Don't Forget Me

Chapter 1 - The stunning letter

The Burrow was full of action. More than usual, since Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks had come over for dinner. Hermione, who had been staying for two weeks already; was laughing and applauding with Ginny, as Tonks was demonstrating different kind of ears. Lupin was talking to Arthur and Bill about the latest news around Lord Voldemort and what they could do to stop him. Mrs Weasley was preparing the dinner and had told Tonks several times that she did not need help. Tonks had decided not to listen, until she had broken five plates. Ron, Fred and George were out on the hill practising Quidditch, since the twins had decided that Ron had to keep it up with the sport. He would need the practise before he went back to school.

A loud hoot was heard and Hedwig soared in through the window, landing on the kitchen table. Lupin looked up at her and tried to take the letter. She quickly jumped out of his way and hooted loudly, and if she had not been an owl you might have thought a pained expression was on her face. Lupin got a quick glimpse of the letter, and walked to the door. "RON, LETTER FROM HARRY!" he screamed up towards the hill. Then he went and sat down again, continuing his conversation.

Ron came into the kitchen a few minutes later and took the letter from Hedwig. She gave another hoot and then, to his confusion, stayed on the table. She usually flew right back again, since she knew he had an owl of his own that could take the response if needed. He didn't think about it more though, and went to get a glass of water. He leaned against the wall, drinking a glass of water. As he opened the letter and started to read, his eyes suddenly widened and the glass fell to the floor, smashing into hundreds of pieces.

Everyone jumped in surprise and looked up to see Ron. Mrs Weasley opened her mouth to start yelling at him but quickly changed her mind when she saw the look on his face.

"Ron? What's the matter? Is something wrong?" Lupin asked worried.

Ron just stared at the letter in his hands, not paying them any attention. The kitchen door flew open and the twins came bursting in, talking loudly, not noticing the silence in the kitchen at first. They looked around and Fred said in a joking voice, "Who died?" He quickly regretted saying that when everyone flinched and looked even more worried.

"Ron, tell us what it says," Mr Weasley said, looking at his youngest son. The twins turned their attention to him too, not understanding what all this was about.

Ron finally looked up from the letter, shock, confusion, fear and anger written all over his face. "I... He... Harry..." he tried but couldn't get the rest out.

"Is Harry in trouble?" Tonks asked, just as worried as the rest of them.

"He... He's gone..." Ron continued.

"What are you talking about?" Lupin asked, irritated that Ron just couldn't spit it out.

"Harry... He's gone after You-know-who," Ron finally whispered. The silence that followed was so thick, so pressing, that Ron felt like he could not breathe.

"What do you mean he's gone after him? Give me the letter." Lupin snatched the letter out of Ron's hand and started reading it.

Dear Ron,

I hope you know how much I love you and Hermione for just being my friends through good times and through bad. You never stopped believing in me, even when I was the biggest git in the universe. I could never forgive myself for all the times I put you guys in trouble. I shouldn't have allowed it, but you see, I wanted your company. I've been alone for so many years, and it felt wonderful that somebody actually wanted to share my experiences. I wouldn't be alive today if it hadn't been for you both. And for that I thank you.

I feel a little unfair to you, writing this letter and all. Maybe I shouldn't send it, but at the same time, I think you deserve to know why. As I've already said, you have always been there for me, and you need to understand this. I want you to know how sorry I am for all this and I seriously hope that you won't hate me forever.

After that night at the Ministry, Dumbledore and I talked in his office. We talked about how and why everything in my life happened, starting with Voldemort trying to kill me as a baby. I should have told you this earlier, when we were still at school, Ron, but I just didn't know how. Or no, that's a lie. If I really wanted to tell you then I would have found a way. The truth is that I didn't want you to know. I wanted you to think that I was normal, or as normal as I ever have been. I didn't want you to know the truth about me, who I really was, or will be, because I don't like that person. But as I've already said, you need to know.

Yes, the prophecy broke in the Department of Mysteries and no one heard it, but that isn't all. Dumbledore heard it years before and so he finally told me.

The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches. Born to those how have trice defied him, born as the seventh month dies. And the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not. And either must die at the hand of the other, for neither can live while the other survives. The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies...

Do you understand Ron? I can't be normal, I never can. Either he will kill me or I will kill him. That's the way it is, nothing can change it. Does it sound normal to you?

And can I really kill a person? I know he is evil and everything, hey, I should know. But can I kill a human being? Or maybe he can't be counted as a human anymore. Maybe he stopped being human years ago. I don't know Ron, it's all too hard. But I have to kill him, no one else can. If I don't he will live on for God knows how long. Maybe he'll never die. Can I really let that happen? Can I really think about myself, can I really be this selfish? No, is the only answer. I can't leave you with Voldemort, I have to do this. I can't ignore it forever you know. I have to face him someday.

I'm so sick of all this. I never asked to be the one everybody put their hopes on, it just happened to be so. Is that fair? Why do I have to suffer because of this damn prophecy? Why couldn't it have happened to someone else? I never wanted it. I never wanted to be Harry Potter, The-God-Damn-Boy-Who-Lived. It's not fair.

Because of this stupid prophecy everyone who ever get close to me ends up either dead or badly injured. I can never understand how you and Hermione dared to be this close to me. If it was me, I would probably have run and hid myself. You know if it hadn't been for me, my parents would still be alive, Cedric would still be alive, and Sirius... He would never have gone to Azkaban and he wouldn't have come after me to the Ministry!

Maybe not even killing Voldemort will make me happy. As I said earlier, I don't even know if I can kill another human, and if the act will be that hard, then how can I live on afterwards? What have I got to live for exactly? I will be a murderer without a single bit of family. Anyone that ever called themselves my family have died... How can I possibly live on like that?

You know, every time that I close my eyes I see everything that ever went wrong in my life. I can see the green flash that killed my parents, the first time I met Voldemort and all the times after that; Cedric dying in that god-forsaken graveyard, and Sirius as he falls through the veil. I don't like closing my eyes anymore, and I try not to. You can probably understand that I didn't get a lot of sleep this summer.

So I have had a lot of time to think instead, to think of what I have done, all the people that died or got hurt because of me, and most of all, on what I have to do now. I can never live my life as long as Voldemort is alive. It just isn't possible. He will always be there in the back of my head, waiting for the right time to strike. I will never get any peace and quiet.

Can you see where I'm going with this? I want to die Ron. I don't want to be here anymore. I'm so tired; I just want it to stop. If I died I would get to meet my parents again, tell them how much I love them, and finally get to know them in person. And I would meet Sirius again. I miss him so much you know. He's been the only father figure that I ever had, and I love him for it. He needs to know that.

But at the same time I know that I can't just leave you guys with Voldemort. And even if I tried to kill myself I know that it wouldn't work. Someone or something would be there to save me, even if I didn't want it to.

So what can I do then? It's simple. Tonight I will go after Voldemort, meet him one final time, and if I'm lucky I will kill him right before his last curse hits me. You see I can never be happy as The-Boy-Who-Lived, but I will be as The-Boy-Who-Died.

Don't try to come after me; it will be too late anyway. If Voldemort survives then I'm truly sorry, but you have to know that I did my best, and if he dies then see that as my last gift to you.

I don't want you to grieve for me. You have to understand Ron, this is what I want. Be happy for me instead, as I would have finally found my peace.

Please forgive me for leaving you like this, but there isn't any other way to do it. If I don't do this, then Voldemort will continue to kill people, and I can't let that happen. Tell everyone how sorry I am.

Your friend for eternity

Harry James Potter

Lupin felt the tears falling down his cheek, but he didn't care. He had to find Harry, there where no time to lose. He grabbed his cloak, pulled it on and ran for the door.

"Remus, wait! Where are you going?" Tonks called after him.

He turned around to face them. "I'm going to find Harry. I can't let him do this."

"But you don't know where he is, no one does," Mrs Weasley added.

Lupin thought about it for a second. She was right. He had no idea where to start looking. No one knew where Voldemort was, and therefore no one knew where Harry was. Harry, himself, probably didn't know where he was either... "Harry doesn't know where he is, he's probably just searching places where he's seen him before. He's probably at the graveyard!"

"We need to contact Dumbledore. He's the only one who knows where it is and we need his help in this," Tonks stated urgently and Disapparated.

While they were waiting for Tonks and Dumbledore to return, the letter was passed around. Both Hermione and Ginny started to cry and Mrs Weasley tried desperately to comfort them, even if the tears were not far away in her eyes too. Ron stood in the same place he had all the time and stared at the floor, the twins sat down by the table and talked to Bill and Mr Weasley in a low voice about the chances that they would find Harry alive. Lupin tried not to listen to them and walked back and forth, not able to stand still.

He had known that Harry was depressed, but he did not know that it was this bad. He knew that he had loved Sirius, just as much as he had, and that he probably was blaming himself for Sirius's death, even if it was not his fault. But he had not known about the prophecy. Dumbledore had not told anyone about it, nobody but Harry, so it seemed. It was such a heavy burden to place on the shoulders of a teenager, and Harry had gone through so much already. This was not right. He did not deserve this! Lupin had to find him in time; he owed that to James, Lily and Sirius. Harry's life was on his shoulders now, and he could not let him go just like that.

A pop was heard right outside and Dumbledore came walking in through the door. He looked so old, like his age had finally caught up with him and the twinkle in his eyes was gone. He looked around at all of them before he spoke, "I have the location of the graveyard, and I sent Tonks to the Ministry to gather up some Aurors to meet us there. We should leave right away."

Everyone jumped up from their seats at this, even Ron, Ginny and Hermione.

"Oh no you don't!" Mrs Weasley cried. "Fred and George might be of age, but I can still stop the three of you."

"But mum, it's Harry!" Ron screamed. "He's our friend, we can't just leave him."

"I don't want you to go, it will probably be dangerous, and I don't want you to get harmed," Mrs Weasley said firmly.

"I'm sorry Mrs Weasley, but we're going with you whether you want it or not," Hermione said, making everyone look at her in surprise. "Harry is our friend and we will do everything we can to help him."

"Let them come Molly, there is no idea in trying to stop them." Lupin was a little annoyed that they were being held back. "They're strong, and we will be there to protect them."

"Please mum!" Ginny begged, her eyes watering up.

Mrs Weasley looked around at all of them. "Well, it seems like no one is on my side in this. I guess you can go then."

Everyone walked out the door and Dumbledore pulled out a Portkey disguised as a chocolate frog card. He handed it over to Ron, Hermione and Ginny and they soon felt that familiar jerk behind the navel; a second later and the rest of the group disappeared with a loud pop, the Burrow was now empty.