think of anything except him, so it was probably just as well. It wouldn't have been safe for a baby. But now it's all sorted out we can do something properly.'

Remus looked at him, half-smiling at his sudden enthusiasm. 'What were you thinking?' he asked.

'Well, we could take him, couldn't we? We're all he has now, apart from the Muggles, and you can't tell me they'll be happy about taking him in.'

'Us? Look after Harry?' Remus's smile turned to a grin. 'Better us than the Muggles, anyway.'

Sirius's face lit up. 'You think it's a good idea? You'd do it? With me?'

Remus nodded. 'Of course.'

'Right. That's that then. Now all we have to do is sort things out with Dumbledore.'

*

Remus had never seen anyone shout at Dumbledore the way Sirius was doing.

He had been alternately shouting and pleading for over an hour, ever since Dumbledore had told them that there could be no question of Harry taking up residence with them; that, for his own safety, he had to live with the Muggles.

'You think he'll be safer with the Muggles, do you?' Sirius bellowed, his face red. 'That stuck-up sister of Lily's and her overweight husband who'll treat him like a freak because of what he is? Oh yes, such a happy life he'll have. You must be so pleased at the thought of him, escaping Voldemort only to end up with them.'

Despite the barrage of insults coming his way, Dumbledore remained calm and allowed Sirius to shout himself hoarse. He would, Remus knew, eventually run out of breath and offensive names. Clearly Dumbledore was aware of this too, as he waited until Sirius finally paused for more than two seconds before continuing his explanation.

'Sirius, I know that you and Remus would do everything you could to make Harry happy. I know that you would guard him with your lives, the way his parents did. I would go as far as to say that I wish I could entrust Harry to your care. But I cannot do that. For his own safety, he must remain with his aunt and uncle. They are the only relations he has left.'

Sirius looked as though he would like to continue the argument, so Remus jumped in before he could open his mouth.

'Why are you concerned about him, Dumbledore?' he asked. 'Are you worried about stray Death Eaters who've escaped Azkaban, or do you think that - that Voldemort might come back one day?'

Dumbledore was silent for a moment. He looked as serious as Remus had ever seen him, and the twinkle in his eye was almost gone.

'Yes, Remus,' he said eventually. 'Yes, I think he will come back. I don't know where and I don't know when, but I think he'll be back. So you see, don't you, why it's so important that Harry is kept safe?'

'It's so frustrating, though!' Sirius burst out before Remus could reply. 'I mean, here we are, more than willing to take Harry on and make him happy, but instead he's got to go and be safe with the Muggles, and spend the next ten years miserable as anything. It's not fair!'

Dumbledore looked at them thoughtfully.

'If you would like it,' he said slowly, 'it can be arranged that you remain in contact with Harry. Perhaps you could visit him at his aunt and uncle's house. That way, he will still have the protection that comes from living there, but at the same time will know that there are people who care about him. Left to his aunt and uncle alone, I fear that would not be the case.'

He beamed at them both, the twinkle restored.

'An excellent solution! I shall be in touch about arrangements.'

'Do you think the Muggles would like us visiting?' Remus wondered.

'Leave that to me,' said Dumbledore, and with a wink, he was gone.

*

They never found out quite how Dumbledore persuaded the Dursleys to allow them to see Harry. He merely turned up one night a few weeks before Christmas and told them that everything was in place.

'Harry's aunt and uncle have agreed to you seeing Harry, though they do wish there to be certain - er - conditions placed on this. Firstly, it is their wish that Harry comes here rather than you going to their home; I believe they are concerned about what the neighbours would think if you two were regular visitors to Privet Drive. Also, they do not want Harry exposed to any of 'that unnatural magical nonsense,' as they put it. They seem to feel that if they pretend it doesn't exist they will be able to prevent Harry from becoming a wizard. Whilst we know this to be ridiculous, I would recommend that you keep magic to a minimum when Harry is around. He will be spending the next ten years living as a Muggle, after all.'

*

'Unnatural magical nonsense!' muttered Sirius angrily when Dumbledore had left. 'The only abnormalities I can think of are those bloody Dursleys.'

'Lily always did say her sister hated her being a witch,' said Remus. 'I bet they got a nasty shock when they found Harry on their doorstep.'

'Poor Harry. Well, at least we can do something to make him happier, even if we can't take him away from them altogether. What do you think about us having him for Christmas?'

Remus smiled. 'That'd be nice. We could have presents, and a Christmas tree, and decorate the house with snow and icicles and - no, Dumbledore would probably call that too much magic. I don't think Muggles have snow and icicles and singing gnomes at Christmas.'

'We'll just have to try and have a Muggle Christmas, then. No snowmen inside, no singing gnomes, no fairies... oh well, we can still make the place look good. And as long as Harry enjoys it, I suppose it doesn't really matter.'

~*~

The Dursleys refused to allow Harry to spend his Christmas with Remus and Sirius, saying that they had their own family to see to and could not be carting Harry all over London. Consequently, it was not until almost the end of January that the two of them were waiting on a street corner for Harry to arrive, the collars of their Muggle overcoats turned up against the rain. Remus was holding a large umbrella, Sirius the handles of a pushchair.

'I doubt they'll provide him with anything of his own,' he had said, 'so we'd better make sure we have anything he might need.'

This had necessitated a visit to the Muggle shops, as the list grew to include items like a cooker - 'so we can make him meals without magic when he's old enough to notice' - a refrigerator - 'I don't suppose Dumbledore'll want us using Cooling Charms with Harry about' and a large amount of presents suitable for an eighteen-month-old wizard boy being brought up without magic. They had also purchased a cot and had spent several days preparing a room for Harry 'in case he ever spends the night with us.'

Along with all these they had bought a large quantity of Christmas decorations, both Muggle and wizarding. Despite Dumbledore's request that they did not use too much magic, the Christmas tree they had positioned in the lounge was far too large to have been put there by hand and some of the decorations hung more precariously from the ceiling than you would expect of those put up without a Sticking Charm. Sirius had discovered, to his delight, that Muggles did have fairy-lights after all, albeit not of the real-live-fairy variety, and had spent several hours happily draping them round the house, only to find that no sooner did he turn them on than they all went out. He ended up poking them with his wand and causing them to shine far brighter than they were probably intended to, but with the tinsel they had bought in liberal quantities they made a very cheerful display.

*

They waited almost twenty minutes in the rain before a car pulled up where they stood and Vernon Dursley climbed out, fatter and redder than either of them remembered. Remus winced and Sirius scowled as he pulled Harry roughly out of the back. Harry began to cry. Sirius reached out for him but before he handed the baby over, Vernon snapped 'I want him back here at seven. I can't wait round all night for him. And if I find you've been telling him about that unnaturalness I'll -'

'Yeah? What will you do, Dursley?' snarled Sirius.

Vernon swelled up more than ever, shoved Harry into Sirius's arms and got back into his car, muttering under his breath about freaks and lunatics. He slammed the door behind him and drove off very fast, leaving Remus and Sirius to calm Harry's howls.

Sirius balanced Harry on his hip and started pulling funny faces at him in an attempt to stop him crying. It took a few moments, but eventually his sobs turned to sniffles and then, when Sirius tried to touch his nose with his tongue, to a rather watery smile. Remus burst out laughing at the sight, and after a minute Harry joined in. Sirius beamed at him in delight.

'See, he remembers us! You do remember us, don't you, Harry?'

'He could hardly forget - you used to spend hours pulling silly faces at him.'

'You should try it. He loves it!'

By this time, Harry was babbling away to himself happily. Remus, feeling rather foolish, screwed up his face the way Sirius had done and was rewarded with a cackle of laughter.

'Told you so.'

*

When they arrived home, Sirius insisted they give Harry a tour of the entire house.

'Stimulation, remember, Moony? Like it said in that book Lily had when she was pregnant - well, you should know, you read it first. Babies need stimulation and attention, and as I don't suppose he'll get any from his dear aunt and uncle it's all down to us.'

As Remus had, after all, spent the first fifteen months of Harry's life taking every chance he could to read out loud to him in order to keep him stimulated, he agreed, and so he and Sirius spent Harry's first hour with them showing him his room, the Christmas decorations - he especially liked the enormous tree - and finally a great pile of presents on the living room floor.

'Remember last year,' said Remus, 'when James was opening all those presents with him and all he wanted to do was rip the wrapping paper up.'

'Yeah, I remember,' said Sirius, helping Harry to tear the paper off a large and colourful Muggle plastic toy. Harry squealed happily when Remus demonstrated how it made a noise as it moved. 'Wonderful what Muggles think of without magic, isn't it?'

The day after Sirius's release from the Ministry of Magic was the only time they had ever really discussed James and Lily. Since then, they had thrown themselves completely into preparing for Harry's visits. Until now, if either of them had remembered the last Christmas at Godric's Hollow, they had not said.

'I miss him, Remus,' Sirius said suddenly. 'He was my best friend for ten years and now he's gone, it's ... odd. I keep thinking he's just gone away or something and any day now his head'll be stuck in the fireplace and he'll be shouting "Oi, Padfoot! Are you still in bed, you lazy git?" the way he always used to. And even though I know he won't be there I can't help staring at it sometimes and hoping that maybe today will be the day he'll come back.' He sighed. 'It just seems strange; life goes on and the world keeps turning but James Potter's dead and it's like nothing happened.'

'Somehow you don't expect everyone to carry on with their lives, do you?' Remus agreed. 'You feel so awful and you can't understand why no-one else feels the same.'

At their feet, James Potter's son sprinkled the carpet with the set of poster paints that had been bought, despite a warning on the label that they were unsuitable for children under three, to nurture his undoubted artistic talents. Sirius wiped green and yellow spots off his feet with the palm of his hand and smiled down at Harry.

'He already looks just like James, doesn't he, Moony?'

*

At seven they were waiting once again for Vernon Dursley, Harry half asleep in Sirius's arms. The car pulled up, showering them with water from a puddle by the side of the road. When he got out, Vernon eyed them warily, as though he expected to be turned into a slug at any moment.

'I hope you haven't over-excited him or he'll keep us up all night,' was all he said.

Remus had to clench his fists together to stop himself reaching for his wand and hexing Vernon into the middle of next week; from the way he could almost hear Sirius gritting his teeth together he could tell they both felt the same.

*

The second time Harry visited, he recognised them almost immediately and chattered away to them as they fastened him into the pushchair. It being the beginning of April by now, they had decided to take him to the park for a picnic. As they strolled along they talked continually to Harry, pointing out things as they passed them, and were delighted on the occasions when he repeated what he heard, convinced it meant something to him. He seemed particularly fond of dogs, and the walk would pause every few hundred yards to allow him to stroke one; after Sirius demonstrated loudly the noise dogs made this would be accompanied by shouts of 'Woof! Woof! Woof!'

'Shame we can't introduce Harry to Padfoot,' Remus murmured. 'Looks like the two of you would get along very well.'

'It is, rather,' agreed Sirius. 'I can't see that going down well, though, can you? You can see it now - Harry telling the Muggle children at school about his godfather turning into a dog. They'd think he was mad.'

'Not to mention that old Dursley would probably explode at the thought of the unnaturalness of it all.'

'You make that sound like a bad thing, Moony.'

*

After they had finished their picnic they wandered down to the lake to feed the ducks. Harry, who had been rather enthusiastic about learning more animal noises and had been entertained throughout the meal by Remus and Sirius showing him as many as they could think of, ran ahead calling 'Quack quack!' at the top of his voice. He was very taken with the ducks and their ducklings and seemed quite happy to stand there throwing bread at them for over an hour. Eventually they ran out and Remus was obliged to surreptitiously conjure some more when Harry's back was turned.

When it began to rain, they pulled him away from the ducks with the promise of splashing in puddles. Long before they were home all three were soaking wet.

It's such a pity, thought Remus as he spread their clothes in front of the fire to dry before they delivered Harry back to his aunt and uncle, that Muggles haven't invented a quicker way of drying things.

In the bathroom, Sirius's thoughts ran in a similar direction. It's such a pity, he said to himself as he scrubbed the mud off Harry's legs, that I can't use a Cleaning Charm. I'd shift this in two seconds. I can't imagine how Muggles manage...

~*~

Gradually they settled into a routine with Harry's visits. Dumbledore would let them know when to expect him, he would be handed over by Vernon Dursley and they would take him off and treat him to all kinds of things they were sure his aunt and uncle would not bother with. It often made them angry, seeing him turn up in clothes far too big for him with his glasses Sellotaped together. The first time this had happened Sirius asked him how they got that way.

'Dudley broke them,' he replied.

'Was it an accident?' asked Remus, before Sirius could leap in and start shouting.

'No,' said Harry. 'He pushed me over and they broke, so Aunt Petunia had to stick them up.'

'Does - does he often break your things?'

'He smashes up my toys sometimes.' Harry's lower lip trembled.

Remus took a deep breath, pulled Harry onto his knee and tried to keep his voice calm and cheerful.

'Tell you what, Harry. Why don't you leave your favourite toys here and let me and Sirius look after them? That way Dudley won't be able to get to them. How's about that?'

Harry nodded.

'Excellent!' said Sirius. He leaned across to Harry and whispered, 'Remus is desperate to get his hands on your singing dinosaur!'

*

'I just wish there was something more we could do for him,' said Remus later that night, after Harry had been sent back to Privet Drive with promises of an entire room to keep his toys in the next time he came. 'I hate thinking of him living with them, knowing they let that dreadful son bully him and knock him about, they don't get him proper clothes, they don't give a damn about him. It's ridiculous.'

'I feel so bloody useless,' said Sirius, throwing himself down on the settee next to Remus. 'I wish I could go and knock some sense into that great oaf Dursley, but then I'd just make Dumbledore angry, and quite possibly be arrested by the Department of Magical Law Enforcement for Muggle-baiting.'

'I don't think you could knock sense into him if you tried.'

'I'm glad James and Lily can't see this,' said Sirius sadly. 'They'd be heartbroken if they knew what was happening to their son.'

'I'm glad Dumbledore let us see him. At least that way he knows there are some people who care about him, and we can make sure he has fun when he's with us. Imagine what his life would be like if he didn't have us.'

*

Not long after Harry's fourth birthday, which had been celebrated by a visit to the fairground, he started school. Both Remus and Sirius had found the prospect of this fascinating.

'What do they learn at school, Muggle children?' wondered Remus the night before Harry was due to start. 'Apart from, you know, reading and writing and adding up numbers and things. What else? How to manage without magic?'

'Harry doesn't need to know that. And anyway, how can they learn how to manage without magic if they don't know it exists?'

'Good point. Well, you're the one who insisted on doing a NEWT in Muggle Studies. You ought to have an idea.'

'Oh come on, Moony, you know I only did that because I knew how much it would annoy my mother. Even I'd never heard some of the names she started calling me when I told her that one.'

Remus laughed. 'I can imagine. But you did something about Muggle education, didn't you? I'm sure I remember you saying how glad you were to go to Hogwarts instead of a Muggle school.'

Sirius screwed up his face in an effort to remember. 'Well, we did something... they might learn about history. Like History of Magic, only it'll be History of Muggles I suppose.'

'That'll be very boring then. What else?'

'Stuff about where places are. It had a funny name but I don't remember it. Though I could sort-of see the point, because if you're Apparating you need to know where you're going, don't you? Not that Muggles can Apparate, but you know what I mean. And then... then they do stuff about plants and animals and things, but I didn't think that sounded anything like as interesting as Care of Magical Creatures. Oh yes, and they have classes all about reading books.'

'That sounds more like it. Shame we couldn't have lessons like that.'

Sirius rolled his eyes. 'Thought you'd like the sound of that, Moony. Well, never mind, you can get Harry to tell you all about them.'

*

The first time they saw Harry after he started school, he came bearing several large pieces of paper covered in splots of paint.

'These are for you,' he said, thrusting the papers at Sirius. 'See, this is me an' you an' Remus at the fair. This one' - he indicated a pink sheet painted so heavily it still had spots of damp - 'is the candyfloss you bought me.'

Sirius examined the sheets more closely. He could just about make out three figures, two large and one small. In Harry's representation of him he had hair almost down to his waist and ridiculously long arms. Remus, on the other hand, had escaped with only feet the size of paving stones. The smallest figure stood in between the larger ones and Harry had obscured most of his face with his depiction of his glasses. All three hovered in mid-air against a brightly coloured background which Sirius took to be one of the tents at the fairground.

'Those are lovely, Harry,' he said. 'I like this one - is that when we were on the hoopla stall?'

Harry nodded eagerly.

'We should stick them up somewhere, then we can always see them,' said Remus.

'Aunt Petunia sticks Dudley's paintings on the wall with drawing pins, but only in the kitchen, 'cause it'd make a mess in the other rooms,' Harry explained.

Drawing pins? How can you draw with a pin, and why would it help you stick things up? wondered Sirius.

Oh, if only I could use my wand thought Remus. Out loud, he said, 'I don't know if we've got any, um, drawing pins at the minute, but we'll definitely stick these pictures up as soon as we can.'

'How are you liking school, anyway, Harry?' asked Sirius.

Harry considered a moment. 'My teacher's nice. She's called Miss Clement. She gave me a smiley face 'cause I knew how to write all my name and she reads us stories an' tells us about her kittens.'

Remus, who had spent several hours instructing Harry in the art of writing his name, and other simple words, beamed in pride. He had been rather enthusiastic about this and had scrawled 'Harry James Potter' over every scrap of paper he could lay his hands on.

'What sort of things do you do?'

'Lots of painting and colouring. I like that loads. Last week we were allowed to paint with our hands. That was brilliant. And we read books about Roger Red-Hat and Billy Blue-Hat and some other children in a village.'

'Funny names,' murmured Sirius.

'They're not as good as the books you an' Remus read with me.'

'What about the other children? Have you made some friends?' Remus asked.

Harry looked down at the floor.

'They're alright,' he mumbled, scuffing the toe of his shoe along the carpet.

'Do you play with them at play-time?' asked Sirius.

'S'pose so,' said Harry, still talking to his knees. 'Edward Jones let me use his special colouring crayons last week.'

'Well, that's good, isn't it? Do you like Edward Jones?'

Harry didn't answer.

'Harry, are the other children unkind to you?'

A tear ran down Harry's cheek and fell onto his knee.

'It's all right if they are, Harry,' Remus added gently. 'You can tell Sirius and me about it.'

Harry buried his face in the arm of the settee and began to cry. Sirius leaned over and wrapped his arms round him, rocking him backwards and forwards and rubbing his back the way he used to when Harry was a baby. When he was calm enough to speak, he pulled his face out of Sirius's shoulder and said, 'Y-you're not angry, are you?'

'Why would we be angry, Harry?' asked Sirius, dabbing at Harry's cheeks with a tissue.

'Uncle V-vernon and Aunt Petunia d-don't l-like it if I cry,' Harry sniffed. 'It m-makes them angry.'

'Luckily for you, and for us too, come to think of it, Remus and I aren't anything like your aunt and uncle. So are you going to tell us about it?'

'What do the other children do to you?' said Remus.

'N-nothing really. T-they just d-don't w-want to p-play with me.'

'Do you know why that is, Harry?'

''C-cause D-dudley hits them if they do!' wailed Harry, burying his head once again in Sirius's chest.

'Don't the teachers notice?' said Remus miserably.

'Don't they hit him back?' asked Sirius.

'N-no! H-he does it in the p-playground, and no one sees. And no one h-hits b-back 'cause he's the b-biggest. H-he trod on Edward Jones's f-fingers for l-letting me use his crayons.'

Both Remus and Sirius wished heartily that they had spoken to Dumbledore about the possibility of Harry and Dudley going to school separately. If anyone could have persuaded the Dursleys it would have been him. How on earth could you explain to a four-year-old child about bullies and make him understand? How on earth, for that matter, could you stop the four-year-old child being bullied and allow him to make friends on his own? And how on earth could you let the four-year-old child know that eventually he would go to another school, make some friends and, if he was anything like as good as his parents at magic, scare Dudley far more than Dudley ever managed to scare him? Seven years would seem like a lifetime to any four-year-old, but seven years with no friends and a bullying cousin might as well be seven hundred.

'Why can't I live with you and Remus, Sirius?' Harry asked suddenly.

Sirius sighed. 'It's complicated, Harry. We both wish you could, but you can't. We'll explain when you're a bit older.'

'I wish I didn't have to live with Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia and Dudley.'

'I know, Harry, I know.'

'Is it because I haven't got a mummy and daddy? All the other children at school have mummies and daddies. I wish I did.'

'I wish you did too. Your mummy and daddy were some of my best friends.'

'Is that why I can come and see you? Because you knew them?'

'That's right. But you have to live with your aunt now, because she was your mummy's sister, and we were only her friends.'

That way there's more of a chance that you'll make it to Hogwarts alive, Sirius thought. He understood why Harry could not live with them, but at times like this it was very hard to have to sit by and watch his life being made miserable by what was left of his family.

'I'm glad I c'n still see you sometimes,' Harry murmured sleepily.

'So are we, Harry,' Sirius replied. I'm just glad we can do something to make you happy.

~*~

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

27^th June 1987

Dear Remus and Sirius,

I have just received, via Arabella Figg, the news that Mr and Mrs Dursley are planning a holiday for themselves and their son between 15^th July and 29^th July. Their usual course of action at such times is to leave Harry in the care of Mrs Figg; however this is currently impossible due to Mrs Figg having to leave the country herself on urgent family business.

As the Dursleys do not, in their own words I believe, wish to 'take that damned trouble-causing boy away with us,' I was wondering if the two of you would take care of Harry whilst his aunt and uncle are on holiday. If you would like it I can arrange for you to take him on holiday yourselves; I have a feeling Harry may enjoy a fortnight by the sea without the company of his family.

Let me know your decision so I am able to make any necessary arrangements.

Hoping you are both well,

Albus Dumbledore

*

'I've never been on holiday before,' said Harry, bouncing up and down on his seat. 'Or on a train. I like trains. Look, look, you can see the backs of all the houses as we go by! And the fields, and trees, and everything!'

Remus and Sirius smiled at his enthusiasm. He had been very excited all day, ever since a scowling Vernon Dursley had unceremoniously dumped him on their doorstep with his suitcase earlier that morning, Petunia and Dudley eyeing them apprehensively from the car.

'And I don't have to go to Mrs Figg's! This is brilliant!'

'Don't you like Mrs Figg, Harry?' asked Remus.

'She's all right, I suppose. She just has too many cats and her house smells funny. And I have to look at stupid pictures of the ones that've died.'

Remus bit his lip to stop himself from smiling.

'What do you reckon to this hotel, Harry?' said Sirius, spreading out the pictures Dumbledore had sent with their train tickets. 'Look at this - right by the sea, swimming pools, massive rooms with - those things you watch pictures on - '

'Televisions, Sirius,' supplied Remus.

'Yeah, that's right, televisions. And then nearby you've got fairground rides, parks, crazy golf, whatever that is, and loads of other things.'

'Can't wait to see the sea!' sang Harry. 'And we can build sandcastles. Children in books always make sandcastles, but I never have till now.'

'Sandcastles?' Remus said under his breath. 'Sounds like we're in for an interesting holiday, Padfoot.'

*

For two wizards spending a fortnight in the Muggle world, Remus and Sirius thought they managed to cope rather well. Harry certainly did not seem to notice anything odd; he found using the television remote control as interesting as Remus did ('Dudley never lets me anywhere near his TV and I've always wanted a go') and was more than happy to count out money for Sirius, who became hopelessly confused by Muggle currency very quickly ('Aunt Marge gives Dudley money all the time but I never get any'). On their very first day he dragged them down to the beach and instructed them in the art of building sandcastles. Remus especially was rather taken with this idea and spent much of their time there attempting to build a sand version of Hogwarts. Owing to its size (and the fact that he would quietly poke it with his wand to make it stay up) it attracted a lot of attention from other children nearby. For the first time in his life Harry found himself becoming very popular with other boys his own age who wished their parents could create castles like that, and from then on was never short of someone to play with.

When Harry could be dragged away from his new friends, and Remus from his castle, they visited the fairground, played crazy golf (a rather expensive trip as Sirius managed to lose most of the golf balls, having hit them very hard to see if they would fly like Quidditch balls) and started teaching Harry to swim in the hotel pool. One day they got a bus into town and braved the Muggle shops in order to buy Harry some clothes that fitted him to replace Dudley's cast-offs, and whenever it rained they would use the weather as an excuse to go to the cinema. None of them had experienced this before the holiday and all three found it fascinating.

*

The weather was fine on the last day, and as their train was not until late afternoon they spent the morning on the beach. Harry ran down to the sea with the boys who had not yet gone home, where they sat digging in the sand and splashing each other in the shallow water. Remus began decorating the Astronomy Tower with seashells whilst Sirius, deprived of the Daily Prophet, made do with the crossword from a Muggle newspaper.

'Fourteen Across, 'inventors of bathhouses and roads', six letters. Any idea, Moony?'

Remus looked up from the finer details of the castle's front door. 'Didn't Granstone the Grubby have something to do with bathhouses?'

'No, that was the earliest type of Cleaning Charm. And I don't suppose Muggles will know who Granstone the Grubby was.'

'True. Ask Harry then. He might know.' Remus scratched at the front door with his thumbnail to create the knocker.

Harry appeared not long afterwards, dripping wet and covered in sand. 'Ooh, I like the tower, Remus!'

'Thanks,' said Remus, who was now flat on his stomach smoothing out the front steps.

He flung himself down next to Sirius. 'Can I have an ice cream? I'll get you one.'

'If you want,' said Sirius, shaking sand off his newspaper. 'I'll have chocolate sauce on mine. Moony, d'you want an ice cream?'

'Go on then, if you're offering.'

'With sauce, Remus?' said Harry, who loved squirting sauce onto his ice creams.

'Yes please. Can you manage all those?'

'Yeah, I'll be fine!'

Sirius looked from Remus to Harry. 'You'll have to have a swim before we go. You can't go on the train covered in sand like that, either of you.'

'We'll have a last swim in a bit, shall we? When I've finished the steps.'

'Do we have to go back?' said Harry. 'It'd be fun to stay forever, wouldn't it?'

'It would,' agreed Sirius. 'But unfortunately we can't. Maybe we can go on holiday again next year, though.'

'I'd like that.'

A few minutes later, Harry returned with three ice creams dripping in chocolate sauce.

'Sirius?' he said after he had passed them round and settled himself on the sand. 'Are you married to Remus?'

Sirius almost choked on his ice cream and Remus knocked in part of the roof of the Great Hall in shock.

'N-not exactly,' Sirius spluttered through a mouthful of chocolate sauce. 'Why? Has someone said something?'

'Joe and Tom were asking me about it before. Well, they asked me about my mum and dad, and I said I didn't have a mum and dad 'cause they were dead. So they asked did I live with you, and I said I had to live with my aunt and uncle but I got to see you sometimes and I'd rather live with you but I wasn't allowed to. Joe asked if that was 'cause you're both men, and Tom said he didn't think two men could get married like a man and a lady. So are you?'

Sirius considered the best way to approach this.

'No, we're not married,' he began.

'Are you not allowed to then? Or are you married to ladies instead?'

'No, we're not married to ladies,' said Sirius, trying not to grin. 'And Tom's right - two men aren't allowed to get married like a man and a lady.'

Harry looked confused. 'Why not?'

'Because... because...' Oh hell, I never thought he'd start on this so young.

Remus took pity on Sirius, who was sat opening and closing his mouth like a fish, and continued the explanation.

'You see, Harry, sometimes a man loves a lady, and they get married. Like your mum and dad. Or even your aunt and uncle.'

Sirius regained his composure enough to mutter 'I don't think they know the meaning of the word' under his breath.

'But sometimes,' continued Remus, ignoring Sirius, 'a man loves another man.'

'Or a lady?' asked Harry. 'Can a lady love another lady?'

'Yes, that can happen too.'

'So why can't a man and a man get married then?'

'Because most men love ladies. It's not very often that a man loves another man. And there are some people who think that if most people do a thing then everyone should do it, so because most men love ladies they think you should only be allowed to marry a lady. Does that make sense?'

Harry frowned. 'Sort of. But that's not fair, is it?'

'No, Harry, it's not. But there are a lot of things in life that aren't fair, and you just have to accept them and do the best you can to work round them.'

'Do they think it's wrong for a man to love a man?'

'Some people do, yes. You shouldn't take any notice of those people, though. A person can love whoever they want as long as it makes them happy.'

'Is that why I can't live with you?'

'No, that has nothing to do with it.'

Harry seemed too busy puzzling over the unfairness of preventing two men from marrying to ask more about why he could not leave the Dursleys, for which Remus was profoundly grateful. An introduction to homosexuality was one thing; an introduction to homosexuality plus the rise and fall of Voldemort was probably more than he was capable of in one go.

'Why not show Harry that crossword clue, Sirius?' he asked, in an attempt to distract him.

'All right then. See if you know the answer to this, Harry. 'Inventors of bathhouses and roads.' Six letters. Starts with an R.'

'Oh, I know that!' said Harry happily. 'It's the Romans! We learned about them in school! They made long straight roads all over England.'

'Well done, Harry!' said Remus.

'They were the last thing we learned about before the summer holidays, so I remember.' Harry explained. 'We drew pictures of Roman soldiers on the roads.'

'So it was the Romans who invented roads, then?' said Sirius. 'I didn't know that.'

'Didn't you learn about them at school?' asked Harry.

'I didn't go to school like you did.'

'What did you do, then?' Harry looked at Sirius curiously.

'I had a tutor, and when I was eleven I went away to school. We didn't learn about the Romans, though.'

'What did you learn? And what's a tutor?'

'We learned lots of interesting things, just not about roads. And my tutor was a very old wiz - er - gentleman who came to my house and taught my brother and me things that my parents thought we ought to know.'

'Why didn't you go to school properly, like me?'

'Because - because my parents didn't think it was suitable.'

Sirius scowled, but before he could straighten out his face Harry noticed.

'Didn't you like your parents, then?'

'Not really. They were a bit like your aunt and uncle, in their own way.'

He couldn't help smiling at the thought of what his mother would say if she heard him compare her to the Dursleys. Meanwhile Harry began to interrogate Remus.

'Did you go to school?'

'I did when I was eleven. Before that, my parents taught me at home.'

'Why didn't you have a tutor, like Sirius?'

'We - we couldn't afford one,' Remus lied. No one in their right mind would have tutored a werewolf.

Harry, however, seemed perfectly satisfied with this explanation. Remus breathed a sigh of relief and added lycanthropy to his mental list of Things We'll Really Need To Talk To Harry About Eventually.

'You know my mum and dad?' said Harry suddenly. 'Were they like Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon? Or your parents, Sirius?'

'No,' said Sirius. 'They were nothing like that.'

'What were they like? Did they go to school?'

'I think your mum will have done, but your dad had a tutor like me. Then when they were eleven they away to school, which is where they met me and Remus.'

'Were they nice?'

'Yes, they were. James - your dad - was the best friend I ever had. We did everything together at school, and his parents, your grandparents, were very kind to me. More than my own dear mum and dad,' he finished gloomily.

'Did they love me, when I was a baby?'

'Of course they did,' said Remus. 'They'd spend hours and hours talking to you and singing to you and playing with your toys. Before you were born, your mum read in a book that you should talk to babies a lot, and so she and your dad talked to you all the time, and whenever anyone came to visit you they'd make them talk to you too.'

Sirius started to laugh. 'Your dad was so proud of you,' he said. 'Remember the day he first sat up on his own, Moony? James was shouting for us to come and have a look at his amazing son, and Lily was stood there taking pictures. She kept telling Prongs off for getting in the way cause he was dancing about so much.'

Remus smiled at the memory, but Harry's attention had been caught by something else.

'Do you have any pictures of my mum and dad? I've never seen any. Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon haven't got any, and I can't ask about them because if I ever do they get angry and tell me not to ask questions.'

'I don't know, Harry,' said Sirius. 'We'll have to have a look when we get home.'

'And speaking of going home,' Remus added, 'you and I should probably go for a quick swim to get rid of this sand before we catch the train.'

'If we have got any pictures, then we'll send you some so you can see them, alright?'

'Alright.'

*

It was not a matter of whether they had any photographs of James and Lily, of course, it was whether they had any suitable for Harry to see. Neither Remus nor Sirius ever remembered taking photographs with a Muggle camera, and it would be very hard to explain to a child you were treating as a Muggle why all the people in the pictures were moving.

The photographs, they knew, were in a box in one of the wardrobes. In the aftermath of James and Lily's deaths they had found looking at pictures almost unbearable and had dumped them all into a cardboard box and pushed them out of sight. It was easier to forget about the death of one of your best friends at the hands of another when you no longer saw both friends waving vigorously at you over breakfast every morning, and less painful to think of your friends' son in the hands of uncaring relatives when there was no chance of catching a glimpse of the child's mother rocking him to sleep.

However, if Harry wanted to know what his parents looked like they could do that at least for him. All that remained was to find a way of keeping the pictures still.

*

Sirius pulled the box down from the wardrobe and shook its contents onto the bed. Pictures flew everywhere, scattering themselves all over the room.

'We were certainly keen on photography, weren't we?' remarked Remus, scooping up handfuls of pictures that had fallen to the floor. 'Were they in any particular order?'

'Don't think so,' said Sirius, rummaging through the pile closest to him. 'And if they were they're not now.'

'I think every photograph I ever took must be in here,' said Remus. He held up some he had retrieved from the floor. 'First holiday my parents took me on. They planned it for weeks, worked round the full moon and everything. I wasn't very good with a camera, though, as you can tell from all these photos of my thumbs.' The pictures he held jerked up and down, as though the camera-holder had had a rather unsteady hand.

'Look at these,' said Sirius. 'First year at Hogwarts. We look very young, don't we?'

Remus nodded, smiling slightly at the sight of his eleven-year-old self proudly wearing his Hogwarts robes, bought slightly too big so there would be room for him to grow.

'Do you think Harry would like to see one of those? James looks very much like him in that picture.'

Sirius laid the photograph carefully to one side and searched through another set.

'I think you must have taken these ones, Moony,' he said. 'Christmas after I was seventeen, in my flat.'

He held them out to Remus, who took them. They had clearly been decorating the flat for Christmas, but somewhere along the line Sirius and Peter had given this up in favour of decorating James, who was squirming out from underneath a pile of tinsel and had a large gold star on his head.

Sirius sat down heavily on the bed. Several photographs cascaded to the floor but he took no notice.

'Had it already started then, do you think?'

He lifted another. The four of them stood, swaying slightly, clearly under the influence of too much Firewhiskey.

'Or that one. Just after we left school. Had it started then?'

Remus cleared a space for himself and sat down next to Sirius.

'I mean, we were of age, we knew about the war and the Order and what was going on with Voldemort. Was Peter already thinking about betraying us? Was he already a Death Eater, and pretending to be our friend all the time? All that time and he had us taken in so well.'

'It does make you look back at things in a different light, doesn't it?' Remus agreed. 'Makes you wonder if there was something you missed then that you should have noticed. You can't really trust your own memory, because all the time we were thinking Peter was one of us he was working for Voldemort.'

'There wasn't much you could trust then,' said Sirius. 'It was a pretty horrible time.'

'Dumbledore thinks he'll come back, doesn't he?' said Remus quietly. 'I wonder if it'll be as bad next time round?'

'I would imagine so,' said Sirius. He looked up at Remus. 'I'll tell you one thing, Moony. I won't be suspecting you of going over to the Dark side, I can promise you that.'

For a while they worked in silence, sorting through hundreds of photographs to find the nicest ones of James and Lily. Occasionally they would hold one up and laugh over the memories: trips to Hogsmeade, evenings at Godric's Hollow after they left school, Harry as a baby in the arms of a proud and beaming adult.

'We'll have to show Harry these,' said Sirius suddenly. 'James and Lily's wedding!'

He spread the photographs out on the bed. There were pictures of James with Lily, looking like he couldn't quite believe this was happening to him. Then pictures of their parents and families (though Petunia had managed to avoid being photographed at any point) and all their friends; people from school, from work, from the Order.

'That's a good one,' said Remus, pointing to one of Sirius, as the best man, stood with the bride and groom. 'We should send that.'

'And that one of me and you.' Sirius held up a picture of himself and Remus towards the end of the wedding celebrations, their ties loosened and, in Sirius's case, completely undone, their arms around each other's shoulders.

'It was a good day, wasn't it?'

'Best wedding I've ever been to. Weddings of members of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black tended to drag on forever, and that was without the party afterwards. If you could call it a party.'

'We probably shouldn't send Harry that one,' said Remus some time later, passing Sirius a pile of pictures dating from their fifth year at school. The topmost one showed the four of them on the Quidditch pitch. Remus and Sirius were hovering near the goalposts throwing the Quaffle to each other, whilst James was circling on his broomstick far above them with Peter watching him in admiration.

'No, you're right,' said Sirius, flicking through the pile. 'Nor that one of James with his wand raised to hex Snivellus, either.'

'Shame about the Quidditch one,' said Remus. 'I bet Harry would love it.'

'Of course he would,' Sirius agreed. 'Don't you remember how James started planning the best broom to buy for him as soon as Lily told him they were having a baby?'

'Wish we could teach him to fly. If he's anything like James, which is more than likely, he'd be brilliant.'

Sirius looked at the Quidditch picture again. 'You can barely see James on that one,' he said. 'There's only a speck in the distance. Lily must have been around that day.'

Eventually they had a pile of pictures that they thought Harry might like.

'If you twist your wand like this,' said Sirius, demonstrating, 'and do a Freezing Charm on it, then they should stay still.'

He tried it out on the first picture, which showed James and Sirius playing Exploding Snap, aged about fourteen. The photograph froze at the exact moment the cards exploded.

'Well, at least it works.' Sirius tapped it with his wand and the picture began to move again.

'Will it stay like that?' said Remus.

'Should do.' He passed him half the pile.

After they had finished, they started picking up the photographs to put back in the box. They had managed to spread right across the room and out onto the landing.

'Remus?' called Sirius, retrieving a handful of pictures from the bathroom.

'Yes?'

'Do you think we should keep some pictures out? I mean, for us? We'd have to put them away when Harry comes if they're moving, but it might be nice to have one or two pictures of us and James and Lily about, don't you think?'

'You're right,' said Remus as he crawled out from under the bed. 'I think it would be a very nice idea.'

*

41 St George's Road

Paddington

London

2^nd August 1987

Dear Harry,

First of all, happy birthday for last Friday! We've got you some presents and next time you come and see us we can have a little party.

We managed to find some pictures of your mum and dad, so we've sent them for you to see. There are also some of us two! We thought you might like them. Some are from when we were at school, and some are from when we were older. We've also got some of the day your mum and dad got married.

Hope we can see you soon, and that your aunt and uncle aren't being too horrible to you.

Lots of love from Remus and Sirius

*

4 privet drive

Little Whinging

Surrey

4^th August 1987

Dear Remus and Sirius,

Thank you very much for the picktures of my mum and dad, I like them a lot. I have hiden them under the florrbord in my room so Dudly cant get them. And thank you for taking me on holliday. I had a very good time. I liked the beech a lot. Im hoping I can see you soon to.

Lots of love from Harry James Potter.

~*~

Life, Harry thought to himself sometimes, would be almost unbearable without Remus and Sirius. Alright, it wasn't as if he got to see them anything like as much as he wanted to, but it was still nice to know that there were people who remembered his birthday and bought him presents at Christmas and wrote him letters. These tended to increase in frequency when he hadn't seen them for a while, until eventually Uncle Vernon would fling one to him across the breakfast table and snarl 'Suppose I'm going to have to arrange for you to see those good-for-nothing friends of your father's,' his face generally a virulent shade of purple with the effort of acknowledging Remus and Sirius's existence, and then spend the rest of the day in a filthy temper. Aunt Petunia would act as if Uncle Vernon's temper were all Harry's fault and respond by giving him so many chores he would be busy until teatime. Harry never minded, though, because after an episode like this it was never more than a few days before he was with Remus and Sirius.

He wondered sometimes how his parents could possibly have had any connections with the Dursleys at all. It was almost impossible to believe that his mother and Aunt Petunia had been sisters. The Dursleys did their best to pretend they had never existed, for one thing. Clearly they had had nothing to do with each other before his parents died. And then, his mother looked so different from Aunt Petunia in the pictures he had of her. Whenever his aunt and uncle had been particularly unpleasant, or Dudley and his gang had been making fun of him, or he just wanted a reminder that he'd once had parents who loved him, he would get the pictures out from under the loose floorboard in his room and have a look at them. If you could call it his room, of course; he may sleep in there but Dudley still used it for his spare toys and wandered in and out as he chose. However, Harry doubted he had the brains to work out his secret hiding-place, and his pictures were safe.

His favourite picture was the one that had been taken just a few hours after he was born. His mum was holding him in her arms and his dad was sat next to her on the bed, grinning down at him. Sirius stood by the bed with his hand on his dad's shoulder and a massive beam on his face, and Remus was on the other side of his mum, reaching out to touch one of his tiny hands.

You look more like your dad every time I see you, Sirius always said, and looking at the picture, Harry could see what he was talking about. It was nice, somehow, to be told he looked like his dad. Made him feel like he belonged to someone.

He didn't belong with the Dursleys, that was certain. Why they had taken him in he had no idea, but they seemed to have been regretting the decision ever since making it. They weren't cruel to him, exactly; they didn't starve him or beat him, although they did force him to do far more than his fair share of household chores, but they had always treated him as though they'd really rather he wasn't there. In fact, they spent much of their time pretending he wasn't, only remembering when there was something one of them wanted doing.

It was odd, really, that they had ended up with him when they couldn't stand the sight of him, and Remus and Sirius were only allowed to see him every so often when they were clearly desperate to make him happy. Harry wondered occasionally whose silly idea it had been for him to live with his aunt and uncle, because clearly every single person would be happier for him to be with Remus and Sirius (except perhaps Dudley, because he'd have to find someone else to beat up). However, he dismissed the thought as impossible whenever it crossed his mind, and put it down as one of the strange things that sometimes happened to him.

*

Harry stood on his tiptoes and reached into the cupboard for the tin of chocolate biscuits Remus and Sirius had bought for him as a treat. The weather was very unseasonable for the end of May; it had been pouring with rain all afternoon and no one had fancied going outside. Sirius had suggested a trip to the cinema later on but until then he and Remus were teaching Harry card games. The Dursleys, of course, never bothered to play games with him and Remus had been horrified to learn he couldn't even play a simple game of Snap. He had set about showing him and Harry quickly became enthusiastic. By the time he managed to win three games in a row to bring his total number of wins to fourteen (against Remus's twelve and Sirius's eleven), however, everyone was ready for a break. So Sirius had suggested Harry choose some of his favourite biscuits from the tin and bring them in. Now if only he could get the tin down from the cupboard...

He could have asked Remus or Sirius to get it down for him, but Harry hated the fact that he was so small and skinny. He was the smallest boy in his class at school, something else that Dudley and Piers and the rest of them laughed at him for. Sirius always said not to bother, his father had been just the same and he'd shoot up when he was fourteen or fifteen, but that seemed years away when you were still only eight and unable to reach the chocolate biscuits from the cupboard.

If he leant his foot against the bottom of the saucepan cupboard, Harry reckoned he could reach up high enough to grab the tin with his right hand. There! He yanked it out and just managed to catch it before it fell onto the worktop. Before he could even look to see what sort of biscuits they were, though, something else fell on top of them; something that must have been sitting on the tin in the cupboard, too high for him to tell it was there.

It was a newspaper. But it wasn't like any other newspaper Harry had seen before, not like Uncle Vernon's Daily Telegraph or the gossipy magazines Aunt Petunia liked to read. It was bright and colourful and had a picture of a man in funny clothes on the front. He looked a bit like the pictures of wizards and things he'd seen in books at school, the sort of picture that made Uncle Vernon snort and turn purple and mutter under his breath about 'fairy tale rubbish'. He was - Harry blinked in surprise.

The man in the picture was moving.

As Harry stood there, the man waved his arms about and opened and closed his mouth. He was clearly speaking, though Harry couldn't hear what he was saying. He blinked again, wondering if he was imagining things. Then he pinched himself, to make sure he was awake. But no, he was wide awake and stood in Remus and Sirius's kitchen looking at a newspaper with a moving picture on it.

Harry felt his heart start beating very fast inside him. How can it be possible? he thought. Pictures don't move. Not on paper, not like they do on the TV. What's going on? And why is it here?

Just as he was debating the best course of action, whether he should put the newspaper back and pretend he hadn't seen it or whether he should go and ask Remus and Sirius what on earth was going on, he heard footsteps behind him.

'Harry, are you alright?' said Remus. 'You've been a while - oh. Ah. I see.'

Harry turned and looked at Remus. Remus was staring past him to the newspaper, where the man in funny clothes was now pacing up and down. His face was even paler than usual and he looked - he looked angry. Of the several strange things that Harry had seen in the last ten minutes, Remus looking angry was the one that scared him the most. Remus never got angry. Not even when they were baking cakes and he'd spilt cake mixture all over the floor, or the time he'd smashed a window with a cricket ball. On those occasions Remus had just laughed and said he'd sort it out. Oh no, what have I done? thought Harry. There must be something really special about this newspaper if I'm not allowed to see it.

'I'm sorry, Remus,' he gasped. 'I didn't mean to look at it. It was on top of the biscuit tin and it fell down when I tried to reach for the tin and I couldn't help see it but I'm sorry if I wasn't supposed to look at it.'

Remus turned to look at him. 'Don't worry, Harry,' he said. 'I'm not angry with you. It's not your fault.'

Harry heaved a sigh of relief that he wasn't going to get into trouble, but it didn't stop him wondering if he was going to find out what was going on.

Remus walked over to the door and shouted 'Sirius! Come here!' He picked up a corner of the newspaper between his finger and thumb and when Sirius walked into the kitchen held it out to him wordlessly.

Sirius gazed for a moment at the newspaper dangling from Remus's hand, the man in the funny clothes looking most unimpressed at being held upside down, and said several words that Harry had never heard any grown-up use before, not even Uncle Vernon that time Miss Protheroe had written to him telling him how Harry had turned her wig blue.

'What the hell were you playing at, Sirius, leaving it on top of the bloody biscuits?' Harry had never heard Remus raise his voice like that. He shrank back against the cooker in the hope he would not be noticed.

'I didn't do it on purpose, Remus!' Sirius shouted back. He was getting angry himself now. 'I know I never liked bringing him up as a Muggle but if Dumbledore said we had to for his own safety then I'd never do anything to put him at risk!'

Harry's head began to swim. Was he the person they were talking about? Why did he need to be kept safe? He wasn't dangerous, and you could hardly call him safe when he was Dudley's personal punch bag. And what did those words mean? A Muggle - it sounded like one of the aliens on Dudley's computer games.

'I know you wouldn't do it on purpose,' said Remus, in a slightly calmer tone. 'I was merely implying that to leave it in a place where Harry is likely to find it was rather careless.'

'I suppose so,' said Sirius. He rubbed his face with his hands. 'Well, we'll have to tell him now, won't we?'

'Exactly,' Remus replied.

'I don't think it'll hurt him to know,' said Sirius. 'Alright, so it wasn't the best thing that could have happened, but he's almost nine now. He's old enough to keep a secret.'

A secret about what? What is going on here?

Harry took a deep breath. 'Tell me what?' he said, trying to keep his voice calm and steady. Remus and Sirius looked at him in surprise, as though they had forgotten he was there.

'Right, well,' said Sirius, clearly struggling to keep his own voice calm. 'I'll get us some drinks and we can sit down and talk about this.'

He walked over to the kettle but instead of turning it on and waiting for the water to boil he took a thin brown stick out of his pocket and tapped the kettle with it. Immediately it began to whistle and when Sirius held it over the cups it poured out not water but tea, all ready to drink.

Sirius looked over at the fridge, murmured 'Oh, sod it' under his breath and pointed the stick at the fridge door. The door swung open and a bottle of Coke flew out, followed seconds later by a bottle of something labelled 'Firewhiskey'. He poured a glass of the Coke and tipped some of the Firewhiskey into his teacup.

'Bit early for that, isn't it?' said Remus, who had emptied the entire contents of the biscuit tin onto a plate and was now trying to prevent the topmost ones from dropping onto the floor. Sirius ignored him and poured some of the contents of the bottle into Remus's cup.

Harry stood by the cooker, his mouth hanging open and his eyes wide in shock. 'Th-the door!' he spluttered. 'It opened! By itself! Like magic! How did you do that?'

No one answered him. Instead, Sirius handed him the glass of Coke, lead him into the living room and sat him down in a chair. Remus followed with the biscuits and he and Sirius sat opposite Harry.

'Have a biscuit, Harry,' said Remus, offering him the overloaded plate.

Harry reached out and took a biscuit, still not sure whether he was awake or dreaming. He thought he'd seen moving pictures in newspapers and Sirius use something that looked very much like the magic wands he'd seen in storybooks to make objects move all by themselves, but how could it be happening? There wasn't really such a thing as magic. Was there?

For a moment there was silence. No one seemed to know quite where to start. Then Harry, feeling like he might burst if he didn't let some of his questions escape, started firing them off at top speed.

'What's going on? What am I not supposed to know? Why were the pictures moving in that paper? How did the bottles move by themselves? Why can you do funny things like that? I've never seen anyone else do it. Is it real magic? And why haven't you shown me before?'

He paused for breath, but before he could start reeling off yet more questions Remus started speaking.

'I know this must be a bit of a shock for you, Harry. We didn't want you to find out like this. But we'll do our best to explain everything we can to you, now you have found out.'

'Found out what?' said Harry, who wasn't quite sure which particular thing he was supposed to have found out.

'About magic,' said Remus.

'Then - then there really is magic?' said Harry in amazement. He had secretly been hoping for it, but even after seeing the bottles flying all over the kitchen hadn't really believed it. He was just ordinary Harry Potter, who spent his life being picked on by his cousin and shouted at by his aunt and uncle. How could he have anything to do with magic?

'Yes, there really is,' said Remus, smiling at him.

'And - and you can do magic? Both of you?'

'Both of us. We're wizards.'

'Honestly? There are really wizards? But - but how do I fit in? I mean, I'm just normal, and the Dursleys can't do magic. They think it's all rubbish.'

Before Remus could answer any of these questions he thought of something else.

'What about my parents? Did they know you could do magic? Could they do magic too?'

'Yes, your parents could do magic. You know how we told you that we were at school with your mum and dad?'

Harry nodded.

'Well, it was a school for learning how to become a wizard or witch. You'll be going there in a couple of years.'

Harry's jaw dropped and he gaped at Remus for several moments.

'Me?' he squeaked when he regained his powers of speech. 'Me go to a school for wizards? Am I...? I can't be a wizard!'

'Of course you can!' said Sirius. 'Your parents were wizards, so I don't see any reason why you shouldn't be.'

Harry felt as though the world had suddenly turned upside down. He sat silently for a while, trying to take it in. A wizard! Me! How can it be possible? Surely, he thought, he would have known something like that about himself. Surely he'd have known, he'd have been able to tell... Magic! It really exists! Wait till I tell...

'What about the Dursleys? Can they do magic? If they can't, how come my mum could?'

'Your aunt and uncle are what we call Muggles, or people who can't do magic. Sometimes Muggles have a child who can do magic. Your mum's parents and your Aunt Petunia were all born Muggles, but your mum was born a witch. It just happens like that sometimes,' Sirius explained.

'So... so they knew? But they reckon magic's all a load of rubbish! They don't even like Dudley watching shows with magic in!'

'Your aunt never liked the fact that your mother was a witch. I think even then she didn't like to appear unusual in any way. So she tried her best to pretend that magic didn't exist. Your uncle feels the same way.'

'And then when they took you in after your parents died,' Sirius continued, 'they wouldn't tell you about magic for lots of reasons. Partly because they like to pretend it doesn't exist at all, and partly because you were being brought up as a Muggle. They don't generally know about magic and wizards and everything, so if you knew about it and started talking about it then people would wonder what was going on.'

'That's why we didn't tell you that we could do magic either,' Remus added.

'Is that why I can't live with you then? Are you not allowed to know about it till you go to the magic school?'

Remus and Sirius looked at each other for a moment.

'Look, Harry,' Sirius began. 'I don't want to lie to you, and I don't want to leave any of your questions unanswered. At the same time, though, I don't want to tell you anything that might worry or upset you at all.'

He paused, and looked at Harry.

'I can't explain to you properly why you have to live with your aunt and uncle without telling you some things that might frighten you. Now you have a choice, alright? We can leave it there, or I can tell you what I know about you living with the Dursleys. It's up to you.'

Harry considered for a moment.

'I want to know,' he said.

Sirius laughed. 'Very brave of you,' he said. 'Just what your dad would have done.'

He thought for a few moments, trying to decide where to begin.

'Well, wizards are just like anyone else, really, Harry, and some are good and some are not so good. Most of them, even the not-so-good ones, have a bit of goodness in them, but a while ago, about twenty years ago now, there was a wizard called Voldemort who didn't really have any goodness at all. He was a very powerful wizard and wanted to rule the world and force everything to be run the way he wanted it to be. Because he was such a powerful wizard, he managed to get other wizards and witches to agree that he should rule the world and become his followers. Do you understand so far?'

Harry nodded, listening intently.

'Luckily, though, there were lots of other witches and wizards who joined together to fight Voldemort. Your mum and dad and Remus and I were all part of the group who fought him. It was called the Order of the Phoenix and it was led by another very powerful wizard called Albus Dumbledore. He was - well, is; he's still alive - probably the most powerful wizard in the world and he was the only one Voldemort was ever scared of. But even he couldn't just get rid of him. We had to fight a war against him for many years.'

'So my mum and dad were like soldiers, then, fighting in battles.'

'That's right. They were very brave and very clever and they escaped Voldemort three times. But eventually he found them, and he killed them.'

Harry looked down at his shoes to hide the fact that his eyes had filled with tears. 'So my parents were murdered by an evil wizard, then,' he mumbled.

'That's right,' said Sirius quietly.

'What about me?' he said eventually. 'Did he not want to kill me too?'

'This is where it gets complicated,' Sirius continued. 'He tried to kill you, but when he cast the spell on you it bounced off you and hit him, and he vanished. That's why you have that scar on your forehead.'

Harry brought his hand up and touched his scar. He'd always known he'd had it since his parents died, but he could never have imagined that it had happened like this.

'Why? Why did that happen? Why me, if he'd killed my parents?'

'No one knows. Not even Dumbledore. All I can tell you is that when he tried to kill you he just disappeared.'

'So he's dead then?'

'Dumbledore doesn't think so. He thinks - and Remus and I agree with him - that one day Voldemort will manage to come back and have another try at taking over the world. Which brings us to where you live. You see, because your aunt is your only living relation, Voldemort can't hurt you at her house if he ever comes back. Does that make sense?'

'I suppose so,' said Harry. 'Why can't he hurt me there, though?'

'I don't know that either. When your parents were killed Remus and I wanted to take you ourselves, but Dumbledore said you had to go to your aunt's. We weren't happy about it, because we knew your aunt wouldn't want you or be kind to you, but there was nothing we could do. However, Dumbledore said we could see you sometimes, to make things a bit better for you and let you know you did have people who cared about you, and that's why you come and visit us.'

Harry looked down at the floor again.

'Are you all right, Harry?' said Remus, after a minute had gone by without him saying anything.

Harry nodded without speaking. He wasn't entirely sure how he felt. Everything that he thought he'd known about his life had suddenly been churned up and become something totally different, and a whole new world, one that he'd had no idea even existed, had been revealed to him. Moreover, he'd been told that he belonged in that world. That part was a relief in some ways, because now he understood why he felt he didn't belong with the Dursleys. On the other hand, though, he had never before faced up to the reality of war and fighting. War was just something he occasionally heard about on the TV or saw in the newspaper. The fact that evil was real and had been fought by real people, people he knew, his own parents, had come as quite a shock to him.

'I know it must be hard for you,' Remus said. 'Finding out about your parents and the way they died, and all about magic. It must have been a surprise, and it's perfectly fine if you find it hard to understand at first.'

'So there's a whole world of wizards, then?' he said finally. He found the concept of another, hidden world inside the one he knew hard to comprehend. 'And no one knows?'

'No one knows,' said Remus. 'A lot of Muggles don't understand magic, and wizards generally find it easier to keep themselves to themselves.'

'How?'

'It's quite easy to keep yourself hidden using magic, and we have rules about where magic can be done when there are Muggles about. You'll learn about it when you go to Hogwarts - that's the wizard school.'

'You'll have a brilliant time when you go to Hogwarts, Harry,' said Sirius. 'I loved it when I was there. And you'll be away from those relatives of yours for months.'

'Will I?' said Harry. All of a sudden being a wizard sounded like a very good idea. 'That'll be great!'

A thought struck him.

'You know the man - I forgot his name - who said I had to live with the Dursleys? Won't he be angry if he finds out I know about magic and everything?'

'Dumbledore? He won't mind. He'll understand that accidents happen and that you're old enough to keep magic a secret now.'

'Dumbledore is Headmaster at Hogwarts, Harry, so you'll see a lot of him when you go,' said Remus. 'You'll like him; he's an amazing wizard.'

Harry wasn't convinced about that. He wasn't sure he'd like anyone who thought it would be a good idea for him to spend several years living with the Dursleys, evil wizards or no evil wizards.

'I know what you're thinking, Harry, but Dumbledore was doing what he thought best to keep you protected,' said Remus, seeing him frown. 'No one felt safe when Voldemort was around. If Dumbledore thought there was even the slightest chance he might come back he wouldn't have wanted to take any risks, and if to do that he had to send you to the Dursleys then that was what had to be done. It may be hard for you to believe, but it's better than the alternative, isn't it?'

'Yeah, I guess so,' said Harry, after thinking it out for a minute. 'Will I have to live there forever?'

'No, not after you're grown up. I know it seems like a long time off, but when you start at Hogwarts you'll be away for most of the year, and we can arrange for you to visit us in the holidays.'

'I'd like that. I don't think Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon will want me around much when I can do magic.' He grinned suddenly. 'They'd be terrified in case the neighbours found out!'

Remus and Sirius started laughing.

'If I remember your aunt correctly that's true enough,' said Remus.

'Can I - can I see some magic?' said Harry. 'If that's alright, I mean.'

' 'Course it is' said Sirius. He took the thin brown stick out of his pocket again. 'This is my wand. When you're eleven we'll take you to buy one for yourself.'

Harry reached out and touched the wand gingerly. He felt a tingling in his fingers, and a few golden sparks shot out of the end. He jumped.

'Don't worry, it's fine,' said Sirius. 'Everyone has their own special wand that works best for them.'

He waved the wand and muttered something under his breath, and the plate of chocolate biscuits began to fly around the room. Several biscuits fell onto the carpet, but Remus got out his wand and with a flick made the biscuits dance back to the plate. Harry stared in amazement.

'Wow!' he gasped. 'Will I be able to do that one day?'

'Certainly!' said Remus. 'Making things fly is something you'll learn in the first year.'

Harry decided he couldn't wait to go to Hogwarts.

'What else can you do?'

He looked up at Sirius - but Sirius wasn't there any more. In the place where he had been there now sat a large black dog.

'S-sirius?'

Remus grinned at him. 'This is Padfoot, Harry, Sirius's alter ego.'

'Sirius can turn into a dog?'

As if in answer, the dog leapt off the settee and bounced over to Harry. He placed his paws on Harry's shoulders and started licking his face, his tail thumping against the coffee table. Harry put his arms round the dog's neck and stroked his fur.

'I wish I'd known that before,' he said. 'I love dogs!'

The dog returned to the sofa and turned back into Sirius.

'What do you think, Harry?' he said.

'That was incredible! Will I learn that in the first year too?'

'I don't think so. It takes a long time to learn how to do that. Maybe when you're older and know more magic you'll be able to do it.'

Harry decided then and there that he was going to learn everything he could about magic so he could turn into a dog too. He reached out for a handful of chocolate biscuits and thought about what a funny day it had been. When he got up that morning he'd been a normal boy. Now, just a few hours later, he was a wizard, with a godfather who could turn into a dog. His parents had been murdered by one of the most powerful and evil wizards ever, but he'd somehow managed to escape. And in a couple of years he'd be going off to wizarding school to learn how to do magic. For the first time that he could remember, Harry decided that maybe life wasn't so bad after all.

~*~