The Reality of it All

The Reality of it All

By, Cashmere

"What are you thinking?" I asked, gently brushing a loose strand of hair from his face, his stormy gray eyes holding a blank stare.

We were sitting on a small cliff-like area over looking the lake, isolated from the rest of the world. His arms were wrapped around me in a protective manor, as we sat, enjoying what little time we had left of each other.

A few stray leaves floated through the air around us as a small wind passed along. His large ebony cloak, with the Malfoy coat of arms embroidered on it, covered up the two of us. The air smelled of crisp ginger snaps and the clouds blocked out most of the sun. But despite the cool damp weather you could just make out a few students swimming down by the lake. Everything seemed to be perfect, or so I thought.

"We can't keep this up," he stated simply, as if announcing that he would be heading off to the library, or something of unimportance. I looked up curiously, just to see an even colder stare. What was he trying to say? He couldn't possibly. . . .

"I graduate in a month," he continued. "It won't work out--we won't work out. All the odds are up against us. It just wasn't meant to--" But he was cut off; the Weasley temper had gotten to me again.

Before I knew it, I was practically shouting at the top of my lungs.

"Now don't you start with me on that again! I thought that after all we've been through in the past years, how could you think like that? Something--someone--out there wanted us together! What we have--it's something many people will never even begin to imagine possible! True, honest to God, reach for the stars, grand slam, wonderful, impossibly possible--" I was beginning to run out of things to say, desperately grabbing on to what ever entered my mind. "World Cup worthy, purely sinful, snitch catching, unforgivably forgivable, beautiful, never ending, love. Love, Draco, love. And that's what makes it all worth while in the end. That's what we work for our whole life. Even if it lasts for all but a few seconds. And once you have something that special you can't just give up! You just can't!"

I gasped for air now, standing up, looking down at him. Throughout my little speech I must have pulled myself from his arms and gotten up.

"So. . . ?" I asked, questioningly, almost afraid for a response. My eyes were starting to water. Maybe I wouldn't have gone off like that if it weren't for the look on his face. So serious. So god damn dead serious.

"Gin," he said, standing up grabbing hold of my hands. "The war is still raging on. I've got to choose a side. And you know, I can't join Potter and everyone. I mean--I might not agree with all of the Dark Lord's ideas, but I just can't see myself fighting alongside them." He spat it out like they were some vile disease.

A few tears leaked out of my eyes; I gave up trying to hold them back.

"You could always go neutral?" It was more of a question than a suggestion.

"I did think about it," he started off saying slowly. "But its better just to go ahead and join now. You know I'd have to eventually."

I nodded mutely, knowing I was fighting a losing battle. He reached over and cupped my face in his hands.

"I will always love you. No matter what. Don't you ever forget that. You hear? Don't you ever forget that."

I smiled a forced smile. "I know," I said.

And then we just stood there, holding each other like our lives depended on it. We were unaware of what may happen tomorrow, next week, month, or years to come, but somehow I knew we would meet again. Marry, maybe even start a family, if we lived through the war. I knew it would be tough, but I had my thoughts. No matter what, nobody could ever take my mind, my hopes and dreams. Maybe they will someday become a reality. Maybe I will die tomorrow. So many worries and frights of what will come, but for the moment, I am content.