Rating:
PG-13
House:
Astronomy Tower
Characters:
Draco Malfoy Harry Potter Seamus Finnigan
Genres:
Slash Romance
Era:
Multiple Eras
Stats:
Published: 05/11/2003
Updated: 07/03/2003
Words: 31,199
Chapters: 17
Hits: 154,034

Seamus is Seamus and You are Yourself

Ari Munami

Story Summary:
Harry goes through some er... changes in his Sixth Year and everyone, including Draco Malfoy, sits up and takes notice.

Chapter 08

Chapter Summary:
Harry returns to Hogwarts in his Sixth Year slightly, er... changed. Everyone, including Draco Malfoy, sits up and takes notice.
Posted:
07/03/2003
Hits:
8,560
Author's Note:
Completed before OotP.


SEAMUS IS SEAMUS AND YOU ARE YOURSELF 8:

RON.

Just when I thought things couldn't get any
more ridiculous, I'm proved wrong.

Harry got some very funny letters today. Not that he doesn't get a lot of letters anyway (usually from 40-year-old witches who are willing to leave their husbands) but when he got the first one, he spat his morning pumpkin juice ALL OVER it. Being the supportive and observant friend that I am, I obviously asked him what was up.

Harry turned horrified eyes to mine. "They... they want to make an... an
official calendar of me!" he choked out. Me and 'Mione both stared at him.

"Not just that!" he continued. "This bloke is willing to pay me
a million Galleons if I pose for photographs with..." here he lowered his voice considerably, "with no clothes on and in... seasonal outfits!"

This seemed to be too much for my girlfriend, however, and she burst into a set of furious giggles that were most un-Hermione-like. We both stared at her, as she went bright red.

"Sorry," she said after a minute, regaining her composure to some extent. "I was just trying to picture Harry in a Santa suit..."

"They probably wouldn't want me to
wear the suit, 'Mione!" said Harry, making Hermione burst into giggles again. If this was how 'Mione reacted to the news, I shuddered to think what Lavender Brown would say.

Still, it
was a million Galleons. Me being the good friend that I was, I had to point this out to Harry.

"Still, it
is a million Galleons, Harry," I pointed out. He stared at me.

"Yes, Ron," he said, as if he was talking to a three-year-old, " a million Galleons to have my picture taken with
nothing on at all except probably some well-placed leaves- especially in the autumn months! Then these pictured to be printed into thousands of calendars across the world. Do you see why I'm slightly reluctant to do it now, Ron?!"

Well, when he put it like that... "um, yeah, I suppose so, Harry." I paused, before coming back to the main point. "But, a million Galleons, Harry!"

Harry made a noise in the back of his throat before opening the second letter. It was written on expensive-looking, thick parchment and had an official-looking seal on the top.

As Harry read it, his mouth fell open and his eyes opened even wider.

"What is it, Harry?" asked Hermione, rather anxiously.

Harry choked, before replying, "this- this family want to open up official negotiations for me to
marry their daughter!! They even sent a picture!" He held it up with shaking hands.

It was a picture of a toothy, leggy blonde, who kept waving, smiling and winking at us all. Hermione snorted, looking at it. "Obviously dyed," she said, pointing at the girl's hair. "You could do much better, Harry."

Harry looked at her incredulously. "This family just offered me an arranged
marriage, and you're just sitting there like nothing's happened!" he exclaimed.

'Mione didn't bat an eyelash. "Many wizarding families arrange marriages," she said. "I read about it in 'Carrying on the Bloodline: Wizarding Copulation since 1600.' Lots of pure-blood families want to 'preserve their blood' as they put it. Load of old nonsense, if you ask me."

"Why isn't Ron getting an arranged marriage then?" asked Harry sulkily.

"Because he isn't very important," said Hermione.

Not important! Who does she think she is?

"Not important!" I yelled. "Who do you think you are?!"

'Mione just sighed and rolled her eyes. She didn't even apologise! "I mean your
family isn't very prestigious, Ron," she said. "Not just you."

That made me feel a whole lot better.

"Malfoy's probably had loads of offers, for example," she continued. We all turned to look at him, and almost immediately he started tapping some strange
rhythm.

I don't pretend to understand the prat.

'Mione took the letter from Harry. "What family is it?" She read for a minute and then her eyes went very wide. "The Van Weydons?! Goodness, Harry- they're one of the most important families in the
world!"

"As opposed to me, of course..." I mutter.

"Oh, do be quiet, Ron!" she snapped, as she read on. "Our daughter, Maria Van Weydon... aged 17 years... soon to complete her education at Beauxbatons Academy... dowry negotiable... hmm. Altogether, a very good offer, Harry. It's quite an honour, because, quite frankly, your family's not
that prestigious either, you know. But it's better than Ron's."

Really knows how to flatter someone, my girlfriend, doesn't she?

VOLDEMORT.

That blasted boy has got one over on me once
again.

I haven't got that much free time on my hands, as you can guess. It's not a part-time job you know, Trying To Take Over The World. There are lots of
issues involved.

But that
boy. I had to take considerable time out of my killing spree to re-write the Death Eater's Handbook just to include him!

You know the Handbook. Tells you all the do's and don'ts of being a Death Eater. First on the list is of course declaring me the all-Supreme Leader. Second is getting the Dark Mark.

Now there's a 365th rule. Thou shalt not lust over Harry Potter but instead kill him.
Kill him!!

Quite a few Death Eaters seem to have a
problem with this.

Such as Nott. Which is why I'm being forced to take even
more time out of my busy schedule just to punish him. He's at my feet at the moment, trembling. I hold out the offending article.

"What is this, Nott?"

He doesn't answer. This is taking far too long, so I supply the answer instead.

"Is this not a
picture of Harry Potter, cut out of a copy of Witch Weekly, Nott?"

He decides it best to answer this time.

"Y-yes, My Lord, but-"

"And it was found within your belongings, was it not?"

"Well er,
technically, My Lord..."

"Have you read the Handbook recently, Nott? Seen Rule number 365, by any chance?"

"Well, yes, My Lord..."

"There you are, then.
CRUCIO!"

That dratted boy has all the luck.

First of all, he manages
not to die when I hit him with the Killing Curse as a baby. No. Instead, some little freak of nature means that I'm the one who's stuck being more dead than alive.

Then he manages to stop me from using the Philosopher's Stone that would have made me Unstoppable in my plan to Take Over The World.

And
then he didn't even manage to become good-looking by the time I captured him during the Tri-Wizard Tournament. No. Instead he had to turn up looking like a half-starved tree frog. Not that I'm particularly happy with him getting 'It,' but couldn't have got all pretty before I captured him? Then he would have looked like a lovely sacrificial virgin tied to the headstone and everyone would have tried much harder to capture him instead of letting him escape. Hmph!

But the most annoying thing is...

I used to look like that.

I used to have It. I really did. I gave it all up through my magical... improvements in a bid to Take Over The World.

But, apparently,
Harry Potter doesn't have to get rid of his looks. No. He gets to be the one everyone wants because I've been painted as the villain of the piece. The press have really got it in for me, I must say. But he gets to stay all pretty. And alive. STILL.

Dammit!

DRACO.

Someone tried to spike Potter's drink with a Love Potion today.

Why the hell didn't
I think of that?!

It didn't go according to plan, however. Harry drank it without noticing, but luckily the girl who made it, a little Ravenclaw Fourth Year, had brewed it wrong and so instead of making Harry fall in love with her, it made him think that everyone hated him instead. So the truth came out, and the stupid little cow got suspended for two weeks. Heh heh heh.

Harry was finally allowed to go to the Hospital Wing when he burst into tears in the middle of Transfiguration and said that Weasley was being 'mean' to him by asking to borrow a quill.

Then, after dinner, there were rumours that he had managed to escape the Hospital Wing and was roaming around the school, sobbing his little heart out.

Not that I was
worried, or anything. It would wear off soon.

And I certainly didn't feel
sorry for him. Of course not.

I didn't feel the need to go and
hug or comfort Harry, or anything. Nope. I'm my own man. I've got my own theme song AND mantra. And I'm not completely gone on Potter, if that's what you're thinking. I haven't resorted to drawing hearts all over my parchment or anything. Give me some credit. And no lightning bolts either; which would have been more appropriate. Well, alright, ONE lightning bolt, but- it was a mistake, I swear! The quill just sort of... SLIPPED! Stop looking at me like that!

And I
really wasn't looking for Potter that night. I was just walking around at one o'clock in the morning, minding my own business, when- there Potter was. Just sitting there in an empty classroom, looking terribly sad with tears running down his cheeks.

As I looked at him it occurred to me that Potter looked good even when he was
crying. Now, this defies all laws known to man. Even I look terrible when I've been crying, and I'm fucking gorgeous. My nose goes all red and my face all blotchy. Not Potter, however. He looked like some beautiful... gargh. No!

'Ain't No Sunshine' had just started in my head yet AGAIN! In the name of all that is good and holy! WHY?!

As if he could hear the bloody music, (but it was probably just the rhythm I was unconsciously tapping) Harry turned and spotted me. He gave a sort of wobbly half-smile before the tears began leaking down his cheeks again and my stomach flipped over. Well, he IS gorgeous!

"Malfoy," he said sniffily, "what do you want? You're always so
horrible to me!" Then he starts crying again.

For fuck's sake! Well, I couldn't just
leave him like that!

I stepped closer. "Nothing," I managed, as calm as I could with bloody music in my head.

He laughed quite bitterly. "That's a first," he said. "No devious master plan today?"

And all I could think was: "Awwww!" Oh dear. What was my mantra again? I couldn't quite seem to remember, for some reason...

I didn't answer. What with the music and the entrancing way the moonlight bounced off his face I was in no position to, quite frankly.

"Why does everyone hate me?" he burst out, before going into furious sobs yet AGAIN. Stupid potion!

I rolled my eyes, and then patted him gingerly on the shoulder in what I hoped was a comforting manner. Well, I'd never comforted someone before! It was hard!

"There, there, Potter," I muttered. To my immense surprise (and private joy, of course) Harry
launched himself into my arms and proceeded to sob soggily onto my shoulder.

"I just don't know what I did wrong..." he starts saying.

Well. I don't know what it was. Let's just put it down to Potter's gorgeousness, the music in my head that was stopping me from thinking correctly and the moonlight. Not to mention the fact that Harry was touching me without wanting to beat me up.

On a Thursday, at 1.39 am, I Draco Malfoy leant down towards Harry Potter and pecked him on the lips.

I mean, it wasn't even a
proper kiss! It was the kind that I give my ugly great-aunts at Christmas! A peck for crying out loud!

We stared into each other's eyes for a few seconds afterwards, his wide and shocked. I suppose mine were more or less the same. Then I scrambled away.

He stared at me, obviously shocked out of thinking everyone had turned against him. He spluttered, "what- what the HELL was that?!"

With just 0.6 seconds to come up with a way of getting out of this (just picture the headlines: 'Malfoy Heir assaults drugged-up Boy-Who-Lived') I came up with the stupidest plan in the history of stupid plans.

"What was what?" I said.

He was spluttering even more now. I was about to melt into a pile of goo right then and there.

"You- you just KISSED me!"

"No I didn't!" I said.

" Malfoy. You. Just. DID!"

"No I didn't!" I yelled.

The great thing about Potter is that he's so trusting, that if you tell him something enough times he'll usually believe it. He started looking adorably confused. I started to relax.

But I also forgot that Harry Potter wasn't stupid. He shook himself suddenly. " Look, I know you did!"

Got me there. So, I started panicking.

"No I didn't! You can't prove anything! Leave me alone!"

With that I ran away, leaving Harry standing in the classroom looking quite baffled.

Oh dear. Not quite what I envisioned our first kiss to be like.

I'm sure you're all wondering why I didn't just say: "I kissed you because I like you, Harry. I have done for a long time. Will you please go out with me?"

I'm a fucking Slytherin, that's bloody why! Why we might be devious and crafty, we're also...

Well, we're cowards. Why else would we feel the need to
do things in an underhand way, if we weren't?

There, I've said it. I'm a coward. I'm too frightened to tell Potter that I lo-
like him. I'm frightened of what he might say. I'm frightened in case he utterly rejects me, and even more so at the thought that he might decide to like me too.

I'm just frightened, all right?

But Harry's a bloody Gryffindor. He's so fucking
brave, he won't be frightened.

Oh dear me.

What is he going to
do?!

I need to leave the country straight away.

Where's my broomstick?