Expecto Patronum!

Note: This story is set before 'A Snake in the Grass' and 'The Farther Shore,' and you don't really need to have read any of my other stories to understand it. Some of the things I say here are contradicted by things I have put in my other stories; I hope you'll forgive me for that.

~

'Are you ready?' The guard looked at them with a scowl. 'Honestly,' he muttered under his breath, 'I don't know why on earth they insist that we take you lot over to have a look. All you do is disrupt our work. These too-clever-by-half Ministry wizards flitting about as if they know it all, until they see something that jolts them out of their cotton-wool lives, and then they come over all funny.' He snorted. 'You should try working there, then you'd know what it's really like.'

Diplomatically, James only said, 'Yes, we're ready.' Sirius grinned at him. Beside them, Remus thought that he wasn't really ready, but he didn't argue. And Peter looked as though he would be perfectly happy to remain on the dock for the rest of the day. But Sirius and James were already swinging their legs over the handles of their broomsticks, so Remus followed suit. The sixth person present was already astride his broom, glaring at the others. Severus Snape had not been happy about going anywhere with Sirius and his friends. But before he could speak, the guard mounted his elderly broom and kicked off the docks.

It was a cold flight over the North Sea. Remus had never really enjoyed flying as much as James and Sirius, and now with the black waters below and the thick damp clouds around him, he did not feel much better. Above him, James and Sirius were shouting comments and jokes to each other, sometimes racing ahead until a sharp word from the guard brought them back like leashed hounds. Peter trailed after them, and Snape flew just behind the guard, keeping his broom steady without effort.

Remus tried to distract himself from the long drop below by recalling why they were going. It had been a new policy that people who were affiliated with the Ministry in any way should go on a visit to Azkaban. That was why Snape was with them, for he was the fifth of the new members of the League Against Voldemort. Professor Dumbledore had told them it was the first thing all the members of the League did: take a trip to Azkaban and face the Dementors and the prisoners. Perhaps it was to discourage traitors - not that any of the League would ever work for Voldemort - or perhaps it was a test. Remus wasn't sure.

Because he had made a special study of Defence Against the Dark Arts, Remus knew all about what he would meet on Azkaban. However, he had never actually met a Dementor, only read about them and seen pictures of them in books. They were not often found anywhere apart from Azkaban, and if one did appear elsewhere, a special team of wizards would be sent to capture it. Remus knew the charm to send them away, but he didn't know if he would be able to use it. He'd never tried, and he knew none of the others had either.

Remus glanced downwards again, and gave a start that made his broom handle quiver. Below him, a dark mass had suddenly appeared, a heap of rocks and stone towers emerging from the water like a shark's fin. The guard gave a curt shout and pointed the handle of his broomstick downwards. James made a steep dive, a grin on his face as he shot past Remus and Peter who had begun to descend more steadily. Not to be outdone, Sirius swooped after him, shouting something that was whisked away by the wind. Remus' eyes were watering.

As he went lower, he began to feel it. First it was just a chill in the air that made him shiver and wish he had put on a warmer cloak. Then he saw Sirius and James pull out of their dives below him, flying more reluctantly downwards, and he knew that they felt it too. Snape was still flying just behind the guard. I should never have come, Remus thought, and he wondered if it was Azkaban that was making him think it.

A happy memory, he thought, that's what I need. He delved around in his mind for one. It was hard to find anything. Getting the letter to Hogwarts, his top results in the NEWTS, the day James, Sirius and Peter had become Animagi - were they strong enough? He didn't think there was any way of knowing until he got there.

The cold was growing, penetrating his bones and right to the pit of his stomach. He could see why they had been warned to take care as they flew in, and why most people went to Azkaban - of those people who did go there - went by ferry. But Sirius had persuaded the guard that they were all capable of flying there, with James agreeing, and Remus had been unable to talk him out of it. Snape had not tried, of course, for he would never say he couldn't do something that Sirius and James could. Of course, nobody had listened to Peter's protests.

Thinking was becoming more of an effort, his whole body was cold and his mind was full of unpleasant thoughts. The ground was rising rapidly towards him, or so it seemed. He slowly pulled the broom out of the dive and looked at the place he was landing. It was a courtyard, walled and with sheer cliffs on the other side of the walls. Sirius, Snape and James had already landed, as had the guard.

Almost drowsily, he pulled the broom to a halt and stumbled off. He disregarded the broom as it fell to the ground. Cold was beating against him, darkness. Worthless, monster, inhuman, werewolf, you belong here.

He could not even see a Dementor, but he knew there were very many of them, all nearby. He all but fell towards where the others were standing. Snape did not even glare at him in his normal manner as he stood frozen. Sirius turned his head.

'Moony, you all right?' he asked.

Behind them, Peter was landing. He looked like he was about to be sick. Remus wanted to go over to him, but he couldn't summon the strength. Instead he looked hopelessly at Sirius.

'I didn't think it would be - like this,' he said. Dimly, he heard his own words and was surprised by how thin and weak his voice sounded.

'No,' Sirius replied. He put a hand on Remus' arm, but he was cold as well. Peter came to join them. Taking slow calm breaths, Remus tried to pull himself together. He would have to get used to this, they were going to be here for several hours. If you can't even cope with this, he asked himself, how will you manage when you get to the Dementors?

The others seemed to be recovering their mental balance, adjusting to the coldness and the pain that seemed to be beating out of the very ground. Remus had been in cursed places before this, and the feeling was similar.

Only the guard seemed untroubled by everything. He scowled at them.

'Well, you comin' in or not? Thought you lot were ready to face Dementors an' all.'

They all moved around to where he was standing. James appeared to have recovered himself sufficiently to smile encouragingly at Remus and Peter. Snape's face was impassive, apart from the muscle twitching in his cheek. Even he feels it, Remus thought.

'We'll go through the cells now. There won't be any Dementors there this minute.' Peter heaved a sigh of relief, and Remus felt the same. High up at the top of the fortress he could see tall black figures moving around, seeming to draw all the light and warmth there was in the place into themselves, and he had no desire to get any closer to them. But he knew he would have to. He walked quickly after Sirius and Snape into the building.

Another man met them in the doorway. He was dressed in much more elegant clothes than the guard, who gave him a nod, but he also wore a small shining badge on his lapel which signified that he was a member of the Azkaban staff.

'Good afternoon,' he said. 'I am George Praetor, and I am the governor of Azkaban.' He shook hands with each of them. Remus wondered how the people could stand it working here. Even out of the presence of the Dementors, there was a sense of cold and depression over everything. His eyes flickered over all of them. 'Now, let me take you through the cells.' He led them off.

The grey stone corridor was damp and even colder than outside, though there was no wind. The walls were over a foot thick, Remus noticed, and he noticed spells worked into the mortar. The thought of an appalling ancient custom made his stomach churn until he forced himself to look more closely and saw that it was not children's blood that held the fortress together but a powerful Constrictus Charm. The governor began to speak.

'The fortress was built in 1327 by the great wizard William de Wattlesby, for housing dangerous prisoners. The spells that secure this island have been in place since then, and are unbreakable. The addition of Dementors as guards dates from the sixteenth century.'

'How do you get the Dementors here?' asked James of the guard in a low voice so as not to interrupt the governor, who was still running through the things every wizard learnt in the first year at Hogwarts. Remus turned towards him, listening with interest.

The guard scowled at him and didn't answer at once. At length he said, 'This lot don't go anywhere, and we use 'em to help us get any we find running wild. Can't have 'em on the mainland, else you lot all get edgy.' He spat. 'Here are the cells,' he said after leading them to an iron door at the end of the corridor. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a huge bunch of keys. With much jangling and flourishing of keys, the guard unlocked the door.

Remus felt a shiver run down his spine as the door gave a high-pitched squeal. It swung slowly open, and the guard ushered them through. Then he locked the door behind them.

'This is the low-security area,' said the governor. The guard thrustthe keys in his pocket again. Remus looked around. On both sides were rows of barred doors. There were various sounds, murmuring and muttering in low, scarcely human voices. He shuddered. James looked ill.

Snape seemed unaffected as he walked coolly after the governor and the guard towards a barred door. The muscle in his face had stopped twitching now. He looked in the cell. The other four followed after.

In the cell, which was about four paces square, a man was sitting on a stool. His face was in his hands and he was moaning. Remus winced and glanced at the others. Snape still looked into the cell intently.

'That's Torvald the Black,' he said, his voice as distant if he were identifying a potion in class.

'Yeah,' the guard answered, looking at Snape with a bit less hostility. 'Been here nine years now.'

Remus felt his eyes drawn back to the man on the stool. It was hard to believe that he had been feared by all of Cornwall at the peak of his powers.

'Nooo!' cried the man suddenly, raising his head and looking past them. 'I won't do it, I won't!' His voice was cracked and wild.

'Most of the prisoners go mad here in a few weeks, some take even less time than that,' said the governor calmly, beginning to lead them away again. Snape was still giving each cell a hard glare as he passed. Remus tried not to look, but it was almost impossible. He flinched at each huddled, wretched figure. What were the Dementors like, if they could do this to people? James' reaction was similar. Sirius was trying to imitate Snape's cool, and not altogether succeeding, for his face was very pale. Peter shot nervous, frightened glances at each prisoner as if not at all sure he would be safe from them even here.

At the end of the long hall of prisoners, the governor stopped them again. Seemingly unaware of the wails from the prisoner in the cell behind them - a young woman underneath the grime, Remus noticed - he began to talk.

'There are thirty-two prisoners on the island at present,' he said, 'and there are always more to come.' He smiled; Remus wondered if this was what passed for a joke in Azkaban. 'Of these, there are nine high-security prisoners, whom we will visit presently, and twenty-three normal prisoners. They are here for a variety of crimes. All of the high-security inmates have been associated in some way with the Dark Arts. And the others have committed a range of offences.' He waved an absent hand at the woman in the cell. 'For example, she poisoned her sister.' From his tone of voice he could have been talking about the weather. 'Now we will go through to the high-security building. There will be Dementors in there.'

Remus shivered. So far he had only seen them at a distance, standing at the ends of corridors, seeming to be surrounded by an aura of grief and misery. He hated to think what it would feel like close up. They were led up a spiral staircase - clockwise, Remus noticed, so that a defender coming down would have his wand hand free. Muggle castles were the same, he recalled from his primary school lessons, but that was for swords rather than wands. Thinking about things like this helped him distract his mind from the atmosphere of gloom.

At the top of the staircase, the guard unlocked another door, led them through an empty corridor and to a heavily barred door.

'The high-security prisoners are in here,' said the governor. The sensation of having chunks of ice in his stomach was even stronger here, and Remus could see that the others felt it too. Impassively, the guard opened the door. Standing inside it was a Dementor. They all recoiled, but the governor pointed his wand at it. It backed a few paces away. Remus had to force his legs to carry him past it, teeth clenched to keep them from chattering. Behind him, Sirius was staring riveted at the creature. Remus turned and caught his arm.

'C'mon,' he said between clenched teeth, giving Sirius a tug. After a split second, Sirius sprang after him. Once they were past the Dementor, Remus was amazed at how the atmosphere seemed to lighten. He scarcely noticed the chill in the air.

But he could not avoid noticing the screams. The governor stopped them in front of a door barricaded with both spells and iron bars. The cries that were coming from it made Remus curl up inside.

'This is Jordan Worthing,' the governor said. 'He has been here only four days.'

Remus remembered that. Worthing had been captured by one of the members of the League. And this was what happened to someone when they had been captured, he thought. With the howls for mercy and the voice caught on the edge of sanity echoing in his skull, he had to force himself to remember what Worthing had done. Did anyone deserve this? If he remained here much longer, Remus thought, he would start screaming too.

Worthing had been working for the Ministry, but in actuality he had been one of Voldemort's followers, passing on vital information to his master. There was no telling how many of Voldemort's actions had been prompted by this man's advice. And now he was in Azkaban. Working for the League, he might well have to send someone here. Remus wondered if he could do it. He tried to block the cries from his hearing.

The governor led them past eight more cells, and past another Dementor standing impassively by a window. Snape seemed very interested in everything, looking into every cell as if trying to put every terrible detail into his memory. Remus shuddered, wondering if he actually was unaffected or if he was just an excellent actor.

Sirius was not such a good actor. Remus was watching him with some concern. He had always pretended to be interested and unconcerned about the Dementors, but there were tight lines around his eyes and mouth, and he moved stiffly. But Sirius would face down twenty Dementors before admitting he was in trouble, which was why Remus watched him so closely.

James seemed fine now, and he was clearly doing his best to keep an eye on the others, even Snape. That didn't surprise Remus. James had such a level head that he'd be fine anywhere, even in Voldemort's legendary stronghold. Peter was hurrying at his side, trying not to look at anything. For the thousandth time, Remus wondered why Dumbledore had agreed to let Peter join the League. Well, it was not for him to question Dumbledore's decisions. Peter was coping better than he had anticipated. If it came to that, why should there be a werewolf in the League?

They came to the end of the high-security area, the governor still talking quietly about various things. Then they had to go past another Dementor. Again he wondered how the guard and the other staff here managed. Working at Azkaban was very highly paid, because it was such an undesirable job, but even so, Remus felt he would not never work there for all the gold in Gringotts.

'All right,' said the governor after leading them through another heavily barred door and down the spiral staircase at the end. 'The other buildings on the fortress are offices and quarters for the staff who remain here. There is no need to show you them.'

Remus sighed with relief. He had not become any more used to the grim stone corridors and the distant cries of the prisoners, and he was glad to be leaving. Snape's hand was twitching to his wand, as if he wanted to do something. The governor looked at them all consideringly.

'There is one final thing,' he said. 'Come with me.'

Feeling cheated, Remus walked with the others after him.

'What do you think it's going to be?' asked James with a grin that did not touch his eyes.

'Dementors, most probably,' said Remus glumly. 'Expecto Patronum, right?'

'Yeah,' said Sirius, who was close by. 'We'll be fine. It's not as though they're going to give us the Kiss.' James and Remus both shuddered. The Dementor's Kiss, the most terrible thing that could ever happen to a person.

'Right,' said the guard, leading them down to a door. 'Come through 'ere. This is where the prisoners go for exercise, but they aren't there now. Go across and through the door on the other side.' A half-smile hovered around his face, he seemed to be looking forwards to something.

Shooting encouraging glances at each other, wands ready in their hands, they all walked through the archway and into a small stone courtyard. Remus reeled back, and saw the others looking equally horror-stricken.

There were Dementors standing in the small inner yard. Five of them, towering and black. Remus' first thought was amazement that he had felt he was badly off a moment ago. They moved slowly towards the young wizards. There was a clang as the door behind them swung shut, cutting off their retreat.

James was saying something, there was a silvery mist hovering in front of him, and a matching one in front of Snape. He looked around wildly. The exit on the other side of the courtyard was unreachable, he could not have brought himself to take a single step towards it with the Dementors before him.

Everything was driven out of his mind by panic, and he struggled with himself for a moment. What were you supposed to do when you met a Dementor? The Patronus Charm, he thought, that was it. Expecto Patronum.

A happy memory. But everything was cold around him and his mind didn't work. A searing pain rushed through him, and in a moment of blind horror he thought he had miscalculated the time of the month. He was transforming.

But no. He looked down at himself dazedly, and saw only his dark, shabby robes. No paws, no hair. But the pain remained, the terrible bone-ripping agony of changing from one body to another. In the swirls of pain and the angry howls of the wolf, he could scarcely remember what he was supposed to do.

'Expecto Patronum,' he murmured faintly. 'Expecto….' Only a thin silver mist that was dispelled by the wind came from his wand, his mind was drowning in the howls of rage. It was like transforming, but with no hope of ever coming back again, life under an eternal rising full moon.

His eyes were shutting, he dropped to his knees. He no longer felt the cold, no longer heard anything of the voices of his friends. Everything seemed to be happening to someone a long way away, not to him, not to Remus Lupin.

Something small was hammering and shouting inside his brain, underneath the howls of the wolf. A human voice, shrieking that he had to do something. His hand felt so heavy as he reached to his wand again. It would be much easier to lie here, there was no way he could do anything anyway. His fingers closed around the wand. He lifted it up, goaded by the voice in his mind. Get up! Pull yourself together, you idiot! What do you think you're doing?

A happy memory, his instinct was telling him. But there were no happy memories, the wolf was roaming his mind and howling, alone and full of the furious lust for blood. Transforming, the wolf did not know what happiness was, and the voice grew fainter again.

He was turning numb. He could not feel the wand in his hand, could not remember what it was for. The wolf howled through his mind, the pain and the anger filling him again. A happy memory, gasped the voice. And the wolf was beginning to feel the pain now. It howled frustration. A happy memory. What was happiness?

Pain, darkness, hunger, cold, torment, alone … no. Not alone. The wolf had a memory of a dog. Hold on to it, cried the voice. A dog, a dog, he knew there was more … but the cold was surrounding him and he did not know what more there could be.

The wolf supplied it. A dog and a wolf, mock-fighting on the ground, the warm ground. Chasing in a forest. Hunting. Playing. Remus' hand closed more firmly on the wand.

'Expecto … Patronum,' croaked a voice he didn't know. His own voice. 'Expecto Patronum.'

Moony and Padfoot were rolling over and over on the damp leaves, tussling like cubs, neither wishing to end the game. Finally they rolled too far and landed in the pond with loud splashing and yelping. Padfoot swam around for a bit while Moony tried to get the pondweed off his nose. Then the two gigantic animals swam ashore and shook the water from their fur. Pale, intelligent eyes met the golden gleam of the wolf's eyes, and two tails wagged furiously.

'Expecto Patronum!'

And there was no silver mist. Instead a huge silver shape hovered in front of him. Remus pushed himself to his feet shaking with effort, and looked at his Patronus as it bounded forwards to the Dementors.

It was the wolf.

Remus almost dropped his wand in amazement. The Dementors were backing away as the wolf leapt for their throats. Telling himself to worry about it later, Remus held his wand outstretched, hoping his knees would not give way, hoping he could keep the Patronus there until the Dementors were gone. His mind was clear again, the wolf was no longer howling furiously.

He staggered forwards towards the exit. The others were moving too. A half-formed Patronus was still floating in front of James, and he had grabbed Peter by his collar. Sirius and Snape both went towards the exit as well. White-faced and furious, Snape looked at the Patronus as if it were something a hundred times worse than the Dementors.

His legs were shaking, but he made it to the archway and turned, leaning against the wall and holding his wand in both hands. He waited while the other four went through the arch, and James joined him, trying to strengthen his own Patronus.

The wolf chased the Dementors to the opposite side of the yard, then turned. As it came near, Snape backed away from it with hatred plain on his face.

When it was close enough for Remus to make out each silvery hair, the wolf suddenly vanished. Remus staggered through the arch, letting his wand fall to his side. Some spells were exhausting, he knew, but he'd never had to work one that left him feeling like he'd just woken up after the full moon. Sirius had come over to him, and now he steadied Remus with a hand. The guard had appeared from somewhere, and was locking the gate into the courtyard.

'Wow,' Sirius murmured. 'I didn't think anything could make them go.'

Remus turned to look at him. His face was streaked with tears which he had clearly tried to wipe away with his sleeve. Remus didn't ask him what he had seen. Nothing could make Sirius cry, he knew, and he didn't want to think about what had done the impossible.

'I don't know how you managed to keep your head like that,' continued Sirius shakily. 'I don't think I could have told you my name a few minutes ago.'

Remus only shook his head. Had he conjured the Patronus, or had the wolf? The idea was making his mind spin.

'Well done, Moony,' said James quietly. 'There was a reason you were always top in Defence Against the Dark Arts, you know.'

The guard was standing in the doorway watching sourly. His expression, however, seemed mild and friendly compared to the look Snape was wearing. It was pure hatred.

Peter was choking off his sobs into a corner of his cloak. Looking at him, Remus was hard pressed to bear in mind that he was nineteen now, a graduate of Hogwarts and not a first year.

'You okay?' asked James quietly.

'Yes.' Remus' knees had stopped shaking and he straightened up. Nobody seemed to want to ask him about the Patronus, which didn't surprise him. He didn't want to talk about it either. The governor appeared in the outer courtyard.

'Well done,' he said. His eyes kept flickering to Remus, clearly full of unasked questions. 'That was a good performance. I will pass this on to Professor Dumbledore.' He looked at the others. 'With wizards of this quality joining, I feel certain that the League will be successful.'

Nobody was listening to his formal words, even Snape's eyes were looking inward. Remus took a deep breath.

'Thanks,' said James, sounding distracted.

'Will you return on the boat?' asked the governor. James looked around at the others. Remus gave a nod. He didn't think he could fly his broom as far as the other side of the island, much less back to the mainland. To his surprise, Sirius nodded as well.

'Yes,' said James. 'Please.'

'Very well then,' said the governor. 'Your broomsticks will be on board as well. I hope I don't ever see you here again.'

Remus almost laughed at that. He raised his head to look at the tall towers and the black cliffs, and shuddered. He thought of the wolf. Why on earth had he conjured that up? What did it mean?

The guard was now leading the way down to the big gate at the bottom of the courtyard. Remus' stomach twisted when he saw that there were two Dementors on either side of it, but the guard flicked his wand at them and they backed a few paces away. Yet again Remus wondered how they did it.

He steeled himself as he walked through the gate. The chill struck him so that he nearly lost his footing, and the wolf howled once in his mind, and then he was past. There was a very long staircase down, and a boat at the bottom. He climbed down slowly, not speaking. James and Sirius were talking quietly behind him, but Peter and Snape were both silent.

They climbed onto the boat and settled themselves on the hard wooden bench. It was the same boat that transported convicts here, Remus realised as he noticed the spells woven into the wood. The guard gave it a slap with his wand and it shot across the waves.

With every splash that carried them away, Remus felt himself grow warmer and less tense. Looking at the others, he saw that they felt it too. Sirius grinned at him, a real grin. Shuffling closer along the bench so that Snape could not hear what he said, he asked, 'Was that - was that Moony, the Patronus?'

Remus nodded slowly.

'I thought it was.' He shook his head. 'I mean - it scared me so much, Remus.' He glanced up nervously, but Snape was sitting on the other side of the boat looking the other way scornfully. 'I was - thinking about you and the others … and then I saw the Patronus…' He trailed off. Remus looked at him closely. Sirius had been thinking about him when he saw a Dementor? He did not want to know what it was that Sirius dreaded. Perhaps being attacked by a werewolf.

He clearly had not been keeping his expression under guard, for Sirius was shaking his head violently.

'No, no, Moony, you idiot. I was - I thought you all were being attacked by Voldemort - and I couldn't do anything.' He swallowed hard. 'Even Snape could make a Patronus of sorts.' A scowl crossed his face. 'No idea why Dumbledore wanted him in the League. He's a nightmare.'

Remus smiled, glad to see Sirius back to normal. He didn't answer, but looked over the stern at the rapidly shrinking castle in the water. As it shrunk, so did the chill in his bones. He tried not to think about what he had seen and felt when the Dementors were all around him. It was hard to get rid of the ache that it left behind, even though the pain had only existed in his mind. He pondered this for a while, and then looked up to see Snape staring at him. He smiled slightly, and received a stony glare in return. Snape was finding it hard, being grateful to a werewolf. Well, that made no change from normal. He looked away and smiled at Sirius instead. Sirius returned the grin.

The boat was bobbing up and down on the waves as they drew nearer to the docks. Remus knew that none of the Muggle boats around, the oil rigs and the fishing trawlers, would have seen them. Neither would they see Azkaban, but they would sail around it without knowing what they were doing. They sailed straight into the end of a dock, and the boat moored itself at a wave of James' wand.

'There,' said James. 'I think the broomsticks are up here - yes.' They all retrieved their brooms from the pile and clambered out of the boat, Peter looking a little bit seasick. A smiling elderly man waited on the dock.

'I am told you all did very well,' said Professor Dumbledore when they were standing on dry ground. His eyes found Remus and his smile would have broadened if that had been possible. 'Congratulations.'

Now that they were away from Azkaban, Remus could scarcely believe it was true that he had been there. The terrible, cold sensation and the constant misery were only memories, and rapidly fading ones at that. But the memory of the Patronus would not fade, nor that of the agony that had preceded it. He returned Dumbledore's smile faintly.

'So,' said Dumbledore. 'Welcome to the League Against Voldemort. I feel sure that none of you will ever have to return to Azkaban other than willingly.' Sirius gave a dry laugh at the thought of going there willingly. Then Dumbledore's voice became more serious. 'Now that you have seen how we deal with those people who work for Voldemort, are you still willing to work for the League?'

Remus nodded slowly. So did the others.

'Good. Excellent.' Dumbledore began to lead them away from the docks. 'Now that you are working for me, I have something I must ask you to do.' As five pairs of eyes watched him intently, Dumbledore smiled. 'Go and get some rest and sleep. You can start work tomorrow.'

James laughed at that, and Remus felt relieved. As they began to talk, Snape muttered something under his breath and Disapparated.

'Let's go home,' said Peter. They also Disapparated, reappearing at the flat they were sharing in London. They were all subdued that evening, and Remus was not asked about his Patronus again. He wasn't sure whether to be glad about this or not.

Lying awake despite his exhaustion that night, he thought about his Patronus. From what he had been taught about Patroni - which was probably as flawed as what he had been taught about werewolves - Remus knew that they were supposed to be a projection of the happiness within a person, and whatever it was in their minds that protected them. The idea of being protected by a werewolf frightened him. Over the years he had accepted that he was a wolf as well as a human, but it didn't make the thought of it much easier.

Despite his hopes, he knew he would probably have to face a Dementor again. He wasn't sure if it was a reassurance or not that he could rely on the wolf to protect him. Of course, knowing about the Dark Arts from the inside, as it were, had been very helpful in studying, but was he prepared to use it for real?

He didn't know. He thought of his monthly excursions with his friends. Then he had protected them as a werewolf, if he needed to. What was so different about this?

Nothing, he finally decided. It was a part of him, it was something he could do and it would be wrong not to use it when he could help his friends. He rolled over in bed, listening to the sound of Sirius' snores through the wall. If he could help them by being a werewolf, he would.

With these thoughts in his head, he fell asleep. Dreams of running free filled his head, dreams of the moon and of the open country. Dreams of hunting with a pack, of being surrounded by his own kind. The dreams of the werewolf. And then in his dreams he was hunting with a friend, but not a wolf. A large black dog with pale eyes entered his dream and they ran together under the full moon.

THE END

I think this was heavily influenced by both Moon and CLS, so special thanks to them, and also to morrigan for beta-reading.
I hope you liked this story, and I hope you'll review it!
Blaise.
25th June 2000