Proving Me Wrong

PROVING ME WRONG

LAST CHAPTER: -

A second later her feet slammed violently into the ground sending shocks of pain up through her ankles and knees. Lily's eyes widened in terror as she took in the dim surroundings.

She was home.

CHAPTER 18

"The Howling Halloween"

Run, hide, go away, leave, disappear, flee, escape, go somewhere else, go anywhere else, GET OUT.

Lily was in the hall, unbolting the front door and cursing as her trembling fingers fumbled the lock over and over again.

"Please God- "

With desperate relief she managed to slide the bolt across and undo the catch, throwing the door open wide so that moonlight spilled into the foyer, illuminating the gleaming white tiles on the floor and the bottom of the stairs. Lily stepped hurriedly over the threshold and pulled the door behind her. Her heels clicked loudly in the static air as she strode blindly down the garden path in the pitch black. Her hand grasped cool metal and she jerked open the gate, it swung round with a reverberating screech and clanged off the garden wall. Lily winced.

One of the upstairs rooms suddenly glowed to life.

Lily steadied the gate and stepped out past the too-tall hedges and onto the street. She closed it as quietly as she could and turned around to face the road. A bitingly cold breeze whipped her hair around her face and set the trees leaning and bowing. The streetlamps were lit, and the terrace houses which stretched in both directions seemed to pulsate with a macabre orange light. High, narrow buildings with long, narrow gardens to match, each with its own bushes or walls or trees to keep the house fronts screened from the footpath.

The streetlamp directly above her held her in a spotlight. Lily wrapped her robes tightly around her and scraped her hair back into a ponytail, shoving doubt and fear out of her mind. She had her wand. She couldn't legally use it yet. But she had it.

A hand shot out of the darkness and snatched her shoulder. Lily shrieked and yanked out of the grip, staggering back from the gate. The person scuffled forward and craned over into the street, revealed by the glow.

"Lily?" whispered Petunia with wide eyes.

Lily couldn't speak. She stared in astonishment at Petunia, - as the streetlamp cast its dusty orange sheen upon her blonde hair and the hedges veiled the colour of her blue eyes in shadow...

It was amazing how much she looked like their mother.

"What are you doing here?" demanded her older sister, no longer resembling anyone but herself.

Lily's eyes scanned up and down the street, deciding what to do next, "I was sent home for Halloween-" she looked at Petunia, "but I'm not staying, I'm going back," she stated firmly.

Petunia pressed her lips into a thin line, glaring at Lily.

Lily snapped, "What exactly is your problem, Petunia? I haven't even been back long enough to disgust you with my abnormality, but you still- "

"Pet? What are you doing?" called a male voice from the Evans's front door; causing Lily instantly shrank back out of the spotlight, pressing herself flat against the wall.

Petunia didn't answer the call. Wrapped in a blue dressing gown, her folded arms appeared to tighten as she beadily watched her petrified sister, biting her lip in agitation.

"PET? What's going on down there?" yelled the person again from the front door.

Lily looked at her sister, and shook her head pleadingly in the dark. In a whisper she begged, "Petunia, please, please - don't, don't tell him I'm here. I'm going back to school, please Petty... let me go."

Petunia stared coldly at her sister, unmoved. Her neck stiffened slightly.

A third shout, more irritated this time, "PETUNIA! What are you doing?"

Lily saw her sister flinch at the words and the sisters locked gazes.

"I am sick of being alone in this!" Petunia hissed at her.

"No, Petunia, no!"

Without taking her eyes off her younger sister, Petunia turned towards the light and called,

"Dad, Lily's home!"

In what seemed like the blink of an eye, Lily was seated on the sofa in the Evans's living room, trying not to glower at the man who sat opposite her. Actually, she avoided looking at him at all. In the few seconds she did look at him, Lily noticed that he had grown his moustache again. Petunia stood hovering between them, her hands fluttering in and out of the pockets of her dressing gown.

Graham turned his dark brown head towards his oldest daughter, blue eyes meeting blue, "Petty, you go on up to bed," he said gently.

Lily stiffened in her seat, but she ignored Petunia's hesitant look at her, choosing instead to tighten her grip on her wand, still concealed in her robes.

The nineteen-year-old girl left the room without a word, ascended the stairs silently, and banged her door shut.

Graham didn't flinch at the noise, but his forehead creased slightly. He moved forwards in his seat so that, had Lily done the same, they would have been able to hold hands. Lily's face was turned to the right, gazing through to the hall, ignoring her father.

"Lily," he began tentatively. The softness of his tone didn't surprise Lily. She had heard all of this before; she could recite it in her head...

I'm completely disgusted with myself.

"I've been completely disgusted with myself these past two months, love. I couldn't even look in the mirror, I was afraid of what I would see. I'm sickened that I could hurt my own children, my two girls, so- so badly."

I know I have no right to ask, but how are you now?

"How are you? How - how were you, getting back to school? Is everything all right now? I know I don't even deserve an answer to that, but...you look healthy. You're more beautiful every time I see you."

Lily's stomach churned with anger and loathing.

Can you ever forgive me?

"What I did was unforgivable, but is there anyway that you could ever possibly forgive me for what I have done to you and Petunia? Put it behind us and start again?"

Her green eyes narrowed in seething incredulity at the tiles on the hall floor.

Things will be different from now on. Lily's eyes prickled. She thought of James, and wondered whether he had ever went through anything like this, but she knew the answer was no. He had a normal life.

"I promise, I swear on my own life, I swear to God, that I will change. For the better." He reached out and touched Lily's hands, which were folded in her lap. "Things are going to be better for us, Lils... things are going to be different."

Lily felt a hot lump in her throat as she sat there, blinking furiously into the blurred hall.

She hated this. She hated this more than she hated the punches, the kicks, the slaps, and the names. She hated it when he said such stupid things, she hated him for saying them to her every time, and she hated him for giving her hope that things would be different.

But most of all she hated herself for wanting to believe him.

She felt him crouch in front of her, and he squeezed her hand tightly. She didn't move her hand but didn't look around either. Against her icy skin his touch was blistering, serving to remind her of her mother for the second time that night, and how her hands were always warm. She tried to swallow the lump in her throat but it wouldn't budge. She didn't move to wipe away the thick tears which rolled slowly down her cheeks and dripped off her chin. She felt overwhelmed with emotion, her heart swelling with grief for the family she could have had. And her body shuddered as she released the first sob, gasping for something more than oxygen.

He was beside her on the sofa and held her closely to him, rocking her gently. She didn't protest, only crying louder, limp as she lay in his arms, sobbing the words, "I hate you, Dad," into his chest.

***

James tossed in his bed again. He couldn't sleep. He couldn't stop thinking. He thought about Lily all of the time, but it was at night that he thought about Sirius, and Remus, and Peter. He knew that things wouldn't seem so bad if he still had them to take the piss out of him, but he didn't. And without them, tomorrow looked bleak.

He turned on his side, pushing away the thought that they might never be friends again. They had fallen out for a full two weeks last year, after the Snape and Moony incident, but it had now been over a month since James had spoken with any of them. He wasn't even that angry with them anymore, not really, for going behind his back. He didn't blame Sirius for what happened to Lily, but every time he decided to go and make peace with the boy, who was closer to him than a brother, he thought about Lily dying there at the quidditch pitch. And even though he knew, he knew it wasn't Sirius's fault, the thought of Lily being - gone - scared him so much that he would stop in his tracks, inadvertently catching the boy's attention. And then a second later that same fear would make him turn around and resolutely walk away from his best friend.

James was worried about tomorrow night, and whether they would be about to manage without him. He doubted it, and already an idea was forming in his mind to follow them, and watch them, just in case things got out of hand.

Wondering whether Lily was back from Dumbledore's office yet, James rolled over for the last time, turning his back on the open window, and on the silvery orb which was almost, but not yet completely, full.

***

Lily lay in the dark staring up at the ceiling she couldn't see. She was flat on her back in her bed, arms and legs sprawling in different directions. Her body was so weighed down with exhaustion she felt as if she was going to sink into the mattress and never be seen again. She was trying to breathe as quietly as she could, not for fear of waking the other two people in the house, no. She was breathing quietly so that she could hear her heartbeat.

She rested her hand lightly on her chest and she felt the muscle pumping beneath her palm. The steady rhythm soothed her and her racing thoughts slowed to match its pace.

Lily didn't know what was going to happen tomorrow. Tonight - her breaking down like that - she hadn't meant for it to happen, and she hadn't expected it to happen...until her dad started making those awful promises. Promises that he wouldn't, rather than couldn't, keep. But it was only after she thought of James that it had all become too much for her to bear. It was always like that, Lily realised; she could usually think about her life with a certain amount of apathy, but when someone else's life invaded her mind, and she had something to compare her own to...that's when the dark thoughts arose.

Lily couldn't even imagine trying to explain it to someone else; James wouldn't understand...that the reason Lily didn't have any friends was because it was easier for her that way. Friends only served to highlight the things she didn't have, or used to have, and feeling sorry for herself stopped her from getting on with her life. Only a person like Lily would see it like that, that although friends could offer their 'support' in such situations, the fact that they were undeniably shielded from such troubles, while others were thrust into them, only made living through them seem that much worse.

She didn't know what would happen tomorrow. She was unsure if her dad believed her to have forgiven him, because she hadn't. She had let him hold her hand and hug her in the living room because that was what she had needed then. Even though he was the person who had hurt her the most, Lily had needed him for those few minutes, in spite of everything. For those few minutes, she was just a teenage girl, and he was just a father, comforting his daughter as best he could.

A firework went off in the street; reminding Lily what day it was tomorrow. Halloween. She didn't know why Petunia was home, but prayed that she would stay until Sunday. If Lily was lucky, tomorrow would pass without any excitement, and her father would stick to his word. If she was lucky.

But Lily wasn't an optimist, or stupid. She was well aware, even as her eyelids at last began to droop, that she would never make it to Sunday untouched.

It seemed stupid that only a few hours ago she had been worried whether or not James Potter really fancied her.

***

He stood at the bottom of the stairs, messy-haired but fully dressed with his bag over one shoulder, as he leant against the banister. "Lily!" he called up.

No answer.

James looked at his watch and saw that breakfast would be ending in fifteen minutes, his stomach growled with hunger. He stamped his foot on the bottom step, and as intended, the stairs started to move like an uphill treadmill and the klaxon blared in the common room. If that doesn't wake her, James thought, nothing will.

But no furious screamed came from her room, no "Potter, you toerag!" or any death threats, which was very odd. Dumbledore must have kept her up a long time, James realised, for her to sleep through this racket. He silenced the alarm with a spell and summoned his broom, just like the day before. He flew up to her room and banged on the door with his fist, "LILY!" he half-shouted, half-whined. "I'm starving!"

He rattled the doorknob, as though he was about to enter, though he had no clue how to unlock it. "Aha! So that's the spell you used to lock this door!" he lied, hoping it would make her get out of bed. He started to twist the doorknob, expecting her to yank it open and lecture him about privacy. But before he knew it he had turned the handle, and the door had swung inward, revealing Lily's bedroom...devoid of Lily.

"The little..." James muttered, looking with interest around the only dormitory he had never been in. She had gone to breakfast without him, and here he was almost dying of hunger waiting for her to get up!

He had never known how much of a neat freak Lily was, there was nothing left out anywhere; no books on the desk, no clothes lying around, not even a spare quill or empty bottle of ink. At last, James thought triumphantly, he had found something to slag her about! Yes! She is weird...I knew it!

It made him fancy her even more. Gorgeous, smart, funny, and crazy, maybe his mum was right in thinking that he had found a girl. The girl.

He ignored that worthless thought and left Lily's room, shutting the door. He flew back down the stairs and didn't miss a beat as he hopped off his broom and dashed to the portrait hole, hoping that she would save him some toast, at least.

He made it to the Great Hall just as breakfast was ending and as usual for Halloween, when he passed through the doors a pair of floating pumpkins began to sing, bobbing up and down in the air above his head. They followed him to his seat, into which he threw himself in order to grab some food before it vanished. But where in Merlin's name was Lily? He scanned the sea of faces, oblivious to the fact that the water he was pouring disappeared before it reached his goblet. He was getting worried again. It took so little to get him worked up these days, whereas last year he wouldn't have been bothered if Padfoot had gone missing for a week.

In an attempt to curb his growing anxiety, James wracked his brains trying to remember if Lily had something on this morning that he had forgotten; a Charms...'thingy' perhaps, a Prefect meeting-

"Ow!" James clapped a hand to the back of his neck. One of the pumpkins had got a little over-excited in its bobbing and had spilled some of its hot wax out onto James's neck. James shot both of the pumpkins a glare. Then, peering into his empty goblet, he said in a menacing voice said, "Damn, no pumpkin juice left... wherever shall I find some?"

The pair floated in the other direction as fast as they could.

Picking the hardened candle wax off his skin, James frowned. He couldn't remember Lily telling him that she had to go anywhere this morning. His appetite vanished then and there, the familiar anxiety creeping in to fill up his empty stomach.

James spotted Dorcas Meadowes, with whom he had always been friendly, further down the Gryffindor table, and called, "Dork-ass!"

The girl turned her eyes expectantly towards his, smirking playfully, as she stopped what she was doing. He tried to grin back but he looked like a grimace. "Er- you haven't see Lily this morning, have you?"

She couldn't hear him over the racket of people preparing to leave. She held up her hands, "What?" she mouthed.

As inconspicuously as he could, James pulled out his wand and transfigured Dorcas's plate into a white lily flower. Her smile faltered. James tapped his glasses, mouthing, "Have you seen her?"

She shook her head once, then abruptly turned away.

Did Meadowes just give me the cold shoulder?

But James didn't have the energy to consider the possibility that he had just pissed off another person; Lily was enough to worry about. Where was she?

His eyes instinctively strayed to the trio at the other end of the table, deep in discussion about something, poring over the Map, which they must have Summoned from James's room some time ago. James felt instantly jealous. He hated being left out of things.

Almost as one, the three boys turned to look around at James, who panicked (as one usually does when one is looked at) and began examining his fork. He quickly realised that he looked like a complete idiot, so he abandoned his 'I'm-just-admiring-my-reflection-in-my-fork' ruse and lifted his gaze to discover that they had gone.

The bell rang and James's stomach lurched. Lily was about to miss first class; Lily never missed any class. He stood up, running a hand through his hair, and swallowed.

Okay, he thought calmly, accept the fact that she is missing and do something about it.

He strode toward the staff table, abandoning his bag. Professor Dumbledore wasn't present, he hardly ever was these days, and so he approached Professor McGonagall, who was preparing to leave. Without looking at him she said, "Yes, Mr. Potter, I did see that wee bit of fancy transfiguration a moment ago. And no, I will not be awarding you any House Points for it."

James rolled his eyes in impatience; clearly she was confusing him with another affection-starved Gryffindor. "Professor, have you seen Lily Evans this morning?"

He was shocked when the woman gave him a sharp look. She openly assessed him, but James stood firm, unblinking. Then, in a tone that James could only describe as ominous, she said, "Follow me, Potter."

He tried not to trail after her like a lost first year, as he left his bag in the Great Hall along with some of his Gryffindor courage, but it was difficult to keep up with her marching strides. By the third floor he was ready to throttle the Scot, "Tell me where she is, woman!" but when he tried to lift his arms he realised the strength had gone out of them.

They finally arrived at her office and James sat down in front of the desk, scared stiff. Professor McGonagall remained standing in front of her fireplace, her dark brows knitted together. "Potter - " she began, but was cut off by an urgent rap on the door. "Excuse me," she said, leaving a distraught Head Boy to go and see who it was.

There was a muffled discussion at the door, during which James fidgeted in his seat, managing to break his glasses twice as a result. A moment later McGonagall returned to her previous position in front of the fireplace. "Shut the door." James put on his repaired spectacles to see that another person had entered the office.

Sirius.

"What are you doing here?" James blurted before he could stop himself, bristling in his seat.

Sirius looked at him through his curtain of dark hair and replied, "Same reason you are," before sitting down on the stool beside him and looking at the Professor with a grim expression. With a mixture of anger and regret, James tore his eyes away from his friend to look at their Head of House as well.

"Is she all right?" James asked gravely, his eyes boring into the Professor's.

Neither boy blinked.

The forty-something professor seemed ill at ease with these two solemn young men. She spoke tersely, "Miss Evans is in a safe place, that is all you need to know."

This pitiful response was met with cries of indignation from James, and to James's surprise, from Sirius.

"That will do, Mr. Black," McGonagall snapped. Then her eyes softened somewhat. She murmured to herself. "Oh fair enough, I don't think the Headmaster would object." She clasped her hands together in front of her. "It appears that Miss Evans has become a target - of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and his followers. Her accident in September- "

"Wasn't an accident?" James's eyes widened and he glanced at Sirius who was nodding... as if he knew this already. James turned to McGonagall. "How did you know-?"

She suddenly became brisk once more. "That is none of your concern. Suffice it to say that word was sent that there might be another attempt made on her life today. Therefore last night Miss Evans was taken somewhere safe to stay until Sunday."

"Where?" the two boys asked at once.

The professor eyed them shrewdly, "Some place where she cannot be reached, so don't attempt to. Now go to your class, and needless to say, you're to keep this to yourselves- and Mr. Black kindly fix your tie."

Sirius flashed her a begrudging smile, buttoning his top button and pulling up his tie. James opened his mouth to speak, but found he had nothing to say, so closed it again. The two boys both stood up and left the room, each with a curt, "Morning, Professor."

James walked dazedly down the corridor, vaguely heading in the direction of the Great Hall as he tried to come to grips with this new revelation.

Lily Evans was a target of You-Know-Who.

It was difficult to even say it in his head. Why? Why her? Didn't she have enough to deal with without some racist psychopath coming after her?

But she's safe, he reassured himself. For now at least, she's safe.

Had Lily known that she was leaving last night? Why didn't she tell him? Was it because of him being a prat and saying he fancied her? Just another thing to add to the long list of reasons why he should have kept his mouth shut.

James wondered where Lily was. He stopped in his tracks; maybe she was still in the castle somewhere. That would be just the type of barmy thing Dumbledore would do. James needed to see her; McGonagall saying Lily was all right didn't count for much, coming from the woman who would send you on to your next class with snails instead of ears. He couldn't trust McGonagall's judgement; he would have to see for himself if Lily was 'all right'. And if she was in the castle he would find her.

"She's not here."

James jumped at the sound. Then he slowly turned around to look at Sirius, who had followed him.

"And why would I need to know that?" he replied with a scowl, knowing he was being a prick even as he said it.

Sirius shrugged and with his tone of jaded sarcasm replied, "Just thought you might go looking for her. Obviously, I was wrong."

"Obviously." There was a pause. "I was going to owl her."

"Dumbledore's made her Unplottable."

James shoved his hands in his pockets and continued walking, turning left into a shortcut and going down some narrow stairs. Sirius followed. James ignored him.

How had Sirius known Lily was missing? Was that what the three of them had been whispering about at breakfast? How had they known before James? And more importantly, why did Sirius even care? It's not as if he and Lily were friends or anything.

Then James remembered being in Potions a few days before, and seeing Lily and Sirius talking and laughing.

Were they friends? How could this have happened and James not known? He began to think about all those 'Charms club meetings' Lily had disappeared to over the past month and wondered if she even belonged to a Charms club- but then the sane part of his mind stopped himself from going any further with that Moody-ish thought.

Sirius had known that Lily's fall wasn't an accident. How? Since when? And why didn't he tell her?

"She vanished off the map last night," Sirius broke the silence, as though continuing an interrupted conversation. He moved up to walk alongside James, "Moony owled her straight away, but the owl turned up this morning at breakfast, with the letter unopened. I thought - ah - oh, I don't know what I thought," he shook his head. "That something bad had happened, I suppose."

James stopped and asked shortly, "Why are you following me?"

Sirius kept strolling along, "I'm waiting," he said with a smile.

"Oh yeah? Waiting for wait?"

"For you to pull your head out of your arse."

James almost laughed out loud, but covered it with a hacking cough. Sirius's smile widened. The Head Boy caught up with him, "You knew about this, didn't you? That Death Eaters were after her?" James tried to sound angry, he was angry, yet at the same time was internally rejoicing that he and Padfoot were even talking.

"I knew her fall was no accident if that's what you mean," Sirius replied. He looked askance at his friend who didn't speak, so he took this as an invitation to continue. "A house-elf came up to her in the kitchens a few weeks ago, first time she'd ever been there, and when she spotted the elf, she went mental- panicked, then bolted. I've known since then. Because that night she said something, something that she couldn't have imagined... but I'll bet my broomstick she thinks she did."

"Imagined what?"

Sirius walked faster. "A house-elf," he spat, "A filthy little elf with bloodshot eyes, a grubby cloth tied round his middle and a pig snout for a nose."

"What- Kreacher?"

"Kreacher was sent to the Quidditch Pitch on the 22^nd September! They sent him here- for her!"

"Who did?" James demanded, stopping in his tracks.

Sirius gave a bark of bitter laughter and turned to face the wall, away from James. "...My little brother."

The breath went out of James. No, this was too much. Regulus was only a kid; he couldn't be involved in this. He was too young. James looked at Sirius, who had not yet turned around again.

Suddenly it hit James that it wasn't just he who had been alone for a month, but Sirius as well. Sirius, who rarely spoke of his feelings to anyone, would have been devastated by the news of Regulus's involvement. James was the only person who knew that on the night he ran away from Grimmauld Place, Sirius had almost changed his mind because he hadn't wanted to leave his younger brother.

James stepped behind him and touched Sirius on the shoulder. He tried to reassure him, "Maybe he's not properly working for You-Know-Who, Padfoot. Maybe it was just Bellatrix who put him up to it."

"That's what I thought. But I don't know which one's worse, Prongs," he whispered.

"Right," James sighed, "I need to say this..."

Sirius looked up.

"I'm sorry, Padfoot. I'm sorry for...beating the crap out of you in September, for breaking your nose- "

"And pulling my hair like a girl," he added.

The corners of James's mouth twitched. "And for pulling your hair like a girl. I'm sorry for being a prat and not talking to you or the others." He paused. "And I'm sorry that I left you to go through this by yourself." He frowned. "Have you even talked to anyone else- Moony, even?"

"No," Sirius muttered, as though the idea was inconceivable. "I just - I just - don't know what's going to happen to him, Prongs...and it's scaring the shit out of me. I keep thinking that maybe if I had stayed a little longer, or just left in a different way, that -"

"No!" James gripped both his shoulders and steered him around to face him. "Sirius, if you had stayed any longer in that house you would have never gotten out! I didn't think I'd have to say this again, but I will; Regulus is not your responsibility and he's not a baby."

"He's fourteen," Sirius spat, pulling away from him. "And if I don't take responsibility for him then who will? Bella?" He gave a harsh bark of laughter. "We've seen the fruits of that labour already; attempted murder of the Head Girl."

"Nothing is set in stone, Padfoot. You can still reach him if you want to, change his mind," James told him firmly.

Sirius gave him a dubious look.

"Do you want your little brother to become a Death Eater before he leaves Hogwarts?"

"NO!"

"Then you're going to have to do something about it, aren't you? And I'll help...or entertain you along the way, if that's all I can do."

Sirius stared at him for a moment and then said gruffly, "Thank-"

"Don't say it."

"We're supposed to be in Potions now, right?"

"Er- yeah," replied James, who admittedly hadn't planned on going to first class, "Slughorn probably hasn't even realised we're absent."

Sirius gave a lop-sided grin. "Exactly." In a flash he had whipped out his wand and pointed it at the other boy.

James's ankle was instantly jerked into the air by an invisible hook. Sirius burst out laughing as the contents of James' pockets fell onto the floor, including his wand. "You are useless! You and Evans don't duel much, I take it?"

The upside-down James folded his arms huffily, "I may be a tad rusty," with his black hair hanging wildly. Sirius sat down on the ground under him, just out of arm's reach, and started to happily dig through his friend's possessions. He made an obvious show of pocketing James's chocolate frog cards and laughing maniacally.

"What in Merlin's beard is this? Actually, it does look like it could have grown out of someone's chin, not yours mind you."

James pushed his glasses up his nose, an almost impossible task when upside-down, and looked down. "What?"

Sirius held up a piece of cobweb with a questioning look on his face. "Cobwebs in your trousers, Prongs?" he said in disgust. "Although it's a miracle you even washed your hair this month without me, I suppose."

James immediately recognised what Sirius had in his hand and tried to grab it, "Give me it, Sirius." He made a swipe for it but instead grabbed some of Sirius's hair. He pulled it and laughed at Sirius's yelp. "Give me it!" he demanded.

But Sirius yanked himself free and scrambled away from him, jumping to his feet. His eyes moved from James to the cobweb with intrigue. He smiled shrewdly, "What is this really?"

James sighed in defeat. He knew he deserved this for being a prick since September. "See for yourself."

He closed his eyes as Sirius undid the transfiguration, and he knew it was successful when something whizzed past his face.

Sirius was silent.

"Padfoot?" James called, opening his eyes.

Then Sirius snorted.

And snorted again.

Next came the sniggers.

Then the chuckles.

And finally the hysterical laughter.

"AHHHHH! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU FANCY EVANS! AHA! AHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Anyone who entered that corridor at that moment, would have been greeted by the sight of the Head Boy, suspended upside-down in midair, becoming quite red in the face, and Sirius Black, rolling on the stone floor clutching his stomach, tears of laughter streaming down his face. He spotted James looking at him and laughed louder, raising his arm to point weakly at him while shaking his head.

The 'I LIKE LILY' hovered above the howling boy, as though curious to know what was so funny.

***

Remus had already gone to visit his sick aunt by the time James and Sirius arrived in Potions, so Peter, who had been sitting by himself, beamed when he saw the two black-haired boys entering the dungeon together.

"Wormtail," James grinned, giving him a pat on the back as he sat down on his right.

Peter sighed contentedly, "Good to have you back, Prongs. We missed you."

"Well, we missed having a fourth person to pulverise the Slytherins," joked Sirius, dropping down onto the seat on Peter's left, "But we managed, didn't we, Wormtail?"

Peter chortled softly as he returned to taking notes off the blackboard.

Just as they had imagined, Professor Slughorn, a rotund man with a walrus moustache, hadn't even noticed James and Sirius come in. He was holding court on the other side of the room, speaking to those lucky potioneers who were also members of the Slug Club.

"And my old pupil Bertrand Bott tells me he's bringing something exceptional with him tonight," the Professor boasted, "He always knew I had a sweet tooth!"

"I don't doubt it," muttered Sirius out of the corner of his mouth, watching the man wobble around the steaming cauldrons.

James snorted and Peter laughed. The Head Boy felt totally at ease. It felt wonderful to be sitting here with his friends, just like it was in September, having nothing better to do than pass notes and spout humorous one-liners. But even so, James still thought of Lily. His nerves had calmed down a bit since breakfast; although the news that people were trying to murder her made James think that maybe Alastor Moody had the right idea. But he knew Dumbledore would have sent her somewhere completely safe and well protected. That wasn't to say that he wouldn't try and look for her - no - he would, just not today.

Peter nudged James and gestured to a folded piece on parchment on the desk. James picked it up, and after checking to see that Slughorn was still chatting on the other side of the room, unfolded it the note. It simply read:

Sun sets at six.

James glanced at Sirius and Peter, and gave an imperceptible nod. Then he tore the note into small pieces, and scooped them into his hand. He pushed back his stool and strode over to the bubbling cauldron in the middle of the room, and emptied his fist into it, where the parchment fizzed and dissolved within seconds.

He felt Snape's eyes on him and looked up. James glared at the sneering Slytherin, and clenched his jaw. Unlike Sirius or Peter, he could never get enjoyment from the fact that Snape was forbidden to reveal Remus' secret. The knowledge that Snape could reveal it to any one of his friends wasn't the least bit funny to James.

The Head Boy broke eye contact with Snape, and turned away. He would find Lily tomorrow, he thought, but tonight, Moony was enough to worry about.

***

"I'm off!" Graham Evans called through the house.

Petunia's voice came from the kitchen automatically. "Bye."

He waited for a moment at the front door, looking up the stairs. There was no sound. He clicked his tongue in light annoyance and with a dark expression left the house, closing the door behind him with unnecessary force.

Petunia waited for a few moments at the sink, soapy water dripping from her fingertips. She listened intently for the clanging of the gate and when she heard it, she abandoned the dirty dishes and half-ran into the hall and up the stairs.

She rapped on the door on the right of the landing, screeching and burst in without waiting for a reply. "You could have at least answered him, you ignorant brat!"

The redhead sitting at the desk didn't look up, but only scratched harder with her quill.

Petunia stood in the doorway with her hands on her hips.

Lily turned to the back of the textbook in front of her, checking an answer, and continued writing.

"He's angry now, Lily, and it's your fault! For God's sake, why couldn't you just say, 'Bye'?"

"I don't have to say anything to him!"

Petunia let out a scream of frustration. "Why must you be so bloody stubborn all of the time? You'll regret this later, you will, when he comes home- and you deserve everything you get!"

Lily twisted around in the seat and her eyes flashed. "Are you telling me that I deserve it if he hits me tonight?"

Petunia's expression wavered. Then she bit out, "Yes."

Lily rose from her chair with a daunting look. "I cannot believe you just said that! I'm not like you, Petunia. I can't - grovel - when he's in a good mood in the hope that he will be easy on me later!"

"I don't grov- "

"You do grovel! It's pathetic! And pointless, because it never even makes the slightest difference! He always finds something, Petunia, no matter what you do, and no matter how many bloody dishes you clean, he's still going to come home drunk and slap you around!"

Petunia gasped and Lily herself was taken aback at her own callousness.

"At least I don't try to make him hit me! It's almost as if you want it to happen! Do you want to feel even more special than the people at your freak school? Because your father beats you?" Petunia's nostrils flared. "I always wondered why you never used that stick of yours to stop it from happening, you must love the attention you get, sobbing to your friends about your terrible home-life!"

"I'm too young to use magic outside of school, you cow! If I could use my wand do you think I'd even be here?"

Her sister sneered, "Well, I really don't know, Lily. You seem to enjoy playing the victim."

Lily stormed across the room and stood nose to nose with Petunia, who was a bit taller than Lily, but in this moment seemed to shrink.

"I do not enjoy playing the victim!" she hissed in uncontrollable rage. "And strange that you don't seem to mind me being the victim when I'm defending you, Petty! Someone in this family's got to have a backbone!"

And with that, she forcibly pushed her sister from the bedroom and the door magically slammed shut.

It was already pitch black at six o'clock that evening as Lily was returning home from the corner shop, with a carrier bag of penny sweets and chocolate bars. She had found an old tin moneybox under her bed that afternoon, full to the brim with copper coins and even a few silver coins as well. She had counted the money at her desk, leaving Defence Against the Dark Arts for a while, and the total amount came to £5.36. The embarrassment of going to the shop with a purse full of pennies was definitely a more attractive option than staying in the house with Petunia for another second. So with that in mind, Lily pulled on her cloak, which had arrived with her trunk sometime during the night, and left the house without a word.

She had been dying for some chocolate since the day before, but with all that had happened, obviously she had not had an opportunity to get some. Therefore, the first thing she picked up when she entered the pokey shop was a Marathon bar, and then remembering it was Halloween, went and bought a few mix-ups in case some little kids came trick or treating later on.

Her breath turned to steam before her face as Lily walked down her street. A sudden explosion above her made her jump and look up. A beautiful shower of red sparks was falling through the sky overhead, and a second later another firework went up. It unfurled in the sky like a flower in bloom, yellow and white glittering and crackling against the black, making it look as though there were twice as many stars.

Lily stood there, her mouth slightly open and her head tilted back, gazing at fountain of colours in the sky.

"Lily."

Her head snapped round to see that a car had pulled up alongside the path and the driver had rolled down the window. Lily's momentary sense of tranquillity vanished. Giving the woman in the car a cold look, Lily walked on towards her house. The woman drove along the road slowly, following her.

"Lily."

"I told you to leave me alone," she in a hard voice. She arrived at her gate and pushed it open. The woman stopped the car beside the footpath.

"Lily, we can't go on like this. I've told you I'm sor- " but a child's voice in the back of the car suddenly piped up, and she stopped talking.

"Mummy, what are you doing?" the boy whined, "You said we were going to get sweeties!"

In spite of herself, Lily looked in the back window of the car at the little boy, who seemed to be about five or six years old. He looked back at her sulkily.

"Ssh, love. We're going in a minute," said the woman soothingly over her shoulder. She turned quickly back to Lily, whose green eyes were still fixed on the child.

"I don't know what else I can say to you, Lily," pleaded the woman, her hands settled on the steering wheel. "I can't make it up to you unless you let me try."

Lily didn't know what to say. A little voice in her head was urging her to just let it go. She opened her mouth to speak-

"Mummy! Can't we go now? I want sweeties!" The little boy turned his blond head to glare at Lily, for depriving him of his sweets, "Who is she Mummy? Why do you always talk to her? She's a stranger!"

"Rory!" scolded the woman, but by that time Lily had already passed through the gate and was striding up the garden path.

"Lily- wait!"

Lily ignored her mother's calls.

***

Slam.

Lily jerked awake in bed and her fitful sleep was banished.

Clunk, clunk came from downstairs.

Her dad was home.

She was immobile, gripped by the irrational fear that if she moved, even just an inch, he would hear her and come up. So she didn't reach out for her alarm clock, to see how late it was, but lay on her side, paralysed. Obscure shapes loomed in the black of the bedroom and towered over her, huddled beneath the covers. Her eyes were opened wide and she strained to see through the dark, strained to see whether those were feet blocking out the light under her door, or something else entirely. He was downstairs, she knew that, but still she watched the yellow sliver of light, just in case.

There were loud thuds and bangs echoing up through the house and under Lily's door. Then came an almighty crash and Lily sat bolt upright in bed, her heart pounding. She stared at the door, wondering what on earth her father was doing down there. What had just smashed? A plate? A vase? His skull? She didn't know.

Lily decisively threw off the duvet and got out of bed to investigate. Opening the door slightly, she crept out onto the landing and crouched at the top of the stairs. The hairs on her bare arms stood up and a draught passing by her ankles made her shiver. She peeked through the poles of the banister, gripping one with her right hand, and observed a few broken pieces of china littering the doorway of the kitchen.

A plate.

He must be really drunk, she thought, her stomach twisting into knots.

Suddenly her father came into view, swaying slightly on his feet. Alarmed by his abrupt appearance, Lily started. Only her grip on the banister kept her from toppling down the stairs. She rose slowly from her crouching position, not removing her gaze from her father; and when she was sure he wasn't looking, she slipped back into her bedroom.

Lily hastened back to bed and pulled the covers right over her head, though they didn't offer any extra warmth. In her quilted cocoon her body was on full alert, fight or flee. He wouldn't have forgotten her earlier silence.

Lily pushed the duvet away from her face, listening, the darkness pressing down on her from all sides.

The sound of dragging feet stopped all thought in Lily's brain.

She rolled onto her over, turning her back on the door. Fear engulfed her but she relaxed her body and calmed cleared her face of emotion. If she appeared to be asleep, there was less chance of...

He climbed the stairs sluggishly, lifting one foot at a time and dropping it heavily onto the next carpeted step. His waterproof jacket made a scouring noise against the wallpaper as he staggered up, slumping against the wall.

After what seemed like an era, the footsteps reached the landing. The floorboards creaked in Lily's direction and he halted outside her door.

Lily stopped breathing.

Leave me alone. Leave me alone. Leave me alone.

The silence stretched on as the seconds lengthened to a minute.

Then floorboards creaked again as he turned around and lurched towards his own room.

His door clicked shut.

Lily gasped for air and thanked God.

***

The three Animagi stood like statues under the invisibility cloak. They watched Madam Pomfrey and Remus Lupin cross the lawn in the darkness. Clouds temporarily concealed the moon but the pair still hurried for fear of a sudden reappearance. They hastened to the Whomping Willow, and disappeared from view as they entered its shadow.

One had to squint to notice that the branches were moving of their own accord.

"If she doesn't hurry up..." muttered Sirius a minute later, waiting for the tree to freeze.

"No worries," James whispered to him, but he too wondered what was taking so long.

Finally, the willow's twisted arms ceased their movement and Madam Pomfrey re-emerged from the black. She walked quickly back to the castle, nervously glancing over her shoulder at the thinning clouds.

The second she was out of sight, James urged, "Go, Wormtail!"

The blond boy nodded and darted out from underneath the cloak. The sky cleared and the moon glowed white, illuminating the small boy. He features were contorted in concentration, or in pain. A second later, the boy vanished from sight and where he once stood, only a small rodent remained. It immediately began scurrying across the grass towards the gnarled monster of a tree.

When the willow froze for the second time, James and Sirius knew that Wormtail had touched the knot at the bottom of its trunk, and they wasted no time transforming.

The huge black dog bounded out from behind the bushes and the stag followed close behind. Padfoot eased into the tunnel and James, kneeling on his forelegs, squeezed in after.

This was Prongs' least favourite part of their monthly excursions. Technically, he was too big for the tunnel, but the only other option to that would be to delay transforming until he actually reached the Shrieking Shack, and that wasn't an option at all, really.

As Prongs stooped along the tunnel at a slow pace, his antlers scraping the dirt ceiling above him, the other two were well ahead, nearing the origin of the bloodcurdling howls.

When he emerged into the dusty house, the snarls and growls were much louder, and Prongs quickly straightened up and galloped towards the source.

In the destroyed living room, the werewolf was viciously clawing an armchair in the destroyed living room, occasionally leaping out at the black dog that circled it. Like all games between animals, the line between amusement and aggression was a fine one indeed. The rat was settled on top of the piano, apparently taking great pleasure in sliding along its glossy surface.

Padfoot barked at Prongs when he entered, giving the usual instructions. Prongs complied. It was his responsibility to lead Moony out of the Shrieking Shack and into the Forbidden Forest, where the Marauders' real fun began. He began by dipping his long neck down to the ground and pushing his antlers against the floor, making a terrible screeching noise. This got the werewolf's attention, and in a flash he was after Prongs, chasing it down the stairs.

Prongs galloped as fast as could, fear and adrenaline pumping through him as one. He hurtled towards the front door, and instantly noticed that more boards had been put up. Very aware of the wolf gaining on him, he increased his speed and lowered his head.

He blasted through the door like a battering ram, bits of wood flying in all directions, but didn't stop running. Prongs turned away from the lights of the village, setting his course for the alluring darkness of the forest with the wolf, dog, and rat in tow.

***

Saturday arrived wet and windy at Hogwarts. Bullet-sized drops of rain lashed at the windows of the boys' dormitory in Gryffindor Tower, where all four Marauders were cooped up.

Since they had missed the Halloween Feast the previous night, they had raided the kitchens and stole a few pumpkins from the Great Hall for their own celebrations. Sirius had kidnapped Remus in the Hospital Wing that morning and brought him up under the cloak; the sandy-haired boy was now lying in his own bed, utterly drained, with new scars on his face and body, but still managing to keep up with the conversation of the other three.

Sirius told the other two, between guffaws, about James fancying Lily. When James had revealed that she had rejected him, rather than receiving sympathy as he had hoped, the three boys only laughed harder.

After the food had been demolished and the pumpkins smashed to bits in a new sport dubbed, 'Veggie Bludgers', Remus drifted off to sleep and the three others lapsed into silence.

"This is so boring!" exclaimed Sirius after half an hour, getting up off the floor where James and Peter were playing a game of Exploding Snap.

"You don't have to stay here with me, you know. I can go back to the Hospital Wing," said Remus quietly, opening one eye to look at the black-haired boy.

"No, Moony, I didn't mean it like that," said Sirius gloomily. Then his eyes lighted on that 'thingy-phone' Remus brought with him every year to school, sitting in the corner. It was like a wizarding wireless, Sirius knew, but you had to use those 'records' to get it to work.

Sirius, James and Peter were from all wizarding families, unlike Remus, whose father was a Muggle and whose mother was a Muggleborn witch. The three Purebloods were woefully ignorant of all Muggle culture, except for Muggle music, thanks to Moony.

Remus's father was mad about music, and always sent him back to Hogwarts laden with new records to listen to over the year.

The werewolf spotted Sirius doing something in the corner, and asked tiredly, "Padfoot, are you messing with my things?"

"Not at all, Moony, my dear friend," came the unconvincing reply.

"Sirius," sighed Remus, "don't touch my- "

Is this the real life?

Is this just fantasy?

Caught in a landslide,

No escape from reality...

Sirius turned round, grinning like an idiot, as the music blared. James and Peter looked up at him, and then at each other. This was their favourite Muggle song. They had made Remus play it so many times the previous year that they had learned the words off by heart.

Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see...

"I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy," sang Sirius, moving away from record player with a feigned expression of anguish.

The two boys on the floor nodded to each other and slowly stood up, smiling as they mouthed the familiar words. "Because I'm easy come, easy go, little high, little low-

"Anyway the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me..."

With as much solemnity as he could muster, Sirius looked at Remus and sang, "To me..."

The three boys all moved towards Remus's bed, and Sirius knelt down beside it, hands clasped together, "Mama, just killed a man."

Remus watched the display with a look that clearly said 'I am in a room full of nutcases...and I'm enjoying it.'

"Put a wand against his head," nodded James, improvising with twinkling eyes.

"Cast the curse and now he's dead," crooned Peter.

Sirius sang, "Mama, life had just begun, but now I've gone and thrown it all away! Mama, ooh, didn't mean to make you cry," he got up and moved away, looking every bit the tortured soul. "If I'm not back again this time tomorrow," he waved his hand dismissively, "Carry on, carry on."

"As if nothing really matters," sang James and Peter.

"Too late!" Sirius sang dramatically, "My time has come! Sends shivers down my spine, body's aching all the time!"

Sirius began to hug each person sadly, "Goodbye everybody, I've got to go. Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth...

"Mama! Oooh! I don't wanna die! Sometimes wish I'd never been born at all!"

Peter began to play air guitar, badly, as he had never actually seen a guitar before. Remus burst out laughing and from his bed tried to show the blond boy how to do it properly.

Sirius threw himself down on his bed in despair, while nodding his head to the music.

Then James moved in front of one of their trunks, flicked out his imaginary coat tails, and sat down. Sitting very straight he pretended to play the piano in time with the music, making everyone laugh. He smiled vaguely as though he didn't know what they were laughing at.

Sirius jumped and pointed at Remus, "I see a little silhouetto of a man!"

James and Peter belted out, "Scaramouch, Scaramouch! Will you do the fandango?"

Sirius cowered while singing, "Thunder bolt and lightning, very very frightening me!"

Peter and James took turns squeaking and growling, "Galileo!"

"Galileo!"

"Galileo!"

"Galileo!"

"Galileo figaro- magnificoooo!"

Sirius began to mock James, pouting, "I'm just a poor boy nobody loves me!"

James and Peter sang pleadingly to Remus, "He's just a poor boy from a poor family! Spare him his life from this monstrosity!"

Sirius crept towards Remus, tentatively singing, "Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?"

"Bismillah- no! We will not let you go!" sang James and Peter, shaking their heads.

"Let him go!" shouted Remus, laughing.

"Bismillah! We will not let you go!"

"Let him go!" Remus repeated, sitting up.

"Bismillah! We will not let you go!"

Sirius ran up to James and started shaking him. "Let me go!"

"Will not let you go!" choked James through the laughter.

Sirius shook Peter. "Let me go!"

Peter doubled up, "Will not let you go!"

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no!" they both yelled.

Sirius threw up his hands in desperation, "Mama mia, mama mia, mama mia, let me go!"

"Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me!"

Peter sang, "For me!"

Remus jumped up in his pyjamas, "For meeeeeeeeeeee!"

James bounded on top of Remus's bed and started wildly banging his black head of hair up and down to the music. Sirius and Peter jumped on and everyone copied James. The four marauders were bouncing violently on the four-poster, even Remus, who seemed to have found a new lease of life.

James suddenly leapt off the bed, holding his wand like a microphone as he had seen someone do on a record sleeve, "SO YOU THINK YOU CAN STONE ME AND SPIT IN MY EYE?!" he roared, pointing at himself with a manic look on his face. "SO YOU THINK YOU CAN LOVE ME AND LEAVE ME TO DIE?! OH, BABY! CAN'T DO THIS TO ME BABY! JUST GOTTA GET OUT! JUST GOTTA GET RIGHT OUT OF HERE!"

James danced crazily around the room, as though heading for the door, and the other three danced too while laughing hysterically, still keeping an eye on the Head Boy in case he danced down the stairs and broke his neck.

Then he started to twirl around as the music slowed, waving his hands about, and every boy sang, "Ooooh! Oooh yeah! Ooooh yeah!"

"Nothing really matters," sang Peter with a mock expression of sadness, as he stopped bouncing on the bed.

"Anyone can see," sang Sirius, getting off the bed.

Remus went on, "Nothing really matters..."

James stopped spinning, "Nothing really matters- to me..."

Sirius lay down on the floor quietly, singing, "Any way the wind blows."

After a few seconds of silence, Sirius raised his head. "That wasn't boring, was- "

Is this the real life?

Is this just fantasy?

James turned around from the record player, singing along again, his black hair sticking straight up and his glasses askew.

"What? I want to be Freddy the whole way through."