The Werewolf Prank

"Oh dear," said an unfamiliar voice as the boys filed in to the office, "what is it this time?"

Severus stopped in the doorway and looked around, startled. Portraits of wizards and witches in old-fashioned robes covered the walls of the Headmaster's office. The speaker was a dark-haired wizard with a pointy beard, who was looking disdainfully down his nose at them all from the gilded frame of his portrait.

"No wait, don't tell me, let me guess -- you've been selling illegal study aids to the student body again? Or maybe you've set fire to the Charms corridor this time."

Having taken in the many portraits and curious magical devices in the room, Severus found that Potter and Black were now seating themselves in front of the Headmaster's desk. Hastily Severus crossed the room to sit down in the remaining chair, near the wall where the portrait of the unknown wizard hung, and right next to Black.

Dumbledore sighed as he sat down behind his massive desk. He steepled his fingers and peered at each of them in turn over the top of his half-moon spectacles.

"Tell me what happened," he said at last, his eyes resting on Severus.

Severus took a deep breath. He knew what had happened to him, but in this unfamiliar environment, with Black and Potter doubtless planning to back each other up, he had to be convincing.

"Black and Potter tricked me into following the tunnel under the Whomping Willow tonight, sir," he began, "knowing full well there was a werewolf waiting at the other end."

"I didn't trick you," Black interrupted, in an indignant tone that made Severus grit his teeth. "I just told you how to freeze the tree. And James had nothing to do with it."

"When did this happen?" asked Dumbledore.

"Early this evening, sir," said Severus. "We were planting Tibetan chomping cabbages for Professor Sprout when Lupin emerged from the castle and approached the Whomping Willow."

"No doubt accompanied by Madam Pomfrey?"

Severus nodded confirmation, and quickly seized the opening. "And that was when Black suggested I follow him and explained how to stop the Whomping Willow."

The Headmaster paused, as Severus scrutinized his face for a hint of his reaction.

"Why did you tell him?" Dumbledore asked quietly, turning to Black.

Black shrugged. "He wanted to know?" he said flippantly.

"It was a plan to murder me, Headmaster," said Severus, keeping his eyes on Dumbledore. Merely picturing the nonchalance of Black's expression was bad enough. If he saw it, he was not sure he could keep his cool. "I am certain of it."

There was a sharp intake of breath to Severus's right.

"Murder?" hissed the bearded wizard, staring in shock at Black.

"Sirius never expected him to actually listen, sir," Potter interjected, gazing earnestly at the Headmaster.

"Oh, shut up," Black said.

Surprised, Severus glanced at Black, who was glaring at the portrait. He had been addressing the unknown wizard, not Potter, Severus realized.

"Whips and chains, Dumbledore," said the portrait in response. "That's the only way to deal with delinquents like this. I believe there is a well-oiled set of chains to be found in the caretaker's office: hang him up by his thumbs, I say. If that doesn't teach him, nothing will."

Severus eyed the wizard with interest. Who was he? Regardless, the thought that Black had been in this office often enough to have raised the ire of one of the portraits in it was certainly encouraging.

"Yes, thank you, Phineas," said Dumbledore.

"Sir," Potter continued, "Snape kept asking questions about where Remus went off to every month." Severus fumed silently. Evidently, Potter and Black had covered a lot of ground in their short time together.

"He seemed to think we were all up to something," said Black, "and if he found out he could get us all expelled." This was ridiculous. Black and Potter were making excuses for their actions, and the Headmaster was letting them ramble on!

"So I annoyed Black," Severus interjected heatedly. "That is a reason to kill me? Black even said it when he told me how to stop the Willow -- 'you want proof we're sneaking out?' -- those were his exact words, Headmaster."

"Is this true?" Dumbledore asked Black.

"I don't know," said Black. "I guess I probably said something like that...."

Severus sneered at this blatant attempt to minimize the damage. It seemed the Headmaster, for once, was seeing clearly, for a look that might have been disappointment crossed his face.

"Thumbscrews," the wizard named Phineas suggested. "I left a few pairs in one of the storage dungeons. I'm telling you, Dumbledore, they will do the boy a world of good."

Severus looked at the portrait again. Robes in Slytherin green and silver ... use of the Hogwarts storage areas ... it must be a former Headmaster.

"No one asked you, you horrible old man," snapped Black.

"But Professor," Potter jumped in, "Sirius didn't mean for him to go, he just thought --"

"I thought maybe if I told him something, he'd realize we had nothing to hide and lose interest," Black added, his face a mask of innocence. Severus longed to spit in it.

"So killing me was supposed to be a way of keeping your little excursions a secret then?" demanded Severus.

"What little excursions?" Potter asked impatiently. "Who'd be mad enough to go sneaking out after a werewolf on full moon?"

"I didn't know about the werewolf," Severus pointed out in a reasonable tone. He wasn't crazy. Or overwrought. Merely, very angry.

"Mr. Potter," said Dumbledore. "If Mr. Black did indeed act alone, how did you come to know of all this?" Severus grinned. An excellent question.

"He told me," Potter responded.

"And you thought Mr. Snape would listen to him?" Dumbledore probed further.

"I thought he might," said Potter slowly.

"You went straight to the tunnel to investigate?"

Potter nodded.

"When was this? As in, how long after Mr. Black had imparted this information to Mr. Snape?"

"Er --" Potter seemed momentarily at a loss.

"I didn't tell him until much later," Black cut in hastily. "I didn't -- I didn't think it would be that big a deal."

"I just had a bad feeling," Potter said. "I figured I should at least check it out."

"But Mr. Black disagreed?" Dumbledore asked. "He still felt there was no danger of Mr. Snape taking his advice?"

"Um, yeah," said Potter.

"Did the two of you argue over this point?" Severus looked over at Potter and Black, whose looks of surprise matched his own. The Headmaster smiled.

"Miss Evans had told me that she encountered Mr. Black in low spirits," he explained. "She seemed to think there had been a disagreement between the two of you, and I merely wondered if this was what it was over."

"Oh, yeah," said Potter. "I mean, I thought it was stupid of him to tell in the first place, but I guess he thought I was overreacting." He got cold feet, more like. And just as Severus had surmised, Black had tried to talk him back into it.

"Rubbish," said Severus forcefully. "Professor, Potter was in on it too. They were both feigning plans to meet with Lupin later, throughout the evening."

"What?" Potter exclaimed. "When?"

The look of indignation on Potter's face was almost enough to make Severus doubt his story, if it weren't for the cold, hard facts.

"In the library," Severus replied, looking straight at the Headmaster. "Black was angling to snog that blonde Ravenclaw from Charms" -- Phineas snorted, but Severus wasn't going to let the portrait interrupt his exposition of the facts -- "when Potter interrupted to remind him they had to go find 'Moony.' He knew I was within earshot. And minutes later, Black was telling him they couldn't go until he'd taken a shower." Severus flushed as he remembered the scene outside the library, but he went on without pause. "There must have been a dozen witnesses at least, sir. I would be happy to give you some of their names."

"There will be no need for that, Mr. Snape," said Dumbledore. "I believe you."

"It was a joke, sir," said Potter quickly. "We had no idea he was listening in on our private conversations. We say stuff like that every full moon."

"Private?" Severus interjected, incredulous. An act for a crowd of admiring spectators, private?!

"You know," Black said aggressively, "even if we were sneaking out, how's that any of your business?"

"Right," Potter chimed in. "Even if you were right about us, you would have been just as 'out-of-bounds' as we were, trying to get the proof."

Severus glowered at the both of them, momentarily at a loss for words.

"Very well," Dumbledore began.

"If you ask me," Black interrupted, "anyone stupid enough to miss this obvious snag rather deserves --"

"Idiot boy!" snarled Phineas, as Potter belatedly stomped on Black's foot with his own. "Shut your mouth!"

Black's face reddened. He slouched in his chair and crossed his arms defiantly.

"Very well," Dumbledore began again.

"That proves it," breathed Severus, his eyes intent on Black. "You know, Black, this whole night shall have been most worthwhile, just to see you expelled in the end."

Dumbledore cleared his throat softly.

"Now see here, Dumbledore," said Phineas.

"Sirius will not be expelled, Phineas," Dumbledore said simply, not looking up. Severus' head jerked around in shock. What?

"I just think it would be unnecessary," Phineas added smoothly. "After all, it's not his fault this chump -- Snape, was it? -- decided to blatantly flout school rules and visit Hogsmeade in the dead of night."

"Phineas," said Dumbledore, with a warning note in his voice.

"What?" Severus shouted angrily.

"Oh yes," said Phineas snidely. "Whether or not my worthless great-great grandson has been trying to kill you" -- he indicated Black with a glance -- "it certainly seems as though he could not have managed it without some very sporting cooperation on your part." Oh, naturally, Severus realized with disgust. A Black was a former Headmaster.

"Whether or not," Severus snarled at the portrait of the elder Black. "You couldn't care less either, could you? The family resemblance is striking."

"He's right," Potter spoke up. "You were the one who broke the school rules. They're there for a reason, you know, they're for your own safety." Absurd. Potter was lecturing him about school rules?

"Such as the secret of the Willow, you mean, Potter?" Severus retorted.

"Enough," Dumbledore cut in. Severus looked away and took a deep breath. The Headmaster has spoken quietly, but there was no mistaking his determination. Black and Potter, too, remained silent.

"I should say so," muttered Phineas. "The sheer insolence that goes unpunished around here -- students in my day would never have dreamed of --"

"Phineas, please," said Dumbledore, sounding rather tired. "If you won't allow me to finish dealing with my students then I am afraid we shall be here all night."

"Who's being insolent now?" Black muttered under his breath.

"I heard that," said Phineas. "You know, the discipline here may be woefully inadequate for dealing with the likes of you, but I do look forward to seeing what your mother has to say when she learns you've been --"

"That information is not to leave this room, Phineas," Dumbledore interrupted.

"What? But surely the boy's parents have a right to know if --"

"Not to leave this room, Phineas," Dumbledore repeated firmly.

The former Headmaster stood there for a moment. He had clenched his white gloved hands into fists and seemed ready to continue the argument, his expression mirroring the mutinous expression on his descendant's face. Dumbledore's grave expression must have cowed him however, for he turned and stalked out of his frame. Severus was not sorry to see him go; one less Black in the room had to be a good thing.

With Phineas Black's departure, the room fell silent. Dumbledore fixed his eyes on Severus, who glared back. He'd known it, really. Slughorn had probably just been trying to warn him, in his annoying way ... Black would get away with it.

"I could not help overhearing, Mr. Snape, a portion of your conversation with Professor Slughorn outside my office," Dumbledore remarked.

Severus was taken aback by the abrupt change of topic. Was the Headmaster reading his mind? He'd seen references suggesting this was possible. Eye contact, he recalled suddenly, was necessary. Blast. He didn't care if Dumbledore knew what he thought of him, he decided, staring defiantly back at the Headmaster, especially not if he was going to make a fuss about a bit of bad manners while letting Black off.

"It seems, then," Dumbledore continued, "that you would disagree with the position that only those students deemed worthy by some criteria should be permitted to attend Hogwarts?"

Severus glowered at him. What did the Headmaster expect him to do, blurt out that he was the son of a Muggle, as well as a recipient of funds for indigent students, and as such unworthy in the eyes of the purebloods?! "Hogwarts is open to all students in Britain and Ireland born with magical ability," he answered noncommittally.

"And you approve?" Dumbledore pressed.

"Yes," said Severus. He was becoming annoyed by this digression.

"Excellent," said Dumbledore. "Then I am confident you would not wish to prevent a deserving student from completing his education here."

Severus realized abruptly where this line of questioning must be going. He was not going to consent to this. The Headmaster was insane to think he would. "Black is not deserving!" he spat out.

"I am not referring to Mr. Black," said Dumbledore calmly. "Whatever his deserts, I could not expel him without having to explain my reasons. The resulting furor would certainly bring about the removal of Mr. Lupin from the school -- as would the disclosure of tonight's events from any other source."

Severus was momentarily silenced. He hadn't given Lupin much thought. The Headmaster's blue eyes regarded him steadily.

"Can I count on your cooperation in this matter?" he asked softly.

"What?" Potter yelped. "Sir, aren't you going to Obliviate him?" The possibility had not even crossed Severus' mind. Instinctively he pushed back his chair and started to rise.

"No, Mr. Potter," said Dumbledore firmly. "I prefer not to -- please take your seat, Mr. Snape -- not to tamper with my students' memories like that."

Reassured, Severus sat back down, his eyes on the Headmaster.

"But sir, you can't just let him walk out of here knowing Remus is a werewolf!" Black protested.

"He'll go straight back to the Slytherin common room and tell anyone who'll listen to him," Potter added.

"Well, I sincerely hope you're wrong about that, Mr. Potter," Dumbledore replied calmly. Severus looked over at Black and Potter, enjoying the nearly identical expressions of frustration and disbelief on their faces.

"But he hates us, sir," Black protested. "That was the whole reason he went out tonight."

"Exactly," said Potter. "He'll do anything to get one of us expelled. He'll do it just to get back at Sirius."

"Mr. Snape?" said Dumbledore. His eyes, his tone ... he meant it, Severus was abruptly sure. He was asking, and he believed Severus would do it, too.

"It doesn't matter what he says," said Black. "There's no way he could be trusted with something like this, sir." This, from the boy who had sought to use that very secret as a murder weapon, earlier in the evening.

"I could hardly do a worse job at keeping Lupin's secret than you, Black!" Severus retorted.

"My sincere thanks, Mr. Snape," Dumbledore cut in, his blue eyes twinkling. "I believe you will do a better job."

All three boys stared at him, their mouths hanging slightly open.

"But --" said Potter, speechless with frustration.

Severus remained silent, wishing he had not allowed himself to be provoked by Black. But the obvious distress of his adversaries at the turn of events helped to reconcile him to his commitment.

"I know that it is a big responsibility Mr. Snape has undertaken at my request," said Dumbledore, "and I believe he is up to the task. But life can be full of temptations. As friends of Mr. Lupin, I think it would behoove you to do what you can to ensure Mr. Snape does not face many."

Unless Severus was much mistaken, the Headmaster had just warned Black and Potter to lay off him.

"That's not fair," said Black. "I'm the one who messed up here, why should Remus have to pay for it?"

Dumbledore regarded Black for a moment, then sighed, checked his watch, and conjured four steaming mugs of hot chocolate with a quick wave of his wand. After the boys had each taken a mug, the Headmaster spoke.

"Mr. Black, what do you think would have happened tonight if Mr. Potter had not had -- as he calls it -- a 'bad feeling' about the situation? Had not gone to check the tunnel?"

Black made a show of sipping his hot chocolate. Naturally, he would not admit what he had planned, Severus thought to himself.

"I think Mr. Lupin may have wound up paying a far greater price for your indiscretion than he is under the present circumstances," Dumbledore continued. "But, as you have so astutely pointed out, it would be quite unfair if the burden of the consequences fell entirely to him. Fifty points from Gryffindor, I think."

Severus had known something like this was coming, ever since the Headmaster had made clear he would not expel Black, yet still, he could not repress his indignation. "That's it? Excuse me, sir, but fifty points from Gryffindor? For attempted murder?"

"Not quite," Dumbledore replied. "I suspect Professor McGonagall will be in touch to arrange detentions for him as well." He looked at Black again. "Mr. Black, I believe that you did not truly intend for anyone to die tonight. However, it is important that you understand how a single mistake -- made in a moment of thoughtless anger -- could easily have had such dire consequences." Black stared down at the desk, feigning distress, no doubt.

"I hope you appreciate how lucky you are that Mr. Potter was able to intervene in time," Dumbledore continued. "And that you will not have to go through the rest of your life with the knowledge that you had helped bring about the deaths of three of your classmates -- two of them your very close friends. I fear that if you cannot learn to control your temper and think through your actions more carefully, you may not be so lucky next time."

"Yes, sir," Black mumbled, not looking up.

"Unbelievable," Severus whispered.

"Mr. Snape, I'm sorry to have to say it, but you too were out of bounds tonight. Even if your classmates were breaking the rules, it would not have been your place to follow them and collect proof. You could have confided your suspicions in any member of the school staff, all of whom were aware of Mr. Lupin's condition and would have assured you that the situation was under control." Nothing about Potter and his gang was under control, Severus fumed inwardly. And no one on the staff knew, or cared.

"Instead you chose a dangerous path, and it should hardly come as a surprise that it lead you straight to danger," Dumbledore continued. He had that right, Severus reflected bitterly. "Twenty points from Slytherin, I think, and I hope you too will think through your actions more carefully in future. I shall also speak with Professor Slughorn, who may be contacting you to arrange detentions as well."

Severus clenched his jaw to stop an angry, and pointless, retort. It was ignorance, not heedlessness, that had led him to stick his neck in a noose tonight. He would indeed think his actions through more carefully in the future, now that Black had made clear how far he was willing to go.

"And finally, Mr. Potter," Dumbledore said, sounding slightly more cheerful. "The quick thinking and courage you displayed tonight were most admirable. While your actions speak for themselves, I think a hundred points for Gryffindor are certainly in order as well."

"Thank you, sir," Potter responded.

"Well, it's getting quite late, and I have certainly talked on long enough," said Dumbledore at last. "I suspect we are all more than ready to return to our nice warm beds and try to put the night's events behind us." He stood up and walked toward the door; the three boys followed suit.

"I do trust," said Dumbledore, pausing by the door to look at Severus, "that after tonight, no one here would intentionally endanger the well-being of a fellow student, and that no one" -- he turned his gaze to Black and Potter -- "would give him a reason to do so. Goodnight."