Lily You

August 30, 1977

My dear love,

How I wished that this day would never come. Every day I miss you more and more, but then I ask myself 'why should I miss you?' for you were never mine. I know I made a fool of myself while in your presence in the past, I know, but I am very sorry. Terribly and truly sorry. I am sorry for everything I have ever done. For you, I wore my heart on my sleeve for three years, trying to show you what I felt for you; what I loved to feel for you. I always did try to impress you, but now I figured out what went wrong. What I did wrong....

I was a child back then, and did not realize that hexing people in the corridors just for the fun of it would not impress you, but instead annoy you greatly. This clearly wasn't the best way for you to fall for me, but I did. I fell flat on my face for you, figuratively and literally alike, and believe me, I tried my hardest not to. But, once again like in our Third year, you beat me. I could not possibly take you out of my mind nor my heart after that incident even though I tried to for your welfare. And slowly but steadily, I began to love you when I turned fourteen years old. That day I remember me dreaming of you and how you had become my girlfriend; I remember you loved me more than life itself.

I actually thought I would never be able to love you more than I did back then, but I had been mistaken the thousandth time in regard to you and your gorgeously beautiful self. Way mistaken.... My nights were always filled with thoughts of you; never off my mind or heart you were. I love you so much it hurts.

I realize now why the phrase 'Love is pain and pain is love' is just so damn popular. Forgive my swearing darling, but I am very distressed with the current events. You must have heard what happened to my parents, but I don't want to talk about this, for you will believe it an excuse or a compromise for you and me both.

As I was saying, I now know why the phrase is so popular. It hurts me to love you for you don't look at me the way I look at you. You just believe me to be an arrogant, self- centered prat. But I am not that. I am sure that it also hurts you for me to love you when you do not clearly feel that same way about me.

Now, as I mentioned before, I am sure you don't love me, and I accept that fact with full responsibility and consciousness. I know that I am just a stupid little person who you don't give a bloody flinch about. Look, I'm not a perfect person. I know that. I've done many things I wish I didn't do, but I continue learning. Believe me, I wish I didn't do those things to you. It's something I must live with every day. I found a reason for me to change whom I used to be; a reason to start over new, and that reason is you. Lily you, my love.

I love you so much, Lily Anne Evans, that I don't want to hurt you. I am positive that I hurt you by bothering you with this worthless love in your respective point of view. I will keep on changing for the better, but for my own self-improvement. It might sound way out selfish to you, knowing you as I do, but it is the only way you may possibly see what you could have had in the palm of your hand: eating whatever you gave me, doing whatever you ordered me to, all these past years.

Because I love you much more than the length of your arms can extend, I will let you go to be free and pursue what you wish, what you like. You will not hear another dating proposal coming from my mouth directed towards you ever again in your whole entire life or even what is left of it.

Forget about anything that might have been between us. Good luck in life and bless you for eternity.

Goodbye Lily Anne Evans, my love. Goodbye forever.

Forever yours no more,

with my deepest love and regret,

James Harold Potter