Shadows Of Light

I got a bowling ball in my stomach...

Red eyes stared back at him. He couldn't look away. They were eating him up, swallowing his soul-

Something waved between them, breaking the trance and the eyes looked away. He closed his eyes again.

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Hermione's broken body was staring up at him from a river of blood. He walked on, unable to stop and stare at just one face, even if she was one of his best friends.

As he walked, he passed them all: Neville, Ginny, Dean, Luna, Remus, Seamus, Sirius, Tonks, McGonagall, Snape, Hagrid, Dobby....

Their faces started to blur, but one was missing. Where was his partner? His brother in life or in death? Harry started running.

Where was Ron?

Red hair and a face of freckles smiled at him from the head of the river. A sword hung from one hand, covered in blood. And Draco was running at Ron, crying out in pain. Crying, and crying, and crying, and crying....

Ron cut off Draco's head.

...and crying, and crying, and crying...

Ron smirked at him. 'I kill for you, my brother.'

'NO!'

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Voldemort stood over him, blood running down his arm from his hand, which was held up high in the air. He smirked down at him. 'Now I have won your heart, dearest one. Our love is complete.' Voldemort held down his hand, and his heart was in it. Pulsing.

His chest hurt. His vision was failing.

'No, please don't kill me off, my love...'

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Moody stood behind him and it HURT. He screamed.

Moody laughed and wrapped the whip around his throat, used it to force his head back, to kiss him with scarred lips.

He was a Gryffindor, but he knew the meaning of a good cry. But this wasn't a good cry, it was a prolonged sob. It was a ripping, shredding sort of thing.

'Don't tell Albus, but I know you'd never go Dark. I just wanted you for myself.'

And the crying hurt more than the whipping and the raping and the words. Because he didn't cry. Crying was forbidden for worthless freaks. Worthless, ugly, no-good, too thin-

'I'm sure Albus knows that, of course. I mean, you know him. How he is.'

-freak. Disgusting. Not fit for the sewers. Wouldn't last long down there anyway. Should have been drowned. Pity he hadn't died with his parents.

'You are a lovely boy, you know. Just the perfect size. And thin, too. I like them thin, you know.'

FREAK!

'Now, why don't you just go back to sleep, pet. I'm sure your dreams are waiting for you...'

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Remus was...

Remus was raping Moody as a werewolf. But why? He'd done right. He'd punished the freak.

'Because he loves you.'

He turned. Neville was asking his plants to rub up against Moody. Poisonous. But Moody hadn't hurt him that very much...

'He loves you too.'

He turned again. Luna was offering Albus a radish. He saw the poison laced through it and her smile was too bright, too focused. But...he'd only given Moody his prize.

'As does she.'

He glanced over his shoulder. Dobby was cooking. He swore he saw a wooden leg and a roving eye in the pot. And who would that be fed to?

'He will feed it to those who have hurt you.'

He blinked. Seamus and Dean were sitting in a bar with Hermione. They cast curses at her, burned her. But, she was his friend!

'She turned on you while you were in need. They care for you too much to let her live without thought.'

He fell to his knees. Ron's bloody hand reached down to him and he took it, allowed himself to be pulled up. He was hugged by his brother and saw those who had gotten revenge on others for him behind Ron, covered in blood and smiling at him.

'And he loves you so much he'd disobey my every order, just for you.'

Everything faded and only Voldemort remained.

'And I love you so much, that I'll let him.'

-~/\~-

Harry woke to pain, but it wasn't the burning pain of the whip or rape or a knife or-

"Mate?"

Harry jerked in surprise, then let out a hiss as his back flamed up. "Ron?"

"Lie still, Harry. You're still healing," Ron replied, smoothing out the blankets over him calmly.

Harry glanced around. The stone walls of the room reminded him of Hogwarts, but the air felt wrong - it wasn't as playful. There was a torch flickering over his head and Harry briefly wondered what they'd do if he'd had epilepsy, but didn't bother following the line of thought. Another torch flickered near the wall and another next to a full-length mirror that hung from the wall next to a tall wardrobe. Tapestries of forests and fields covered the walls to turn the room a pleasant green and blue and brown. The bed was softer than his one at home - which was saying a lot, since Harry had bought it because it was the softest bed in the store - and had silk sheets and a fat quilt.

Harry decided he liked the quilt. It was a pale blue that matched the colour scheme of the room and kept the green from getting out of hand. Not that Harry didn't like green, he was just sick of it all the time, since everyone seemed to think he looked really good in it. There is such a thing as too much green, you know, he informed his mental Molly Weasley. She just smiled at him knowingly and held up another green shirt for him to try on.

"Mate? You okay?"

"Hm?" Harry glanced up absently. "Oh, yeah. Fine."

"Sure thing." Ron didn't look like he believed him.

Harry sighed, then realized that he wasn't with Moody. "Where's Mad-Eye?" Was it all a bad dream?

Ron's face turned ugly and Harry got a bad feeling that everything with Moody had actually happened. "Don't know exactly, but not anywhere near us."

Harry sighed and rubbed at his eyes, ignoring his back's complaints at his mild movement. "So it wasn't a dream."

"More like a nightmare," Ron replied, gaze dark. "I'm going to kill Moody next time I see him."

"No! You'll be hunted down like some animal!" Harry briefly considered struggling to get up, but his back gave a sharp veto to the idea and he didn't have the strength to fight back.

Ron stared at him. "I already am. Dumbledore knows that Remus and I weren't at the Order meeting - and from what Draco said, you and we were the only ones missing - and when Moody got back from the meeting, you were gone. I'm the most likely culprit, anyway, since I've been pestering Dumbledore non-stop about you since you disappeared two weeks ago."

Harry felt like he couldn't breath for a moment and fought against the universe to get his next words out, "How long was I gone?"

Ron narrowed his eyes. "Two weeks. You don't remember it?"

Harry shook his head and took a deep breath - he'd need it. "No. I- They- Uhm...Moody kept me under the influence of some sort of drug for most of the time and would only wake me in fits and starts." Ron was nodding, as if he knew something. "Yes?"

"The drug, it was Alptraum Urheber. Some Dark potion created by a German. Ask Draco, he's got almost as good a brain as Granger for things like that."

Harry blinked. "Er, Ron? Hermione?"

Ron scowled. "She decided that you'd just disappeared off on one of your usual disappearances when we all got together to discuss where you'd gotten to."

Harry couldn't help the wry smile that tugged his lips. "I would have thought the same thing, you know."

"No, you would have just told us where you were, since you're you," Ron shot back.

Harry laughed for a brief moment, then winced. "Aw, for fuck's sake."

Ron snorted faintly. "Yeah, your back looks like shit there, mate. I saw it while Livingstone was dressing it. Draco made me go to bed right after that, though, but he told me later that there was more. You feeling okay? I can call Livingstone if it's too bad...?"

Harry shook his head. "I'll be fine. But, Ron, where are we?"

Ron froze for a moment, then gave Harry a wary look. "Promise you'll listen all the way through before you start yelling?"

Harry's eyes narrowed of their own vocation. "What foolish thing have you done this time, Ron?" He worked really hard to get a touch of playfulness in his voice, but he knew it was far over-shadowed by the seriousness.

Ron scowled. "Oh no you don't! It wasn't totally my fault! Mum and Dad made the choice way before I was born! Don't you go pinning this one on me!"

Harry crossed his arms over chest and gave his best friend, almost brother, and auror partner a cold look. "This had better be good."

Ron visibly restrained himself from punching Harry and rationalized that his friend was irritable because he was in pain and he'd likely just woken from more nightmares. With a heavy sigh, he meet the darkened jade eyes evenly. "All of the Weasley family - except Ginny - are members of Lord Voldemort's Inner Circle."

Harry just stared at him for a long moment, then whispered, "So we're in Voldemort's base?"

Ron relaxed slightly. "Yes."

"I see."

There was a long silence, during which Ron relaxed even more, occasionally shooting looks at Harry, who hadn't moved from his demanding posture.

Just as Ron was deciding that Harry had taken the news remarkable well, he heard a hiss from Harry and looked over fearfully.

Harry's eyes had started glowing - which only happened when he was truly pissed - and had turned 'Avada Kedavra' green. He was speaking soothingly in Parseltongue, but Ron got up out of his chair and backed up a couple feet anyway. He'd only seen Harry this angry once before, and the resulting explosion had nearly destroyed the Minister's office.

"Uhm, Harry, please..."

"You work for the man who killed my family and wants me dead," Harry said softly.

"Well, you see..."

"You've brought me into his home so I could be healed, then tortured again and killed. Don't worry, Ronald, I see."

Ron felt like Harry was towering over him, even though his friend was still lying in bed. It was the glowing eyes and the faint hissing sound that slid through his too-soft voice. "...Harry..."

"I knew you always wanted fame, Ronald, but this is going just a bit too far, don't you think?"

Ron jerked back, as if he'd been slapped, then narrowed his eyes and did a foolish thing.

He retaliated.

"At least I don't go seeking attention in every form possible like a common whore. Oh! My bad. That's what you are. I forgot! Silly me!"

The ground exploded at Ron's feet and he cowered, bravery forgotten in the face of Harry Potter, who could kick his arse any day without even trying.

"Excuse me? I'm a what now?" Harry inquired, pulling himself from the bed.

Ron let out a hiss and gave up, running forward to push Harry back on the bed. "Don't you get out of that bed!"

"I'll get the fuck out if I fucking want to, you fucking bastard! And get your fucking hands off me!!" Harry shouted, finally sounding like the normal angry Harry, rather than the deadly one.

"I'll tie you to this fucking bed if I fucking have to, damn you! Now stay in it!"

"Kinky," offered a voice from the door.

"Mind if we join in?"

Harry's face lost all it's colour and Ron turned with his wand out. "Venter Extorqueo," he intoned without preamble.

George whimpered and grabbed at his stomach painfully. Fred immediately pointed his wand at Ron, who had turned his wand on him. "I'm going to kill you, little brother," Fred warned.

Ron sneered. "Why? Was my warning not adequate? You will leave Harry alone or else. How much clearer do I need to be? Is it clear yet? You leave my best mate alone and I promise not to curse you."

Harry shuddered at the coldness in his friend's voice and only a little warmth came to him when he acknowledged that Ron was threatening his elder brothers for him. Still, Ron was kind of scary.

"I'm going to rearrange your face, you little bastard!" Fred spat.

Ron shrugged. "Feel free to do whatever you'd like to me after my meeting with our Lord. But leave Harry alone."

Fred bared his teeth in response and leaned over to check on his twin.

Ron glanced back at Harry and smiled faintly. "I've got a report to make, so I'll be gone for a bit. If they start to pester you, feel free to hex them. Your wand's in the normal spot."

Harry darted his hand under his pillow and fought back a sigh of relief as he felt the familiar stick of holly. He nodded to Ron and his friend's smile widened before he turned back to the door and slipped past his elder brothers into the hallway beyond.

-~/\~-

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