100 Bottles of Firewhiskey and a Migraine Headache to Go, Please

100 Bottles of Firewhiskey and a Migraine Headache to go, Please

"So... Harry... got any plans for tonight?"

I glanced up at Ron, narrowing my eyes as I scrutinized him. I didn't like the way he had asked that.

"Yeah... homework, and lots of it."

"Well... how about you put off homework till tomorrow?"

"Why?"

"There's a Weird Sisters concert playing at Hecate's Wizarding Nightclub in Hogsmeade."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah."

"And you want to go, even though we're in school, and going requires sneaking out of the castle?"

"Yeah," Ron repeated, slightly unsure.

"Ron, that's absurd!" Hermione piped up.

"Well, no one was asking you!"

Hermione huffed, affronted, and bit into her toast angrily. Ron grimaced before looking back at Harry.

"So, think we could pull it off?"

"No way!"

"Harry, come on. It's just one night."

"No."

Ginny's going to go."

He did not just use the Ginny card. That was a low blow. Ron smiled, knowing he'd caught me.

"I'll think about it."

But I really didn't need to think about it. Ron knew it and I knew it. I glanced down the table at Ginny, who was talking animatedly with some of her fellow sixth years. Damn! Why does she have to be so pretty? If I didn't fancy her, Ron would have nothing on me. But since I do and I don't want her to know, I'm forever in Ron's debt. Unless, of course, I decide to tell her... yeah, right... I'm too much of a pansy to do that. Suddenly, Ginny turned and caught my eye. She grinned at me, brown eyes shining, and I couldn't help grinning back.

"You done thinking yet, mate?"

I glared at him and stuffed my mouth full of eggs so I wouldn't have to answer him.

"It'll be fun. And with the map and your cloak there's no way we'll get caught."

"Right..." I said after swallowing.

"You two are really dumb to try and sneak out of Hogwarts."

"'Mione, for the last time, no one asked you! Go read a book or something."

Hermione's eyes involuntarily filled with tears and Ron instantly felt ashamed. He glanced at me but I had vowed to stay out of their lover's spats. The last time I'd intervened, a horn grew out of my head due to a deflected hex.

" 'Mione-"

"No." She held up her hand. "You're right. You weren't asking my opinion. You don't care about my opinion unless it helps you in lessons. So go ahead and go to the club. I hope you get caught by Filch!" With that, Hermione gathered her things and stormed out of the Great Hall.

"Ron, you really need to mind your tongue. She's your girlfriend. She just doesn't want you to get in trouble. I'd apologize if I were you, lest she decide to poison your pumpkin juice at dinner."

"I'll go apologize if you agree to go tonight."

Ugh! Why did he have to bring the topic of conversation back to me? He has bigger problems to worry about! Being on Hermione's bad side is not a good thing, and he of all people should know that. I peek once more at Ginny and let out a sigh. "Fine. I'll go. Now find Hermione and apologize."

"See you in Herbology," he laughed.

I rolled my eyes once Ron was out of sight and then leaned my head in my hands. What have I got myself into?

~ ~ ~

-Later that Evening-

"Ow! Harry, that was my foot!"

"Sorry, Gin. If your brother hadn't grown so much we wouldn't have to crouch like this."

"Damn you and your growth spurt, Ron."

"Watch your mouth, little sister, or I'll tell Mum."

"Oh yeah? And I'll tell her about your midnight rendezvous with Hermione when we all stayed at the Leaky Cauldron the last week of the summer holiday."

"Ron!" I exclaimed, astonished. He never told me about that!

"What? Hermione was the one that wanted me to come to her room."

"And you were so ready to say no, right?"

"At least I'm able to keep one girlfriend. How many boyfriends have you had, Gin?"

You two quit! We're almost to the statue of the humpbacked witch and no one's around. But we'll have to be quick just in case."

When we finally got to the statue, I looked at the map once more, made sure no one was close by, and then tapped the witch's hump, muttering "Dissendium". The hump slid aside to reveal a hole leading downward into darkness.

"Ladies first."

"Why thank you, Harry."

Ginny crawled into the hole and I took the chance to stare at her bum. Ron noticed and smacked me on the back of the head.

"She's still my little sister. You'd do well to remember that."

"Right. Sorry."

I let Ron crawl in next, and then I followed after him. We crawled for what seemed like forever, till we finally got to the ladder that led to the basement of Honeyduke's. Once we were outside of Honeyduke's, I breathed a sigh of relief, stowing the cloak and map safely behind a rock. So far, so good. The line outside of Hecate's was long, and I had a sinking feeling we wouldn't be let in. Then I saw a familiar blonde up ahead and I suddenly didn't want to be let in.

"Shit! Ron, it's Malfoy!"

Ron looked where I was pointing and scowled.

"Why's he always have to be around when we don't want him to be?"

"'Cause he's Malfoy," Ginny muttered.

"Yeah, that about says it," Ron agreed.

"Let's just avoid him and have a good- oh Merlin's beard- it's Snape! And is he...no...is he wearing leather pants?"

We all stared at Snape as he made his way through the crowd. I almost wouldn't have recognized him if it hadn't of been for those eyes... and that nose. But he did indeed have leather pants on, along with black boots, a Weird Sisters' shirt, and his hair was -shock of all shocks- washed and pulled back into a short ponytail.

"What's the matter with him? Think he's going through a mid-life crisis?" Ron snorted.

"Who knows?! But -shit- he's seen us!"

Snape's eyes locked with mine and we stared each other down.

"Potter..." he hissed.

"Hello, Professor," I replied calmly.

"Sneaking out of the school to go to a club. Hmm... that is definitely grounds for suspension, if not expulsion."
Ginny gasped, clutching Ron's arm, but I only smiled at Snape.

"Nice outfit, Professor. Mind if I take a picture?"

I snatched Ginny's camera from her free hand, and before Snape could react, I snapped a photo.

"Bet this would make a lovely photo for all the notice boards."

"Blackmailing a teacher, hmm? You have sunk to a lower level than I thought possible, Potter."

"All's fair in love and war." I shrugged.

Snape continued to stare me down but I didn't shrink away.

"Maybe it would be best if we forget we ever saw each other. What do you think?"

"Who have I seen?"

"Good. It's settled then."

Snape stalked away and Ron clapped me on the back.

"Good job, Harry. I thought we were goners there for a moment."

"Yeah... thanks..." Ginny mumbled, as color slowly returned to her face.

When we finally made it inside, Ron led us to a table in the corner, near the stage. To my dismay, Malfoy, Blaise Zabini, and Theodore Nott sat at a table across from us. Malfoy sneered at me while ordering a round of Firewhiskey for him and his friends.

"Think we should get some Firewhiskey, too?" Ron asked.

"Why not? I can probably drink Malfoy under the table if I tried."

Before the Weird Sisters had even taken the stage, I was well on my way to becoming thoroughly pissed. Malfoy's gray eyes were quite blurry as well, and I knew he wasn't too far behind me.

"Drunk yet, Potter?" he drawled.

"No. You?"

"Not even close."

Well... we were closer than we thought. Ten minutes into the concert, I could barely sit up straight let alone stand. But Ginny pulled me to my feet anyway and made me dance with her. If I was more aware of the situation I might have enjoyed it. Ron, who was just as drunk as I was, if not more, had fallen asleep at the table. Ginny grew bored with me and went to dance with Blaise. Normally I would have berated her, but at the moment I didn't give a damn. I saw Snape actually dancing with a woman near the bar and I stifled a laugh. If the other students only knew... Maybe I'll post that picture anyway. And I'll definitely have to show it to Lupin.

"Wanna... dance... P-Potter?" a familiar voice slurred behind me.

I turned, a little too quickly, and fell against Malfoy.

"Guess... you do..." he chuckled.

His black dress shirt was unbuttoned, and his dress pants hung just below his hips. Why am I noticing this? Shit... I really am drunk.

"Dance... with you?"

"Yeah. On the table."

I pondered the idea for a moment, and then decided to go ahead with it. So I let Malfoy pull me up onto the table and we swayed to the music. His pelvis ground into my arse as we danced close together, and I could feel his hipbone dig into my back. I'm dirty dancing with Malfoy! Well... I'll be damned. And I'm actually enjoying it! Guess I'm bi... oh well!

I turned to face him and slung my arms around his neck. Our bodies became even closer and our groins massaged against each other. Malfoy moaned into my ear and I pushed against him more. We're practically fucking with our clothes on! Is that- damn- he's got a hard-on. Oh... and so do I... wand meets wand, or so it seems. I giggled- yes, giggled- and Malfoy smirked. Then, I leaned forward and crushed his lips underneath mine. My tongue sought out his and he reached down to cup my arse. I groaned into his mouth, while at the same time shuddering under his touch. When we pulled apart we were breathless. Neither of us noticed the flash of a camera, and we continued to dance, unaware of the others around us. The night was a blur after that...

~ ~ ~

I regretted last night. Or at least, I'd regret it if I could remember it. I haven't been Obliviated or anything. I've just got a hangover like you wouldn't believe. It's Ron's fault. Honestly! My thick best friend talked me into sneaking out of Hogwarts to go to that infernal nightclub, even though I didn't even want to go. The Weird Sisters were good and all, but they were not worth the headache I received.

"I hate you, Ron," I grumbled.

A lump in the bed next to mine groaned and then continued snoring. I get a migraine headache and all Ron does is sleep more. How is that fair? I couldn't go to Madam Pomfrey for relief because she'd have my arse in a sling. And I wouldn't dream of bothering Hermione. She didn't want us to go to begin with. I guess I should have listened to her, but no... Well, she'll say 'I told you so' for sure now.

"Harry! Harry, are you up?"

Speaking of the little bookworm, here she is screaming at me. Dear lord! And I didn't think my head could hurt any worse.

"What do you want, Hermione?" I snapped, peeking around the bed hangings to look at her.

"I... I heard Nott t-talking... to Zabin and... oh Harry... they have pictures!"

"Pictures of what?"

"You... and... and Malfoy... kissing."

"What?!" Oh damn... I shouldn't have done that. Stupid Harry... you're going to make yourself pass out. DO NOT yell anymore. "How could they have pictures of that? I never kissed Malfoy."

"Apparantly, you did. I saw one picture... it was of the two of you on top of a table. You both were so drunk; I'm surprised you could stand. Anyway... you had your arms around Malfoy's neck and then... and then... you kissed him."

That does it! No more sneaking out of Hogwarts! No more Firewhiskey! Actually... I think I'll save myself the trouble and check into a monastery.

~ ~ ~

Meanwhile, down in the Slytherin common room, Malfoy sat on the sofa with his head in his hands. Zabini and Nott danced around him chanting, "you kissed Potter! You kissed Potter". Finally, he could take no more.

"Yes, I bloody well did! And I liked it! Now will you both sod off?"

They stopped dancing, their mouths hanging open in shock. Well... that shut them up. Now, it's off to the hospital wing to get some relief for this migraine. If getting drunk entails dancing with Potter on top of a table and kissing him... I'll never drink again!

* * *