If He Only Knew

A/N: Well, here's the third chapter of 'If He Only Knew.' Thanks for all your constructive criticisms, they went a long way in helping me! I'm going to address my motives behind such a squidgy relationship between Hermione and Severus. As far as you all (and me) are aware, this is a non sexual, one sided relationship. Kinda off, but so is Severus in his own little way. Perhaps there is motive behind his madness?? N'est pas? *insert dramatic music here*

I've also moved on to PoA. I know that there's probably a lot in CoS that I could have dissected, but a girl gets inspired.

--

I think I am going to go insane. Neville Longbottom. His parents were outstanding wizards, and here he is. Dumbledore told me that his 'incompetence' is due to his previous trauma. I am sympathetic, but when I refused to change my teaching style to accommodate him, he grew frightened, and I grew exasperated. An exasperated Severus Snape is not a good thing. I figure that if I am blatantly honest with him, he will choose to work as hard as she does, if for anything, so that I will leave him alone. Thus far, my theory has not worked. And I had so hoped it would have.

His potion, which was supposed to be a bright, acid free, had turned--

I turned around, and I briefly swore in my head when I saw his cauldron. I could tell immediately where he had gone wrong. Shaky hands and a shaky confidence, both are things that Potions masters must guard against. You will fail if you do not have coordination, or believe that what you are doing will work. Unfortunately, he has both of those shaky traits. I wonder if he knows how many Galleons he costs this school each year, just to replace his melted cauldrons and ruined ingredients. I almost feel sorry for his situation, but I cannot allow lenience.

"Orange, Longbottom," I said, ladling some up and allowing it to splash back into the cauldron, so that everyone could see. "Orange. Tell me, boy, does anything penetrate that thick skull of yours? Didn't you hear me say, quite clearly, that only one rat spleen was needed? Didn't I state plainly that a dash of leech juice would suffice? What do I have to do to make you understand, Longbottom?

Neville was pink and trembling. He looked as though he was on the verge of tears.

Then she spoke, commanding my attention.

"Please, sir," said Hermione, "please, I could help Neville put it right--"

"I don't remember asking you to show off, Miss Granger," I said coldly, and Hermione went as pink as Neville.

I felt a twinge of guilt as I said those words to her. But I am right- she will not be there for the rest of Neville's life. He must learn for himself.

"Long bottom, at the end of this lesson we will feed a few drops of this potion to your toad and see what happens. Perhaps that will encourage you to do it properly."

I moved away, leaving Neville breathless with fear.

I knew what he was going to do, after witnessing him ask her thousands of times- and I knew that she would not have the capacity in her heart to refuse him help, despite my order. She was quite admirable in that way, bolstering in the face of adversity. And equally frustrating.

"Help me!" he moaned to Hermione.

How ironic. Neville and I are quite similar in some ways- we both recognize that Hermione is the only one who can save us from ourselves.