Insomniac

Chapter Seven

Pansy Parkinson, isn't it?" said a voice ten minutes later, and Pansy jumped. Standing beside her and peering down was a familiar-looking man she knew she'd seen before, usually with a patient but weary expression as she and Draco conducted conversations at the back of his classroom without bothering to whisper.

"Professor Lupin?" she asked, looking up. He smiled and sat down beside her.

"Mind if I join you a moment?" he asked. "The view from right here is lovely, don't you think?"

Through the leaded-glass windows over the great doors was a distant view of green and gold hills under high clouds. Pansy smiled a little.

"It's nice," she agreed. There was a brief pause. "Um - Professor Lupin, are you going to teach Defense again next year?"

Remus chewed his lower lip. "No, I don't think so, Pansy," he said.

"Oh," she replied.

"Would you like a cup of tea?" he asked.

"Sure," she said, and she allowed him to take her elbow and help her up. They went into the Great Hall, where Remus said, "Two cups of tea, please," to a passing house-elf. The house-elf smiled and nodded and vanished with a crack.

There was only one table in the Hall again, since the castle had so few occupants. Remus sat down beside Pansy and folded his hands; presently two cups of tea materialized before them, along with a bowl of sugar and a jug of cream. Remus absently stirred cream into his tea while Pansy reached for the sugar bowl. Neither spoke.

Finally, after Remus took a first slow sip of tea, he asked, "So Pansy, what brought you to Hogwarts so early in the morning?"

"I need to see Professor Dumbledore," Pansy replied. "It's - it's about my prefecture."

She wasn't sure why she had added that; she couldn't care less about her prefecture.

"Your prefecture, yes," Remus repeated, sitting back and holding his tea in both hands. Pansy pressed her lips together. "Well, I'm sure he'll be down for breakfast soon enough, you can ask him then."

"Good," she managed to say.

"So how are your holidays going?"

Pansy shrugged. "All right. My parents are in France this week. I'm staying with the Malfoys."

"Oh," said Remus with interest. "Well, it must be nice not worrying about your O.W.L.s, isn't it?"

"Very nice."

There was another lengthy pause. Remus watched Pansy out of the corner of his eye - he wasn't sure what her purpose was today, but he was pretty sure it had nothing to do with her prefecture. He remembered that McGonagall had told him to be on call today, in case either Pansy or Draco left the house; sure enough, he could see her figure hurrying toward him from the entrance hall. As she came closer, Pansy came into view beside him and she stopped.

"Remus, could I have a word, please?" she said from ten feet away. Pansy looked up. "Hello, Miss Parkinson," she added.

"Good morning, Professor McGonagall," Pansy replied softly.

"Excuse me," Remus said to Pansy. McGonagall led him to the doorway and took his arm.

"Pansy left the house shortly after six this morning," she said in a low voice. "Severus tracked her all through Diagon Alley. Apparently she was wandering up and down the streets for almost an hour."

"Do we know what she's doing here?" Remus asked. McGonagall shook her head.

"It could go either way," she said, "but I'm cautiously optimistic. Nymphadora said she looked shaken last night during the raid."

"Do you think she knows something?"

McGonagall glanced at Pansy, who was looking up at the clear, Magical sky with her chin resting in one hand. "She's fairly bright," she said appraisingly. "And given Draco's current state, I would not be surprised to learn that he let slip what he knows."

"Do we know he knows?"

"I think he does. Severus does too. How could he not, with what he said to Ginny Weasley?"

"Well," said Remus, "do you want me to try and get some information out of her? She said she's here looking to talk to Dumbledore about her prefecture."

McGonagall smiled a little. "That's a rather vague cover story," she remarked. "Most Slytherins would have thought of an elaborate excuse, complete with details and working alibis."

"She seems a little distracted," Remus said.

"Why don't you talk to her a little, see what you can learn? Hestia can follow Draco if he leaves Malfoy Manor."

Remus nodded and turned back to the Great Hall as McGonagall walked back toward her office. However, Pansy was no longer alone; Snape was sitting down at the head of the table watching her carefully. A cup of strong black tea appeared before him and he ignored it.

"... didn't expect to find you here this morning, Miss Parkinson. Are things not going well at the Malfoys'?"

"They're fine, sir," said Pansy in what Remus thought was a sort of guarded voice. He sat back down beside her.

"Sorry about that, McGonagall wanted a word," he said. "You know, I've been out of school twenty years and she's still got the ability to tell me what to do."

"Most people do, Lupin," Snape pointed out. Remus glared at him.

"So Pansy, would you like some breakfast?" he asked. "Whatever you want. The house-elves can send it up."

Pansy looked at Remus and then at Snape. "I'm not really hungry," she said. "Really, I'd just like to see Dumbledore."

"I'm sure he'll be down soon. We can start eating without him. I think I'm going to have waffles," he added thoughtfully.

Pansy stared at him for a moment and then said resignedly, "Soft-boiled eggs on toast."

"Ooh, good choice," Remus said. "Severus, anything for you?"

Without answering, Snape fixed Remus with the kind of very annoyed look that made Remus wonder whether he was brushing up on his Legilimency.

"No then," said Remus with a shrug. "All right." As he was speaking, a plate of waffles and a plate of toast appeared, and a second later two small egg-cups with two soft-boiled eggs. Pansy transferred one egg to a slice of toast.

"So how's old Draco doing, then?" Remus asked when she was finishing her first egg.

"He's fine."

Wonderful, Remus thought. This was not going to be easy. He hoped Dumbledore would come down soon enough to take over. "So - what's the issue with your prefecture? Maybe we can answer your question."

"No," said Pansy, looking up from her plate, "no, I really think I ought to ask Dumbledore."

"All right," said Remus amiably. He and Snape looked at each other for a brief second over her head, unintentionally, but they both recognized the frustration in the other's eyes.

"Excuse me," said Pansy then, and she got up and left the room abruptly.

"Bollocks," Remus sighed. Snape got up and followed her after a moment.

In the hallway she was headed down the corridor that led toward the new Divination classroom, looking up at the portraits, trying to find one that would tell her where to find Dumbledore.

"Miss Parkinson," said Snape behind her. She turned around.

"I'm sorry, sir, but I really just need to see Professor Dumbledore, and then I'm going to go," she said very fast.

"If it concerns your prefecture, I'm sure I'm well qualified to answer your question," Snape pointed out, crossing his arms. Pansy looked from his arms to his face, and he wasn't surprised that she looked plainly terrified. She opened her mouth.

"Sir - honestly, I can't - " Oh, for her wand - it was still in her suitcase back at the Malfoys' - and now he'd seen her here, he had to know she knew - and now he'd tell them -

He raised an eyebrow.

"I swear it just has to do with my prefecture, nothing else," she continued, her voice becoming more and more shrill.

"I believe you," he said calmly.

"Then please let me go talk to Dumbledore."

"Is there a problem, Miss Parkinson?" came a new voice, and Pansy whirled around in relief: Dumbledore was coming down the corridor toward her, and he was smiling at her. He nodded at Snape, who turned on his heel and returned to the Great Hall.

"Professor, I really need to talk to you," she said urgently as soon as Snape had gone around the corner. "Privately."

"Yes, I think that would be best," Dumbledore agreed. "Come, we'll have some tea in my office. I think we have much to discuss."

:::

The story didn't take too long to tell: Draco'd been high, she said, and he told her some things she didn't think he'd have told otherwise; the attic had been empty; there'd been that Portkey; Potter was there, under an Invisibility Cloak, and he was alive but asleep; she'd told the Malfoys she'd gone to see her sister.

"And now I'm here," she finished with a small shrug. Dumbledore smiled a little from behind his teacup. He'd been silent throughout the entire interview.

"We have known since Monday that Harry was with you at the Malfoys'," he said at last. Pansy stared.

"You have? - But why haven't you - "

"We have merely been waiting, as it were, for the right opportunity."

He was looking at her very intently. Pansy looked down at her undrunk cup of tea. Another thought occurred to her: "Sir, there's something I have to show you too." She reached into the pocket of her robes and offered as a disclaimer, "Um, I don't know how much you know about this, and I don't mean to be a squealer on anyone, but I thought you might want to see this picture." She placed on his desk between them the photograph of Professor Snape at the Malfoys' all those years ago. Dumbledore took the picture and studied it for a moment, his eyes looking for a moment as though they were a thousand miles away.

"I'd forgotten how very young he was," he murmured. Pansy raised her eyebrows.

"Sir, he's on their side," she insisted, and for a second didn't think on how she had said their side. "He saw me here just now, he was asking me questions - "

"Miss Parkinson, you do not need to worry about Professor Snape," Dumbledore said. "He's been at the Malfoys' because he has been helping us find a way to get Harry out."

"I - I don't think Draco knows that," Pansy replied.

"At the time this photograph was taken - " He turned the picture over to look at the date on the back - "your professor was only nineteen. I'm afraid many people do things at nineteen that they come to... reevaluate."

"Oh," said Pansy after a moment. Dumbledore continued to study the picture.

"Where did you find this?" he asked.

"In the attic, when I was looking for Harry." Dumbledore nodded. After a moment he looked up at her.

"Miss Parkinson, thank you for coming," he said. "I know it was not easy for you to do this." She shook her head in agreement. "And I know that having accepted this much help from you, it is ill-mannered of me to ask more of you. But I must ask."

Pansy placed her teacup back on its saucer with a small clink.

"Miss Parkinson, we both know that we have only a short time before Bellatrix intends to deliver Harry to Voldemort." (Here Pansy flinched.) "Because of that we have been working with some of the Aurors at the Ministry of Magic on finding a way to get Harry out without jeopardizing some of our players."

"Players," Pansy repeated in confusion.

"Voldemort's cause is not the only one utilizing spies," Dumbledore said, and she nodded. "Pansy, do you think it would be possible for you to use your current position as a guest in the Malfoy home to do something we have not yet been able to do?"

"What's that?" Pansy asked hesitantly, though she knew what he was going to say.

"I need you to bring Harry here," he said, and he was looking at her in such a way that made her look down at her teacup.

There was a long silence.

"Miss Parkinson," he said, and she looked up.

"Sir, I don't think you know how hard that will be," she said, and to her surprise her voice was thick with emotion. "They'll kill me."

"You will be protected, of course," Dumbledore assured her, but Pansy shook her head.

"It's not that easy," she exclaimed. "I can't just go in there, grab him, and Floo over here."

"Of course you can't," he said, holding out a hand to quiet her. "Let me tell you what I would like for you to do." She was silent; he continued: "You will need to get back into the room where Harry is being held."

"It's constantly guarded, I only got in because Bellatrix - "

"We can ensure that you will be able to get in," he went on, talking over her. "I am going to give you two things. The first is an Invisibility Cloak. The second is a Portkey. You will give the Portkey to Harry, and it will take him here. I am going to make you Untraceable, as well, because you will need to do magic without the Ministry's knowledge." Here he smiled a little. "It wouldn't do to have you work so much to their benefit, only to be expelled for a little underage magic."

Pansy smiled back wanly. Dumbledore let a silence settle over the room for a few minutes, and then he said, "Tell me what you are thinking."

She sighed. "They'll know," she said, looking up at him. "I can't. They'll know. They'll know it was me."

"I think, Pansy, that you will not be their first suspect." Dumbledore took a long sip of his tea. "Oftentimes we overlook what is right in front of us in favor of explanations we want to believe."

Pansy narrowed her eyes a little. "Sir, can I ask you a question, you know, just out of curiosity?"

He nodded. "Please."

"How - how do you know I'm not lying to you? How do you know I'm not here, you know, for them?"

"Ah," said Dumbledore, "a very good question. I trust you because I can see it in you. I know you're here not as a spy, not as an agent of any side so to speak, and not for your own gain, but as a witch who wishes to protect the life of another."

Pansy felt this was a rather vague answer, but she decided not to press the issue.

"But that is not the complete explanation, and here is where things become a little trickier," he continued, and she looked back at him. "Pansy, have you heard of Legilimency?"

"No."

"Legilimency is a little-known branch of magic that is concerned with the mind. A Legilimens is one who is able to probe into the mind of another and from that extract memories and emotions."

"You looked into my mind," Pansy said flatly.

"In a way," said Dumbledore. "But that is not the point." He continued talking, but Pansy didn't hear him; the thought that her hated headmaster, sitting here blithely talking about her risking her life to rescue Harry Potter for him, had just read her mind horrified her. What in the world had he seen?

"...Are you following, Miss Parkinson?" came his voice, gently interrupting her thoughts, and she looked up. He had his eyebrows raised.

"I'm sorry, no," she said. He smiled at her in a very Oh-you-Slytherins kind of way.

"As I was saying, I am not the only Legilimens in Britain. There are a few others who are well-skilled at the practice that I know of, and I'm sure there are others who have taken it upon themselves to hone their craft. I have reason to believe that Bellatrix Lestrange is one of them."

At this Pansy's mouth opened in horror. "Bellatrix! You think she's been reading my mind?"

"I can't speak to that," said Dumbledore benignly, and Pansy sighed in frustration, "but with these suspicions it will be important that you learn to arm yourself against any penetration into your mind."

She stared at him dumbly.

"The answer to Legilimency is Occlumency," he said. "I would like for you to learn how to block Legilimency. If Bellatrix were to see into your mind, whether or not you decide to assist us, she will be able to see this conversation."

Pansy closed her eyes. He needed to stop talking.

"You will need to begin learning as soon as is possible," he went on. "I can arrange for your first lesson to begin this morning. When you return to Wiltshire, make sure to - "

"Sir," said Pansy, holding out a hand, "sir, please stop talking about this, I can't listen to it anymore. I - sir, they're going to kill me."

Dumbledore sighed. "What you are doing is dangerous, yes," he said quietly. "It's an unfortunate truth that we live in dangerous times. However, I can assure you that should Harry Potter be delivered to Voldemort tomorrow, times will become even more dangerous still."

Pansy looked around the office, willing her lower lip to stop shaking. The portraits on the walls were all eyeing her with interest, though they'd feigned boredom throughout the entire conversation.

"Pansy, I assume you have been keeping yourself well-educated as to the aims of Lord Voldemort's plans," Dumbledore continued, and Pansy nodded, not looking at him. "We have not discussed your opinion on his aims" (she shrugged) "but I believe that without a desire to see him stalled or defeated you would not have come to see me. It's imperative that you understand, Pansy, that Harry is central to Voldemort's eventual defeat. He will be defeated, Pansy - " - here she looked back at him - "and now it becomes clear that you will be central to that defeat as well."

The thought of Draco flooded her mind suddenly, and her eyes welled with tears again.

"I know," she said after a pause, and her voice was small and sad.

There was a sudden knock at the door then, and she jumped; the door behind her opened and Remus was standing there.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, sir," he said, "but I thought you should know that Severus left to Apparate. His Mark burned."

Pansy looked back at Dumbledore, who was expressionless. "Thank you, Remus," he said, and the door closed.

"When Professor Snape returns, I will arrange for you to begin Occlumency lessons." Dumbledore folded his hands on the desk. He took a deep breath. "Miss Parkinson, you have changed the course of this war in more ways than you know." He smiled at her, but she couldn't return the gesture.

:::

Pansy returned to Malfoy Manor after a stop at the Patils' to see Violet, who was sulky at Pansy being allowed to Floo on her own but glad for a break in the monotony nonetheless. Draco was in the kitchen when she tumbled out of the hearth; despite the fact that it was nearly eleven in the morning he was still in his pajamas. Pansy immediately sensed that something wasn't right.

"G'morning," he said with a languid smile, and she saw the half-empty bottle of firewhiskey on the table.

"Hi," she said warily, and she sat down. "I was with Violet."

"Huh," said Draco, and he shuffled over to the cupboard to retrieve a new glass (in the corner Kreacher was sweeping up shards of the one Draco had thrown).

"What are you doing?" she asked. He shrugged.

"Auror took my Muggle stuff," he said by way of explanation.

"So you're drinking firewhiskey for breakfast."

"Needed to do something." He shrugged again. "Want some?"

"No," she said, though she eyed the bottle with interest. She knew Aurors were watching the house; she was to speak with them not long from now, and she was to tell Draco after lunch that she needed to run an errand for her mother. "Where's your mum?"

"Upstairs." Draco sat down hard in the chair next to her and attempted to pour himself another glass. Pansy watched; it took him a long time and much of the firewhiskey wound up on the floor and on his feet.

"Where's your aunt?"

"I dunno. Flooed out of here really fast."

"Oh," said Pansy. She knew where Bellatrix was. Draco took a long drink of firewhiskey and then coughed. Pansy couldn't help laughing a little.

"I'm goin' to Di'gon Alley today to see Harold Dingle," Draco added. "Wan' come?"

"Maybe," she said. He looked at her for a while, but didn't say anything.

There was a rushing noise then and Bellatrix was stumbling out of the hearth. She had a distracted, vicious look in her heavy-lidded eyes and her face was white and pinched.

"Hi," said Draco, a little too loud, oblivious to the tension etched into his aunt's body.

Her eyes focused, and she glared at him. She looked ready to say something, and she opened her mouth, but instead of snarling at them she leaned over the sink and vomited.

"Eeewww," said Draco, wrinkling his nose, and Pansy hit him. Bellatrix muttered a vanishing spell at the sink and left the room, clutching her left arm; she walked into the doorway and swore at it on her way to the stairs.

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