Final Tears

- Let Me Die Young, Taxiride

Dear Ginny,

Firstly, I want to say how sorry I am that you got involved in all of this. I never meant to hurt you. I thought that it was for the best.

I was wrong. Again.

It started at the end of fifth year. The passion that we had always put into our fights revealed another source. That first night when we realised we didn´t really hate each other, I´ll remember that forever. We saw each other in private; making out in hidden cupboards, midnight rendezvous´ in empty classrooms, countless kisses stolen between classes in the many shadows of Hogwarts. But in public we had to play our roles.

No one ever guessed.

The war kept looming closer, but we ignored it. Ignored everything except for the sight of moonlight on silver skin and stormy eyes piercing my soul.

But we couldn´t ignore the war forever. He became a spy for Dumbledore as I was prepared for my duty as `hero´.

That last night we had alone, before he was Marked, we were terrified. Everything I needed, everything I ever wanted was him. We exchanged vows that night. There was no minister, just two plain silver rings engraved with Un amour sans des limites - it roughly translates to a love with no bounds.

We didn´t see each other for so long, only the occasional glimpse when he came to Hogwarts. I was trained in some of the most powerful magics to be used in centuries. When Dumbledore sent me to fight, I was so afraid. I soon got used to it.

The things I saw there, I can´t even begin to describe them. There is no glory in war, no superior side. Just blood and bodies and curses flying everywhere. I saw many of my classmates, fighting on both sides. Some I killed with my bare hands.

I had to learn not to care not to feel. I had to learn how to walk past a dying man in agony and not stop. I couldn´t stop. I was determined to make Voldemort pay for doing this.

I got my chance. There were just the two of us dueling in the Great Hall of Hogwarts. Rather ironic isn´t it. There were no farewell speeches, no provocative banter, everything had already been said.

I killed him. I enjoyed it, and I hated myself for that.

I could feel the darkness in me. I wasn´t innocent anymore and I was so afraid I would become like him.

Draco was the first person I saw after I killed Voldemort. He didn´t say anything, just held me. I wanted to stay in the haven of those arms, God I did. But I wasn´t the Harry he knew and loved. So I pushed him away.

He looked at me then, no masks or hidden depths to his gaze. He lay his hurt and shock and love to me and then he walked away.

I did what I thought was right. I played the hero.

Yesterday, he killed himself Gin. Because of me. I killed the only person in this world who loved for who I really am.

And so I must follow him. You´ll tell me I´m being melodramatic but I ask you, how can I live when the only thing I live for is dead?

Do not pity me, for now I am truly free.

Ginny, can you make sure he and I are buried together? Let me do at least one thing right for him.

Love,

Harry