Bringing Up Tommy Riddle

Bringing Up Tommy Riddle

The small group Apparated into the cavernous room, glancing about in the musty darkness. Lord Voldemort strode from the midst of his most loyal Death Eaters, giving the room an appraising look before turning back to the others, who cowered respectfully as was customary.

"Yes, this will do nicely," Voldemort mused aloud, turning around and reexamining the room. The Death Eaters relaxed. "This is the Orphanage where I grew up. Since my father's house is no longer available to us, we shall make do with what we have here."

He spun back suddenly, positive that he was going to catch one of the Death Eaters staring disrespectfully, or something. But they were all bowed submissively. Sycophantic twats, he thought grumpily. How am I supposed to practice my impressive evilness if they're more interested in rotting wooden planks? Scowling, he continued his little discourse, thankful for all those public speaking lessons he had taken at that deportment school in Switzerland.

"These are to be our new headquarters," he announced. "From here, I will launch my plan to bring about the downfall of Hogwarts, that little twit Harry Potter, and that fool Dumbledore, then take over England, and then...THE WORLD! Mwahahahaha!"

His impressively evil laugh was cut short by a voice from the doorway.

"Tommy? Is that you? Little Tommy Riddle?" asked the high pitched voice. A figure moved forward from the deeper shadows, revealing it to be a tiny old woman with long, silver-white hair.

"I'd recognize that laugh anywhere! You were the only three-year-old I ever came across who had already developed an evil laugh," the old woman declared proudly. She pulled an old pair of glasses from the pocket of her faded floral dress and put them on before moving further into the room.

Voldemort watched in silent dismay as the wizened old woman approached slowly, leaning heavily on a carved cane.

"So, you've come back to visit, have you? I must say, it's about time. How many years has it been, Tommy?" she asked, peering thoughtfully into Voldemort's hooded face.

Voldemort noticed that several Death Eaters had lost their terrified, subservient looks and had replaced them with vague astonishment and amusement.

"Do not dare speak to me, Muggle woman!" he finally declared loudly, pleased as the Death Eaters regained their old expressions immediately. He drew himself up proudly, confident of his impressive evilness. "I am..."

"In dire need of a lesson in manners, young man," she interrupted, pursing her lips in disapproval, utterly oblivious to Voldemort's impressive evilness. "To start with, take that ridiculous looking hood off. How many times have I told you not to wear hats indoors?" she said disapprovingly, not waiting for any response as she reached up and yanked Voldemort's hood back. He stood frozen in shock. "And that goes for the rest of you too," she added forcefully, watching beadily as each of the Death Eaters, bewildered, pulled back their hoods.

"That's better. I can see all your lovely faces now," the old lady commented happily. She turned back to Voldemort and frowned darkly. "And don't you call me Muddle, Tommy, or whatever it was you said. That's impolite. Never had any respect for his elders and his betters, this one," she complained to one of the Death Eaters. The Death Eater started to nod sympathetically, but glanced at his Dark Lord and stopped abruptly.

Voldemort gave up with trying to stress to this woman just how impressively evil he truly was, and released a sigh of impatient exasperation. "Who are you, old woman?" he demanded, clearly frustrated.

The old woman hefted a hand onto her hip, obviously displeased. "Oh, that's a nice way to talk to your former teacher, and the woman who raised you practically single-handedly," she said grumpily. "It wasn't an easy job either, bringing up little Tommy Riddle," she commented to the side, before continuing her tirade. "No, don't worry! You go off and conquer the world, like you always said you would. Never mind about little old Susan Taylor, she can take care of herself!"

"Susan Taylor?" Voldemort looked astonished, examining the woman again, this time with open-mouthed shock. Or, more likely, it was horror.

"That's Miss Suzie to you, young man. Or do you need to have Time Out in order to remember the rules?" she asked sharply, poking her finger into his chest.

Voldemort look mildly abashed. "No," he muttered dourly.

"No what?" she quizzed sharply.

Voldemort looked positively sulky. "No, Miss Suzie," he corrected himself obediently.

Miss Suzie gave a firm nod. "That's more like the boy I brought up. Obedient and well-mannered," she said approvingly, glancing around at the Death Eaters, who weren't cowering nearly enough for Voldemort's liking.

"Interesting friends you have here, Tommy," she said cagily, shooting each of the Death Eaters a swift, appraising look.

"They're not my friends, Miss Suzie," Voldemort said sullenly. "They are my evil servants who rush to carry out my malevolent bidding."

"That's nice, Tommy dear," she said, clearly paying him no attention whatsoever, as she moved to the nearest Death Eater, examining him shrewdly. "This one needs a hair cut, though," she commented dryly, taking in the long, blonde hair of Lucius Malfoy. Lucius scowled darkly and pulled his wand out, only to be struck down by a stern glare from Miss Suzie.

"We'll have none of that, young man," she said sternly, making him cringe under her imperious stare. "Just because you think you can go prancing about, doing as you please, does not mean that I will tolerate that kind of impertinence," she went on, wagging a finger at him. "Shame on you for even thinking of hurting a defenceless old woman! I think that you need to go and stand in the corner and think long and hard about what you've done. Go on, then!" she ordered, pointing to the corner with her finger when Lucius stood stock still. He threw a desperate look at Voldemort before Miss Suzie cut in once more.

"And don't try tossing that pitiful little look at Tommy, because it won't work. If I didn't let Oliver Peterson come out of the corner because he was having an asthma attack, I certainly won't allow you to escape simply because you feel a little precious! Into the corner!" she repeated resolutely.

Lucius set his jaw sulkily and slunk to the corner, muttering under his breath and twisting his Pimp Cane in his fingers.

"I don't approve of these friends of yours, Tommy," Miss Suzie commented darkly, her gaze fixed on Lucius slouching in the corner. "No manners whatsoever. Where on earth did you pick them up?"

"I didn't pick them up anywhere, Miss Suzie. And they are not my friends. They are my evil minions - they cower in my presence!" he announced hotly. "Cower, dammit!" he hissed at the Death Eaters, who shied away in the appropriate manner.

"Of course they are, Tommy," she said in an indulgent tone, patting Voldemort on the arm. "Now come and tell me all about what you've been doing with yourself. You should have told me that you were planning on visiting, I would have baked those rainbow biscuits you liked so much." She led Voldemort to the tattered sofa. "Never mind. Would you like a cup of tea, Tommy? Perhaps one of your friends would be kind enough to make some for us all."

"Yes, Miss Suzie," Voldemort said meekly. He turned to Wormtail. "Tea!" he barked. Wormtail jerked his head and turned towards the kitchen. Voldemort turned back to see Miss Suzie glaring at him darkly.

"Tom Marvolo Riddle, I am shocked and surprised!" she scolded. "Is that any way to speak to your friend? Where was the 'please'? This isn't the way I brought you up! Stop right there!" The last comment was directed at the departing Wormtail, who obediently froze and turned around.

Voldemort looked taken aback. "Miss Suzie," he explained. "Wormtail is my servant; I don't need to be polite to..."

"Don't need to be polite? Tom Riddle, you will apologise to this young man and ask him politely, or you will be in a lot of trouble! Dark Lord or not, you are not so big that I can't take you over my knee and give you a good smack!" She glared fiercely at Voldemort, who finally relented.

"Yes, Miss Suzie," he muttered sulkily, turning his gaze to a bemused Wormtail. Voldemort shot him a 'you-will-pay-for-this-later' look. "Wormtail, I'm sorry. Now, go and make some tea. Please." Wormtail scurried out and Miss Suzie seemed to be appeased.

"Now Tommy," she said settling back into the sofa. "Tell me all about what you've been doing. I expect you have a large family by now. He always wanted lots of children," she added for the Death Eaters' benefit. Voldemort shot death stares at those who dared to snigger.

"Actually, Miss Suzie, I don't have a family. Work takes up most of my time," he commented, belatedly realizing that he sounded like a pathetic, middle-aged insurance salesman. Miss Suzie agreed.

"Dear, dear Tommy, you sound like a middle-aged insurance salesman!" she exclaimed. "I would have hoped that you would have put some time aside for yourself to have a family."

"I'm a Dark Lord, Miss Suzie. I had to make a few sacrifices," he said. "Besides, you can never be sure if the woman is interested in you or your..." he cut himself off, noticing the ill-suppressed laughter of the Death Eaters. He glared nastily at them.

"Nonsense, Tommy. Look at your friends here. I'm sure that some of them are married." She looked around to the nodding Death Eaters. Lucius piped up from the corner.

"I'm married. I have a son as well, called..."

Miss Suzie cut him off abruptly. "Shush, you. You're not allowed to speak during Time Out."

"But..." Lucius stuttered.

"But nothing, young man. And because you did it twice, you can bring me that cane you've been playing with," she said decisively, holding out her hand.

Lucius paled with horror. "No, please Miss Suzie," he begged, clutching the Pimp Cane tightly to his chest. "I'll be good, I'll..."

Miss Suzie was unimpressed. "Bring it here now."

Lucius appealed to Voldemort. "My Lord, please, not my cane, I beg of you..." he implored. Voldemort intervened, feeling sympathetic for Lucius, who really had no idea what he was up against in Miss Suzie.

"Miss Suzie, he promised to be good, couldn't you just..."

"No, I could not, Tom," she said firmly. "And if you keep going, you'll be joining him!" Having silenced Voldemort, he returned her glare to Lucius. "Bring it here this instant, young man," she commanded.

Lucius shuffled forward resentfully, pouting as he handed over his beloved cane. "And now back to the corner with you." He glowered morosely at her before returning to his corner.

"Honestly Tommy," Miss Suzie said, "that friend of yours is most impolite." She smiled sweetly as Wormtail returned with a large tray containing the tea things. "Thank you, young man," she said to Wormtail, as she started to pour the tea.

Silence reigned for a few moments and Voldemort cherished them, fully aware that they wouldn't last. He was right.

"I don't like these new clothes of yours, Tommy," she commented as she passed out the filled tea cups to the Death Eaters, who each muttered a deferential 'Thank you, Miss Suzie.' "When did you start dressing like this?"

"When I started choosing my own clothes, Miss Suzie," Voldemort replied, sipping his tea too quickly and thus burning his tongue.

"Ahhah! See, this is what happens when we let you young people run amok! I don't like these robes, Tommy, they really don't suit you. You should wear more pink, it'll bring out the colour in your eyes. And such lovely eyes too," she added kindly, before continuing to scorn his choice in clothes. "These robes are far too dark and depressing. Don't slurp, dear," she added to a Death Eater standing close by.

"I'm a Dark Lord, Miss Suzie," Voldemort replied. "This is a look that works for me. My PR man said so."

"Oh, oh!" Miss Suzie exclaimed dramatically. "Mr. Big-Shot thinks that some random Public Relations man knows better than his old teacher and nurse!"

"I never said that..." he tried to defend himself, but was cut off when Miss Suzie let out a small shriek of delight.

"I know!" she cried, a delighted smile creasing her worn features. "We'll find that smashing little sailor suit that you always looked so handsome in. It'll be a little on the smallish side, but I'm sure we can find some way to make it fit again," she said, turning to the other Death Eaters. "He was such a cute baby! I think I still have some pictures somewhere around here. Come with me!" she declared, standing and tromping out of the room, followed by the dumbfounded crowd of Death Eaters.

Voldemort glanced over at Lucius, still sulking in the corner and heard Miss Suzie call out, "Come on, now Tommy, we need to find that adorable little suit!"

Voldemort stood in the centre of the room and bellowed. "I am the most powerful Dark Wizard in a century! I am the last heir of the great Salazar Slytherin! I will not wear a sailor suit!"