Ron's Tricky Truth

Ron and Ginny gasped in unison as they entered 93 Diagon Alley for the first time since their twin brothers left Hogwarts behind. With Harry and Hermione in tow, the pair had made a beeline for the infamous joke shop as soon as they arrived in London to purchase books and quills for the upcoming term.

"Welcome to Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes!" came a familiar voice from behind the counter.

"Long time, no see, friends!" came another.

Fred and George Weasley bounded toward the group with arms outstretched to shake hands. Harry, who had walked in just behind Ron, Ginny, and Hermione, was too shocked to say 'Hello,' owing to what he saw around him.

"Wow," Harry said, finally remembering how to speak. "You two've been busy, haven't you?"

Fred smiled from ear to ear. "Well, mate, time is money, I've always said."

"And we've had a lot of both," George chimed in.

And so they had. The group stood in awe at the colorfully decorated shop, the walls lined from ceiling to floor with devious devices and cunning contraptions, the shelves behind the counter full of seemingly safe sweets. Children and adults alike were browsing the aisles, their baskets overflowing with various items.

"No wonder Mum's been trying to keep us away," Ron said, astonished at his brothers' obviously successful business venture. "I reckon she thinks I'd leave Hogwarts to come and help you lot. I don't blame her. I just might, if you'd let me!"

"Slow down there, little bro," Fred laughed. "Nothing is as important as a good education! Though, we felt ours had nowhere else to go within the world of academia."
"We preferred a more hands-on learning experience, if you know what I mean," George added. "And of course, that horrid Umbridge woman was the last straw."

Ginny laughed. "I don't think she'll be back for another term as Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. I heard she's back at the Ministry, and keeping quiet about what happened to her in the Forbidden Forest," she finished, a devilish grin spread across her face.

"That's our Hermione!" George beamed. "No telling what would've happened if you hadn't thought of that stroke of genius! Say, want to have a brainstorming session with us about our next product line? We'll give you...ten percent of the profits, Hermione!

"Oh, George," Hermione sighed. "It looks like you've got plenty to be going on about without me." She scanned the aisles of the shop, a mixture of hesitation and curiosity in her face.

"Maybe you'll change your mind when you get closer to your NEWTs. Never a bad idea to have a backup plan," George said jokingly.

"Well, care to give one of our newest products a go, then?" Fred asked the group as they began to look around. "We've got plenty to choose from."

He swept his arm grandiosely toward an aisle marked 'Jokes Just Arrived' to his right. The group immediately recognized a row of Skiving Snackboxes, no doubt recently updated with some new innocent looking morsel that caused profuse sweating or uncontrollable verbal outbursts. Below those sat at least twenty stuffed animals in varying shades of pastel, each holding a different letter of the alphabet.

"What are these?" Ginny asked as she reached for a pink panda that held the letter 'T."

"Feigning Fauna," Fred answered. "Press the letter, you'll see."

Ginny pressed the "T" against the panda's chest and gasped, dropping the animal to the ground and stepping as far back as she could. The pink panda had transfigured into a large, hairy tarantula, complete with eight spindly legs and two shiny fangs.

"Don't worry! It's not real," George said, reaching to pick up the squirming spider. "But it would certainly shock that special someone who's been nagging you about playing too much Quidditch lately, don't you agree?"
The girls looked apprehensively at the other stuffed animals and giggled nervously.

"Ron, make sure you try the baby blue bunny," Fred winked. Still recovering from what he believed was a real spider -- and he hated spiders -- Ron's ears went red as he caught his brother's meaning. The stuffed rabbit was holding the letter 'H.'

Noticing a row of crystal clear vials filled with a bright green liquid nearby, Ron quickly went for one to change the subject. "What's this, then?" he asked, somewhat lamely. "Some kind of potion?"

"Very good, ickle Ronnikins," Fred answered. "Give it a swig."

"Good one, Fred. I'm not that thick, you know." Ron made to place the vial back on its shelf.

"It's nothing, really," Fred began again. "It makes your skin turn a bright shade of green, that's all. For parties. Oh, come on Ron, don't be such a whiny git." Harry thought he saw Fred wink at George.

"OK, then," Ron said defiantly. "I'll try it." Harry knew Ron hated for his older brothers to think him spineless. Ron threw his head back and drank half of the clear liquid. A grimace swept across his pale, freckled face as he struggled to swallow it.

"OUCH!" he yelled, the hot liquid burning his throat. "Are you two trying to kill me?"

"Oh pipe down," the twins said. "It'll only hurt for a second."

"He's not turning green," Ginny said, a hint of amusement in her voice. She guessed her twin brothers were playing yet another trick on Ron. It had always been something of a favorite pastime for them.

"No, I guess he's not," Fred said with a grin. "Hey, Ron, who's your favorite Quidditch player?"

Ron's eyes had glazed over and his body went very still. He opened his mouth to answer, and spoke as dreamily as Luna Lovegood.

"It used to be Victor Krum," he said matter-of-factly. "But now I like Finchly Fortescue."

"Thought so," Fred said mysteriously. Harry heard Hermione mutter something under her breath. He looked sideways at her, and noticed she had started to go pink.

"Come on, Fred," she said, anxiously. "If your mother knew what you were doing, she'd be livid."

"Nice try, Hermione," George said. "OK, Ron. What did you tell McGonagall you wanted to be during your career appointment last year?"

"I said I wanted to be an Auror," he answered.

"And why do you want to be an Auror?" George continued.

"Because it's coooool," he began. "And I'd get girrrrls."

Ginny stifled a laugh. Fred and George looked as if they were on the brink of something too exciting for words. Hermione groaned.

"Ron," Fred began again. "Who do you fancy?"

"I..." Ron stammered. "I..."

Fred glanced at George before he drained the last bit of the vial into Ron's gaping mouth.

"Oh, you two!" Hermione said. She took away the vial and tried to shake Ron awake.

"It won't do any good," Fred told her. "Just sit back and ready yourself for some first-class entertainment!"

Ron began his revelation again. "I fancy...Hermione," he said simply.

Harry saw Hermione's face turn a shade of pink he'd never seen before. He was trying so hard not to laugh.

"And why do you fancy Hermione?" George asked with a bit too much anticipation in his voice.

"Because she's a lovely know-it-all, and she reminds me of Mum."

The twins couldn't help themselves. They laughed so loud that customers in the back of the shop peered down each of the aisles to see what the fuss was about.

"That's enough!" Hermione said, shaking Ron until he came to his senses again. "I never!"

Harry and Ginny began laughing out loud as well, hardly helping the matter.

Ron looked around him dazedly, and realized everyone was laughing at him. "What the bloody hell?" he said. "What just happened?"

"Nothing, mate, nothing at all," Fred and George said. Harry and Ginny caught their breath and echoed the twins.

"You were just...singing. That's all," Harry said, hoping no one would tell Ron the truth of what had just happened. He knew it would be too much for him to handle.

"Yeah, Ron, about spiders," Ginny added. Her face had turned as red as her hair as she struggled to keep the truth in. It was too much.

"Well, ladies and gentlemen," Fred began, trying to hold a stitch in his side from too much laughing. "Feel free to browse, and make sure you read the labels before you give anything a try. Especially you, Ron."

At this, Hermione looked miserable and Ron confused. Harry and Ginny suddenly became interested in a collection of slugs across the room and walked away quickly. Turning to catch a glimpse of the reluctant pair behind him, Harry swore he saw Hermione smile at herself in spite of Ron's cluelessness. Maybe now that Ron had made the first move, however awkward and unintentional, the two would finally get somewhere.

"Honestly," Harry heard Hermione say to a still dazed Ron. "Your mother?"