Draw the Veil

X. The Truth Comes Out

Sirius, Peter, James, and I ran into one another at Kings Cross Station at the start of our second year at Hogwarts. Despite the rules I lived under, I had seen my friends fairly often over the holidays. My parents had been oblivious to most of my escapes. The few that they had discovered had led them to add more locking charms to my bedroom window, but I made short work of those. And my parents soon realised that it was difficult to punish me when they did not allow me to go out and play, anyway.

The four of us had had plenty of adventures during the break, but I had become aware of a new problem during our time together. My mates had expressed appreciation for the opposite sex before, and James's apparent attraction to Lily had always been good for a laugh, but gradually, girls had become not just one but almost the only subject of discussion. And I found it increasingly difficult to join in. Sirius would speak of some girl's smile and how it made his heart beat faster. He would smile as he thought of her, and I would feel my heart race. I wanted desperately to fit in, so I decided to pretend as hard as I could to like girls, and I firmly believed that if I tried hard enough, I would start to like them for real.

I was glad to go back to school and have real freedom. I had spent my holiday transformations in the cellar, thinking longingly of that dingy old shack that protected me while I was at Hogwarts.

My friends still questioned me about my monthly disappearances, and each time, I had a lie ready to tell them, a lie I knew they did not believe. But the closer I had got to my mates, the more guilty I felt that they did not know the truth.

One Wednesday evening, the uncomfortable topic was raised once again. Sirius and I were sitting alone in our room together, face-to-face at the desk, reading our textbooks in preparation for the next day's classes. Peter and James were...I forget where, now. My change was happening in a few days, and I had told my mates that my parents were coming up to Hogsmeade to see me.

'So, your parents are coming to visit?' Sirius asked. I nodded, and he sighed. 'Let's try the truth instead, shall we? Where do you really go every month?' He closed his textbook. 'Your parents are visiting your aunt in Cornwall this week. You told us that a couple of weeks ago. And don't tell me any of that bullshit about helping Madam Sprout. I happen to know there aren't any nocturnal plants in the greenhouses.'

I gulped. 'Oh.'

He folded his arms across his chest. 'Tell me the truth. What's happening with you?' he asked.

'I'd rather not talk about it.' Why can't he just leave it alone?

He put his book down. 'Are you a werewolf?'

My heart stopped in my chest. 'I...'

'You are! You're a werewolf!' he cried triumphantly.

I felt a chill. What was going to happen now? Did he hate me? I glanced down and blushed. 'So you guessed it.'

'Yeah, ages ago, actually. During the first couple of months of last year.' Sirius grinned. He was clearly proud of himself for having figured it out.

'You've known all this time? And you never said anything?'

Sirius just shrugged. 'I figured you didn't want to talk about it. So I didn't bring it up.'

'But you've brought it up now!' I protested.

He chuckled. 'Yeah. I guess I just got impatient waiting for you to tell me. I think we've become good friends, haven't we? The closer we've got, the more it annoyed me that you were still lying about it. Friends don't keep things like this from each other.'

'You don't understand. It's not something I can talk about. It's a secret.' I suddenly felt desperate. 'Sirius, no one can know about this! Don't tell! Please!'

He grunted. 'What about James? Peter? Aren't they your friends?'

'Well, yes, but...' I floundered. I understood what he was saying, but...

'So treat them like it,' he said. 'Friends tell each other important things, Remus. They share. It's what friendship is."

I stared at my book, seeing it but not reading it. 'It's not your problem. Don't make it your problem.'

'But we can help you,' he replied matter-of-factly, putting his hand over mine.

I stared at him. I had never seen this side of him before.

Sirius was looking at me from under his thick black eyelashes. His long hair was hanging carelessly around his face.

'Cheers, mate,' I replied softly.

'No problem.' He got up from his chair and moved to stand next to me, grinning like an idiot. 'Can I get a hug, Remus?'

I did not know what to say. But before I could respond, his arms were around me. He felt warm and strong and smelled of soap. The feel of his body this close to mine was fascinating; I had never been hugged by anyone outside of my family before.

Perhaps the novelty of the experience clouded my judgment, but I thought I felt him kiss me lightly on the top of my head.