Obsession

Chap. 7 - CALL IT LUST

"Malfoy, can I touch you?"

The world stopped. I swallowed hard, not knowing what to say. I should've said YES right then and there, but I didn't. Why? Because I was nervous. My wish would come true and that was scary. Did you ever have a moment when your dream was so close to coming true that you suddenly don't know what to do with it? I was feeling that way at that exact moment.

"Well, can I?" he repeated. "I thought you wanted it."

"I do," I finally spoke. "You can touch me. Actually, you didn't even have to ask."

He smiled shyly. "I know. I just asked it because you'll have to teach me."

I closed my eyes for a moment. I was in heaven. Maybe I was dreaming.

"Kiss me," I ordered.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because it sounded like an order and I won't take orders from you."

I counted to ten.

"Ok. Whatever."

I crossed my arms and stared at the ceiling. Then I felt Harry's lips pressing against mine softly. I stared at him amazed.

"It's so easy to tease you," he said with a playful smile. It was damn sexy. "That's why it's so funny to taunt you. You lose your temper so easily, Malfoy."

"That's not true. I've been very patient around you, Potter. Very."

He kissed me again and tentatively touched my chest. He had asked me to teach him, but as his right hand caressed me, I didn't think he needed a lesson. He was doing fine on his own. More than fine, actually. And... Merlin! He was trying to take off my shirt. I let him do it, but not before taking off his.

Our naked torsos touched and we both shivered.

"Kiss me," I said, pleading this time.

He did it, but not on my mouth. I bit my lower lip to prevent a moan, but it was useless. I moaned like I'd never moaned before.

"Fuck, Potter," my voice was distinctly husky. "You're such a liar! You've done this before! You're not as innocent as you want me to believe."

I was shocked. For real.

"No one is totally innocent at the age of seventeen, Malfoy!" he teased. "But I've honestly never done this to a guy before. And besides, I am a virgin. I have a little experience with girls, but I've never gone all the way," he confessed, this time with a serious expression. "I'm not sure of what I'm doing with you. I've read about it..."

Well, well, well. Harry Potter had been reading dirty magazines to learn how to please me. I grinned.

"What did you read?" I asked.

"Hermione gave me a book about sex and-"

"A dirty book?" I interrupted him.

"NO! Just a book that teaches you stuff about sex," he said shyly and his face flushed.

Let me see if I was getting it right. He was learning about sex. And now he was touching me. Could I be happier? I think not. He wanted me. YES! All the torture I had been submitted to would finally pay off.

"Did this book have pictures?" I said with a big grin.

"Well... yes. Just a few. But nothing pornographic, don't get too excited about it. They don't move like in a wizard's photo. It's a muggle book."

"Then it's no fun."

He shook his head. "You're a helpless case, Malfoy."

I grabbed him and kissed him fully on the lips. I felt his hand slipping down my stomach and... Oh, yes! He was... touching me... right where I wanted him to.

"Am I doing it right?" he asked and as I opened my dazzled eyes to face him, I noticed that his eyes were mirroring my own. He was enjoying it.

If I opened my mouth, nothing would've had come out of it, except perhaps a loud growl, an animal sound of satisfaction. So I didn't say anything. I only nodded. He was doing it right. Oh, Merlin! He was doing it more than just right. He was a master in that department.

My head fell back and when he saw my neck exposed, he bit it not very strongly but hard enough to leave a small hickey in place. Then I felt his tongue caressing the same place he had bitten as if soothing away the bite mark. That felt sooo good.

His hand accelerated in movement and he kissed me, his tongue imitating the sex act I wanted so badly to do with him. I couldn't breath. I... was... oh, yes... I would... soon... right there... oh... faster... kiss me, fuck me, touch me... yes, yes, yes... I... I... I came, shouting his name.

When everything was over, I looked straight into his eyes and saw them glowing with lust. I wish I had a camera with me so I could hold that moment in a picture forever.

We didn't speak for a long time. Words were unnecessary for the moment. It was enough for us to just lay there, arms entangled around each other, breathing peacefully, kissing each other every now and then. But after a while I felt like the most selfish man on earth. Harry hadn't gotten off. I was the only one who had reached completion.

"Harry?"

"What?" he stared at me.

"I'm going to touch you now," I said calmly.

I expected him to go back into the denial mode and forbid me to touch him, but he didn't. He only nodded as if knowing that this would happen next. I brushed his lips with mine and he closed his eyes. I kissed the rest of his body with a hunger that surprised me. I wanted to eat him alive. I bit his earlobe and blew on it 'cause I knew he liked that. His entire body shivered as I touched him more intimately.

I was frustrated by one thing though. He wasn't making any noise. Sure his breath was getting more accelerated by the moment, but besides that, he didn't make a sound. I didn't want that. I wanted Harry Potter to scream for me. I wanted him to be as noisy as possible. I wanted him to moan and plead for me. I wanted everything. But before I could do something about it, he came, and all I could hear was the quiet sound of his hard breath.

Ok. I wasn't noisy but I definitely wasn't that quiet. I felt like I had failed with him. Like I wasn't good enough for him. In spite of my silly thoughts, we weren't meant to be together and there was the proof.

I lay down in the bed feeling very depressed.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing."

"Don't lie to me. You look so... disappointed." And before I could reply it, he rambled, "I knew it. I so knew it! I shouldn't... but did I listen to reason? NO! I'm so... stupid! I..."

"Calm down, Harry!" I shouted. "Why are you like this? I didn't say anything!"

"It's written all over your face. You've got what you wanted from me and now you lost the interest, haven't you?" he asked, accusative. "I knew this would happen but..."

I opened my eyes wide. "You think I'm not interested in you anymore?"

"Well, yes. I mean, look at your face."

I kissed him quickly and smiled. "I didn't lose interest in you, Harry Potter. Besides, what we did today was just the beginning. I have plans for you. And I don't think I'll ever get enough of you. Not after what I felt when you put your hands on me."

"Then why? Why are you looking so displeased?"

"Because..."

Should I say it? Should I confess my pathetic fear? Should I say to him that I was afraid that what I had done to him hadn't compared to what he had done to me?

"Because what?" And all of a sudden he sat down on the bed and stared at me intently. "Wait. Did you say that you wouldn't ever get enough of me?"

I flushed from head to toe. "Maybe."

"What did that me-"

I cut him off before he could finish that sentence. I wasn't ready to confess my unconditional love for him. It would be too much to ask of me that night. So I tried to get back to our previous subject. It was just as much embarrassing as the one I was trying to avoid, but what the hell!

"Do you want to know why I felt so disappointed? Because you didn't make a sound while I was... you know... and I'm afraid that you didn't enjoy what I did to you. There! I said it!" I was kind of proud of myself.

He stared at me with his mouth hanging open like a fish. And then he burst out laughing. ARGH! He was laughing at my expense!

"This isn't funny!" I protested.

He kept laughing for a long time, until tears started to fall from his eyes. The bastard was finding my insecurity amusing. FUCK HIM! I was nobody's clown! So I kicked him out of the bed.

"Ouch!" he yelled when he fell with a big thump onto the floor. "What was that for?"

"You're making fun of me!"

"I can't help it." He went on laughing. "I mean, you're the famous Draco Malfoy! Everybody told me you're great in bed, and here you are, afraid that your performance didn't please me!" He laughed even harder after saying this.

It wasn't funny! But wait. People told him I was great in bed. That was good. It was even better to know that Harry Potter had been asking about me around the school. Hmm... That was interesting.

"So, you asked people about me," I sneered.

He stopped laughing immediately. "Can we change the subject?"

"No! I want to know. You've been asking about me! HA! Who's embarrassed now?" It was my turn to laugh.

He pulled himself slowly off the floor and I noticed that he his eyes were flickering but I couldn't stop laughing. Suddenly, I felt something soft hitting me. He had hit me with my pillow. I looked at him outraged and he smiled. I smiled back and we started a pillow fight that ended with a snog. While the plumes of the pillows floated above and around us, we kissed and cuddled. Finally he drew back and I sighed in protest.

"You were great," he whispered.

My heart stopped. Literally. "Then why did you..."

"I'm used to it. Trying to not making any noise, I mean. There are five people sleeping with me. I learned to be quiet while... you know."

"While what? Masturbating?"

His face reddened. I loved it when this happened. "Yes."

"You can make noises with me."

"I'll remember that."

That line was so promising. It meant that we would have more moments like this.

"What did you ask people about me, Potter?" I asked.

"I told you already."

"No, you didn't."

"Well, it's enough for you to know that I was very discreet about it. Besides, Hermione did almost all the talking."

That was kind of disappointing. He hadn't been the one to start the conversation. My deepest fear was his denial about his need for me. I feared that he wouldn't look at me at breakfast and that he would push me away throughout the day. I didn't think I could handle another rejection, especially after what had happened.

"Harry?"

"Hmm..."

He was almost sleeping, I could tell.

Don't ask what you want, Draco. Don't ask! He will hate you. He'll make fun of your weakness.

"You won't ignore me tomorrow, will you?" I asked. Dammit.

He opened his eyes and stared at me. I couldn't read them, which worried me. But that wasn't any news. I hadn't been able to read his eyes for a long time now. And there was nothing I could do but hope. Hope that he would stop lying to himself and to me about his real feelings.

"No, I won't," he answered.

"Good. Because if you ignore me, I'll break your face."

He smiled. "Sure."

"And I'll humiliate you. I'm serious!"

"No, you won't. If there's something I'm learning about you is that you're not so tough."

I opened my eyes wide. That was such a lie! I was tough.

"I'm tough! You have no idea how tough I am!"

"Whatever." He closed his eyes.

I hated that Harry Potter. That confident, irritating, son of a bitch who thought all he had to do was whistle and I would be crawling at his feet. It wasn't true. Was it? NO! Of course, not. I was Draco Malfoy. I had self-respect. It doesn't matter that I was calling him Harry and he was calling me Malfoy. That was irrelevant. He would call me Draco when he was ready. Right?

Ta-da! Welcome to The Denial Land!

"You worry too much, Malfoy." Harry said.

"Is it so hard for you to call me Draco?"

Another moment of oppressive silence. I was getting sick of those.

"I guess...," he started to speak and I could feel that he would say something I wouldn't like. "I'm not ready to call you that."

I sighed; asking myself how could one sentence ruin such a perfect night.

"But I promise I'll try," he said just before sleeping.

That small line lit up the hope in my heart.