Ginny Weasley and the Red Shoes

Chapter Five - Preliminaries

Friday arrives. Colin and I are waiting our turn outside the audition room with several other hopeful students, and I'm wondering once again how I got talked into this. No, that's not really true; I know exactly why I'm here. Once we learned from Professor Flitwick that we needn't have a finalized act for the audition, it didn't take much for Colin to convince me that we should at least give it a try. We've practiced every night since on a simple routine - every night. I'm sure we can do it in our sleep by now. And yet I feel so....

Judging from the way people are shifting and whispering, I can tell that most are nervous. Colin is next to me, rocking so hard on his heels that he's almost bouncing. I'm also jittery, but truth be told, I'm more anxious to start. The breakfast scene from last week is once again preying on my mind.

I'm not mad at Ron - well, yes, I am, but you see, I'm used to that sort of thing from my brothers. And in front of Harry - well, I'm used to that, too. But it's not just Ron or the twins or Harry that's been bothering me. It's the combination of Ron and Fred and George and Harry... oh, I'm not making any sense.

It's like this. All my life, I think, I've been living in the shadow of my family. I'm not like Ron, though: he feels the pressure of being the youngest brother. I, on the other hand, feel the pressure of being both the youngest child and only daughter. Yes, there are expectations on Ron, though personally I think that his own are greater than what he thinks we want from him. But they're still there.

And that's just it - Ron at least has those expectations. But as for me... they don't expect anything out of me at all. I don't know why it is but somehow I've been growing more aware of this over the past few years, and there are times like that scene in the dining hall when I can't help but feel it strongly. I'm starting to think that my family doesn't believe in me. Or what's worse... maybe... or maybe it's that they just don't trust me.

...Oh, please let it not be that.

I feel my stomach start to knot. I can see why Harry goes off food whenever he has a Quidditch match. I think I'll die if I lose my dinner during the audition. Oh, wouldn't that be wonderful -

"Colin Creevey... Ginny Weasley..." Professor McGonagall's voice echoes in the hallway, snapping me out of my melancholy. I notice that Colin is watching me.

"Ginny, are you okay? You look kind of tense."

This from a boy who is about to wear a hole through the floor.

"I'm fine, Colin... just a little nervous." I smile at him and he nods. As we start to move through the door I suddenly grab his arm, pulling him back. He gives me an alarmed look.

"Colin, let's... let's just do our very best and leave it at that, all right?"

He grins, relieved. "Sure, Ginny."

We enter the room and take our positions before the panel of judges. Arms out, check; hand on shoulder, check; hand on waist, check. We stare nervously at each other, and then Colin winks and squeezes my hand. I smile, feeling a weight lifting off me. We can do this in our sleep, after all. The music starts and we begin.