Claddagh

Claddagh

The light of the moon was so bright that the room was bright enough to read a book by. Moony was probably having a bad night. Just then Arabella shifted next to me. She always was such a restless sleeper.

The years apart had been a lot kinder to her than me. Naturally, you dolt. She wasn’t in Azkaban. But she missed you. It’s funny how twelve years of only being able to picture the woman you love in the worst moments of your relationship can distort what you should know to be true. It was stupid of me to think that she wouldn’t want me back, that she wouldn’t believe the truth. But I did always act the part of the idiot. And now she’s here, beside me. I can’t let her go again.

She still wears the ring I gave her. That Claddagh I bought her when I visited her in Ireland while she was training. We weren’t engaged yet, but we really were. Does that really make any sense at all? We’ve been engaged since we finally stopped investing all our time in the front of a plutonic relationship in sixth year. She had been dating that idiot Cecil and I was, well; I was living up to my reputation as Sirius Black. We were outside of Zonko’s, and something, something just happened. She was wearing these deep purple robes that she had gotten for fun and we had just bought enough Filibuster’s to probably blow up the school. I turned to her, and there was this intangible change in my feelings for her. It was like there was this battle in my mind for six years and then the side that loved her finally beat the other into submission.

Kissing her took her totally by surprise, but when she melted against me, it was like I had died and gone to heaven. The smell of her hair (lavender and soap), the feel of her so close to me, it was too much. I pulled her over behind a tree or something, I can't remember now, and kissed her again, deeper and longer this time. When I pulled away, I still held her face close to mine, my forehead resting on hers. I had kissed a lot of girls. Prongs and Moony had fun calling me a ‘man whore’, but I really wasn’t that bad. But this was so different, so wonderful…

She dumped Cecil, thank God. That insensitive prat. If I was completely unworthy of dating her, which I was, he wasn’t worthy of breathing her air. How lucky was I, every time I ran my fingers through her hair, every time I kissed her. And then, after Hogwarts, when we got that flat in London, it was almost like I was living someone else’s life, because I did not deserve to be so happy.

It’s funny how one’s memory can completely block out everything bad when something you love is taken from you. Sure, we fought, we argued, half the time just because it was fun to insult each other. But its not like it mattered once Wormtail turned stinking rotten traitor. I didn’t even think of Bella until she came to the scene of the crime. Then, I spent twelve years long years thinking of the look in her eyes before she disappeared. The Dementors are funny that way, it was like every kiss, every night never happened and all that was left was every fight and every tear. But not anymore.

She’s here with me. She’s here with me, away from the Dementors, away from the world, here in this bed where I can stroke her hair, feel the softness of her skin. I can kiss her, I can make love to her, and they can't take her away from me again. I won’t let them… no, I can’t let them. If I lost her again, they might as well give me the Kiss. I can’t live without her.

Prongs would laugh his ass off at me now. Sirius Black, smitten by the girl he almost killed on a number of occasions in school. But he would also know that the truth is she was the only woman who I ever loved, and ever loved me. And he would be glad that I finally removed my head from my ass and told her. When I marry her, even though he isn’t really there, Prongs will be standing by my side, just like I did for him.

Stroking her hair, I sighed at the sleeping beauty next to him as she moved again, closer to me this time. I’m no prince charming, but hell, I’m pretty happy anyway. Prince Charles couldn’t be this lucky in a million years.