The Last Time

Chapter 23

(Notes on this chapter: In OotP it was made clear that students could Apparate at the age of 17, which the trio is now - actually Ron is 18 at this point - but I did not know that at the time I originally wrote this, thus students in school have to rely on Portkeys.)

"Ron? Can you hear us?" said Harry anxiously.

Hermione couldn't say anything; her throat was burning. She heard Percy's voice in her head - don't go getting your hopes up - and Ginny's stubborn I know he's going to be okay! He is!

Then Ron's hands went limp again.

Harry swore under his breath, and his shoulders sagged in disappointment. "I must have been imagining it...."

"No, you didn't imagine it," said Hermione. "I felt it too."

A flutter of movement from the doorway caught Hermione's eye - it was Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, looking at them curiously.

"We thought we heard an argument," said Mr. Weasley, closing the door behind him.

"Er...well...sort of," stammered Harry. "Sorry - it was my fault - "

"No, it was mine," said Hermione quickly. "We didn't mean to bother Ron, really - "

"It's all right, Hermione," said Mrs. Weasley kindly, sitting down beside her, near Ron's head. "I know you and Harry care for Ron very much. This is hard on all of us." Unlike when they first arrived, Mrs. Weasley did not seem as though she were about to burst into tears again. She smoothed Ron's hair and tugged on his blanket a bit to straighten it.

Hermione felt a huge, guilty lump in her throat, and could only respond with a nod.

Mr. Weasley sat down beside Harry, and looked at Hermione as if she were an exotic species of animal in a glass cage at the zoo. "I want to know - I mean, what did you do out there, Hermione? I've never seen anything quite like it before...Albus said to let you explain...." He sounded awed, and a little bit worried.

Hermione swallowed hard to get rid of the lump in her throat, and began to tell them about Harry's nightmares, Master Raymond, and most everything that followed, while leaving out as many of the personal details as possible.

Mr. Weasley smiled in spite of himself when Hermione told him that Ron had gotten in a fight with Draco Malfoy and smashed his hand into the wall. He started to ask why but was interrupted by an exclamation from Mrs. Weasley, and Hermione quickly continued the story, not wanting the Weasleys to know what had started the fight. When she told them about fixing Harry's broken nose, Mrs. Weasley turned white.

"Harry!" Mrs. Weasley said severely. "What is the matter with you children? Getting in all these fights...well, I never...your poor mother would be so disappointed...." Then she clapped her hands to her mouth in horror at what she'd just said. "I didn't mean that, Harry, I'm so sorry...."

"It was my fault, Mrs. Weasley," Harry said quickly. "I was rude to someone, and they punched me for it. I deserved it." He glanced guiltily at Ron, and then looked away. "My mum probably would be disappointed in me."

The sound of Harry's voice, so full of concern and remorse, made the lump in Hermione's throat even larger.

Before either of them could ask Harry who he'd fought with, Hermione began to tell them about what had happened on the Quidditch pitch. Merely remembering it had been bad enough, but telling Ron's parents just what she'd seen and felt of his injuries was excruciating.

It was like she was experiencing it all over again.

Her throat burned and felt tight, and her eyes stung with unshed tears. "I tried to do something, honestly, I did. But I wasn't fast enough, or strong enough, and I couldn't do it...I'm sorry...." Then her voice gave out completely and she dropped her head to the mattress, hiding her face from the Weasleys.

I will not cry in front of Ron's parents.

I will NOT.

She felt Mrs. Weasley put an arm around her. "Hermione, love, don't say that," she said softly. "Ron is very lucky that you and Harry were there to help him. You saved his life...you don't know how grateful we are."

"But I didn't do enough!" Hermione sat up and swiped furiously at her eyes with her sleeve.

"Hermione," said Harry, eyeing her warningly.

"Don't start with me, Harry," she said.

Mr. Weasley looked at her strangely, and then at Harry. "What is it?"

Hermione stared at Harry, willing him not to say anything, but he either didn't notice or ignored her. "Hermione's got this idea that she didn't do enough for Ron - no matter that she almost killed herself in the process - and she thinks it's her responsibility to try again. Professor Dumbledore's told her she's not to use her abilities again until she learns more about them, for her own safety."

Mr. and Mrs. Weasley stared.

"Hermione, you mustn't think like that," said Mr. Weasley. "It was one thing for you to do it out there on the Quidditch pitch; it was an emergency, you acted on instinct, and it was very brave of you. But Ron's out of immediate danger for now, and there's no need for you to put yourself at that kind of risk."

"But he might not walk again!" Hermione said, feeling the lump in her throat return. "He might not be able to fly - to play Quidditch! Don't you know what that's going to do to him?"

Mrs. Weasley looked at Ron, and smoothed his hair again in a fiercely maternal gesture. "I do know, dear. He's very proud, Ron is...so independent. I felt like he never wanted me to mother him, never wanted me to fuss over him...."

She got a very wistful look in her eyes, and Hermione felt that she really shouldn't be listening to this; it was family business, something very private that she wasn't a part of, but Mrs. Weasley continued talking, almost as if Hermione and Harry weren't there at all.

"I didn't get to give him the attention he needed...he didn't get to be the baby long. I was sick a lot with Ginny, and didn't have the energy to deal with Ron like I should have, especially on top of the twins...and then Ginny was born. And then - well, I wasn't myself after she was born - sometimes it happens when you're a mum; you're sad a lot and you don't know why, and you feel like you can't do the things you want to do. Ginny was a sickly baby, she needed so much handling...Ron was such a good boy, he hardly fussed at all, so it was easy to ask Percy to help with him...I tried to treat them the same, but I couldn't help it.

"I neglected Ron and smothered Ginny."

Hermione looked from Mrs. Weasley to Mr. Weasley, who had the same far-away expression on his face that his wife's did; and then to Harry, who looked extremely uncomfortable at listening to Mrs. Weasley's revelations. Hermione still felt strange to be listening to such a personal story, but she thought it would be rude to interrupt, and talking seemed to be making the older woman feel better.

Mrs. Weasley continued stroking Ron's hair, but didn't say anything for a while. Then she suddenly got up and walked over to the window, looking out at the small garden below, where a few people sat out in the sun talking, bundled in cloaks against the brisk March wind. The sunlight streaming through the window caught in her once-bright red hair, highlighting the strands of grey at her temples.

"I knew it always bothered him that we were so poor," she said softly. "It bothered me too. I always felt so guilty that his clothes had already been worn by five other brothers, but Ginny got mostly new ones. It wasn't fair; but I couldn't ask Ginny to wear boy's clothes, and I couldn't afford to buy Ron anything new. As they got older, Ginny was still sickly at times, and Fred and George were always in trouble, so I kept pushing Ron to the side, though I didn't mean to.

"I couldn't give him the material things, and by the time the twins were off to school and I could give him the attention he deserved, he didn't want it anymore. No boys do at that age, you know. They think they're grown. Then when he went to school he got even more hand-me-downs. I didn't want it to be that way. I wanted to give him so much more, to try to make up for what I couldn't do for him when he was little.

"I was so proud of Ron when he told us that the Tornados were scouting him. He'd finally found something that he could do, something that was brand new to the family. Charlie had been an excellent player, and he could have played for England, but he didn't. And Ron was going to be able to stand out on his own for a change. He got his hopes so high. He was so obsessed with making this team....If he can't...." Mrs. Weasley broke off and stared out the window, her lips pressed into a tight line, arms crossed over her chest.

"That may be partly my fault," said Mr. Weasley. He hesitated, as if unsure of what to say.

"Sir?" said Harry, obviously confused.

I did nominate Mr. Weasley for the Trials. Only someone in the Ministry can block a nomination like this. It doesn't happen often. Professor McGonagall's voice sprang up in Hermione's mind and combined with the odd look she'd seen on Mr. Weasley's face when his wife had asked Hermione about the Auror Trials at the Quidditch match.

"It was you, wasn't it?" asked Hermione. "You were the one who stopped Ron from going through the Auror Trials? Why?"

Mr. Weasley nodded. "I knew the Tornados were interested in Ron, you see; I'd heard from someone in the Department of Magical Games and Sports. I also knew Minerva McGonagall had nominated him - all of you, in fact - to go through the Auror Trials. I believed Ron would jump at the chance to play Quidditch, but if he had the chance to be an Auror, with you two - I have no doubt that you will be, by the way - that he'd go that way whether he really wanted to or not, just to be with you. And I was afraid if he did, if he became an Auror, without really wanting to, he'd get hurt."

"Arthur! Why didn't you tell me?" exclaimed Mrs. Weasley.

Harry looked at Hermione as if to say what do we do now? He clearly did not want to sit through a fight between Ron's parents, and neither did Hermione; but she couldn't think of a graceful way out of the conversation, so she just sat dumbly and listened to Mr. Weasley.

"Molly, please...just listen. It's a dangerous line of work, being an Auror...I didn't want anything to happen to him. Not that I want anything to happen to the two of you, either, of course - " he managed a weak smile at Harry and Hermione - "but I don't think he'd have the same devotion to the job as you would. So I talked to Hebblethwaite with the Auror Selection Committee, and he took care of it." He let out a deep sigh, looking defeated. "I just wanted to protect him. But it was wrong of me. He's grown now - I can't make those kind of decisions for him anymore."

Mrs. Weasley stepped away from the window, and the fury building inside her was clearly evident on her face.

Hermione and Harry got to their feet. "We'll just...go...now," said Harry, as he and Hermione sidled towards the door, not waiting for either of Ron's parents to acknowledge their departure.

The door closed behind them just in time; they could hear Mrs. Weasley's voice, that while muffled, was still quite loud.

"You did manage to escape," said Bill dryly. He was sitting in a chair by the door. Ginny was stretched out on a few chairs beside him, with her head in his lap, sound asleep.

"Just barely," said Harry. "Did you hear any of that?"

Bill nodded. "Yeah...Dad didn't close the door all the way."

A horrible thought struck Hermione. "Ginny didn't hear any of that, did she?" The last thing Ginny needed was to feel guilty that her mum spent so much time with her and ended up neglecting Ron in the process....

"No, she didn't," said Bill, and Hermione breathed a sigh of relief. "She had dozed off when they went in to see what you two were arguing about, and when Mum started talking about Ron and Ginny as babies, I made sure she was sound asleep." He nodded at his wand, which was sticking out of his pocket. "Peaceful Sleep Charm - she'll be out for a while. She needed to get some rest anyway."

Hermione noticed that Bill and Ginny were the only ones in the corridor. "Where are the others?" she asked.

"Percy's looking for a Floo fireplace to talk to Charlie, and Fred and George went to make arrangements for people to cover the store for a few days," Bill answered, shifting slightly in his seat, trying to get more comfortable without disturbing Ginny. "They'll be back later."

"We'll stay with you," said Hermione, at the same time that Harry said, "We're on our way back to school."

"But we should stay - "

"You're supposed to take it easy - "

Their words got tangled up again.

Harry tugged at her sleeve and pulled her a little bit away from Bill. "We really should go back to school, at least for a little while....I think they need some 'family time'. You saw how she was in there just now." He was whispering, but his voice was firm and his jaw set.

"But - "

"I want to stay here with Ron as much as you do, but we shouldn't, not right now. We can come back later."

"What if he wakes up while we're gone?" Hermione said.

"You know they'll let us know as soon as anything happens," he answered. "Come on, Hermione...I don't want to argue with you. Okay?"

He was right, of course; Ron's accident had obviously brought some Weasley family tensions to a head, and they needed to be able to sort them out in private, but still....She thought about the times when she or Harry had been laid up in the hospital wing, and how Ron had always been there for them. It just didn't seem right to leave him here alone.

"He's not alone, Hermione - he's got his family here," said Harry.

He was doing it again - knowing what she was thinking without her having to say it. It was unnerving.

"How do you do that?" she asked, taking the Portkey out of her pocket. "Knowing what I'm thinking?"

He shrugged slightly and gave her a small smile. "Don't know. I guess we've been friends for too long."

*****

They ended up in a small alcove off the main entrance of Hogwarts; apparently set up especially for Portkey transportation. It wouldn't do to Portkey into the middle of a crowd of students, Hermione supposed. They made their way back to Gryffindor Tower in silence.

Hermione's mind was a jumble of thoughts, each of them wrestling and fighting for her attention. She couldn't imagine how Ron would react if he couldn't walk again, if he couldn't fly again. He would be devastated. Yes, it was too soon to tell. Mr. Weasley, Harry, Percy...they'd all told her that.

But what if?

If she'd just been able to do more...but now she couldn't do anything. Professor Dumbledore had forbidden her to use her healing abilities without learning more about them, and thanks to Harry, now Ron's parents knew it. Even if they didn't...she had promised Dumbledore, and, well, you didn't break a promise to Dumbledore. It just wasn't done. So, clearly, she had to learn more about her abilities.

" - something to eat?"

"What?" Hermione snapped out of her thoughts and realized they were at the portrait hole. Did Harry just ask her about food? "Er, no, Harry, I'm not hungry."

"But you didn't eat breakfast," he said, looking at her suspiciously. "Erkling," he said to the Fat Lady, and the portrait swung open.

Hermione tried to keep her face blank; she didn't want to hear another lecture from Harry about taking it easy, which was exactly what she would get if he knew what she was thinking right now.

"I'm tired, Harry...I think I'll go take a nap. I'll see you at dinner, okay?"

She brushed past him and headed to her dormitory before he could argue, ignoring his concerned look.

Crookshanks was sitting on Hermione's bed, in a warm square of sunlight from the window, washing himself industriously. Hermione curled up beside him and scratched his head. He greeted her with a croaky miaow and returned to his grooming, and Hermione returned to her thoughts.

Learn more about her abilities? Exactly how was she supposed to do that?

Master Raymond had said she had a rare gift - he'd only seen two other people besides himself with the same ability. If she knew no one else that had the ability, then who would be able to teach her about it? Those other two people couldn't be anywhere nearby, or Dumbledore would have brought them here instead of Raymond.

She remembered Master Raymond saying that he wouldn't be able to make the trip again. Trip from where? Or from when? He had said something about needing to return to his own time...what was that all about? If he was a time traveller, then how did he get here? Did he use a Time-Turner? Doubtful. They were only useful in increments of less than forty-eight hours; anything longer than that tended to be inaccurate and unpredictable. Professor McGonagall had told her so at the start of third year, when she'd given her one to take extra classes. They could only be used to affect the recent past.

It was plain that somehow he was a time traveller, but did he come from the past, or from the future? He looked like a wizard from her time, but then again, he didn't; his robes had been oddly cut and his accent slightly off. If he'd come from the future, he would have known about Harry and Voldemort and everything; they wouldn't have needed to tell him...unless he came from so far in the future that Voldemort had become insignificant. That didn't seem possible, so he must have come from the past.

Apparently, she was going to have to find Master Raymond somehow. But not knowing where or when he came from, or how to get to him, or anything else, how in the world was she going to do that? Not to mention everything else she had to do, with the Auror Trials, N.E.W.T.s....

It seemed hopeless.

*****

They visited Ron almost every day for the next week. There was no change in his condition, either for better or worse. The mediwizards assured them that Ron was in no immediate danger, that he just needed time to heal, and that he would eventually wake and they would know more then.

Ginny returned to Hogwarts on Tuesday, and accompanied Harry and Hermione when they visited; Percy and Mr. Weasley went back to work at the Ministry, returning to St. Mungo's in the evenings; Fred and George staggered shifts at the joke shop, with help from Angelina, so that one of them could be at the hospital most of the time. Charlie was not able to get away from Romania. His rare Romanian Longhorn eggs had hatched, but were not doing well - two of them had died before hatching, and two others were mysteriously ill.

Bill had managed to get a temporary leave of absence from Gringotts, however, so he was able to stay at the hospital with Mrs. Weasley. This was fortunate, as his mother seemed to be taking it the hardest of all the Weasleys. In light of her revelations about Ron and Ginny as babies, Hermione supposed she was feeling extremely guilty. Mrs. Weasley rarely left Ron's room, and then only when Mr. Weasley or Bill made her go and get something to eat or take a nap. Even then they had to bodily drag her out, and usually Bill would have to use a Peaceful Sleep Charm on her before she would rest.

Once, the Gryffindor Quidditch team visited Ron as a group. Hermione had been there at the time, and at first had wanted to hex Natalie McDonald so badly she'd need her own room at St. Mungo's, but one look at the girl's face wiped that feeling away. Natalie looked pale and scared when she saw Ron; plainly, the girl did care about him very much.

It didn't make Hermione like her any more, though.

She felt childish for feeling that way, when there were more important things at stake, but that's how she felt. She was too tired to try to hide it.

Mr. Weasley had been there when the Quidditch team visited, and walked in on the middle of a discussion about how Ron's accident had happened in the first place. "If anyone's to blame, it's young Mr. Malfoy," he said.

"Malfoy?" exclaimed Harry. "What's he got to do with this?"

Mr. Weasley's face clouded. "You likely wouldn't have noticed what happened, Harry, from where you were. I talked to Dumbledore this morning. He'd spoken to Madam Hooch, and some of the players and people in the crowd. Apparently Malfoy told that Beater to hit Ron on purpose."

"On purpose?" said Harry. "Why would he do that?"

"The Slytherin Beater, Graham Pritchard, came to Dumbledore after the match," Mr. Weasley explained. "He said Malfoy told the Beaters to aim for Ron on his signal. The way the match was going, Malfoy knew he wouldn't be able to get past Harry to get the Snitch, you see, and he knew Harry would leave off the Snitch to try to help Ron."

"Bastard," Harry spat, and the team members murmured in agreement.

Hermione felt sick and angry. That twitchy little ferret, she thought, just wait till I get my hands on him...of course he couldn't beat Harry without playing dirty, the slimeball....

Mr. Weasley continued. "Pritchard said he didn't expect Ron to be injured so badly. He told Dumbledore he was aiming for his arm - likely story, that - but he did come forward without Dumbledore asking first, and he apologized."

"Then Slytherin should have lost, right?" asked Hermione. "I mean, that's illegal, isn't it?" It had been a long time since she'd read Quidditch Through the Ages, but surely that couldn't be allowed....

Harry scowled. "The Keeper isn't supposed to be attacked unless the Quaffle's in the scoring area, but the only penalty would have been a foul shot, and it wouldn't have changed the outcome of the game anyway."

"Well, the Quidditch Cup's theirs then," said Dennis Creevey flatly. "There's no question they'll beat Hufflepuff after the holiday."

The team left soon after that in a dejected huddle.

"Did I ever tell you about when I found the Mirror of Erised for the first time?" asked Harry softly, as they sat alone at Ron's side some time later.

"You told me you saw your family," she answered.

"Well, when I found the Mirror, I ran to tell Ron about it - I wanted him to see my family, you know. He came down with me later, and stood in front of it. Want to guess what his heart's deepest desire was?"

"What?" Hermione asked, although she had a pretty good idea.

"Himself, as Head Boy and Quidditch Captain, holding the Quidditch Cup," Harry said bitterly. "He didn't get to be Head Boy, or Quidditch Captain, and now he's not getting the Quidditch Cup, either. He couldn't get what he saw in that Mirror any more than I could."