Severus's Pensieve

Disclaimer: Weasleys are red, Ravenclaws are blue, I don't own Harry Potter, and neither do you.

Chapter 3: Halloween at Hogwarts

1981 ---

Although Marci wasn't sitting in the room with a hard headed Mad-eye Moody, her blood was still boiling over their conversation. The nerve of the old Auror to convict the Doyles so quickly, who did he think he was? Just because they were present during the torture does not mean they are guilty. More and more people were claiming to be under the Imperius curse, an Unforgivable Curse that allowed the caster to exert complete control over the person it was cast upon. As of now, no one had even looked into the possibility that the Doyles were under Imperius. It was absolutely infuriating.

Reluctantly Marci let her mind slip to less offensive things, hoping to temper her anger. Like the upcoming restrictions on Halloween. The students would not be happy, but they had little knowledge of how dangerous Halloween in the castle could be. The last three years had been relatively quiet on Halloween because of the Dark Lord's uprising. More security had been put in place and professors had less tolerance for student shenanigans, regardless of how harmless they were.

Marci trailed her fingers along the side of the corridor wall, feeling the cracks and crevices of the ancient brick. She was worried about Halloween, although Halloween at Hogwarts had always been a little frightening to Marci. This was nothing new. Her first Halloween in the castle had taught her that regardless of the security, anything could happen.

The Death Eaters and Dark Lord were not the only things you had to worry about on Halloween at Hogwarts. There were bullies, thugs, and practical jokers, who just wanted a good laugh at another person's expense. Her first Halloween was filled with all those types of people but was embodied by two boys in particular: James Potter and Sirius Black. In fact, those two boys had seemed to terrorize her every Halloween.

Marci had only been at Hogwarts for two months, but already she had realized James and Sirius were going to be trouble. They teased kids who were less popular than themselves, pointed out everyone else's flaws, and played cruel jokes on the kids they hated the most. These two boys had no sympathy for anyone and no empathy for other's feelings. They were Gryffindors and had a little gang of other first years that fawned over their every move: Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin. Pettigrew was relatively harmless but fiercely loyal. Lupin was quiet and tended to turn a blind eye from the duos more brutal past times. Pettigrew and Lupin never really participated in Potter and Black's more harmful endeavors but they never did anything to stop them either. Just thinking about the two Gryffindor bullies had Marci seeing red. It was these two deviants that ruined her first Halloween at Hogwarts, tainting every Halloween to follow.

October 31, 1973 --- Third Year

Marci woke up early on her third Halloween at Hogwarts. Even after two full years at Hogwarts, she couldn't help but be homesick on certain days. This was one of them. Marci rolled over in bed, wanting nothing more than to sleep through the whole day. Halloween was probably her least favorite day ever at Hogwarts. Something terrifying always seemed to happen on Halloween at Hogwarts. A tantalizing smell kept Marci from allowing herself to sleep through morning classes.

The whole dormitory smelt like spiced pumpkin candles, her mother's favorite. Marci yearned for home. She took a huge sniff, relishing in the warmth it brought to her bones. Wrapping herself tighter in her blankets, she thought of her mother and her brother, wondering what they were doing this morning. Actually, Marci didn't have to wonder. She already knew. The same thing had happened every year on Halloween in her household, since before she could remember.

It was a weird mix of modern day tradition and ancient Gaelic tradition. Her mother had an interesting mix of spiritual beliefs. She believed that everything was a living thing with a soul and energy. Nancy thought that you could tap into these energies and manipulate them to the will of the caster. She was also Irish. Marci's great grandmother was pure-blooded Irish and was born and raised on the Irish coast. Her mother had grown up celebrating the traditional Gaelic holidays. Because of that, October 31 was a very important day for her family.

Nancy would wake the children up early every Halloween, regardless of their protests, to head out to the vegetable patch to harvest the food. That was the Irish tradition. October 31 is the ancient Irish New Year, the day of the harvest. The family would spend the morning gathering fresh veggies and herbs. Nancy would cook fresh eggs, straight from the coop, and bacon bought at the local farm. She would squeeze oranges and the children would binge on the sweet juices. In the afternoon, the family would sit around the table and carve out giant turnips, also an old Irish tradition. Marci always thought it was weird when she saw other families carving pumpkins.

After that they would dwell on the past year, sharing their favorite memories and munching on cookies. There was never a lack of treats on Halloween in Marci's house. Most children had to wait until evening to devour sweets; Marci got her first cookie before noon. The family would set New Year's resolutions before getting ready to go out and trick or treat.

When they got home, Marci's mom would spend a few minutes building two small fires out in the back lot. Then she'd come in and the kids would race through the house, turning off all the lights and lighting candles. The family would troop outside and Mom would send up prayers to the universe, for a prosperous year and for protection from any evil energy. After a rendition of the Lord's Prayer, the family put down their candles and ran between the two fires in an ancient cleansing ceremony older than time itself.

Marci felt tears stream down her face as she thought of home. She missed her mother. She even missed her brother and his constant pestering. As much as she loved Hogwarts, there were nights when Marci just wanted someone to tuck her in at night and tell her bed time stories, stories from the Bible and ancient Irish folklore.

Wiping her tears away Marci swung out of bed and dressed, quickly wrapping herself up tight. She wanted to go out and walk around the grounds to collect the last of the late blooming flowers. It was the closest thing Marci had to harvesting vegetables.

She didn't find very many flowers on the grounds so she took to picking some pathetic, wilting Dandelions. When she finally made her way back to the castle, she had a small bundle of yellow flowers. She took the black ribbon from her hair and wound it around the stems, making a makeshift bouquet. As she reached the Great Hall, she heard a small gong ringing through the halls, the first class of the day would start in five minutes. Marci ran up the Grand Staircase, praying the whole way the stairs wouldn't change too much. McGonagall would murder her if she was late again.

Marci's prayers were answered and she dropped into her seat just as the professor stepped out of her office. Jeanne leaned over and dropped a small white package in front of her. "I thought you might be hungry. I didn't see you at breakfast," she whispered.

Marci unwrapped the paper to find two pieces of buttered toast and sent a grateful smile towards her friend. "Thank you," she whispered. After the lecture was over, McGonagall handed out a tea pot to each student and instructed them to transfigure it into a tortoise.

Halfway through their practical something small hit Marci on the side of the head. She looked down to find a scrunched up ball of paper. She opened it to find a note, scribbled in awful, blocky letters.

Nice flowers. Are they from your boyfriend? Are they from Snivellus? That bundle of weeds probably seems like a bouquet of roses to him. Give Snivellus our love today in Potions.

It was obvious that this was a note from Sirius Black. Marci turned around and glared at him. He just grinned in response, giving James a high five. Marci grabbed her precious dandelions and lovingly placed them in her bag, trying her hardest not to cry. Typically she didn't let these two boys get the best of her, but today she was vulnerable, today she was missing her mother. These little dandelions were the closest she would come this Halloween to home.

*~SP~*

In Double Potions Marci was subdued and quiet. Professor Slughorn had sent her off with Severus Snape, a Slytherin, to work on their Advanced Potions homework while he got the rest of the class settled. Both students were brilliant brewers but Severus more so than Marci. She was studying fourth year Potions; Severus was well into the seventh year curriculum and prepping for his N.E.W.T (Nasty Exhausting Wizarding Test). Most days, Severus taught Marci while Slughorn ignored the two.

Over the past two years, the pair had developed an interesting relationship. Inside their little work room they talked about all kinds of things: the magical properties of various plants, Marci's family and home, the different books each was reading, and occasionally they talked of more personal matters. Mostly they talked about Marci's life during her years at Hogwarts and before she found out she was a witch. Rarely did Severus talk about his life but from the tidbits he had shared, Marci had gathered that his life at home wasn't perfect. His parents fought and Severus was very much ignored and neglected, though the boy never came out and said that. Whenever Marci pried too far into his home life his eyes would become vacant and if he replied at all, his answers were vague.

Outside the classroom, they barely spoke if they weren't alone but they studied together almost every day. For some reason each child felt more comfortable speaking openly in their private classroom or while exploring the dungeons together. Marci was pretty sure Severus was uncomfortable around Jeanne, Marci's constant companion. He didn't dislike her; he just wasn't as social as the two girls. Severus rarely prattled on about something meaningless. He preferred to save his words for something he thought was of the most utmost importance. For this, he got ignored by Jeanne for the most part, who liked to gossip about the going-ons about the castle. She always had commentary on who liked who, who was failing which classes, and any other good gossip she caught in the hallways. As the two girls got older, the gossip seemed to get darker. Jeanne had started to hear tidbits about families who supported You-Know-Who and had even heard of a few seventh years who had taken his mark. Mostly the girls tried to ignore the scarier gossip that filled the halls but it seemed that the chaos Voldemort was wreaking on Britain was finally penetrating Hogwarts.

October 26, 1973 --- Third Year, four days prior

Marci and Jeanne ran, holding hands, up the corridor towards the library. Their book bags were swinging against their hips and they were giggling like the school girls they were. They had just seen Amos Diggory and Violetta Summers kissing in an empty classroom. It wouldn't have been so funny except Violetta was a teaching assistant this year! She was kissing a student. Not just any student, a prefect. This was good ripe gossip for the making.

The two girls came to a screeching halt in front of the library doors to catch their breath. "Marc, that was so funny!" Jeanne cried, holding her sides. "It looked like Amos was eating her face!" With that newly planted image in her mind, Marci dropped her bags and fell to the floor, Jeanne falling on top of her. The girls rolled around in fits of laughter for a few moments when they heard a high pitched, and disapproving, "Ahem."

The girls looked up into the narrow, sunken face of Madam Pince, the ancient librarian. "If you will be so kind," she spat, "as to temper your hysterics, it would be much appreciated." The old woman glared down at the girls with her hawk like eyes and slammed the double doors. This just had the girls laughing that much harder.

When they finally managed to make it to their usual study alcove overlooking the lake, the girls were wiping away tears of laughter and knocking their heads together to whisper. Severus looked up from his usual chair giving the girls a quizzical look; they burst into fits of silent laughter. Severus scowled and returned to his book.

"Come on Severus, you can crack a smile once in a while," Marci commented, sitting down next to him and giving him a friendly kick under the table. He ignored her so Marci turned back to Jeanne. "What do you think will happen if Professor Dumbledore finds out about Amos and Violetta?"

Jeanne just shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. Amos is 17. I guess he can make his own decisions." Jeanne's nose pulled towards her eyebrows in an unpleasant realization. "Amos is 17, you would think after living that long he'd be a better kisser." The image of the Hufflepuff prefect eating Violetta's face popped into Marci's head again and she almost fell out of her seat. Severus regarded the girls, and this new information, silently with raised eyebrows.

In a low deep voice, which seemed unnatural coming from a thirteen year old boy, he said, "I'm sure the headmaster is already aware of the coupling."

Marci snorted. "Coupling. Really, Severus. Can't you talk like the third year you are once in a while?" Severus ignored her again. "Whatever," Marci mumbled.

"Severus," Jeanne piped up, in one of her rare confrontations with the boy, "why are you always such a buzz kill?"

This caught his attention. "Excuse me, a what?" His voice had lost some of its deepness and was gearing more towards a normal octave for twelve year old boys.

"A buzz kill," Jeanne replied, superiorly. It wasn't everyday Jeanne knew something Severus didn't. "Someone who kills the mood, ruins a good time, puts a burden on others laughter." Jeanne raised her nose into the air in clear disapproval of Severus's disinterest in her juicy news.

"Well," Severus replied, "I would rather be a 'buzz kill', than stick my nose where it doesn't belong. Amos and Ms. Summers," Severus put an emphasis on Violetta's proper title, "is no one's business but their own, except perhaps the headmasters. But that is simply because she is under his tutelage."

"Yea but it still makes for some good conversation," Jeanne replied, a little put out. "Not to mention a good laugh." After she realized Severus wasn't going to go for the bait, she let out a little huff of defeat and turned back to Marci to resume their giggling.

It wasn't long after that that Madam Pince had come along and chased them out of the library for their "blatant disrespect of the sacred art of reading". It didn't matter that Severus was the perfect example of someone who respected "the sacred art of reading" and was perfectly quiet and on task. He was forever associated with the two giggling girls as they spent every day at the same table together. Madam Pince had threatened them with detention if they came back into the library again in the next seven days. So the trio had taken to studying in the empty class room that Jeanne and Marci had happened across Amos and Violetta's misdeeds. As it was the pair stumbled in on the trio studying, thinking the classroom was empty and ready for their rendezvous, twice that week.

October 31, 1973 --- Third Year, Halloween

Marci giggled as she remembered watching the surprise on Amos and Violetta's face as they had stumbled into the classroom, wrapped in each other's arms, only to find three tiny third years staring at them. The pair quickly backed out of the room without a word. Marci giggled over her textbook, rather wishing she could steal away with Jeanne for an adventure, or even with Severus, instead of sitting in front of a boiling cauldron.

Today's lesson was about finding substitute ingredients when you don't have exactly what you needed to complete a potion. You couldn't brew a very complex potion with these skills but if you ever needed a basic potion in an emergency, you could brew one without all the proper ingredients. Severus went through the basics of plant substitution in potions with Marci after she had finished reading the text, answering her questions with patience. Then he set her to her assignment and started on his own.

The potion Marci was to brew wasn't a glamorous one. It was used to ease the pain of urination when one had kidney stones, or a urinary tract infection. Marci wrinkled her nose in disgust when she read that. Many of the ingredients in this potion were about as glamorous as the potion's use: powdered armadillo liver, ground belladona root (which stunk to high heaven), and bat urine, among others.

The missing ingredient today was a single drop of dittany. Ultimately it was the ingredient that tied the other magical properties together, the ingredient that activated the whole potion. Without it the potion would be rendered useless and turn toxic.

Marci looked up in dismay. "Severus, this is ridiculous. The ingredient could be anything!" She let a whine creep into her voice on the last word.

Severus looked up from his potion, keeping his finger on his place in the text book. "You need to reason it out Marci, use your knowledge of Herbology to find a similar ingredient." He turned back to his potion.

Marci grinned from ear to ear. Severus just kept stirring his potion. He had given her a hint about where to find her new ingredient. "Thanks," she said absently.

"There's nothing to thank me for," Severus replied, starting to chop up frog heart. That just made Marci grin all the more. Severus was such a Slytherin, always going about things in a roundabout way.

Marci rummaged in her bag and gently laid her beloved dandelions on the work table, out of the way of spilling potions. Finally she found her Advanced Herbology text and dropped it on the work table, sloshing Severus potion. He scowled over at Marci, silently warning her to be careful.

His face dropped into blatant surprise for a second when he saw Marci's dandelions but he quickly shifted over into a mask of neutrality, as he was taking to more and more often. Marci was learning to take these moments in stride but she never stopped wondering what Severus was thinking behind his neutral mask. He so seldom spoke his mind.

Pulling out her book, Marci said, "Well, first I need to look up dittany and figure out its main properties." She looked to her friend and mentor for confirmation but he didn't say anything, or even acknowledge that she had spoken, although she thought she saw a hint of a smile playing at the boys lips. "Dittany, a plant with powerful restorative properties," she read out loud, "has many uses and comes in a number of forms. This flower is rare and expensive to buy. Most commonly found in the wizarding medical community, the plant can be soaked in solution to produce Essence of Dittany, a strong potion that will instantly grow scabs over any wound. It takes a huge amount of dittany to produce the smallest amount of Essence. The roots contain a very precious oil that when collected, through shredding, create a powerful anti-inflammatory." Marci thought for a moment, perhaps this was the property that she needed to harness. Most people wouldn't need to heal skin for a urinary tract infection or if they had kidney stones or gull stones. "Severus, that's it, isn't it?" she asked, waiting for validation. The boy, who was now drenched in sweat and stirring his potion vigorously, gave an almost imperceptible nod. Had Marci not known him so well, she would have missed it all together.

"Alright, now comes the hard part," Marci said, digging into the index of her book and looking up anti-inflammatory. Marci was sure her answer was within reach. Her face dropped. There were exactly six and one half pages of plants that contained an anti-inflammatory property of some kind or another.

Marci sighed, knowing she still had close to three hours to finish her assignment. That was more than enough time to get through the long list of plants that could possibly contain the solution to her problem. Slowly she started with the first plant on the list, carefully comparing its properties to that of Dittany. The first one obviously wouldn't work because not only was it an anti-inflammatory but it was also a deadly poison and Marci wasn't yet trained to counter act poison to gain access to the more useful properties of these types of plants. So she flipped to the next one. 'Breath, Dragons', or more commonly known as Dragon's Breath. That definitely wouldn't work as it singed your skin when you touched it.

Marci spent the next two hours dredging through her Herbology book. It seemed like it was a never ending processes of elimination. She had collected a few plants that may work for her purpose or may drastically alter the chemical components of her potion. She still wasn't convinced she had found the right and perfect plant yet. With every passing plant that failed to live up to her expectations, Marci got more and more frustrated. It seemed she'd never come to the end of the long list of anti-inflammatory plants. At the end of the Cs, and the first two pages, Marci threw her book to the ground.

Startled, Severus looked up. "Are you all right?" he asked, a quick look of concern playing across his face.

Frustration was seeping through Marci's every pore and Severus unconsciously took a step back from her. Marci relaxed a little when she realized she was freaking Severus out. "I'm sorry Severus. I hope I didn't ruin your potion," she said, waving her hand at his cauldron. He just shook his head no. "I just am so frustrated. I feel like this is a ridiculous task. Every plant I've researched is either poisonous, or is native to the plains of Wisconsin, or eats your face." The thought of Amos and Violetta crept into her head again and she let out a giggle, easing her tension. Her shoulders slumped forward and she sat down in defeat. "I just can't do it Severus. I think I'm just going to take a Troll on this assignment."

"Marci," Severus said firmly, coming up beside her, "you are anything but a troll so therefore you will not get a Troll on this assignment." His voice became softer and less academic. "Come on, you're the best herbologist in our year. Way beyond anyone else. Even ahead of me," he said, placing a hand on her shoulder. "You can do this. Stop looking at it from a potions point of view and try thinking through it from a different perspective." Severus glanced again at the dandelions and turned back to his potion.

Marci sat there for another ten minutes wallowing in self-pity but also reveling in Severus's compliment. He had never said anything like that about her before. He was right though, Marci was the best in Herbology, the best in the whole class. She was studying to take her NEWT (Nasty Exhausting Wizarding Test) in Herbology at the end of the term. She could thank her mother for that. Even though her mother was a Muggle, Nancy firmly believed that nature supplied the best remedies and had studied properties of plants, passing on her knowledge to Marci before the girl could even walk. Even Muggles knew plants held healing properties. Marci knew all the plants that healed cuts, pulled venom out of spider bites, and soothed a tummy ache. Her mother use to have her go out and collect dandelion leaves for tea when her brother suffered severe tummy aches. Marci picked up her dandelion bouquet and fondly pet the soft yellow flower. A thought came to her and she looked at her flowers more closely, they were leaking a small amount of very sticky sap where she had cut them from their stocks.

She gently placed her flowers down and jumped off her chair. Eagerly she picked up her Herbology book and flipped back to the index. Sure enough, dandelions were there under anti-inflammatory. She practically tore pages from the book to get to the right section, taking her finger, she scrolled along the page until she found what she was looking for.

There it was, a tiny note at the bottom of the profile on dandelions: "A fleeting property of the dandelion is that its milk can be used as an anti-inflammatory. Although this practice has long since been passed over since the process is long and tedious. For more information on milking a plant, please see page 394."

Marci let out a whoop of triumph. Luckily Severus had finished his potion during her wallowing session because at her outburst he sent it flying across the table in surprise.

Severus coolly scooped up his cauldron and placed it back on the table. "I take it you found what you were looking for?" His eyes bore into hers and he raised a single eyebrow. It looked like he was trying to hold back another smile, but Marci couldn't fully tell.

"I sure did," she said, holding up her wilted bouquet. "It was right in front of my nose, all along." Happily Marci started to unwrap her dandelions, preparing to extract the milk, completely ignoring the comment in the book that said the process was long and tedious. Severus grabbed them out of her hand.

"That is a poor choice," he said, sneering. "Did you even read the text on milking?" Shocked, Marci shook her head in bewilderment. Why had Severus become so angry all of a sudden? It wasn't like him to be grabby or pushy.

"No, I figured it isn't that hard, I just need to get the sticky stuff out, right?"

"No, milking is a delicate process. If you had put straight sap, squeezed from this plant, into that potion, you not only would have ruined it but it would have started giving off deadly fumes. You could have killed us both." Severus threw the dandelions down in front of her and turned away without another word.

Marci sat in bewilderment at Severus's behavior. Even he knew that milking wasn't taught in Herbology. It was a potions skill and only taught in Potions class. Although the Potions and Herbology world collided quite often, this particular skill was unique to brewing.

*~SP~*

Marci fumed throughout her next classes. She could not believe the nerve of Severus Snape. How dare he get so angry and take it out on her beloved dandelion bouquet; didn't he know how much it meant to her? He not only had disrespected her and her family tradition but he had also stormed out of the dungeons in a righteous fury. Leaving her to figure out how to milk a stupid plant on her own! As it was she had to go out and collect fresh dandelions and she had to go by herself! He knew she would need fresh flowers and he left her to collect them on her own. Sometimes that boy is a right git, Marci found herself thinking throughout the day.

After Double Potions, Marci and Jeanne stopped off for a bit of lunch in the Great Hall. Neither girl had spoken much. Marci was reminiscing over Severus's temper tantrum and Jeanne was pissed because she had literally melted her cauldron today in class. How she managed to mess up a simple shrinking solution, Marci had no idea. She just shrugged as Jeanne gave a rendition of her epic melt down which included a ball of flames shooting from her cauldron and hitting Avery square in the face. That did bring a smile to Marci's face. She disliked Avery almost as much as she disliked Sirius. Almost. At least the Slytherin boy, Avery, left her mostly alone, though he was terrifying and people said he liked to dabble in the Dark Arts.

After lunch the girls strolled out to Herbology. Seeing the green houses looming in the distance brought an unexpected joy to Marci's heart and her day improved. She loved digging her fingers into the soil and watching the plants lap up the water she gave them. Hopefully Professor Sprout would have something challenging, but rewarding, for Marci to do today. For the most part she had been swamped with essays that took her into the library to research exotic magical plants and their properties and how best to handle them. This was in preparation for her N.E.W.T. exam she would be taking in Herbology this year, alongside Severus' N.E.W.T in Potions. How the old professor had convinced the Headmaster to let her sit an N.E.W.T. in her third year, she did not know. Although she did know Severus was sitting his Potions N.E.W.T. as well that year. He had taken his O.W.L (Ordinary Wizarding Level) in Potions their first year as Marci had taken her O.W.L. in Herbolgoy.

As it was, Professor Sprout had Marci supervising her fellow Hufflepuffs while they pruned the Devil's Snare. This process was highly dangerous if one was alone as the plant would take one of its long tentacles and slowly start to crush you to death if it got a good grip. Luckily these particular plants were small and relatively harmless although if they got a good grip around your wrist or one of your fingers, they could break your bones and cut off circulation. With that in mind, Marci's job was to free any student who got too tangled up. As it was she had to cut out two Ravenclaws and five Hufflepuffs that day. One Ravenclaw girl, Ameri, had somehow managed to allow two of the Devil's Snare to get a hold of her and it seemed they were playing a sadistic game of tug-a-war with her. Of course the plants were not strong enough to pull the girl apart yet but Marci was sure she would be sore in the morning.

The rest of the day passed in a blur. Marci finished up helping with the pruning process and was sent off to research different types of wand wood and their magical properties, while the rest of the class got to weed the flower beds.

Divination passed without much thought and before Marci knew it she was headed down the stairs with Jeanne to get ready for the Halloween feast. As they walked down the tower Jeanne was bouncing on her toes talking a mile a minute about what she wanted to dress up as for dinner.

"I know we're not going trick or treating or anything," -Jeanne bumped off a hand rail and knocked into Marci's side- "but I just can't not dress up! Even though I grew up in the wizarding world, Mom always let me dress up for Halloween, it's tradition! Marci," Jeanne whined, giving her friend a very serious look, "you have to dress up with me. Do not leave me hanging." She stopped and stepped into an alcove, crossing her arms. "I am not moving until you agree to dress up tonight." Every year on Halloween, Marci got the same whining lecture from Jeanne on tradition and the importance of keeping with it. Jeanne didn't have to tell Marci about how important family tradition was but dressing up on Halloween was so childish, so Muggleish and every year the two girls got laughed out of the Great Hall. Marci wasn't looking forward to another Halloween in costume.

Marci sighed and looked at her best friend. "No Jeanne, were at Hogwarts now and wizards don't dress up for Halloween. We go through this every year."

"Well good thing we're witches then," Jeanne retorted, still giving Marci that stubborn look that said she wouldn't budge. Then she added, "And every year you acquiesce to my request." In that moment Jeanne really reminded Marci of Severus and his big words.

"Absolutely not, Jeanne, I refuse to look like an idiot in front of the entire school. Again."

"Why do you care so much? We're not exactly at the top of the popularity pole. Come on, Marc. Look at who we hang out with."

Marci looked around, almost as if she expected to see someone else.

"Exactly," Jeanne said. "It's me, you, and that Slytherin boy."

"That Slytherin boy has a name Jeanne."

"I know. But he never talks to me."

"That's a lie; he talked to you last time we were in the Library."

"Yeah, but he made me feel like an idiot," Jeanne said, indignantly.

"He didn't mean it like that. That's just the way Sev is."

"Oh, Sev is it now?" Jeanne sounded a little jealous.

"No, it's only Sev when he's not around. I would never call him that to his face."

"Good," Jeanne said, feeling a little better. "Now are you going to dress up with me or not?"

"I will if you acknowledge our Slytherin friend and say his name." Marci knew that Jeanne was jealous of the friendship between her and Severus. After all, they spent a good chunk of time alone together during Potions and often took to exploring the castle, especially the dungeons, together. Jeanne wouldn't venture down below the basement after their first day at Hogwarts. She said the dungeons were dangerous and unnatural. They frightened her but they intrigued Marci and she was glad to have a Slytherin to roam the corridors with.

"No," Jeanne said, stubbornly. For the life of herself, Marci couldn't figure out why Jeanne refused to say Severus's name but she just never did.

"Do it, or I'm not even coming to the feast."

"Uh-uh," Jeanne mumbled, shaking her head.

"Fine. I'm leaving and tonight at the feast I'm sitting with our Slytherin friend. At his table."

Marci pretended to step out of the alcove but before her foot hit the ground she felt Jeanne pull her back. A look of horror was on her friend's face. Jeanne was so gullible. It was obvious she had given in and was going to say Severus's name but before she could the two girls heard something else.

"Snivellus." It was Sirius Black. Marci's face flushed and her hands clenched into fists. She was ready to pummel Sirius. "That, my dear friend, is who we're pranking today."

James and Sirius were obviously making their way down from Divination as well. "Brilliant," replied James. "Maybe we should give him a bath, since he hasn't figured out how to turn on the showers in Slytherin."

"Do they even have showers in Slytherin?" asked Sirius. Both boys laughed and Marci heard the faint laughter of Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew.

Jeanne looked frightened and sank to the back of the alcove, hidding behind the statue there. Marci followed her, hoping to hear more of Sirius and James' plan. "That'll be a real laugh, fellas!" Peter squeaked, as the four passed the alcove. Marci saw James and Sirius strut by, superiorly walking in front of the other two. Lupin loped along behind and Peter absolutely scampered to keep up.

"Oh don't you worry, Peter. I've been planning this one for a while. It's going to be a prank of epic proportions. You can count on that. As for now, me and my fine friend here need to go do some plotting. Let's go Prongs." With that the boys disappeared down the stair well and Marci lost track of their voices.

Instinctively Marci hugged her friend, trying to sooth the other girl's fear. "Let's go Jeanne," she said, grabbing her best friend's hand. "Let's go get dressed up for Halloween."

*~SP~*

Once again, Jeanne had convinced Marci to dress up for Halloween, a tradition few Muggleborn students brought with them to Hogwarts. Mostly it was the first year students who dressed up for Halloween. After that, they realized that nothing good came from that tradition, at least not at Hogwarts. Jeanne unfortunately had never grown out of it. She didn't care what others thought of her and she enjoyed dressing up, so every year she dragged Marci up to the dormitories before the feast and fitted her in some ridiculous outfit. This year they were medieval courtiers.

Jeanne had Marci dressed up in a ridiculous purple gown with a full corset that threatened to crush her ribs. How Jeanne managed to find it at Hogwarts, Marci had no idea. Jeanne in turn was in a matching green one. They were "proper ladies" as Jeanne put it, but all that Marci was, was humiliated. Regardless of her internal shame, Marci marched up to the Great Hall for the feast with her head held high. There wasn't a thing that Marci wouldn't do for Jeanne.

When the duo got to the Great Hall, to Marci's dismay but not to her surprise, no one else was dressed up, not even a single first year. Jeanne didn't seem to notice. She elegantly picked up the hem of her skirt and floated into the Great Hall to find a seat at the Hufflepuff table. Heads turned as she walked by. Marci stared at her shoes and hurried after Jeanne.

Out of the corner of her eye Marci saw Sirius Black and James Potter mocking the two girls, pretending to prance around the Gryffindor table. Many of the other students were laughing at the two boys antics but others were shaking their head in disapproval. It looked like half the student body thought the two dressed up third years were adorable, mainly the female half. The other half were laughing their heads off. You would think after three years of seeing Marci and Jeanne dressed up for Halloween, people would get use to it but apparently that wasn't the case. Jeanne began to sit down at the far end of the table, with her back to the Gryffindors.

"No, Jeanne, let's sit over there," Marci said, pointing to the other end of the table. She grabbed her friend by the arm and hauled her to her feet before she could protest. "I want to sit where I can watch James and Sirius. I don't trust them not to kill Severus tonight, even if he was being a right git." After two years of Halloween at Hogwarts, Marci had learned that James and Sirius always planned something spectacular and it usually involved Severus.

"What do you mean? I thought you liked Severus," Jeanne piped up, crossing to the other side of the Hufflepuff table.

"I do, I like him very much but he was being kind of mean today." Marci didn't elaborate.

"Oh," was all Jeanne said, as she smoothed the folds of her gown.

The meal passed in relative normality. Marci thoroughly ignored Severus and kept her eyes on James and Sirius. She admired the delicate pumpkins set across the hall and the candles high up in the air. The scent of spiced pumpkin seemed to seep from the walls. It had followed Marci around all day. The professors never failed to put a lot of effort into decorating for a holiday. The castle was dressed in her best for the ancient Gaelic New Year.

Halfway through dessert, Marci saw James and Sirius give one another a look. James got up and walked around the Gryffindor table towards the opposite end of the Great Hall, toward the Slytherins. Before he could reach their table though, he made an abrupt right and walked right between the Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw tables. Marci didn't take her eyes off him for a moment. Had she looked away or even blinked, she would have missed James waving his wand under his cloak. He met up with Sirius at the doors and together they walked out.

Marci desperately looked around for Severus. There he was, smashed between Lucius Malfoy, the prefect, and Greg Goyle, a second year. Severus seemed to be concentrating on his plate, as if it were of the utmost importance. It was obvious something on it had caught his attention. He sat still and stiff for a good five minutes before heading out the door as well.

Marci scrambled from her seat, not even thinking about Jeanne, and trotted after Severus. Faintly she heard Jeanne questioning where she was going. When Marci stumbled through the heavy doors to the Great Hall, she stood in an empty Entrance Hall. She strained to hear any voices, any footsteps, to give her a hint of which way the three boys had gone. But silence rang through the castle. Thinking hard, Marci decided that James and Sirius wouldn't attempt anything in the dungeons. That was Severus's territory. So she started up the stairs, climbing towards the towers, wondering if the boys had lead Severus into some unused classroom. Again she stopped to listen. She heard nothing. Now she started to panic. This wasn't part of her plan. She wasn't supposed to lose Severus!

Marci climbed and climbed and climbed towards where she had heard the Gryffindor Common Room was. She flew past portraits and paintings that shouted out at her to slow down but she ignored their warnings. One particularly fat lady screamed in fear and spilled her mead as Marci raced past. Finally she hit the last landing of the tallest tower. There was nothing there but an empty platform and a huge round window with moonlight streaming through. She went to the window, desperate for another clue of where Severus was.

It didn't take her long to spot him. She saw three figures silhouetted against the glimmer of the lake. Two were obviously James and Sirius. The other was a boy she didn't know. He was short and scrawny, smaller even the Peter Pettigrew. Then a movement caught her eye and she turned her head in the other direction. Against the shadows of the trees of the Forbidden forest she saw him. Severus. Marci let out a sigh of relief and watched. Severus was safe for now. Hoping he would stay that way for a while she started to race down the stairs.

By the time she got to the Entrance Hall she was exhausted but she didn't stop to catch her breath. With all her might, she pushed against the doors leading to the Hogwarts grounds and started to run towards the Forbidden Forest, her dress billowing around her. She planned to drag Severus right back into the castle where he was safe and give him a lecture on following no good hooligans out of the castle at night. She was halfway between the Forest and the lake when she heard it: a gigantic splash and a scream of terror. She also heard two boys laughing, James and Sirius.

Without thinking, Marci took off in the direction of the lake. As she came up to the shore, she saw a small figure splashing in the water. Marci shoved Sirius to the ground on her way past him and dived into the water, swimming with all her might. Her water logged dress was heavy but she tried to ignore the weight and stay afloat, all the while cursing the corset that crushed her lungs.

Time seemed to stop for Marci. She could hear James and Sirius laughing even harder now and the distant sound of running feet. She could also hear a horrible gurgling sound coming from in front of her. It seemed to take forever but Marci finally reached the boy just as his head was slipping under the water.

"Oh no you don't!" Marci shouted, grabbing the boy's collar and pulling him upwards. As she got the boy's head above water, hers went under. She felt the boy latch onto her torso trying to use her as a floatation device. She couldn't hold his weight though and no matter how hard she kicked she couldn't get her head above the water. With all her might she grabbed the boy by the waist and launched him towards what she hoped was the shore. Luckily he was so small or Marci wouldn't have been able to throw him like she did. He lost his grip on Marci's shoulders and went flying but not before he kicked her in the gut. What little air Marci had left whooshed out of her lungs and she hung suspended in the water, gasping for breath and just swallowing more of the disgusting green water.

The next thing Marci knew she was gasping in air and her body was trying to clear the water from her lungs. Someone had grabbed her collar and was dragging her out of the lake. Her feet were slipping along in the deep mud and reeds. She tried to regain her balance. Whoever was dragging her along didn't seem to notice or care and just kept dragging her, eventually lifting her out of the water by her armpits. Her savior dumped her unceremoniously onto the grassy bank and she coughed up the last of the water. In the distance she could hear Sirius and James laughing and running back towards the castle.

"Glad you finally got a bath Snivellus!" Sirius called, as they ran up the steps to the Entrance Hall. The two boys disappeared into the glowing light of the castle.

"What were you thinking?" Severus raged. "You could have died!" He crossed his arms over his chest and glared down at Marci.

She stood up indignantly, her dress sopping wet, and took a step towards Severus, getting angry herself. "Well, someone had to save that poor boy from drowning! What were you thinking Severus Snape? That you were going to let James and Sirius kill him!" she yelled, pointing towards the shivering first year who still hadn't managed to cough up all the water in his lungs. "He was dying," she said acidly.

"So were you, in case you hadn't noticed," Severus spat. "Look at you, shivering and catching cold. For what? For him?" Severus said, his voice dropping an octave and becoming suddenly cold and distant. Without another word he waved his wand at Marci and her dress dried instantly and felt like it had come straight out of the dryer. She crossed her arms and pointedly looked at the other boy, not saying a word. After a few seconds Severus got what she was not saying and without taking his eyes off Marci he waved his wand in the boy's direction. Soon after, he stopped shivering as well. Neither Marci nor Severus spoke for a few moments.

"Go away," Severus said, just barely loud enough for the little boy to hear. He didn't have to be told twice. He took off towards the castle crying.

"What were you even doing here," Severus asked, his voice still dripping with disdain.

"Saving you, of course," Marci said, like that was obvious.

All the anger left Severus's face and his shoulders slumped. He dropped his arms to his side and balled his hands into fists.

"Obviously I wasn't the one who needed saving, Marci." His voice had returned to its normal tone but behind it Marci detected fear. What he was scared of though, she had no idea.

"Obviously." It was all Marci could think to say in the situation. Severus's emotions had changed so drastically and so quickly she didn't know what to make of them.

"What's wrong?" Marci asked, taking a step towards Severus and reaching her hand out, as if to comfort him. Abruptly, Severus shuffled two steps back. Marci's hand fell limp at her side.

"Nothing, what's wrong with you?" Severus spat defensively.

"Well, besides almost drowning, nothing," Marci said. "Except my friend is mad at me and I don't know why," she added quietly.

A pained look scampered across Severus's face. "I'm not mad at you," he said, looking at his shoes.

"Something is wrong Severus and I want to know what it is." Marci tried to imitate her mother's voice when one of her children had done something wrong. She wasn't completely sure she had pulled it off, though.

Severus looked up in surprise. Marci had never spoken to him like that. Jeanne was used to it, but it had taken Severus by surprise.

"You almost died," Severus mumbled, turning away from Marci, looking out at the Forest.

Marci sighed with impatience. "Severus, I know that. I get it, ok? You're mad I saved that other kid's life. Please let it go and tell me what's wrong."

"That is what's wrong."

Hearing that, Marci took a step to face Severus but he turned away again, hiding his face.

"Severus, please look at me," Marci pleaded. Severus turned to face her. He wasn't crying, but Marci thought she saw his eyes mist over.

"Marci, you don't understand," he said in an unsteady voice. "It's one thing when James and Sirius tease me. It's a whole other thing entirely when they drag you into it." His voice became steadier and filled with anger. He looked off towards the castle.

"No one dragged me into this. I came here for you. I chose to be here with you. Can't you see that?"

"Well, you shouldn't have," Severus snapped as he started to walk back towards the castle, leaving Marci by the lake. She ran towards him and grabbed his shoulder, spinning him around.

"Don't you walk away from me! Not now Severus. We always talk about me, my house, my mom, my cat but we never talk about you. Now I want to talk about you. Can't you please talk to me?" Marci pleaded.

"No," he replied, all emotion gone from his voice. "There's nothing to talk about."

Marci's heart fell, why wouldn't he talk to her? How could Severus listen so intently when Marci was homesick or was particularly hurt from one of Sirius's more cruel jokes and yet when he was the one hurting her, he refused to discuss it.

Quietly Marci said, "I only came out here to help you, Severus. I was worried about you."

She still had hold of Severus's shoulder and she felt his muscles tense. Suddenly, Severus's arm came up and shoved Marci's hand away.

"Well next time, don't. I don't need your help, Marcella. I don't need anyone's help!" Severus started to walk away as a tear slipped down Marci's cheek. He had never been rough with her, nor had he ever used her full name. It was obviously meant to be condescending. She wiped away the tear angrily and ran after him again. This time she shoved him from behind. Instinctively he turned around and whipped out his wand, pointing it straight at Marci's heart.

"Everyone needs help sometimes Severus!" Marci yelled. "Even you," she added, more calmly but no less hurt. "When you care for someone, that's what you do, you help them and you're there for them when they need you. And right now I need you; I need you to help me understand why you're acting this way."

Severus opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but the words got caught in his throat. Shaking his head he walked away.

"That's right Severus, walk away, walk away like you did today in class. Walk away like you always do when I need you. Just go!" This time Marci turned away stalking off towards the lake. She hastily sat down on the hard, packed soil and let the water lap at her shoes. Her tears flowed freely now as she thought Severus would have made his way back to the castle.

A few minutes later she heard someone sit down quietly next to her and put their arm around her shoulder. She shrugged it off but the arm found its place around her shoulders again.

"Sev, go away," she whined.

"No, I won't go away. Not if you need me," he said quietly. Severus took a deep breath and his whole body shuttered. "No one has ever cared for me," he whispered, his voice breaking. "No one has ever helped me, except for Lily, and you."

Marci turned away. "I've never seen Lily Evans help you."

"She was the only friend I had before I met you, before I came to Hogwarts. She was the first person who ever cared if I lived or died. You don't just forget someone like that."

"Even when they are ashamed of you just because of where the Sorting Hat put you?"

"Lily isn't ashamed of me, she's scared."

Marci snorted. "Scared of what?"

Severus looked at Marci and raised his eyebrows. "Aren't you ever scared of me?"

Marci didn't hesitate. "No. Never," she said, confidently.

"Are you ever scared of my house mates?"

Marci looked away, out across the lake. It was hard for her to admit that she was scared of anything, let alone anyone. She wasn't easily intimidated but if she were honest with herself she would say that a few of the older Slytherins did scare her. She didn't like the way they looked at her or the way they sneered at other Muggle-born students. She'd seen some of the older Slytherin students attack younger, Muggle-born students. They weren't the typical hexes one threw in the hallway, like Bat-Bogie hexes. They were malicious and verged on dark magic.

Marci just shook her head. She wasn't ready to admit this fear to anyone, even Severus. She knew not to let people see her fear or they would take advantage of it. So she buried it deep inside her mind behind her courage and fierce loyalty.

Marci wasn't sure if she fooled Severus or not, but he just replied, "Lily is. She can't hide her fear like you can. So she stays away. She's afraid I'll become one of them, let them influence me for the worst. Lily doesn't understand though. I've seen what those kids will become. I grew up with its repercussions." Severus took another shuttering breath and braced himself. "My mom's family, the Prince family, they were dark. I don't know what they did to her but I know what it's done to me. There's no love lost for me with her. I don't even know why my mother kept me after I was born."

Marci let out a cry. "Oh Sev, don't say that!" She laid her hand on his knee.

"No Marci, don't feel sorry for me. Just know that I have never had someone love me and I have never cared for anyone besides myself. I couldn't, not where I came from. Not if I wanted to survive. I've never known how to love anyone but myself. I'm sorry I hurt you tonight. I want to be as good a friend to you as you are to me but I've never known how to do that. Logically, I'm going to make some mistakes." At this point Severus grabbed Marci's hand that was on his knee and looked straight into her eyes. "So please, bear with me as I struggle through learning how to be someone's friend, how to really treat them how they deserve to be treated."

Marci was at a loss for words. Severus had never opened up this much about his home life or about his feelings. Marci knew it was hard for him. She squeezed his hand to reassure him she understood.

"There's nothing you can do, Severus, to make me not be your friend. I'll always be here for you. I'll struggle through your mood swings, your temper tantrums and your silent treatments as long as you always come to talk to me, eventually, when you're ready. I'll wait. I may be upset or moody myself while I wait, but I'll never turn my back on you. I promise."

Severus just shook his head and pulled his hand out of Marci's. They sat in silence for a while.

"You and Lily," Severus's voice cracked again, "you're all I have. I can't imagine losing either of you."

"You won't have to. I'm not going anywhere at least." Marci leaned into his side and took a deep breath. It was the first time she had noticed that he smelled of cloves and fresh mint.