Bonds

"Hermione!" Harry yelled impatiently. "I could do with a hand here, y'know!"

Hermione turned quickly and gasped at the sight that met her. Harry was lying on the ground, his wand flung away from him, no doubt by the tall, black-cloaked wizard standing over him, own wand poised, laughing evilly.

She fumbled for her wand but realised in dismay that it wasn't in the pocket of her robes. Looking around frantically, she spotted it a few metres away thrown against a rock.

"Hang on, Harry!" she called. "I've got to get my wand!"

"Well take your time," Harry rolled his eyes. "I don't exactly have anything better to do." He glanced up at Voldemort, who was still laughing.

"Mwah ha ha ha ha ha ha!" he cackled. "There's nothing you can do, Harry Potter! This is the end of the line for the wizarding world as you know it! I've waited years for the pleasure of killing you myself. Mwah ha ha ha a... a...TCHOO!"

"Bless you," said Harry politely.

"Thankyou," replied Voldemort. "Do you happen to have a tissue?"

Harry rummaged in his pockets. "Here you are."

Voldemort blew his nose loudly and tucked the tissue neatly into the sleeve of his robe. "Thank you. Now where was I?"

"You were brandishing your wand at me," Harry reminded him. "I was lying right here."

"Oh yes, that's right." Voldemort took up his previous position. "Now... Mwah ha ha ha ha!"

"Any time you're ready, Hermione!" shouted Harry, who was starting to panic.

Hermione had watched the sneeze exchange between Harry and Voldemort with disbelief, but recovered herself quickly and strolled casually over to where her wand was lying.

"HERMIONE!"

Hermione, realising that this was not Harry's voice, turned around, surprised, only to see Blaise Zabini running towards her.

"Hermione! Listen! I can't keep it to myself any more; I just have to tell you! I love you! I -" Blaise broke off as he saw Harry and Voldemort staring at him. "Oh, I'm so sorry. Am I interrupting? Please, carry on. I'll wait." He sat down on the dirt to wait for them to finish.

After a moment's silence Blaise realised Harry, Hermione and Voldemort were all still staring at him. "What?"

They all shook themselves out of their reverie and Hermione charged towards Voldemort wand-first, screaming death threats. Her wand jabbed him sharply in the side.

"Aiiieeeeeee!" he screamed and leapt a foot into the air, before disappearing with a large POP. Hermione dusted off the end of her wand, stowed it nonchalantly away and offered her hand out to Harry.

Harry stood up, panting slightly but overall relieved, and gave Hermione a hug. At that moment, Draco Malfoy rushed towards them.

"Harry! Thank Zeus you're alright!"

Harry was rightly taken aback by the sudden entrance of his nemesis and was about to answer rudely when he was cut short by the arrival of Draco's lips upon his own. The shock almost made him fall over but he gained his balance and started kissing Draco back passionately. This is odd, he reflected, I'm kissing the person I hate most... is it normal that I think he's really quite a good kisser?

The telephone rang.

Harry broke apart from Draco and looked confused, as neither he nor Hermione had a mobile phone and neither Draco nor Blaise knew what one was. All four of them stood bewildered for a while until Hermione noticed a bright red telephone sitting on the ground, ringing loudly. Blaise and Draco poked it curiously, and Harry laughed at them and picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Harry?" said a faint, familiar, red-headed voice.

"Ron? Since when can you use a telephone?" Harry asked gobsmacked.

"He can't," the voice replied. "This is Fred. Can I speak to Hermione?"

"Oh," mumbled Harry, slightly ashamed and embarrassed. "Hold on." He handed the receiver to Hermione. "It's Fred, for you."

Hermione told the phone. "Hello?"

"Hermione!" came Fred's voice. "Listen! I can't keep it to myself any more; I just have to tell you! I love you! I -"

"Hang on a minute!" Hermione interrupted, perplexed. "Haven't I already heard this speech today?"

"Oh!" Fred gasped in realisation. "I'm reading from Blaise's script instead of mine! Sorry!"

CLICK