The Extraordinare

It was early on a Thursday when Fred and George, the owners of Wheezly's Whizard Wheezes, the best joke shop in Diagon Alley, woke to their alarms. Birds were singing, the sun was shining, and it was the perfect, storybook day. The twins put on their magenta work robes and walked downstairs. They ate bangers and mash for breakfast, and then opened shop. This is when the weather turned nasty, at least for the twins staring at the shop across the street, which had been vacant since they arrived.

"The nerve of them!" Fred exclaimed.

"Opening up right across the street!" George yelled indignantly.

"You know what we'll have to do don't you?" asked Fred.

"Run them out of OUR bloody street!" the twins exclaimed in unison.

The twins decided to open late, so they could go across the street to try to talk (or hex) sense into the owners of the new establishment. Fred mocked throwing up when he saw the glittering, gold sign above the door. "The Extraordinaire: Your Extraordinary Joke Items Supplier!" George decided that it would be great fun to transfigure the sign to read something...else, if they didn't leave.

"Hello! Welcome to the Extraordinaire!" a tall witch gestured to the shop with a flourish. She was pale, although not as peaky looking as Draco Malfoy. She had black hair that glimmered with blue in the light, and she wore dark green robes with gold letters that read, "The Extraordinary Owner." Fred and George had suddenly taken on the appearance of very surprised goldfish (with bright red hair of course!).

"Oh, hey Ariel! Those aren't customers, those are the Weasleys from the shop across the street," said another witch from Ariel's right. They were twins! What were the odds!

"Whoa, wait a second! Ariel? Ariel Egan?" asked a very stunned Fred. He had heard of Ariel before. She was a year younger than he and his brother, and she had been a Hufflepuff at Hogwarts. He knew of Ariel because she was rather popular with the guys. Amarosa, her sister, was not popular for her looks (though she was Ariel's twin). She was best known for her wit and creativity, although Fred hadn't heard of her at all. It was a common Hufflepuff mystery as to why Amarosa wasn't sorted into Ravenclaw, but whenever asked, she would just shrug her shoulders and change the subject. Both girls were intelligent and got decent grades, but weren't known for being pranksters. No one, least of all our redheaded twins, would have ever guessed they would open a joke shop.

"Yes, that's Ariel, and I'm her twin sister Amarosa."

"I know you two! You're a legend at Hogwarts! I don't believe I didn't recognize you!" exclaimed Ariel when Fred and George's identity suddenly struck her.

"So, how did you know Ariel, I didn't think you two ever dated?" Amarosa gave her sister a wry smile.

"Oh! No! Er, I just knew her by reputation, but I didn't know she had a twin," Fred replied, still stunned.

"Well!" Amarosa exclaimed in mock indignation. "Seriously though, I'm not offended. In fact, I'm honored. You guys gave us the courage to start up this place--we're honored you've come over!"

"Hey Ams! Why don't we give 'em the grand tour!" Ariel piped in.

Fred and George were horrified. They had been responsible for this! Neither twin felt they could stand another moment, both bolted out of the shop.

"Unbelievable!" shouted the twins after they exited the shop and took a gasp of the "fresh air".

"We'll just have to state our case calmly," said George.

"YEAH, WE WERE HERE FIRST!" shouted Fred.

"Calmly, mate, calmly!"

Both boys composed themselves and walked back into the shop. This time, they noticed some of the products. George couldn't help but swell a little with pride as he thought, "We inspired this!" Fred was actually about to pick up a round ball with green dust packed in it when George slapped his hand away. "They're the enemy mate!" he hissed. The twins marched solemnly to the offices in back, trying to look unimpressed and failing dismally.

"Look, we're honored you chose us as role models, but..."

"GET OUT OF OUR BLOODY STREET!" Fred interrupted, yelling.

George gave him a menacing look and continued in his calm manner. "I actually agree with my brother. We were here first. It's our thing! YOU'RE CUTTING IN ON OUR TERRITORY!" Now it was Fred's turn to calm George down.

"Okay, before you guys waste any more breath, NO!"

"We're not leaving!" Ariel finished emphatically.

Fred and George were fuming, but their brilliant minds were already scheming. They skulked out of the shop, making plans to make this new threat leave, plans which were heated up when they watched many of their regular customers go into the new shop. Neither twin slept well that night, and they got up early in the morning. They put on plain black robes and walked across the street. George transfigured the sign above Ariel and Ams' shop to read, "The Extraordinaire: Your Supplier of Vomitous and Inferior Goods!" Fred used Alohomora to break into the shop and change the color scheme. The yellows became yellow bogie colored. The blacks became brown bogie colored, and the green looked and smelled like vomit. If anyone had touched it, it would feel like vomit as well. Fred and George looked around at their work and were very proud, and very grateful they had brought their No Smell Masks, a revamped idea based on the Muggle gas mask.

"Well, mate, I think we did a good job, and..."

"It's really not all that different smelling!" grinned George, having interrupted Fred. Both twins laughed and proudly returned to their shop, which they opened early in celebration. They couldn't stop laughing as people, ignoring the sign, went into the Egans' shop and had to run back out. Many of their regular customers came back. Ariel and Amarosa, however, wouldn't let them go without a fight. Once they finally finished fixing their own shop, they went over to Fred and George's while they were at a lunch break.

"This means war!" Ariel had shouted when they got into their shop that morning. They had rooms in the Leaky Cauldron because there weren't room above their shop.

When the girls entered Wheezly's Whizard, Wheezes, they were impressed. They knew about some of the twins' prank items, having used Puking Pastilles and others in their sixth year, but they had no idea the twins' wit extended beyond pranking. It almost hurt them to go through with their plan for these items, almost! They smashed every product in the store to bits and covered everything in green ooze. Once they were finished, they ran back across the street to their shop where they watched at the window for Fred and George's reaction.

"I think that was the best stew I've had in a while," George commented.

"Oh, yes, I agree! Of course, mum's is be...AAAAH! WHAT HAPPENED!"

"I told you we shouldn't have left the shop! It's those Egan twins! They've done this!"

Fred whipped around to see their rivals grinning and waving cheekily at him from their window. He was ready to charge over there and wring their necks, if it weren't that George had cast Petrificus Totalus on him a moment earlier.

"Let's wage war with our brains and not our fists, eh? They are girls after all!" He ended the spell once Fred's eyes showed he was calm.

"Humph! Girls! More like dragons!" Fred exclaimed, but made no motion to strangle anyone.

Both twins felt the girls' had stooped very low. At least they hadn't touched the Egans' products--everything was destroyed! Well that was an exaggeration, they were able to clean up the slime, and salvage most of their products, but it didn't make things any better. Fred and George, realizing the lengths the Egan twins would go to, decided to call a truce. They would let the Egans stay as long as they could keep their business.

In the end, George and Ariel started dating, and Fred suspected that George was passing her tips, but George always insisted he wasn't. The Egans were around for as long as Wheezly's Whizard Wheezes, and both shops would eventually pass to the newer generations.