And They Live Happily Ever After...?

‘…And they live happily ever after. The end,’ Lily read aloud from her big fairy-tale cook her father got her for Christmas. ‘I wish I’ll get a good husband – or better, prince – like Cinderella.’ Someone laughed loudly behind her. Lily spun around angrily.

‘I’d like to see someone marry you! You’re such a tomboy, and I don’t think anyone would even like you to begin with! Hahahahahaha!’ the boy said, laughing even louder. Lily gritted her teeth.

‘Shut up, James! Who gave you rights to eavesdrop me?’ Lily yelled savagely.

James Potter laughed even louder and began choking after a while on his orange juice. After resuming himself, the boy threw his head and began laughing again.

‘Haha! You! Haha! A wife! Hahaha!!!’ James cried, pointing a finger at Lily.

Lily Evans felt her tiny eight-year-old head boiling in frustration and anger. She stood up at once on the maroon sofa and jumped off it, skillfully landing like a cat. In less than a minute, she began chasing James, her big fairytale book in hand.

‘Come back here, James!!! I’m going to kill you!!! I’ll tear you from your skin, and I’ll pull your muscles from your bones, and I’ll crush your bones to death!!!!’ she cried shrilly.

‘I am so, so scared!’ James mocked, making a face at her. Lily swung the heavy book around to hit his head. She missed.

‘Lily! How many times must I tell you, don’t act so rashly!’ Lily’s mother cried sharply. Lily froze rigidly in a mid-swing. James would’ve died laughing at the look on her face now. It was priceless!

‘He called me a tomboy!’ the little girl wailed. Lisa Evans sighed.

‘Then prove to him that you’re not,’ she said flatly, leaving for the kitchens. ‘You may hurt his feelings, Lily. After all, his parents just died.’

‘Yeah, I’m a poor ickle orphan, tomboy,’ James said mockingly to Lily.

‘Grr… DIE, JAMES POTTER!!!’ Lily yelled, her green eyes flashing savagely as she swung her book again. James pulled a face at her.

‘Miss me, miss me!’ he sang.

Lily dropped the book, realizing that she’s never winning with that heavy thing as a burden. She ran towards James (he gasped, thinking that she was going to attack him) and pointed an accusing finger at him. James nearly laughed with relief.

‘Moron!’ she yelled.

‘Tomboy!’

‘Asinine!’

‘Bovine!’

‘Ferine!’

‘Tigrine!’

At this point, both were already pulling each other’s hair.

‘CHILDREN!’ Lisa cried. ‘Do stop arguing! You are distracting me from my work!

‘Exactly,’ James said calmly with smooth sarcasm. ‘Stop distracting your mother, tomboy, or she’ll burn right through the edge. Aren’t you going to love me for this wonderful piece of advice?’

‘I never ever will love you!’ Lily gritted savagely. With that, she turned her head, nose in air, and stormed up the stairs and into her bedroom.

~ * * ~

‘Well, whaddyou know! She’s a witch, too!’ James said brightly when Lily came down the stairs sleepily, a letter in green ink in hand.

The eleven-year-old girl had bright red hair, trimmed neatly to her chin. They hung numbly, making her look almost innocent with her big green eyes that bore curiously into almost everything and looked as if they can read your soul and everything you think. Her leveled fringe was pinned neatly to the side to create a clearer picture of her sweet, innocent-looking face.

However, one thing that must be known is to NOT judge a book by its cover. Lily isn’t as sweet as she looked.

‘Shut up, James,’ Lily scowled. ‘Petunia, do me a favour: eat up James’s scramble eggs, and don’t leave him anything.’

Without a word, seven-year-old Petunia took James’s plate and ate it hungrily. James frowned as he see the blonde girl wallow into his breakfast disgustingly.

‘Oh. Wow. Great appetite, horsie,’ he said sarcastically.

‘James, don’t be rude,’ Lisa said without looking up from her paper.

‘Where’s dad?’ Lily asked, looking for her father who had just returned from his trip yesterday.

‘Left early for a plane to Alaska.’

‘Lovely. I hope he remembers us,’ Lily muttered resentfully, sitting down. Lily’s father was always traveling around. He was a business man, and a very successful one, at that. He was never around much.

‘Er, egg?’ James offered, hoping that Lily would forget about Billy Evans. After all, Lily’s disappointed face isn’t as sweet as it was when she was angry. He like seeing the shades transfiguring: dark orange, blue, red. Now that is certainly interesting, because Lily’s lips will thin out and her head will swell. Like a bullfrog.

‘No, I want bread,’ Lily said, reading for the bread and butter.

‘You’re a witch, huh?’ James said in attempt to strike a conversation around the quiet table. ‘That letter. I received one myself this morning.’

‘Oh, good for you, then.’

‘Are you going to Hogwarts, then? Can I go?’ James said, turning to Lisa.

‘Anything you wish,’ Lisa replied. ‘How’s it like to be a wizard, James?’

‘Probably boring,’ Petunia piped.

‘Probably not, because you don’t seem to be one,’ James muttered under his breath.

‘Probably not, Petunia. I can turn you into a toad,’ Lily said to her sister. ‘And then I’ll stomp at you, so that you die under my feet, crushed flat like a pancake. Hah!’ The redhead grinned in satisfaction at herself. She hated Petunia more than she hated James.

‘Yeah! Or maybe we might turn your dolly into that closet monster you’ve been telling us about,’ James added evilly. ‘Ngarrrh!!!!’ Needless to say, he too, hated Petunia. Lily’s grin broaden.

Petunia’s blue eyes began watering.

‘Just kidding only,’ Lily said hastily, catching her mother’s eye. ‘We won’t do that. Um. Er. Yeah, we might not do that.’

Petunia sent a smirk over. ‘Mummy, is Lily a good witch or a bad one? Is James?’

‘I’m a good one,’ Lily said at once.

‘So’m I!’ James added. Hurriedly. Petunia stared at them, as if sizing them up.

‘I think you two are bad! Bad to the core! And bad witches should be burned! I read it in my book!’

‘Now Tunia, Lily and James are nice, aren’t they? They are so sweet to you,’ Lisa said. The two snorted into their chocolate milk, giggling secretly at each other.

‘Very,’ Lily choked, controlling a laughter.

‘She’s lying, mummy! She wants to turn me into a toad!’ Petunia cried. ‘We should burn them!’

‘Petunia darling! She’s your sister! And James is so, so sweet to you!’ Lisa said in surprise, horrified at her younger offspring.

Lily and James exchanged horrified glances. James’s face read, "Me? Sweet???" and Lily’s face read, "You? Sweet???"

‘Witches are evil! We should kill them! Burn—’

‘Yeah. By the time you gather your firewood (which I’m sure there’s none in this place), I’ll be eating roasted chicken of which I would transfigure from darling Petunia,’ James said loudly. ‘What d’you say, Lily?’

‘Well… I say that you should invite me along.’

‘Ah, um, yeah,’ James said doubtfully.

‘I say that I’ll cook you two in my oven!’ Lisa replied. ‘Come, Petunia, let’s buy you your new bag. Honestly, I haven’t got an idea how yours went into tatters just like that…’ Petunia bounced to the door happily, pulling a face at the two eleven-year-olds before leaving with a laugh.

‘Why did she get a new bag?’ Lily complained after the car drove out of the driveway. ‘I mean, she just had a new one!’

‘Because she ate her?’ James suggested.

‘You’re right. She probably chewed it like horse hay, you know. I didn’t expect her, looking like a horse face and having a rather horse-like teeth, to have horse appetite as well! I mean, LOOK! She’s talking!’

‘Well, the next thing you know, she’ll be neighing!’

‘Right. And what, turn all brown and go on all fours?’

‘If we transfigure her, that is.’

Silence. Neither had any idea of what to talk or do. Bored, James stood up and stretched.

‘C’mon, tomboy, I’ll race you to Sirius’s house,’ James said, running off, his shoes in his hand and his legs bare. Lily jumped up at once.

‘I’M NOT A TOMBOY!’ she screeched. ‘And you’re cheating!!! Hey, wait for me!’ With that, she too slammed the door, grabbed her shoes and ran down the street, bare-footed.

~ * * ~

BANG! James threw the white door open noisily and ran in, shoes in hand. Lily appeared soon after, panting heavily. Sirius Black, who was enjoying himself with the art of flower arranging (he stuffed the weed and foxgloves in a very… um, artful manner that only no one would appreciate) on the table jumped up in surprise before staring his friends in surprise.

‘What was that, a hurricane? Or was it you, Sirius, doing some prank without me?’ Spica Black called, running into the living room excitedly. Sirius rubbed his eyes.

‘Spice, tell me I’m dreaming. James and Lily are wearing their shoes on their hands. James has bird mess on his hair and Lily’s hair looked like some bird nest. I’m dreaming, right?’ Sirius said, gaping at the two, who were now gasping for oxygen.

‘Erm, no?’ his sister suggested doubtfully. ‘I mean, I may be dreaming, too.’

‘Huff – I – pant – win – huff – you –huff – gasp – ha – pant – ha – huff – ha,’ James gasped.

‘You – gasp – huff – cheat – pant,’ Lily shot in a slow-motion manner. ‘I – huff – water – pant – want.’

‘I water want?’ Sirius repeated.

‘Water want I?’ Spica said. ‘Never make much sense, does it?’

‘Want I water? Nah.’ Lily shook her head.

‘Perhaps "I want water"?’ Spica tried. Lily and James nodded vigorously at that. Sirius ran to the kitchen and returned in 10 seconds with two glasses of water, supposedly soda since it’s brimming with bubbles. Their friends took a swig of it.

‘UGH!!! What water is this???’ James cried, coughing the chlorine-tasting liquid. Sirius grinned.

‘Something by the name of soap water.’ Lily sprayed the liquid at Spica’s face.

‘Sorry. What did you say? You gave us SOAP WATER?!’ Lily yelled.

‘Technically, yes. The posters stuck on walls these days call "Save Water!" and, coincidentally, there was a bowl of soap water mum just used. How does it taste like? Nice?’ Spica asked innocently.

‘Spice – no, Spica Black – I understand that you’re eleven, like us, and is much, much stupider than any of us here (I mean, besides your brother), but how would you enjoy drinking alkaline?’ James asked. The twins thought for a while.

‘It might be nice,’ Sirius said, after the while.

‘Possibly tasty,’ Spica added. ‘You shouldn’t have wasted it on them, Sirius, but what’s done is done…’ She sighed sadly.

Lily stared at her glass distastefully. 'Normally, I wouldn't do this, but under certain circumstances - eg. THIS - I will. You can have it back. I appreciate the, uh, mouth-cleaning service you offered, all the same.'

'You can take this, too,' James said, pushing his glass into Sirius's hand.

The twins stare at each other. In a second, before Lily could even open her mouth, they gulped the soap water down.

Lily and James blinked worriedly at them.

'Okay...' Spica said.

'A little too soapy,' Sirius commented, draining the very last bubbles.

'Lovely, all the same,' Spica said cheerfully.

'It's a huge mistake,' James groaned to Lily. 'I feel terribly sick!'

'Well, if we don't give it to them, we'll be drinking it,' Lily said reasonably. James nodded in agreement. 'Better them than us, see?'

'Hey, d'you get a letter this morning, James?' Sirius asked, 'Or is Jimmy a squib?' James punched Sirius playfully.

'Me? A squib? You've got to be kidding! Yeah, I got my letter and - surprise, surprise! So did Lily!' he grinned. 'Never dreamed that that tomboy is a witch, na-uh!' Lily clenched her fingers. 'Potter, you are as close as this' - she showed the distance between them - 'to get a pounding.'

'Yes, and that is very far, because I'm here and you're there,' James said easily.

'Oh, I can run, you know,' Lily said, tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear. 'After all, if I fail to punch you, I should at least be able to grab your glasses.'

'Aren't you ever bored of fighting?' Spica asked.

'No,' they replied in unison.

'We're not fighting anymore,' Lily explained, choking laughter.

'No, we're disagreeing! Besides, we're friends!' James said brightly. He paused. 'Well, at most times. But what's fun in the gloomy house then, without our constant squabbles over who gets the video game? We're just... Spicing life up!'

'Driving Mrs.Evans up the wall is pretty cruel,' Sirius said notedly.

'My mum hasn't clawed the walls YET. Once she did, we'll stop.'

'Speaking of claws, we're going to buy a new owl!' Spica said excitedly.

'Yep! A brown one, perhaps. Let's call it "Se-tew-pid" (Stupid),' Sirius grinned.

'Oh, so when I want to refer to the three of you, I'll say Triple S?' Lily said.

'For Stupid, Saneless and Sick,' James sniggered. 'Sirius is Stupid, Spica is Saneless, and your new owl can be Sick! Delirious!' Lily and James both rolled over with laughter at their joke, but the Black twins glared.

'It is so witty I forgot to laugh,' Sirius said bad-naturedly.

'Really? Maybe your funny bone broke,' Lily grinned, picking herself up.

'Poor, poor Sirius!' James cooed. Spica gagged.

'Him? Pitiful? UGH!' the girl cried. Sirius slapped her shoulder in reply.

'I'm older than you by three minutes! You can't insult the big bro!' he said in a I-am-high-and-mightier-than-you voice.

'Hmph! Whatever!'

~ * * ~

'Now, be good, don't annoy anyone and study hard, okay?' Lisa said to Lily and James. The usual motherly nag. The two children gave her a saintly smile.

'Mummy, you forgot the don't argue part,' Petunia said. They (Lily and James, of course) frowned at her, but decided to deal with her later. After all, there's a good reason why wizard tricks are good: so that they can torture insolent-witches-must-be-burnt muggles like Petunia with.

'Yes, don't argue, dearies,' Lisa said. 'I'll get Sirius and Spica to watch over you two.'

'Yes, yes, mum, whatever, say anything you like, mum, but we're going to be drasticly late if you don't stop it,' Lily said impatiently but not too rudely. 'It's nearly eleven.'

'Ah, yes. So I leave you here, okay? Bye! Study hard!'

'Sour grape Petunia,' Lily muttered when Lisa drove off and Petunia pulled a face at the windscreen. 'She's making like a living hell ever since that owl nearly bowled her over her chair!'

'That's Petunia,' James replied shortly. 'And as for the station...'

'NYAH!' Sirius yelled suddenly. Lily and James raised their voices to shrill screams at the very sight of their friend. Not because they were frightened - not THEY! - as they ahd seen worse back home. No, Sirius had only half of his body!

'G-g-g-GHOST!!!!' was the only word they can stutter. Sirius cackled madly.

'No, morons. You'll be late if you don't hurry,' he replied good naturedly. 'Come on in!'

'Good statement,' James stammered, 'but how?'

'Walk!' Spica's voice called merrily. 'Hurry up! On one... two... three!!!'

Without warning and in utter blindness of fright for Lily and James, two pairs of arms reached from the seemingly solid wall, blutched the trolleys and pulled them in. James and Lily followed rather jerkily, their palms still gripping the handles.

Almost magically, a whole new world was transformed before them. Lily stared in amazement at the giant scarlet train, chugging and puffing smoke. What attracted her attention was the steam.

'Look! Steam engine!' Lily cried excitedly.

'If you stand any longer, the train'll chug off without you,' Spica said. 'Come on, Lily, into the compartment!' The raven girl happily pushed Lily into her (Spica's) compartment and dumped the luggage after her. Owly the Owl's cage bonked onto Lily's head none too lightly.

After stars and birds, cuckoo calls and angel wings, Lily shook back to reality.

'What's your explanation, huh? Drag my trolley, wrap me up in tissue, and--mphf? MPHFE!!!!!!' James was muffled with a red apple Sirius shoved to keep him quiet. He (James) was also bandaged to resemble a poorly wrapped mummy from the ancient Egyptian tombs.

'Haha! You're dead!' Lily mocked, recovering from the whack on the head. 'Hahaha! A mummy! Jimmy the mummy!'

'Mmphf!' James glares, struggling to move. A bad wrapper as Sirius is, he had wrapped his friend from neck down so that James could hardly move. Lily was enjoying herself by playing "tumber" in which James is the "Tumber". The game was simply: just push the person until s/he drops. In James's condition, it was easy.

James was not pleased at all.

~ * * ~

'Tomboy? In Gryffindor?' James said in amazement. 'I was expecting Hufflepuff. In which case is she brave?'

'In bashing you?' Sirius suggested. 'And, besides, in which case is she loyal? Hah!'

'She's loyal to herself in killing me. Oh wait, that's not the right usage of word,' James said. 'Oh well, at least she's not smart.'

'Neither are you,' Sirius yawned. 'You're as stupid as stupid can be, which is saying enough to the brilliance of the mind.' James snorted. Sirius is the opposite to the adjective sane. He had no rights to criticise how stupid he, James Potter, is i his current - and other - state of mind.

James told Sirius of his thoughts. Sirius replied with not words but a big, fluffy pillow in his face.

'Would you two please SHUT UP?!' Tippy Gleste yelled.

The two said ones turned to each other and began signalling hand signals to each other.

James's read: Are we talking?

Sirius: We barely opened our mouth!

James: So who's he asking to shut up?

Sirius: I don't know. Himself?

Tippy ignored their hand signals. Silence was all he want from the two of them, nothing more. More over, he had not a clue of what they were signalling to each other.

~ * * ~

'I got Owly first! I send first!' Lily was heard screeching.

'I own three-quarteds of Owly! I ought to send first!' James retorted.

'I promised to send mum a letter and Petunia a Howler!'

'I'm trying to subscribe to Daily Prophet! Let go of Owly, Lily!'

'Shan't! You do it!'

'Shan't!'

The two of them glared at each other ferociously, their owl, Owly, clung in bewilderment between them, its brown feather ruffled messily. The Gryffindors at the table were staring at them in shock.

'Owly came to ME, you moron!' Lily yelled.

'Why would Owly like a stupid tomboy like YOU?' James countered.

'A better reason for him to avoid some lunatic derangged psycho like you!'

'What?! You stupid, fat monster!'

'What?! You free-loader pig of--mmpf!' Lily was muffled by Sirius.

'Ssh! Professor McGonagall's looking this way!' Spica whispered.

'Pfoffsher foo?' Lily coughed.

'McGonagall! The tiger that brought us to--'

'Oh, her,' James said. 'Well, I'll take Owly, then!' Lily bit Sirius's hand so that he'll pull it from her mouth in pain. It worked.

'No you won't! You're doing some stupid subscription! I'm sending family letter! In matter of importance, mine comes first!'

'It's important to keep up-to-date! Better mine than yours!'

'Why, you ungrateful wimp...!'

'You insulting tomboy...!'

The dagger-glaring competition began again as they bare their teeth at each other like dogs. They even made the growling voice, and had half the Gryffindors thinking that they'll start woof-woofing and aruuu-ing in two shakes of a lamb's tail. And Professor McGonagall was already marching towards them.

'What are you two doing?' McGonagall yelled. Lily and James ignored her. They began hissing at each other. The Gryffindors grinned in amusement. They can expect some baa-ings soon, perhaps?

Professor McGonagall, however, furious at being ignored, yelled even more loudly, 'MISS EVANS AND MISTER POTTER, KINDLY RESUME BREAKFASTING OR JUST GET OUT!'

They ignored her again.

'Um, professor,' Spica began, 'I don't think it'll be much use. Once they start, there's no stopping to it until they stop it themselves.'

'DETENTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' Sirius looked horrified at the sudden outburst. A sixth year caught his surprised features.

'It's mainly all she ever says when she's at a fury anger,' the boy explained.

'YOU! HAROLD GISH! DETENTION!' McGonagall screeched.

'See, I told you so,' Harold said carelessly.

'Owly is MINE!' Lily shrieked.

'No, he's MINE!' James yelled.

'My business is more important!'

'Hah! Mine is a million times more important!'

'Mine is infinite!'

'Mine is infinite times infinite!'

'Mine is infinite times a zillion times infinite!'

'I told you they never stop,' Sirius shrugged. 'Spica, get Owl and let's dye it purple!'

Spica grabbed the owl and pulled out her wand. 'Don't you think that pink looks nicer? More stylish, perhaps?'

'No, purplish blue is Just Fine,' Sirius said confidently. Spica shook her head.

'I insist on pink!'

'Purple!'

'Pink!'

And so another detention was issued and a new battle over Owly the Popularly Wanted Owl began. Professor McGonagall nearly pulled all her hair up, if the Headboy hadn't already brought poor Owly away to the Owlery.