Jumping My Bones

Jumping My Bones

Mini-prologue:

You can't honestly believe that I wasn't surprised. I was, I really was. Especially when she jumped me. Honestly, she jumped me. But I'm glad she did...really glad.

Chapter One: Um, breasts?

It was an unnaturally sunny day and I had Quidditch practice in twenty minutes. I didn't want to go; I hated going when it was too sunny because then we got tired really fast. I was considering calling it off when Hermione sat across from me. I looked at her...there was something about her, something different.

I shook it off, wondering whether the team would appreciate me calling off practice or not.

'Harry,' Hermione said, snapping me out of my daydream of being massaged by a hot group of birds...strangely enough they mostly looked like He--

'Hmm?' I asked, looking up at her. She had this curious look on her face. She licked her lips and muttered something that sounded oddly like, 'You look good enough to eat.'

'What?' I asked, dropping my fork with a piece of pumpkin pie still on.

'What?' she asked, looking at me like I was bonkers.

'You said something,' I replied.

'No I didn't,' she said, starting to pick up her books.

'Yes you did! You said, "Harry" and I said, "Hmm?" and you muttered that I looked delicious enough to eat,' I said, a bit hysterically. I knew she had said something. I wasn't going mad, was I?

'Harry,' she said, going around the table and she stopped in front of me. She touched my forehead and put my head between her breast. Why was her shirt so low cut and--?

Wait one bloody minute! My face was between Hermione Granger's breasts. My face was between Hermione Granger's breasts. My face was between her breasts!! Oh, Merlin.

'Harry, call off practice. You're obviously not feeling too well,' she was saying, slowly running her fingers through my hair.

But I wasn't listening to anything she was saying, I just nodded. No, I was too busy marveling at how good she smelled and how soft her breasts felt against my cheek and the warmth radiating from her and--Snape's knickers!--was that a lacy black bra?

'Harry, did you listen to what I said?'

'Sure,' I said, moving my lips on the top of her left breast. I felt her take a sharp breath and let it out slowly, which, in my opinion, was one of the best sights in the world.

'So, you think that I should shag Snape tonight?' she asked, a hint of playfulness in her voice.

'Sure...' I replied, giving into my desire and touching her left breast with the tip of my tongue. But then, slowly, the words sunk into my brain and I looked up at her face.

'What?' I exclaimed, causing everyone in the Great Hall eating lunch to look at us.

'I was just making sure you were listening to me,' she said innocently. Then she reached down to tie her shoe lace giving me a great view. She looked at me and smiled, before grabbing her books and an apple. 'I'll be under the tree reading. Call me if you or Ron need something. Where is Ron anyway?'

I shrugged, 'With Luna maybe?'

'Okay. I'll talk to later?' she asked, kissing me on the cheek and walking away.

I sat in a daze, watching her walk away, her hips swaying after every step. Since when did my best friend become so gorgeous? Hmm, skip practice and be unmercifully teased by Hermione (something we both enjoy) or go to practice, where I would train and be tired quickly (something that neither of us enjoy)?

'Hermione, wait! I'm coming with you!'

**********

We were sitting under a shady tree, Hermione reading and me watching her read. It was quite a sight, seeing her expressions change with every sentence she read--admittedly it was kind of hard to see her actual face seeing as my back was against the trunk and her back was against my chest but you know what I mean. Anyway, what was even more tantalizing--more so than her biting her lip-- was the amazing view. She was now resting her head on my shoulders so this gave me an amazing view down her shirt (not that I was staring of course, I was looking at the book) and indeed, it was Perfect. I continued looking down when y brain faintly registered that she was calling me.

'Harry,' she was saying. I looked up, blinking.

'Hmm?'

'Do you mind not staring at my breast?'

'Um, breast? What?'

'Yes, breasts. Stop staring at them, it's quite uncomfortable.'

'Oh, sure...'

'You're still staring!'

'I am? Sorry, I'll stop now.'

'Still staring.'

'Well, I can't help it! I just want to-'

'...'

'Oh, God, I'm sorry!'

'Please take your hands off of my breasts,' she said.

'Um, breasts? What?'

A sigh. 'Yes, the things that you are currently holding.'

I looked down and sure enough, there they were. Oops. How did they get there? 'How did they get there?' I asked.

'You put you're hands on them,' she sighed. But it wasn't a "Merlin-I'm-lonely" type of sigh. No, more of a "When-is-he-going-to-open-his-eyes?" type of sigh. If I wasn't so thick, I probably would've figured this out. Alas, I am but a 17 year-old guy. And I was too busy marveling on how perfectly they fit in my hands...I tried to resist the urge to squeeze but it was too hard not to...I squeezed them. Oh, Merlin--

Suddenly, my brain shut down because I currently had a pair of soft, warm lips on mine. Oh, yes, this is what I've been waiting for. And rapidly everything was spiraling out of control and the next thing I knew she was on top of me, moaning my name and I growling her name and then it was all over. Over. All in all it took about 10 minutes. Just 10 bloody minutes. But a good 10 minutes. Very good. Now she's next to me, cuddling in my arms, our robes covering all the important bits.

'Harry,' she was saying.

'Hmm?' I mumbled, my eyes drooping.

'Harry. Harry. Harry? HARRY!'

Abruptly, I was jolted back to reality. 'I've been calling you for almost two minutes. Where did you go off to?'

I blinked and groaned, leaning my face into her hair. It wasn't real. Just a very graphic dream. A very graphic dream. I closed my eyes in her hair and groaned again. I dimly noticed that my hands remained in their original place.

'You still have them in your hands.'

'...'

**********