At Any Moment II

Minerva I

12 months later...

It doesn't feel like it's been all that long ago since I opened you up, but just as each day passes in the blink of an eye, it's a year to the day since the despicable waste of life that occurred on these...now peaceful grounds. No one, save those of us who lived through it, would be able to tell where we were standing on that day, but the sense of wonderment over the great expanse of open air in front of the castle, has now given way (in my memory, at least) to the screams and torment of that day. It's as though the very souls - or whatever - of those who died have never really left the place. Albus in his usual smug way said that I should ask you for the answers, but I've had a hard enough time picking up various threads of my life that unravelled on that day. Looking elsewhere for answers was the least of my concerns.

I have only a vague recollection of the battle against Grindelwald. I was young and in love at the time and that battle didn't take place on my very doorstep. I'm glad of that in a way, for unlike Albus, I don't have to sit down and try and work out if I missed something I should have seen. Oh, he hasn't said anything, of course, but I do know him well enough to know that the odd wistful look that appears on his face is when he thinks to remind someone of something and then realises that he can't. It's his own particular way of remembering. I suppose he could have connections in some instances, but then that would make him truly omnipotent and he is anything but all knowing and all seeing!

That thought alone is ludicrous, but I do wonder at the sheer audacity to use Riddle's craving for renown against him. A prophecy; a false prophecy no less, laid out where he knew it would be found and a few words whispered around false friends...and it was done. Deceptively bright of him to use such a ploy and though he seemed calm at that odd 'meeting' in the Staffroom, I know that he was anything but calm. It all hinged on one small parcel of misinformation, and had Riddle not believed that one piece of nonsense, things might just have been much worse.

I dread to think how much worse it could have been...

Not that it wasn't as bad as I imagined it. It was worse in so many ways that it's hard to count them up. From that moment when Albus dropped the idea of Severus, Miss Granger and myself being, 'keys' to some unbidden gift, as absurd as that sounds, my world shifted at that very moment. I felt like a pawn. I felt like the pawn Severus has no doubt felt all these years. I know I looked at Albus as though he'd betrayed me, and he had in a roundabout sort of way. We've always based our relationship on trust. It was as though he didn't trust me with a secret of such epic proportions that to lay it out so baldly really was an oversight on his part. I suppose that what hurt more was that he knew all about you, Arcanus, and yet you didn't think to trust us with that knowledge. I laid my soul out on that parchment, as I've no doubt Hermione and Severus did, judging by the looks of unadulterated shock on both their faces. I wish; with the benefit of hindsight, that he'd thought to take the three of us aside and tell us first.

I'm getting ahead of myself, but when I woke up after it was all over, and he was nowhere in sight, I knew that in part, he was hiding from me and the words I intended to have with him. He might be able to face down those who oppose him, but he's never quite been able to do so with me...and the old bugger knows it too! The fact that he knows that I know, makes it all the more frustrating to get him to admit to a mistake and not simply ignore it in the hope that it will go away. He treated Harry like that in a way. Deep down he knew that Harry was the lynchpin in the whole sordid mess, but until Hermione managed, by whatever means, to get both him and Mr Weasley to the Staffroom, nothing was assured.

What a mess that would have been!

The aftermath of Albus' announcements in the Staffroom that night could have so easily been pandemonium. That it wasn't utter chaos was due in part to Severus and his own 'style' at defusing potentially disastrous outcomes. The noise of panic is something I had not thought possible amongst a; generally, fairly mature teaching staff. That Hermione sat there looking relatively calm, though she did tell me later that she was in no way calm, but teetering on all out blind panic, I'm all the more grateful that Severus managed to calm everyone enough to get them to their assigned duties. My job was to work with Filius and get the younger years to the marshalling point near the Great Hall. All students from third year down were roused from their beds quickly and we managed to get the job done in just under two hours...as you well know. Hermione's task, and I didn't envy her it at all, was to rouse Harry and Ronald Weasley from whatever position she found them in and bring them back to the Staffroom as quickly as possible. Once everyone, save Severus, had their assignments in front of them, he left hurriedly with Poppy Pomfrey to go over the supplies in the Infirmary and make up the deficit with his own personal supplies. Both Severus and Poppy were the last ones to appear back in the Staffroom just over three hours later, and it left precious little time to gather the students fourth year and above into the Great Hall.

Thankfully, it appeared that the castle was having a relatively celibate night and though I must at some time ask Severus, I've no idea how he got just over a hundred students assembled in a little over thirty minutes. I doubt any of us would have achieved half of what we needed to do that night without the help of the House ghosts. Between all of us we managed to get the students sorted by abilities just as the ceiling in the Great Hall started to 'bleed' at the edges. You've a sick sense of drama, Arcanus, but it was a sobering image to watch that glorious night sky gradually transform into a less tolerable view. I still find it hard to believe that I can't still see traces of blood on that extravagant bit of Transfiguration.

Everyone looked up once the change was noticed and it was sobering to hear all the chatter and whispers end abruptly. As if unspoken, Severus and I positioned ourselves near the group of seventh year students surrounding Harry, Hermione and Mr Weasley. As our little group was about to move out of the Great Hall, Severus - as only he could - turned and bluntly told all assembled that he 'expected to see them later in the day to sit their exam papers' as he'd not gone to all that trouble 'for nothing'. It broke the tension unlike any other platitude and the whole hall laughed in varying degrees. That was the last time I heard many of them laugh...ever again, but it worked at the time. Added to the fact that we'd all taken pains to sort them all by ability, rather than House allegiance and for the first time in many years, I felt sure that they'd all work as a team.

And they did; in the main, guard each others' backs and take care of those less able students. I just wish that more of them could have lived to sit those delayed examinations...

Once outside, it all happened very quickly, though it did at the time seem as though it would take forever for Riddle and his entourage to reach our group. Everyone, unwittingly, seemed to have formed a circle around Mr Potter and it was sobering to realise that Severus and I had joined in that circle as well. Riddle, Lucius and Bellatrix, in a disgusting mockery of a triumvirate, blasted anyone in their way as they made their way towards us. I've no idea how many died as they cut a swathe through the duelling around us, but all too soon they were upon us and it seemed as though out of the ten or so initially in our little circle, only five of us were left. I didn't think to look around until the light started to consume everything and then the tragedy was illuminated for all to see.

The most anti-climactic part of the whole fight was Harry. He quietly raised his wand, pointed it at Riddle and said, 'Avada Kedavra' in a hushed tone. He dropped his wand as soon as he'd said those two words - as though in shock that it had indeed worked. Riddle, lying crumpled not more than three feet away from Harry Potter, is an image I'll never lose. The shock of it all almost gave that LeStrange woman the chance to fire the same curse back at Harry, but I managed to neutralise that mad woman very quickly.

I've always had an inkling about the depth of hatred that Lucius had nurtured inside him, but until he started his rant in front of our little group, not even I would have believed it to be quite so malicious. All I can clearly remember; because I was still alert for any mischief around me, was that he was 'so glad that I'd managed to survive so long, because he'd always vowed that he'd be the one to kill his bitch of a mother!' The shock was evident on those three students left around me and the gasp of shock was audible, though I've no idea who it came from. Then Lucius flicked his wand casually at both Messrs Potter and Weasley and they both fell instantly to the ground writhing under a Cruciatus I was sure was meant for me. Miss Granger had somehow managed to find herself partially behind me; on my left, and I could see Severus standing stiffly to my right. Lucius lifted his wand in a jerky motion and just as he was about to cast the Killing Curse, Severus called out, 'No!' and moved in front of the two of us.

And then the light started to spread out from Severus. It was the most unusual thing I've ever seen. It was almost as though Severus was shielding us...and yet I don't recall him using his wand. I know I looked around to see everything blurring under the relentless glare, but it's all very fuzzy after that, and it wasn't until I woke up with a thumping great headache nearly a week later that I found out that Severus had apparently emerged from the whole thing unscathed. That's not the right word, because I doubt that anyone present was left unscathed by that battle.

Futility...

That's the overriding feeling I have from it all. That Riddle's blind fanaticism sought to remove everyone not in agreement with his 'ideals' from conscious thought. Add to this the fact that so many believed the rhetoric and then faced off against each other highlighted the futility of it all. For at some time, in some future age, someone else may well have the same thought, and then those unknown future generations will have to deal with this whole mess all over again. I do realise that it's futile to second guess history that has yet to occur, but I can only hope that the friendships formed during the latest adversity might just prevail over madness.

I know it's an idle wish, Arcanus, but thankfully it is one that I won't be around to witness.

Once Albus had returned to the castle a week after I woke up, I found out that Miss...that Hermione had been taken to her parents' home in Surrey to recuperate and that she was in a sleep that no potion or spell seemed to be able to wake her from. So I went and looked after her for that next month until she woke up and scared the daylights out of me with her language.

We helped each other in a way and for all the misery in between; for both of us, we have a friendship I would have not have thought possible in the aftermath of all that grief.