Lady Luck

Remus looked blankly at the t-shirt that was sitting on the bed. He then looked down at Sirius was sprawled on the rug, chin propped up in his hands. "You're crazy," he said flatly. "Nuttier than a fruit cake."

Sirius snorted. Remus glared at him and continued, "Look secret up in the dictionary. I'm quite sure that wearing a t-shirt flaunting the fact that you belong to a secret society isn't part of the definition." Sirius laughed and sat up properly.

"Go on," he wheedled. "Just try it on. You don't have to wear it out." Remus wrinkled his nose as he held it up against himself and studied his reflection in the mirror. He screwed up it up and threw it in the general direction of the open drawer.

"Nah. Doesn't suit me."

Sirius scowled at Remus's retreating back as he disappeared into the kitchen to put the kettle on. Sirius scrambled up to follow him and watched as he moved round the kitchen - a kitchen that Remus already knew better than Sirius despite not living there. As Remus placed the tea cosy over the pot, Sirius muttered sullenly, "You're fucking anal about making your tea, you know."

Remus flinched slightly as he heard the words and snapped back, "Just because I won't wear your stupid t-shirt. No-one else has to have a t-shirt because funnily enough they've got other things to worry on. Or have you forgotten that there's a war on?"

Tea forgotten, Sirius snarled back, "That's the point. It's trying to make people laugh. To forget that there is a war on." Half turning away, he said petulantly, "You always used to laugh at that sort of thing."

Remus sighed and patted his pockets looking for his tobacco. Hands slightly shaking, he rolled himself a cigarette, lit it and then took a drag before answering,"We're not at school any more. And the worst thing that can happen isn't being expelled. People are dying every day and nothing the Order is doing is helping."

Sirius looked at him coolly. "You've changed. You're not the person I thought you were." With that, he stalked out of the room and Remus heard the front door slam. Between drags on his cigarette, he said to the empty room "And you haven't changed at all. That's the problem."

*********

Some weeks the only times they knew the other had been in the house would be the plates in the sink or a copy of the paper left on the table. Sometimes strains of music would be heard drifting out of the windows. The neighbours knew who was home by what music was playing. Chilled out ska and bluesy Motown meant Sirius was home. The more rockabilly sounds of Cash and Holly meant Remus was there.

It had been nearly three weeks since they had seen each longer than to say hello before collapsing into bed or disappearing out. Sirius had spent every waking hour surrounded by dusty tomes researching defensive and offensive charms. More often than not, Lily was there to bounce ideas off. Lily stopped him from spiralling into despair when another idea didn't work.

Remus would disappear for days on end than return looking peaky and in need of a square meal. He never would say where he had been or whom he had been with. He always bristled slightly and pointed out that secret missions were meant to be just that. Secret. And he was used to keeping secrets.

*********

That early summer evening, Remus stood in the doorframe to the front room and watched Sirius scribble notes and then impatiently flip though a book. Would it have been like this in peacetime? Them passing like two ships in the night and never having someone lying in the bed next to you more than one night in ten. Would this thing have been easier? He shook his head. If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.

He coughed slightly to get Sirius's attention. Sirius looked up - grey eyes standing out in a pale face. Dark smears under his eyes showed that he hadn't been sleeping much either. "Stop. Just for tonight. We can have fish and chips and get very drunk up on the roof."

Sirius blinked and then smiled thinly, replying "Only if we can eat it out of the newspaper. Mum never used to let us eat fish and chips out of the paper."

Remus grinned. He walked into the room and ran his fingers down the side of Sirius's face. He'd missed this - this sense of easy touching and knowing for that moment everything was right in the world. He'd turned away to leave for the chippy when he felt a hand grasp his wrist. Remus turned back and was pulled down into a hard kiss. Remus pulled back, a little breathless. Sirius gave him a grin that lit up his face.

*********

They sat on the balcony listening to records, eating with their fingers. Remus leant across and kissed Sirius hard. The remnants of their food were pushed to one side as they touched each other. Hands ran underneath tops as they just re-familiarised themselves with each other.

Sirius accidentally knocked an empty bottle over and he broke away for a second. He studied Remus in the half-light of streetlights and the night sky and tilted his head. "Why now?" he asked. Remus looked away too tired to think of a suitable lie or half-truth. He shrugged.

"I remembered who I thought I was. It's part of who I am but I lost him for a while. I just found the confidence I lacked." Sirius snorted.

"You don't half talk some rubbish sometimes. But I like having you here. Lily doesn't quite have the same sense of humour as you."

Remus gave Sirius a playful shove and he laughed softly. "Too bloody right, she hasn't. Northerners are a different breed. Everyone knows that. You wouldn't have it any other way. Lady Luck made this happen. Let's not piss her off."