Locked in a Room with You

Evil author appears in the middle of Elrond's council

Author: Mwahaha. I come with word from t-

Elrond: Who?

Author: Can I finish?!

Elrond: Hey, you interrupted MY council!!

Author: But HEY! I'm the one writing this buddy!

Moment or two of silence and horrified looks

Author: You were saying...?

Legolas: Sweet mother of-

Author: AHEM

Legolas: Eyes get wide

Author: Hm...goes over and grabs Legolas by the collar, then Aragorn, and who could forget Pippin?!

Come on.

Aragorn: Gulp

Author: Mwahahaha...my penguins...?

Penguins: Ya?

Author: Mwah. TO HOGWARTS, MY MINIONS!!!!!

They all disappear

They land in The Great Hall

Snape: AH! NOOOOOO! THE DARK LORD HAS PUUUNNNNIIISSSHHHEEED MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone stares

Snape: AND NOW EVERYONE STARES AT ME?! MASTER, THIS IS CRUUU-EL!!!!!!!

Me: Holy. Shit. GET YOURSELF TOGETHER YOU GREASY HAIRED-

Moony: (A/N: 'Cause we love him) Shhh....It is not HIS fault he has not discovered Herbal Essence, and he only uses Head 'n Shoulders.....

Me: Ponders Hmm...you never cease to amaze me-

Moony: That'll be 10 galleons.

Me:- And pick a hole in my wallet.

Moony: Mwaha.

Padfoot: ('Cause we miss him) Moony, Are you charging for random bits of wisdom that no one really listens to AGAIN?!

Me: ENOUGH! THE ARGUING WILL END...BUT THE AMUSEMENT...

Pippin: She's scarier than Sam when he's hungry...

Penguins : Wanna do it now Boss?

Me: Yeah sure....MWAHAHAHA.

Whirly stuff, twinkly music, me laughin' my head off...

Legolas, Aragorn, Pippin, Snape, Moony and Padfoot land in a small room with no-windows and no doors.

Pippin: Sit down ya'll...after all, no -ones-

Legolas: By the way, I'm claustrophobic.

Everyone groans

Legolas: But this is fine, it's big enough, but I'll probably...Loses consciousness

Aragorn: Hmmm...

Padfoot: Let's play a game!

Snape: WHY MEEEEEEE LORD?!?!

Moony: You know, I don't enjoy this much either....

Pippin: Drinks all around!

Pippin is ignored

Padfoot: OOOH! LET'S PLAY DUCK-DUCK-LILY?!

Pippin: OH! I'VE NEVER PLAYED THAT BEFORE!!!!!

Lily magically appears.

Lily: Oh DAMN

Padfoot: Puppy dog eyes Do we make you PMS THAT much...?

Lily: Sirius, luv?

Padfoot: Yeah Lils?

Lily: YOU CAN'T MAKE ME PMS!!!!

Moony: Ooooooh, someone got toooooold....

Snape: sniffs Is my hair that greasy? IS THAT WHY MY LORD PUNIIISSSHES MEE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

Lily: Yes-

Snape: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

Moony: AH! WILL THE MADNESS EVER END?!?!?!?!?!?!

Lily: No. But, Remus?

Snape: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Moony: Yes Lily?

Lily: When-

Padfoot: GAME!! GAME GAME GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!!!!!

Snape: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Aragorn: Snores softly

Pippin: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz-Yeah, uh-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz-that-that's it...riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight there.........zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Gets disgusted looks

Pippin: Uh...uh huh...my Mustang JT just got a leak, and I.....tried to fix it but.............whoo-hoo, Hooter's was RIGHT...zzzzzzzzzzzz.....there......