Forsaken

Eleven
In which one boy has two minds.

I looked at the letter, and read it over a few times. Mating?? Besides, it was just a kiss. Okay, two kisses if I wanted to be truly honest about it. And Sirius was my friend! Quin must have gotten something wrong.

A thousand excuses went through my head, but I knew that he was right, and I cursed him for it. He was the specialist in werewolves, and I didn't doubt that he knew things I didn't. Even so, I hoped that Quin was wrong. That there was some possibility that he made a mistake. I told the wolf off. It was easy enough, considering that it wasn't a full moon, of course I didn't want to see how he would act come the next moon.

I folded the letter carefully and tucked it in my pocket. I would read it over and over throughout the years, to the point where it was too creased to be truly legible. I hid it from my friends, not wanting them to know the sense of my discomfort. I pushed it from my thoughts, though, when I was around them. I let my friendships with James, Peter and especially Sirius continue to flourish and grow.

'It's so disgusting,' Sirius cringed. It was around October, a month or so after the kiss. 'How can that even be legal?'

'Because they're writing too many anti-werewolf laws to consider illegalising it,' I sighed. Sirius patted my back encouragingly.

'It is rather disgusting,' Peter agreed, from James' bed. They were sitting on James' and Sirius and I were on his. 'It makes me loose my apatite.'

'He should bathe more often,' James commented.

Sirius laughed, 'that's assuming he already does bathe.'

I thought for a moment, 'I've an idea; up for some marauding?' They nodded, as if it were obvious that they were. I should have guessed. 'There's a potion I was reading about earlier,' I quickly fetched a heavy, brass-bound book, ' “To Dye For”,' I read, ' “a semi-permanent dye for any kind of hair in any chosen colour. Guaranteed to cover grey hair and provide the perfect blond.” There's a different mixing depending on how many washes you want it to last for. Let's do… five. We can bet on how long it takes him to wash his hair five times.'

Sirius grinned, 'and what does the winner get?'

I shrugged, 'no clue.'

'How about whatever they want from Honeydukes at the expense of the others?'

'I say five months,' Sirius called.

'I'll take mid March,' James called.

'I've got July,' Peter called, 'though I might be inclined to believe it's never been washed before.' We all laughed.

'Five weeks,' I replied hesitantly.

They laughed again, this time at me, but it seemed unimportant after a minute. We began working on the mechanics. It could be applied like a standard dye, but then we'd have had top put it in his shampoo – assuming he used any – and that was too difficult for us, especially considering the difficulty of obtaining certain ingredients. No, we would get it to him orally, much simpler. We would brew the potion and then condense it. Either James or Sirius (or both) could walk over to the Slytherin table, pick a fight with someone, drop the colourless tablet into Snivellus' drink and no one would notice. The potion itself would take twenty-four hours to work, and Snivellus would be too worried about his hair to think about who could have done it. It was brilliant, if I must say so myself, and one of our more fun pranks.

Our biggest problem was the Midnight Mould. The best place we could think to get any kind of mould would be near the dungeon. And Midnight Mould was, not surprisingly, found at midnight. It was the ingredient that held the dye to the hair. Only two of us could fit under James' Cloak, and, since it was past curfew, the Cloak was needed. It was decided that I should go, as I knew the potion and mould best. Sirius would go with me because James had control of the last paired marauding. That meant James would actually give it to him, which would be easy enough for him.

So we went, on a Wednesday (because, honestly, who expects anything to happen on a Wednesday night?) right around a quarter 'till. We went from memory, for fear of being caught by the light of a lantern. We scrambled across the castle, heading towards enemy territory. As midnight approached, we neared a patch of mould, the bright blue glow of our target was apparent. I left the Cloak and bent down to gather what we needed as Sirius stood guard. I filled the container, there was extra but I didn't really care. We then gathered back into the Cloak and made our way back. This time Sirius led and I kept watch on our mould, making sure not to let it seep out of its container. It's rather impatient.

We went threw the corners and Sirius stopped, pushing his hand against my chest and made a silencing motion against his lips. It was Filch's cat. The bloody animal has always an impeccable sense to find us under the Cloak. Sirius pulled on my arm and tugged me into a nearby closet. He dropped the Cloak and it fell around our ankles. We were pressed fairly close together in there, the container the only thing separating us.

He whispered to me, mouth touching my ear, 'I think we're safe here for a minute, Moony.'

'As long as the Mould stays still,' I tilted my head slightly to whisper in his ear.

The closeness to Sirius triggered the wolf and I felt him growl fierily. I whimpered, and Sirius closed his hand over my mouth and I felt him telling me to be quiet. We heard footsteps echoing past the door and Filch muttering to his cat. We waited, hardly daring to breathe. 'Nothing there, Mrs. Norris,' he told her and we heard the footsteps vanish off in the direction that we had come. We both breathed a sigh of relief and Sirius gathered the Cloak around us once again and opened the door. We proceeded to the dorms, as quickly as we could, practically slamming the door behind us.

James and Peter came to greet us and Sirius retold our story flourishly. James took the container from me and the two of us went to our caldron to add it and finish it off.

'There has got to be a way to throw him off,' Sirius groaned.

'How can his cat,' James whined, 'find it?'

'There might be a way,' I pondered as I added the Wormwood, 'I think I read something a while ago, let me find the book.'

'Remind me,' Sirius started, 'never to mock your reading again, Moony.'

'I'll do that,' I grinned.

'Potion's finished,' James announced, 'but we need to let it sit for a day before shrinking it.' He put a lit over the caldron and made towards his bed, deliberately slipping under the covers and turning on his side. 'Last one in bed, deal with the candles.' His eyes closed and he fell asleep.

Peter was next and then Sirius. I was last, as I was the furthest from my bed, and I willed the candles out before sticking my wand under my pillow. Soon the gentle snoring of James filled the air and Sirius' not-quite snore followed. It was reassuring, the noise. Peter and I both knew that without it, we would have problems sleeping every night.

I thought again of the wolf's reaction earlier that night. Or morning. Whatever it had been. In the closet, he had growled. Quin was right, bloody hells, Quin was right. He had chosen Sirius and was trying to give me no choice in the matter. I was lost. At thirteen I already felt like I was being betrayed by my inner self, because I was. Most thirteen-year-olds, I thought bitterly, didn't have a wolf-half with his own agenda. It wasn't fair, but what was I to do about it? Would I really have to endure the wolf on that matter as well? I wasn't one to give him what he wanted. He came out every moon and that was the only thing I let him do, seeing as I had no choice. But other than that, all I can do is try to push him back, try to exert some authority. The human body is mine, I will decide what happens to it.

The only problem is, he's so much stronger than I am.

In the morning, we headed to do our usual routines. I woke first and was met on my way out of the shower by Peter. I finished up some things and then the two of us went to breakfast. Fifteen minutes before we needed to head for class, James and Sirius joined us.

That evening we Shrunk the potion, capturing the whole caldron into a tiny capsule. The next morning, James and Sirius hurried a little bit, making it to the Hall about ten minutes earlier. Snivellus was there, eating on a separate side of the table. Regulus grinned at Sirius and told him that he had something to show him. He threw a pathetic hex at Sirius, and Sirius blocked it. Right before Sirius could backfire, he was stopped by Professor McGonagall, who took ten House points from Regulus for hexing Sirius. In the commotion, no one noticed James sneaking the capsule into Snivellus' pumpkin juice. And no one noticed as he drank the whole thing down.

The two deviants grinned as they sat down across from Peter and me. Sirius got back pats from those who had seen the exchange.

''Never thought they'd get points taken away during this,' Sirius whispered triumphantly.

'All in a day's work,' James grinned. 'I can't wait to see how it works though.'

I rolled my eyes dramatically and they laughed. Ah, to be a Marauder!