Love Me, Love Me Not

Beta Readers: Jamie and Jade.

Chap. 06

Shock

What a day. His magical clock said 10 P.M. All Draco wanted right now was a shower, a warm meal and a cosy bed - although he wasn't so sure that the last two were remotely possible. He would be happy to crash on the couch if that were the case. He just wanted to get some sleep and forget about work for a few hours. If he and Hermione had to cover for the Department of Magical Law Enforcement one more time, he would scream.

First they had had a tough time on two raids. Then on their way back to the Ministry, they had had to drop by a pub where five drunken wizards in their mid twenties seemed to find it very amusing to show a bunch of stupefied muggles some neat magical tricks. It wasn't his or Hermione's job to take care of that particular situation, but "Hey Draco, since it's on your way, couldn't you and Hermione check it out for us?" was the Captain's favourite line.

While Draco had wanted to tell him to go bother some other fool and send someone from his own goddamn department to handle that pathetic situation, Hermione had been ahead of him with her usual "Sure! No problem! Right, Draco?"

No, it actually was a problem. But it was hard to tell Hermione that. She was the perfect employee. Draco was just a lazy bastard who thought that fulfilling his own duties was more than enough. But because of Hermione they had spent quite a few hours fixing the mess of the five stupid wizards with the help from the Obliviator Headquarters.

Draco tapped his wand on the front door, cursing himself for not taking a key with him. He could use a spell, but he wanted to try the polite way first. Since knocking was having no effect whatsoever, Draco went for the most potent unlocking spell. The door opened with a creepy sound. Draco took that as a bad sign.

Draco and Harry hadn't made any progress. The only successful thing Draco did was getting on Harry's nerves. Period. For Hermione, that was great news, but for Draco it was just one more thing to worry about. At least Harry had eaten his food - although he had asked about poisoning before tucking it all in as if he hadn't had anything to eat for days.

The blond sighed and made his way into the house. Mrs Black looked oddly quiet as Draco stared at her. He smirked. She was probably afraid of him now. After all, he had put her to sleep two times already. She knew better than to mess with him.

"There's another filthy half-breed in this house," she said, taking him by surprise.

"What do you mean?" he asked. He didn't like her wicked tone of voice.

She only smiled mysteriously, which made him really upset. He left his briefcase on the floor near the painting and saw light coming from the main living room.

So Harry had a guest. Who could it be?

He didn't know why but with every step he took he felt more and more apprehensive. He didn't know exactly what to expect, but he certainly didn't expect to see a woman on top of Harry, coiling around him like a snake, licking down Harry's naked chest. Draco froze on the spot, incapable of doing anything but watch with horrified fascination as the scene played out a few meters away from him. The woman had dark hair, a slim body and huge breasts that were now suffocating Harry's face. Harry wasn't complaining though.

Draco narrowed his eyes and the light blue turned very dark. He clenched his fists as he heard the woman moaning. His stomach jolted. He barely saw the empty bottle of vodka on the floor. He was too busy watching Harry's dazed expression as the woman swallowed his stiff cock. He couldn't take his eyes off Harry's face. Harry looked so lustful. Draco had imagined that scene a thousand times before, but in his dreams he was the one pleasuring Harry. He was the one making him moan and throw his head back as Draco took him in his mouth.

Draco felt sick, and then his vision went blurry. He could still hear the moans as the woman rode Harry, but he could see no more than two shadows moving. He gulped. Suddenly he was desperate for a drink.

He turned his back on them and walked away. He stumbled but didn't stop running until he was far away from those irritating and sickening sex noises. He thought he heard Mrs Black laughing, but he couldn't be sure.

Leaning against the cold wall, he slid to the floor and hid his face behind his shaking hands. His heart was pounding so fast he thought it would tear his chest apart. He needed to get a grip, and fast. He wasn't Harry's boyfriend. In fact, he didn't mean anything to the Golden Boy. Draco didn't have a right to react this way. He shouldn't be feeling outraged. His heart shouldn't be aching so much. Harry wasn't cheating on him. Then why couldn't he get hold of himself?

He wanted to wipe the scene he had just witnessed out of his memory. He hated himself because of his weakness. He hated the fact that he was acting like a cheated lover. He hated the fact that all of his insecurities were coming back to him just because he had caught Harry screwing someone.

He smiled bitterly. It wasn't as if he didn't know the risks. He didn't really expect to make Harry fall in love with him, did he? He didn't have those foolish hopes. He knew very well Harry was straight. Hell, he wasn't making any sense. Draco didn't mean anything to Harry. He didn't mean anything to anybody.

He was being melodramatic. He was overreacting. If Fred could see him now he would make fun of Draco for the rest of their lives. Draco was always composed. He wasn't emotional. So why was he freaking out? Why did he feel like crying? He hadn't shed a tear in years.

He had watched his father being taken away without a word. He hadn't complained when his mother had expelled him from Malfoy Manor and had deprived him of his heritage. So why now did he feel like he was falling into pieces?

What could he do? He felt lost.

He took a deep breath and collected his wounded self from the floor. He wouldn't just stand there suffering or he would never forgive himself. He was feeling rather pathetic and Draco was anything but that. He couldn't let Harry see him like this. It would be too humiliating for him. And how would he explain to Harry how painful it was for Draco to catch him with his dick in a strange woman's mouth? He had to get out and forget about the whole thing, or at least try.

And he knew just the person who could help him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bill didn't remember ever seeing Draco looking so lost. His sexy blond seemed totally worn out. More than that, Draco was behaving as if he was in a state of shock. Nothing else could explain why he was holding Bill so tightly. Draco didn't like intimacy. He usually sneered when Bill did something romantic, so now Bill was shocked for Draco's strange and needy behaviour. Something had happened, and he could bet every galleon he had that it had to do with Harry. But Draco didn't want to talk about it. He just wanted to be held by Bill.

What else could Bill do but welcome him in his arms? What else could he do but take Draco to his bedroom and love him? The moment they had laid down on his bed Draco had kissed him eagerly, clinging to him as if his life depended on it. It was impossible for Bill to resist.

Bill had undressed him quickly, eager to feel all of Draco too. He wanted to take everything that was being given to him so freely. It wasn't every day that he could see Draco so out of control, so willing to give into pleasure. Draco was usually so composed in bed, so in control of his own emotions that it felt great to have him like this, completely abandoned with every touch, moaning and wanting to do things he usually didn't. Bill loved this wild side of Draco. He loved the neat blond hair in disarray, the pink lips swollen and pleading for kisses.

"Ah... ah..." Draco's excited voice penetrated deeply inside them both. Bill let himself go, praying for the moment to last forever, but knowing that it wouldn't.

Later on, Draco took his time in the shower with Bill by his side. Then, more collected, he ate the macaroni and cheese Mrs Weasley had sent Bill. All the time, Bill paid full attention to him, but didn't ask him anything. That was the reason why Draco liked Bill most. He never demanded anything from Draco.

"Are you ok?" Bill asked when they were in bed.

Draco nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Bill embraced him from behind and Draco closed his eyes. He was feeling better, but at the same time he knew he was being unfair to Bill. In fact, he wasn't being fair with himself either. His mind was still on Harry and the woman.

His fingers enlaced Bill's. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

Bill frowned. "Why?"

"I attacked you."

Bill's soft laughter against his ear made him shiver. "I wish you'd attack me more often."

Draco smiled. "I guess I could do that."

Bill's fingers stroked him gently. "Did you have a tough day?"

"Yeah. You know how it is. Hermione either doesn't know my limits or she just doesn't care."

Bill chuckled softly. "Nobody can stop that woman." He kissed Draco's shoulder and then muttered, "And how was your first day with Harry?" Bill felt Draco's body stiffen under him and he knew he shouldn't have asked, but it was too late to go back now.

"It sucked," Draco answered after a few seconds. "He wasn't as depressed as I'd thought." He went out and got himself a woman. That was what Draco wanted to say, but didn't.

"What do you mean?"

Draco shrugged. "I dunno. It was my impression of him, that's all. He does look pathetic, though."

"Well, last time I saw him, he looked pretty bad. He had bags under his eyes and a dead expression on his face. It was scary. He didn't used to be like this."

"And that's what makes him so pathetic."

"So he isn't depressed."

"I don't know and frankly, I don't care," Draco said, upset. "Can we change the subject?"

"He got to you, didn't he?" Bill let it escape.

Draco glared at him. "What do you mean?"

Bill knew better than to answer him, so he just shrugged. Draco didn't seem satisfied with that, but since he didn't want to discuss the matter any further, he changed the subject, "Does your offer still stand?"

Bill held his breath for a moment. "Yes. I want you to live with me."

Draco leaned his elbows on the bed and stared at Bill silently. Bill was so beautiful, so perfect. Why wasn't Bill enough? Why couldn't he just settle down with him? Why did he have to complicate his life by having Harry in it again?

"Have you thought about it?" Bill asked. Draco could see the longing in his eyes. He sighed. He wished he had not only thought about it, but accepted as well.

"I'm still thinking about it. I think I would love to..."

Bill placed a finger on his lips. "Don't say anything now. Say it when you're ready. I want you to be sure of what you want."

Draco nodded and rested his head on Bill's chest. The only thing he was sure of was that he didn't deserve Bill. His lover knew him so well even without him saying anything. Bill knew Draco was upset because of something Harry did. He knew that whatever decision Draco made today would be based on that.

That was why Draco had to go back to Harry's house in the morning and face him once and for all. He needed to forget. Harry was wrong for him. He needed to let go of that silly crush. And he would.

TBC...